Maybe for You--A Whiskey and Weddings Novel

by Nicole McLaughlin

  “By talking to one of my best friends? And you’re never going to be alone in the world.”

  She sighed. “I don’t mean it literally. And Jake and I are just friends, Dean. But as for this job and this move, these are things that I need to do. For me. I’ve worked really hard to heal and get to a place where I feel confident in my own abilities. I’ve also worked really hard in my career. Because of that I was offered a job with the CIA. It’s a big deal. I have to take it.”

  He didn’t look convinced. “Nobody is prouder or more impressed with you than I am, Buzz. But it’s so far away.”

  “We can visit her, babe. I love D.C.,” Charlotte said quietly, looking at him. “And she can visit us.”

  Alex nodded, silently thanking Charlotte for her support.

  He blew out a breath. “You’re right. It just feels like you’ve been gone for so long and I was just looking forward to having you back.”

  Alex’s smile faltered. “I know you were. But like Charlotte said, we can visit all the time. And who knows how long it will last. Maybe I’ll hate it.”

  His eyebrow went up. “You working on national security? That’s right up your alley.”

  She laughed. “True, but what do you think I’ve been doing all these years?”

  “When do you have to leave?” he asked.

  “Not until November, so you’ve still got me for a while.”

  “Well, that’s good. Maybe I’ll be sick of you by then.” He smirked, and she knew then that he would be fine. Except there was one little thing left.

  “Also, I want to tell you something else.” She paused for a minute, and then decided to just say it. “I’m going with Jake on his festival tour Thursday.”

  She bit her lip, watching, as both Charlotte and Dean’s eyes went round.

  “What the hell for?” Dean asked.

  Alex shrugged. “Because I can. And because I want to. Also, honestly, it sounds like it would be good to have a woman along keeping him in check.”

  “Has he been hitting on you?” Dean asked, his voice turning angry.

  “No! What the heck? Why would you even ask that? Did you not hear me a few minutes ago? He’s been a complete gentleman. He knows there’s no way I’m interested. I just lost my fiancé, Dean.”

  “A year ago. And shit, we all know he has no trouble putting his di—”

  “Stop right there before you say something you’ll regret,” Charlotte said, turning to her fiancé and shutting him up. “Don’t you dare imply that Jake has to coerce anyone to sleep with him. There are plenty of women out there that are looking to get laid. You need to give him a break. And you wouldn’t be friends with him if you didn’t trust him.”

  Now it was Alex’s turn to be shocked, and she was ready for Dean to be upset at Charlotte. But seeing as she was proving to be the Dean-whisperer, he wasn’t.

  Sucking in a deep breath, Dean looked at her. “He’s okay with this, I assume?”

  “Yeah, but you should know it was my idea. I’d wanted to do some traveling between now and November. This seems like a perfect way to do it.”

  “You know he’s going through Atlanta, right?” Dean asked, and Alex knew exactly what he was implying.

  “Yes. I know that.” Nate had been from Atlanta, and his family was obviously all there. She’d kept in touch with them over the past year, but not as much as she should have. “I’d planned to visit them this year, but honestly, I don’t think I’m quite ready.”

  Dean nodded. “Well, if you’re going to go, I’m assuming you’re going to work. So we’re going to pay you.”

  “I won’t argue with that,” she said. She looked at Charlotte. “And I’ve been thinking, I don’t mind helping out at the Stag a few hours a day when I’m back. Until you find someone,” she said to Dean.

  He looked visibly relieved. “That’s really helpful. Thanks, Alex.”

  “What are amazing sisters for?”

  *   *   *

  “I could go for a pretzel. You?” Alex looked over at Charlotte as they walked through the mall.

  “Yeah, that sounds good. I’m also dying for a drink,” Charlotte said as they made their way to the Auntie Anne’s kiosk. They set down their bags at a table. “You watch these. My treat.”

  “No way, you’ve already—”

  Charlotte stuck a hand out. “Don’t. I got this. Consider it a going-away celebration.”

  Alex just smiled and relaxed into the chair. Charlotte had been way too generous with her today, buying her lunch and a pair of shoes she’d waffled on. Alex knew the other woman was incredibly successful in her business as a wedding photographer, but still, she didn’t owe Alex anything.

  With a sigh, she stretched her feet out, popping her ankles. They’d been shopping since the mall opened. And who knew trying on clothes was so exhausting? She hadn’t shopped like this since high school. But she had to admit that it had been a lot of fun finding clothes to take on her trip. She’d purchased clothing in Europe, but not a lot of everyday items sufficient for work and travel. Now she was stocked up on shorts, tops, a few pairs of pants, a couple of nice dresses, and even bras and underwear. The only stop they had left was the makeup store. It had been ages since she’d wanted or needed to wear makeup every day.

  After a little while Charlotte returned with two sodas, a large cup of pretzel bites, and a tub of cheese.

  “I got the spicy kind,” Charlotte said, pointing to the tub. “Hope you don’t mind.”

  “Of course not.” Alex didn’t hesitate, picking up a pretzel bite and dunking it. She put it in her mouth. It was divine, fake cheese with a kick.

  They both ate for a few moments in silence. “I had some really good food in Italy, but nobody does crap snacks like the U.S.”

  Charlotte laughed. “Right? And the health statistics to match.”

  “Seriously,” Alexis said before taking a drink of her soda. They continued to eat, and after a few moments she glanced over to find Charlotte wistfully staring at an incredibly pregnant woman shopping near the front of a toddler- and baby-clothing store nearby.

  Last year when she’d been home after Nate’s accident, she’d learned that her brother was unable to have children, and that it had been a key factor in the demise of his first marriage. His divorce from Amy, his ex, had been hard on Alex because they had taken her in when her parents—her father and Dean’s mother—had died in an accident. The news of her brother’s sterility had made her sad, but also explained a lot about her brother and his ex.

  When Alex realized he was about to let it ruin another relationship—this time with Charlotte—she’d given him a piece of her mind. Thankfully he’d gotten his shit together. Well, actually, the credit all went to Charlotte, who was basically amazing for telling him that he didn’t get to decide what she did and didn’t want or need. But Alex knew that although Charlotte loved Dean enough to deal with his inability to get her pregnant, it didn’t mean it wasn’t a harsh and painful reality for her. She was still a young woman.

  “She seems ready to pop any minute,” Alex said teasingly.

  Charlotte’s head jerked toward her. “She does, doesn’t she? I was thinking the same thing.”

  “Looks miserable,” Alex said, reaching for her drink. She quickly realized that may have been the wrong thing to say.

  “Worth the short-term pain, I’m sure,” Charlotte said.

  “Oh I’m sure it is, I didn’t mean to imply it wasn’t.” Alex cleared her throat, knowing that this could backfire, but this woman was going to be her family soon, and she wanted them to be close. “Have you and Dean … well, have you talked about … alternatives?”

  Charlotte’s eyebrows went up and she swallowed, hesitating. “Some. Nothing too serious, as we’re not married yet.”

  Alex nodded. “True, but Dean’s not getting any younger.”

  Charlotte laughed. “That’s for sure. Neither am I. We realize that, and well, between you and me…” Charlotte scoote
d in her chair, so instinctively Alex did the same. “I’ve been doing a little research on adoption. Just finding out what our first steps would be. Asking questions. The sooner we start the process the better, because it could take years.”

  “Good for you,” Alex said. “And, when are you guys going to get married?”

  Charlotte smiled. “Well, funny you should ask, because we did finally agree on a date.”

  “Oh my goodness. When?”

  “April twenty-fifth. It’s a Thursday evening.”

  “Thursday, really?” Alex said, confused.

  “Well, it’s going to be a small wedding. Everyone at the Stag and our families. Only the important people. And, well, we had to be sure it didn’t conflict with events at the Stag.”

  Alex nodded. “That makes sense. I’m excited. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” Charlotte said, smiling. “I was also hoping you would agree to be my maid-of-honor.”

  Alex froze, her eyes wide. “Seriously?”

  “Seriously,” Charlotte said, biting her lip nervously.

  The back of Alex’s eyes suddenly burned. “I would love that, Charlotte. Oh my God, yes.” She leaned over and awkwardly wrapped her arm around her. “Does this mean now I get to help plan your wedding?”

  Charlotte sat up straight. “You’re welcome to, and I’d absolutely love that. But please don’t feel obligated. I know that might be … difficult.”

  Alex considered that as she tried to brush a wayward tear from her eye nonchalantly. She hated that she’d felt inclined to cry so often lately. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.” Forcing a smile, she looked at Charlotte who had sympathy in her eyes.

  “I admire you so much, Alexis,” Charlotte said.

  “Oh gosh, what for?” She laughed awkwardly. “I’m good at keeping it together on the outside, but I have some ways to go on the inside.”

  “And that’s what’s so amazing about you. What you went through—are going through still. Well, I just think the fact that you pulled yourself together, deployed and got back to work, it’s just sort of amazing. I don’t know what I would have done.”

  “You probably would have done the same, honestly. I’m no superhero. You just go on because there is nothing else to do. You put one foot in front of the other every day and then cry yourself to sleep at night.” She let out a hard breath, internally cursing the next few tears that escaped. “Sorry,” she said, grabbing a napkin and wiping her eyes. She was usually so damn strong.

  Charlotte reached out and touched Alex’s hand on the table. “Don’t apologize. Please. I want you to share whatever you need to share. I know it’s not quite the same, but before my failed engagement to John, we suffered a very traumatic miscarriage. I’d carried that baby for an entire trimester. Losing it was the most horrible thing I’d ever gone through and I kept it all bottled inside. Didn’t share it with anyone except John. I had a support system that I refused to reach out to because I didn’t want to burden them. Instead I just laid all my pain on one person—even worse, I kept most of it inside.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that, Charlotte.”

  Charlotte gave her a sad smile. “Thank you, but it’s been a long time now. And I’m obviously not sorry that things with John didn’t work out.”

  Alex laughed through her tears at the cringe on Charlotte’s face. “Well, yeah, thank goodness it didn’t, or we wouldn’t be here now,” she said. Many years ago, Charlotte’s first fiancé—and high school sweetheart—had stood her up on the day of their wedding. Funny thing, he was now a distiller at the Stag and everyone seemed to get along okay. Some things were just too crazy to be explained.

  “Agreed. But isn’t it a little twisted that I’m secretly looking forward to John watching me walk down the aisle to marry someone else?”

  They chuckled together. “Not at all. I think you deserve that feeling. And I’d be happy to help you choose an amazing dress for that occasion. I bet we can get a lot of planning done before I leave in November.”

  “I agree. Especially with all my contacts. And now I’m super excited.” Charlotte leaned back and tossed their empty pretzel cup into a nearby trash can. “But for now, let’s get some makeup and then get home so we can get these new clothes washed and packed for your trip.”

  Alex nodded and stood up, taking a final sip of her drink, and then followed Charlotte toward the makeup store. “You know where else I’d like to go? The bookstore. I could use a few things to read on the road.”

  “Think you’ll have time for reading?” Charlotte asked.

  “Why wouldn’t I?” Alex replied. “Two weeks of on and off driving.”

  Charlotte just shrugged, an odd smile on her face. “I don’t know. I just figured you two will be having too much fun for reading.”

  Alex’s head jerked back. “What does that mean? This is Jake we’re talking about here.”

  Charlotte grinned. “Exactly. Jake knows how to have fun.”

  “Yeah, too much apparently.”

  “I know, I know,” Charlotte said. “But that doesn’t mean you guys can’t have a good time.”

  “You don’t mean what I think you mean, do you?” Alex asked in shock. “Because my answer to that is ‘no way no how.’”

  “No, I didn’t mean anything like that. But it can still be fun. Two young people, road trip, concerts, and lots of people.” Charlotte glanced over at her. “Just make the most of this time. That’s all I’m saying.”

  Five

  Thursday morning, bright and early, Jake pulled the truck—and the Stag Wagon—up to the curb outside the Stag. He could see Alex waiting behind the front door and as soon as he got out of the truck, she was bending down to pick up her things. Before he could get to her, he saw Dean step outside with a bag.

  Great.

  “Hey,” Dean said. He shoved a thumb over his shoulder. “Alex will be out in a minute. Decided she needed to use the restroom before you got on the road.”

  “No problem.” Jake held a hand out for her bag and Dean handed it to him. Turning around, he opened the back-seat door of the truck and placed it on the seat.

  Dean was still standing there when he turned back around.

  “It’s good to see you, man. We missed you the last couple of days. I feel like I owe you an apology.”

  The sincerity of Dean’s words didn’t entirely shock Jake, considering Dean was for the most part a pretty levelheaded guy. There were a couple of things that riled him up. Anything that threatened the safety of someone he loved, and a grain mash going bad in his distilling room. But Jake had kind of assumed that after Alex had told him of her plan Tuesday evening, he’d be hearing from Dean. Jake was almost impressed with his friend for not showing up at his door to give him a set-down. So yeah, maybe this cool, calm, and collected interaction was surprising him a bit.

  And if Dean was capable of handling this like a man, Jake figured he ought to follow suit. “I appreciate that. I just needed a couple of days to process some things. I think I owe you guys an apology also.”

  Just as he finished speaking, the front door opened. Jake turned, but instead of only Alex, TJ was stepping outside with her. It was early. Earlier than TJ usually got there, so Jake knew his best friend had shown up just to have this conversation.

  “Morning,” TJ said. “I’m glad I caught you.”

  “Yeah, well, I was just telling Dean I owed you both an apology.”

  TJ’s eyebrows went up. “What for?”

  “For screwing around.”

  “Jake—” TJ started, but Jake wasn’t finished.

  “It was stupid of me. I should have known better, and it won’t be happening anymore.”

  TJ and Dean exchanged a look. Finally TJ looked at Jake. “Listen, none of us have been saints for the past five years. That Frye woman was very smug and self-righteous when she called. I apologize for not handling our conversation better on Monday. We’re all in this together, and I hate that you felt
ostracized.”

  Jake nodded, unsure of what else to say. He wasn’t completely over what had happened, mostly because his feelings of insecurity had been brewing for a while. But he appreciated the apologies.

  He glanced over at Alex, standing off to the side by the pickup. “You ready?”

  She pushed off the door and gave him a small smile. “Yep.”

  “I know it doesn’t need to be said,” Dean started, “but please take care of my sister.”

  “You’re right, it definitely didn’t need to be said.” Jake picked up Alex’s other bag.

  Dean put up his hands in surrender, then headed over to Alex, wrapping her in a hug.

  Jake turned to walk around to the driver’s side of the truck but was stopped by TJ. “Hey, man, we good?” he asked.

  “We’re good.” Jake’s jaw tensed as he put his sunglasses on. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

  TJ nodded. “Have fun. But … be careful. You let anything happen to Alex and you may as well not come back. Know what I’m sayin’?”

  “I hear ya,” Jake said, heading for his door. “We’ll be fine.”

  *   *   *

  Alex hadn’t said much since they’d left the Stag twenty minutes earlier. She’d been too busy thinking about the man sitting beside her. It was a relief that he’d finally spoken with the other guys, but it hadn’t gone how she’d expected. When it came to her and Jake, she’d basically been the needy one in the relationship. He’d seen her through some dark thoughts over the past year. Let her message long, overwrought monologues where she went on and on about her dreams, her fears, her emotions. And he’d always responded and either gave his own thoughtful insight or often just agreed with her.

  He’d shared plenty, but nowhere near what she had, which made sense to a point. He hadn’t been the one grieving a loved one, she had. But it suddenly occurred to her that their closeness was a little one-sided. Maybe more than a little. Was it because he had no desire to share his deep or painful emotions, or because he didn’t feel welcome to? The thought made her feel incredibly guilty. Only one way to find out.