Savaged Dreams: Savaged Illusions Trilogy Book 1

by Jennifer Lyon

  That bastard had humiliated his beautiful girl by leering like her tits were public property. Justice’s control slipped another notch, the fury he’d been holding back rising. He’d never had these dueling urges before: to protect and care for her while battling with the need to sexually claim her.

  Her hand branded his stomach.

  A whip of heat lashed through him. His cock bounced, seeking Beth’s touch.

  “Your jaw’s clenched,” she said. “Are you mad because you thought I was cutting?”

  He jerked his gaze to hers. “No.”

  “Are you angry at me for something else?”

  That got his attention off his lust. “I’m not upset at you. I’m damn proud of you.”

  “Then what?”

  He could give her the sanitized version, but why? Beth knew she was safe with him. “If I tell you, it’ll be the unvarnished truth. Ready for that, baby?”

  Her chin shot up. “Bring it.”

  “That bastard had his hand on you.” He gently touched the mark on her biceps. Her skin was so fair she’d have a bruise, and that fed his rage. “I’m pissed at myself for not getting there fast enough to stop him. I’m furious that you were backed into a corner with some asshole scaring you, touching you or even looking at you. I’m edgy as hell, and never have I needed to kiss and fuck a woman the way I do now. Not proud of it,” he quickly clarified. “And I’m sure as hell not acting on it, but you drive me to places I’ve never been. I want to get that other bastard’s scent off your skin and memory wiped from you mind, so that you only think, feel, hear and come for me.”

  Her mouth stayed open.

  His brushed her bottom lip with his thumb and repeated, “I won’t act on those feelings.”

  “I was jealous,” she blurted out. “Or possessive or something. I didn’t want to share you with those fans at the restaurant. I wanted all your attention on me. That’s wrong, I’m your publicist.” Misery clouded her eyes. “My feelings are swinging around today. I was wildly excited for our date, and yet I’m freaking out. It’s too much, I’m losing control.”

  “You don’t need control, not with me. You can be jealous, and mad, and even yell. If you’re mad at me, say it. Tell me off.” Anything was better than being shut out.

  She grazed her fingers lower, brushing over his pubic hair. “I don’t lose my temper. I readjust my expectations.”

  Justice shuddered, his belly tightening with raw need. But he heard her words, and they infuriated him. Beth had been forced to stifle her feelings, hell she’d been compelled to repress part of her personality after her rape. He didn’t care that her aunt and uncle had problems, Beth had been the victim and the child—she’d needed love and support, not a demand for silence. “That’s utter bullshit. You don’t hide your feelings with me.”

  “Is that right?” She stroked her hand over the head of his cock.

  He moved back from her touch, the spray of hot water cascading off his shoulders. Damn near helpless to stop himself, he lowered his hungry gaze over her soft belly to the hair slicked down between her legs. Jesus. Fiery lust rammed into him, taking his cock from hard to one massive throb. He should reach behind him and twist the water to cold, but he couldn’t harness enough brainpower to actually do it.

  “You told me you found your voice here in San Diego. Use it. You want something from me?” He wasn’t going to unleash his needs on her until he was sure it was exactly what she wanted too.

  Naked anger sparked in her eyes. “I didn’t like the way I felt. It was our date, and those girls were touching you. I wanted to push them off you and kiss you right there in front of everyone. Maybe I’d shove my camera in their hand and demand they take a picture, then I’d post it and show the whole world that you’re mine. How’s that, Justice? That enough feelings for you?” She closed her eyes. “I know how stupid that sounds. I want you to win and—”

  “Don’t you dare backtrack now.” He stalked her to the shower wall. “Those are your feelings. I want them. Every damned one.”

  Her stare roamed down his body, then snapped back to his face. A current arced between them. He didn’t touch her, yet the connection shivered on the moist air. Need screamed between them. Her nipples hardened, and she raised one hand toward him.

  He saw it again, that fucker’s hand wrapped around her arm and Beth kicking the shit out of his shin.

  “You want me to kiss you? My hands on you?” He slapped a hand on the fiberglass over her head. “The only reason I’m not kissing you in public and making it clear you belong to me is that you want to keep our personal life out of the limelight.” He didn’t like it either, but he understood. “We’re not in public now.”

  She caressed the thick head of his cock. “Yet you’re holding back.”

  A harsh sound escaped his throat as streaks of heat licked his nerves and brought out his primal instincts.

  She gripped his shaft and jacked a slow, torturous path, until he saw spots. “I wanted them to know you’re mine.”

  Swear to God, it almost sounded like she was growling. That pitch burrowed into him and spread a raw, pulsing throb of desire. He loved that she trusted him with her most intimate thoughts.

  “But you’re not,” she added.

  Pissed and possessive Beth was hot as Hades and consumed him. “Bullshit. I’m yours right here, right now.” He wrapped an arm around her waist, tugged her to him and devoured her mouth. Plunging his tongue in, he tasted and probed, while spreading his hand over the back of her head and holding her in place.

  She dug her fingers into his hair and tugged, moaning into his mouth. Her aggression raked over him in provocative waves. She burned for him, and he loved it, loved that she didn’t hold back.

  He slid his fingers between her legs, parting her folds, which were wet and swollen with her clit exposed. God. Heat and blood roared in his ears. He fought to slow down, to savor her and give her what she needed. For too many years she’d held back parts of herself. But not now, not with him. He feathered touches, discovering the spot that made her whimper. He kept kissing her, melding their mouths and tongues, and eased a finger into her tight sheath.

  Beth ripped her mouth away, burying her face in his neck. “Please. More. I need you inside me.”

  Hooking an arm around her waist, he lifted her. Water rained down on them, steam billowed, and his entire world narrowed to her. “Put your legs around me.” He lined up his cockhead to her entrance. The feel of her slick heat made him shudder, and he gripped her tighter. He didn’t dare let her go, couldn’t. Setting his jaw, he pushed in.

  “Say it, Beth. Say I’m yours.” He wanted her to claim him, mark him, and never let go.

  Her eyes widened, and she pressed her forehead to his. “You’re mine. Right here, right now, you’re mine.”

  Seeing that she needed this as much as he did, Justice surged into her. “Damn right.” Too desperate to care about anything but them, he held her hips and thrust. Again and again. She clawed at his shoulders, riding the sensation as he drove his cock into her while mating their tongues. Electric pleasure pounded higher and higher.

  He yanked his head back, gaze locked on her. “Do it, Beth. Come on my cock.” The words ripped out of his chest. He wanted to feel her pussy milking him. “Possess me.” A distant warning screamed in his head that something was wrong. For a heartbeat he tried to think.

  Beth grabbed his attention as she slapped her shoulders against the wall, hips pumping on his dick, and detonated. Cries spilled from her lips. Her face and chest flushed, and her internal walls spasmed.

  “Damn,” he snarled out as he clasped her hips harder, riding her. Looking down, he got a full view of his bare cock covered only in her juices, plunging in and out. So fucking hot. His balls drew up as fire lanced down his spine, and he climaxed. He wrapped Beth tight in his arms, holding her against him as the ferocious pleasure slammed him over and over.

  Finally, he managed to get a breath, and oxygen hit his brain full
force. That earlier niggling warning exploded into clarity. Panic nearly buckled his knees.

  I forgot a condom.

  The four words screamed in his head as he eased Beth to her feet.

  She glanced down at his cock then back up. Her eyes widened as comprehension chased out the afterglow of wild sex. Her lips parted, but nothing came out.

  His panic ratcheted up. “Tell me you went on birth control this week.” How long would it take to be effective? Were they covered? He grasped desperately at the possibility.

  The color drained from her face. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. “No. I lost control and didn’t think.”

  “Easy, Beth.” Her frantic tone cut into his panic. He turned the water off, grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it. “We’ll…” What?

  He was a rock star. It was the only thing he was good at. The only thing that made him worth anything. He sucked at being a son. And look what he’d just done to Liza—fucked her without a condom.

  He couldn’t be a father.

  * * *

  What had she done? Liza stood in the tiny laundry room located on the first floor. Two machines rocked on the old tile, sounding like they were filled with shoes, not fabric.

  Leaning her forehead against the wall painted the same color as overripe bananas, she tried to calm down.

  Think.

  She’d had unprotected sex. With a rock star.

  She’d seen this movie. Read the book. Lived it. The plot twists scared the shit out of her. There wasn’t a happy ending—just ask her mom sitting in prison.

  Lifting her phone, Liza eyed the text she’d frantically typed but had yet to send. I screwed up. Finally she hit send.

  Her phone rang.

  “What did you do?” Emily demanded. “I left you at the restaurant safe and sound like an hour and a half ago.”

  It spilled out of her in one breathless sentence. “Fans bombarded Justice, he asked me to take pictures, I got jealous, fell into a guy who dumped his beer on me, another guy tried to take a picture of my wet boobs, I kicked him and had unprotected sex with Justice.”

  “Damn, girl, you pack a lot of action into a short film. Question.”

  “What?” Too much anxiety had her bouncing her knees as she stared at lint rolling across the floor.

  “Did you have sex with Justice at the restaurant?”

  “Of course not. In the shower. I was trying to get the beer off.”

  “That’s a relief.”

  “Em, I can’t get pregnant.” She needed help, not commentary on her sex life.

  “Three words, genius. Ready?”

  “Run like hell?”

  She snorted. “Nope, can’t outrun pregnancy. Morning-after pill. Be at the clinic at nine a.m. I’m working in the morning, I’ll get you in.”

  Morning-after pill. She could do that. What she couldn’t do was have a baby right now.

  “You’re going on birth control too. Low-dose shot. No arguments.”

  Relief helped her breathe. “Thanks, Em.” She wouldn’t argue. She should have done it as soon as she realized there was a possibility of a sexual relationship with Justice. She was normally more careful, but something about Justice made her reckless. Careless. You were careless with your life and that of a possible child’s life. That’s not acceptable.

  “You done beating yourself up yet?”

  “Not even close.” She looked up at the washing machines and dryers. She’d tossed her beer-soaked clothes and Justice’s shirt in one of those. She had no idea what was in the other machine, but it was making an ungodly racket.

  “You didn’t commit a crime, Liza. You both just made a human mistake. Tell him you’ll take the morning-after pill and get on birth control.”

  She sank back against the chair. “I lost control tonight. I didn’t even think about a condom.” When he talked to her, touched her, even snarled at her, she forgot to be careful. Justice Cade unleashed the wildness in her she’d been suppressing for years. She didn’t think of consequences.

  She was on the verge of disaster, teetering on a high rope and she’d just dropped her balancing pole.

  Was she careening out of control like her mom had?

  * * *

  Justice answered a string of texts on his phone and tried to keep his panic at bay. Liza had shot out of the apartment so fast they hadn’t had a chance to talk.

  Tossing his phone down, he wandered past the bar into her tiny kitchen. The refrigerator boasted a few yogurts, apples, some cheese, two eggs and Mountain Dews. After shutting that, he scrounged up a glass, filled it with water and drank it.

  Nope, still had a gut full of acid.

  He couldn’t have a kid. Liza would get that, right?

  You’re a rock star, man. What if she’s more like her mother than you think? Come on, Amber Ranger got knocked up and married. What if Beth…?

  He shook his head, dislodging the thought. That wasn’t Beth. She’d been honest, even telling him who she was. He just needed to get his head together, and they’d sort this out.

  A thick cloud of black, choking guilt hovered over him. He’d messed up twice tonight—first by not realizing Beth was in trouble soon enough at the restaurant and then forgetting a condom.

  How many chances would she give him?

  The door opened, and he was about to get his answer. He clinked the glass down and crossed the tiny apartment to drag her into his arms. He needed to feel her softness against him. His worry calmed. “We’ll figure this out. There’s a fair chance you’re not pregnant.”

  She stiffened, then pushed out of his arms. After adjusting her glasses, she said, “I already arranged to take care of it. I’m going to the clinic in the morning to get the morning-after pill.”

  Relief broke up some of the guilt cloud. “Okay, we’ll go together after we get up and have some breakfast.” How far could he stretch those two eggs? Or maybe he should run out and pick up some more eggs and bacon.

  “You don’t need to do that. Go home and sleep in. I’ll handle this myself and see you at the Sandcastle Contest.”

  A cold twang vibrated through him. He knew when he was getting his ass booted. “You want me to leave.” After they’d agreed to stay the night together. This wasn’t about her sleeping issues. She knew he’d crash on the couch. He just wanted her nearby.

  Liza dropped her gaze to his chest. “We need to slow down, step back. This is moving too fast. It’s not you—”

  “It’s me you’re throwing out.” His fuse lit. His adrenaline had gone into overtime since they’d gotten back to her apartment.

  “Justice, don’t make this harder.”

  Was she serious? “You want me to make it easy to dump me?”

  “I’m not. Damn it, I just need time to think. Take a break.” Going to the couch, she sank down as if she were too burdened to stand any longer. “I’m taking too many risks. I didn’t even think of a condom.” Her eyes lifted to his, wide, pleading and scared.

  “So you decided to quit instead of working together to solve problems?”

  “Slow down, that’s all I’m asking. Take a break, see how things go.” Clutching her phone, she added, “We’re getting in too deep.”

  Crossing to her, he glared down. “Only way I roll. I don’t take a break, Liza. I don’t slow down. When I want something, I go for it. All in. Unlike you.”

  Her chin wrenched up. “Meaning?”

  She’d started this fight, not him. “Exactly what I said. I want to sing, so I went for it. Every goddamned day I fight and claw, I put myself out there, front and center. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but I’m there. And you.” His chest tightened into a vicious knot, damn near choking him. “I wanted you. I went for it. But all you’ve done is wave caution flags, tell me how bad I am for you.” She’d eased that wall of constant loneliness that left him agitated and searching for more every waking second. But she wouldn’t battle for the chance to find out what they had together.

 
“All in? Is that what you’re calling it? You told me in the shower I didn’t need control. I let go, and now I might be pregnant.” She shot to her feet, her face infusing with anger. “I’m doing exactly what my mother did—dating a musician and making stupid decisions.”

  He curled his fingers into his palms to keep from touching her. The need made his muscles twitch and ache. “When I look at you, I see fire. Passion. When you let go, you fucking burn, your flames jetting into the sky. But you keep banking it, turning that fire into a bare spark. If that’s what you want, fine, live your careful life. Be a coward. Keep hiding. Don’t tell your family about your real dreams, your passions. Just do what they expect you to do.”

  “I told them I’m getting a communications degree and going into publicity. They wanted me to be an accountant.”

  “Crock of shit. You didn’t tell them you’re working for a rock band and trying to get the internship at Tangent. But that’s not the worst. I don’t even care that you’re hiding me. What really bugs me is that you hide your writing. I saw you sitting on my bed writing your book. You love it the way I love singing. And you hide it, afraid to own it and fight for it. Just like you’re afraid to fight for me, for what we could have together.”

  She drew back. “That’s not fair.”

  “It’s the truth. Things got a little scary with me, you’re feeling too much, and we forgot a condom. But instead of the two of us figuring it out, you’re doing the same thing you’ve done for years—you hide.” He shot his gaze to the shelf that held pictures. “You hide your mom, your writing, and your scars.”

  “You don’t know what it’s like. I don’t have anyone if my family cuts me out.” Tears welled in her eyes.

  It tore his damned heart out to see her cry. “You could have had me, Beth. I’m right here. But I’m too human for you.” He shoved his hand into his hair. “I screwed up, forgot a condom, stirred up some uncomfortable feelings, and you’re done.”

  Two huge tears spilled over her cheeks. “I’m not blaming you, I’m just…” She trailed off.

  It was unbearable to see her hurting and pushing him away at the same time. He strode to the door and turned back to her. Did she have to look so alone? Scared? It pissed him off more. Why couldn’t she just trust him? Believe in him? Just give him a fucking chance? “It feels that way to me. I tried to be supportive by wanting to take to you to the clinic, and you tell me to leave. How am I supposed to take that?”