French Toast (The French Twist Series Book 2)

by Glynis Astie

  I picked up the phone again, hoping this time my sanity would be saved. I dialed my mother’s store, praying she had a free moment. Since it was minutes past closing time, I might be able to catch her before she began cashing out the register.

  Just when I thought I was going to get the answering machine, I heard my father’s voice.

  “Duck!”

  I smiled at the sound of his voice. “Hey, Dad!” I tried to feign levity, but my lie couldn’t pass the massive lump in my throat.

  “What’s wrong? And don’t tell me ‘nothing.’ I know you.”

  I searched for the right words. “I....”

  “You’re worried about what Louis’ family is going to think of you.”

  I nodded, clearly oblivious that he couldn’t see me, while tears streamed down my face. Then came the hiccups. Way to be sophisticated, Sydney.

  “Duck.” His voice was very gentle. “You’ve always been such an anxious person. But, it’s OK; it’s part of your charm.” He chuckled softly.

  “Thanks, Dad.” Maybe this had been a bad idea...

  “Listen to your father.” He paused. “You’re a wonderful person. I’ve had the pleasure of watching you grow into an intelligent, funny and even, at times, confident young woman. Try not to worry so much about what they’ll think. Louis loves you; they will too. Or he’ll tell them where they can go.”

  I laughed through my tears. My dad had it right there. Even in his current state of stress, Louis wouldn’t tolerate rude comments of any kind when it came to me or any member of my family. He could become quite ill-tempered if he felt someone was mocking one of his “peeps” as he called them. I had observed this often enough during phone conversations when his father or one of his uncles told him an anti-American joke.

  “I know you’re right, Dad.” I sighed. “I can’t help feeling like I’m under a lot of pressure.”

  “From whom?” He asked.

  I thought about it. If I were really being honest...

  “From myself.” More tears spilled down my face. “I want to make Louis proud. I want his family to like me.”

  “Listen to me, Duck. They will LOVE you. Even if they can’t understand your horrible French accent. In fact, it might be a good thing they can’t understand you. Just stand there and look pretty.”

  I bit my lip. I knew exactly what he was doing. My dad was a master at making outrageous comments to snap me out of my craziness. Ninety-five percent of the time it worked. The other five percent, I went completely nuclear. Thankfully, this was part of the ninety-five percent. I still had my head in my hands, but had laughed myself silly.

  My father let out a sigh of relief. “There’s my girl.”

  Suddenly, I heard the front door of the apartment open. Crap! Louis was home and there was no way I would be able to put myself together before he saw me. He had been so on edge these days, I was afraid of how he might react if he saw me in this state of disarray.

  I cleared my throat. “Thanks, Dad. I needed a dose of sanity.”

  “That’s what fathers are for.”

  “I have to run. Louis just got home and I’m going to have some explaining to do about my current condition.” I took a deep breath. “Will you please tell Mom I love her and I’ll call her in the morning?”

  “Will do, Duck. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Dad. Oh, and please don’t tell Mom about my latest...episode. I don’t want her to worry.”

  “It’ll be our secret.”

  “Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.”

  “Don’t I know it!” My dad was always one to toot his own horn. It was one of his most annoying, yet endearing qualities.

  As I hung up, Louis opened the door to the bedroom. “Mon coeur, are you ready to....” He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. His face fell and he walked over to me.

  Damn. I was hoping he would stop to go through the mail before he came into the bedroom. I didn’t even have the chance to fix the damage to my blotchy face. I smiled as convincingly as I could. “How was your day?”

  He held my face in his hands. “Forget about me. What is going on? Why are you so sad?” Thank God he was in a decent mood today. He must be finding his rhythm at work. On a bad day, he could have just as easily left the apartment in a huff.

  I sighed. I could only imagine what I looked like right now. My makeup must have been smeared all over my puffy, tear-stained face.

  “I’m fine, Bluey. Only the usual dose of crazy.”

  He swept me into his arms and held me tightly. “Why do you do this to yourself?”

  As I inhaled his familiar scent, I felt like I could breathe for the first time in days. “Because I’m crazy. Duh.”

  He pulled out of the hug and gazed into my eyes. “Syd, I LOVE you. My parents are going to love you. The rest of my family is going to love you. Will you please stop worrying?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You may as well ask me to stop breathing.” Truth be told, I worried less since Louis had entered my life, but the current situation was much too stressful for me to keep my anxiety at bay. Crazy Sydney could not be kept dormant.

  Louis gave me a stern glare. “Seriously, mon coeur, you can’t put this much pressure on yourself. It is not healthy.”

  I let out a long breath. “You’re right. I…I really want to impress your family, the way you impressed mine.”

  Louis laughed. “Oh yes, they were so impressed with me, they thought I was marrying you for a green card.”

  I swatted the back of his head. “That wasn’t about you! It was about getting engaged after knowing each other for six weeks!”

  “My point is, their regard for me was not immediate. Please do your best to enjoy the visit.” He put his finger underneath my chin, smiling slightly. “You know, many women would be thrilled with a two week trip to France.”

  True, but many people wouldn’t be put through the wringer by his family in general and his mother in particular. Given his good mood, I decided to keep that thought to myself.

  I grinned at him. “I am looking forward to it.” Well, most of it. At least the parts where I would be alone with him…and eat pastries…ooh, and French chocolates…and drink wine.

  He tapped the tip of my nose. “Really? You are so convincing…”

  “Bluey! I really am looking forward to it! Especially to our time alone in Paris.” Louis had surprised me with a night in Paris, staying at the Georges V no less, on our way back to California. I figured he knew things wouldn’t be as easy for me as he was saying and he wanted a chance to calm me down before bringing me back home. But this was only a theory...

  Louis got up and began to take off his work clothes. “So, I talked to my mother today.”

  This explained his calming nature with me just now. He knew there was even more pain coming my way. I needed to sit down for this.

  I flopped down onto the bed. “Really? Has she added any other activities to our schedule?” Try as I might, I was not able to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

  His face gave nothing away. “Not any particular events; she only mentioned she would like you to spend some time with her in the kitchen.”

  I was suspicious of Louis’ decision not to block this request as he had often told me his mother wasn’t a very good cook. Was this simply more of the American daughter-in-law hazing process?

  I eyed him doubtfully. “OK. Does she want to cook anything in particular?”

  He smiled at me. “Well, she wants you to teach her how to bake chocolate chip cookies...”

  I instantly relaxed. Louis’ father had decided chocolate chip cookies were the epitome of American cooking and was eager to try them. Louis raved to his parents about how well I baked and it was time to put my money where my mouth was. I only hoped he hadn’t set them up for a big disappointment.

  “And...she wanted to show you how to cook a few traditional French dishes,” he added casually.

  Damn. I knew that was too easy. I had studied my Fr
ench books as much as possible during all the wedding planning, but I have to admit, I wasn’t able to focus as much as I would have liked. Aside from the vocabulary, the endless verb tenses and pronunciation issues, it was virtually impossible for me to master the exact accent of Louis’ region, which seemed to be necessary for his family’s comprehension. This appeared to be the case from my several botched phone conversations with his parents. Louis’ dad still asks if I enjoy wearing chickens for warmth in the winter. I’ll never live such a monumental pronunciation error down.

  Add to this the complete lack of knowledge of how to say anything relevant to this task in French other than fork and butter (and chicken/sweater); how was I going to deal with being alone with his mother in the kitchen? As these thoughts raced through my mind, I noticed Louis approaching me with concern.

  I stared back at him blankly. “What? Is something wrong?”

  He eyed me carefully. “Have you ever plucked a chicken?”

  I gaped at him and caught my breath. And then everything went black.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The following morning, Louis admitted his whole chicken joke was perhaps in poor taste. Instead of knocking me out of my bout of the crazies (his affectionate term for my insanity), it literally knocked me out. It took him five minutes to revive me from my fainting spell. That taught him a lesson about how to deal with Crazy Sydney. Joking is not an option...Crazy Sydney takes everything way too seriously. Unlike Normal Sydney who only takes everything moderately too seriously.

  When Louis and I left for work that morning, I resolved to relax and let everything go. It was unlikely I would succeed, but I had to try. We were leaving for the airport as soon as we got home from work and at this point, there was nothing else I could do to prepare. Louis had banned me from reading any French books on the plane and ordered me to look at nothing but trashy magazines - my favorite airplane fodder. It was a thirteen hour flight from San Francisco to Paris (not to mention the four hour layover, an additional two hour flight from Paris to Montpellier and an hour car ride to Louis’ hometown of Le Caylar), so I was looking forward to catching up on some actual reading as well. I had two new Chick Lit books from Kate I couldn’t wait to read. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a sucker for a romantic comedy.

  Why was I planning on so much activity? Wouldn’t sleep be a better way to avoid thinking about the impending French doom? This wasn’t really an option for me. Even though the flight left at seven, I knew I wouldn’t sleep much. I could never sleep on planes. It had nothing to do with fear (imagine that?), only discomfort. There was no leg room, the person in front of me ALWAYS put his/her seat back into my lap and I was simply unable to fall asleep in a barely reclined position.

  Louis, on the other hand, could sleep anywhere at any time of the day or night. A year in the French military had forced him to learn this ability quickly. This meant it would be a long and lonely trip for me, filled with opportunities to imagine the possibilities of the days ahead of me...in the clutches of my new family. Good times!

  The day passed quickly, and I suddenly found myself sending a few final emails to cover my workload while on vacation. As I was about to leave the office, my phone rang. I debated letting it go to voicemail, but worried it might be a question which needed to be answered before my long absence. I sighed heavily and reached for the phone.

  “Sydney Durand, how may I help you?”

  “It’s been seven months and I’m still not used to your new last name. I keep expecting you to say, ‘Sydney Bennett.’” My mom chuckled.

  I decided to gloss over how amusing it was that she couldn’t remember my new last name. She probably wouldn’t appreciate my sense of humor, since I was essentially laughing at her expense.

  “Mom! I’m so happy to hear your voice.” I sat down in my chair with a thud and felt an instant sense of relief. A few minutes with her would do a massive amount of good to my overwhelmed psyche.

  “I told you, Mom! You’re exactly what she needed.” Kate? Where did she come from?

  “Um...how is it you guys are both on the phone with me at the same time?” Had Kate gone to New York for a stopover before flying to France next week and forgotten to tell me? She was working on very little sleep, so anything was possible.

  Kate laughed. “Syd, haven’t you heard of conference calls?”

  “Of course, I have.” Duh. I always mess them up, since no one can write a phone manual which makes sense, but I know what they are! “I didn’t know either one of you had the technology.”

  My mom interjected. “The store has been so busy that we put in a second line. Your father thought it would be a good idea to include the conference feature.”

  I giggled. “I’m sure this is exactly what he had in mind.”

  Right on cue, my dad picked up another extension in the store and promptly started dialing. He always had the volume on the phone turned up really high (he still won’t wear his hearing aid) and the sound of the deafening beeps while he dialed the numbers was excruciating. Kate and I screamed, “Dad!” while my mom screamed, “Teddy!” He was notorious for picking up the phone and punching in numbers without checking for a dial tone first.

  “Hello?” My father queried.

  Kate jumped in, “Dad! We’re having a conversation here.”

  “Oh, hi, Katie. What are you and your mother talking about?”

  My mom sighed. “We’re trying to prepare Sydney for her flight to France.”

  “Duck is on the line? Duck! We covered this yesterday. You’re going to be fine.”

  Damn it, Dad! It was supposed to be our secret! You sold me out!

  My mom was becoming exasperated. “Teddy, your concern is appreciated, but this conversation is for the girls.”

  My dad did his usual mock whimpering routine. “Well, if you don’t need me.” He sniffled.

  I rolled my eyes, quite happy he couldn’t see me. “Dad, I love you. I heard you yesterday. And thank you very much for sharing our secret.” I sighed. “I know I’ll be fine, but it can’t hurt to have another pep talk, right? Every little bit helps.”

  “You girls have fun. I love you all. You’re nuts, but I love you.” After his gem of a comment, he quickly hung up the phone.

  My mom scoffed. “Well if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black...”

  Kate and I burst into giggles. Our family really was peculiar, but in a good way. I guess I should just embrace my genes of insanity and move on.

  Kate was the first to recover. “Syd, seriously, are you OK? Anyone would be stressed in this situation. You know that, right?”

  I thought about it for a moment. “For the time being, I’m holding it together. I’m trying to take things one day at a time. If I think about all the people and the events and the expectations, I start to have trouble breathing. I mean, what if I screw up?”

  My mom chuckled. “So what if you do? It’s highly unlikely you will, because you are, after all, Sydney Ben - I mean - Durand. But it won’t be the end of the world if you make a mistake. From what Louis has told me, his family is far from perfect. I doubt their expectations of you are anywhere near as high as the expectations you have for yourself. Please, give yourself a break, my darling.”

  Kate jumped in. “Mom’s right, Syd. You put far too much pressure on yourself. You have a wonderful husband who loves you. I know it’s been a rough few months, but you guys are on the right track now. This trip has the potential to be amazing. Give his family a chance to get to know you. They’ll absolutely adore you! And I bet you’ll adore them too.”

  Damn it, Kate. Why do you have to be right all the time? It was beyond annoying. I hadn’t realized in the process of my massive freak out, I was judging Louis’ family too harshly. I had assumed they would be waiting for me to fail, rather than helping me to succeed. It was high time I changed my perspective.

  I sighed. “I hope you’re right, Kate.”

  “I always am.” She was pretty smug for someone who
threatened to kill my husband over the accidental destruction of a stuffed pig. But that was beside the point.

  I glanced at the clock and discovered I would have to rush to get home on time. I had a few last minute items to pack before the car came to pick us up.

  I quickly gathered my belongings and said, “I love you both so very much, but I have to go. I didn’t realize it was so late.”

  “Have a good flight! We love you!” Kate yelled.

  My mom quickly interrupted. “Call us when you get in, please! I’ll worry until I know you’re safe.”

  I laughed. “I wonder where I got my anxious personality from? Thanks, Mom! I’ll call you when we get to Louis’ parents’ house.”

  I hung up the phone and ran for the door. The last thing I needed was to leave for the airport without doing a final luggage check. So what if I had already checked five times? I needed to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything important, like my intellect or my sanity. If only I could pack an extra set of each...

  Thankfully, I made it home with plenty of time to do my luggage check. Our car arrived on time and Louis and I had an easy time checking in at the airport. Just breathe, Sydney. So far, so good. To my surprise, I found myself starting to feel excited. All the wedding details had been taken care of. I had mentally prepared myself (as much as you can), for the pre-wedding activities and had resigned myself to the fact that I would most likely make a fool of myself once. OK, probably twice. Three times, tops. No big deal, right? It’s not like I haven’t humiliated myself before! At least I wouldn’t really understand the comments being made at my expense. Everything sounds good in French, doesn’t it?

  As we settled into our seats, I found myself smiling and humming to myself. Maybe Sydney Durand had finally learned to take herself less seriously. MAYBE Sydney Durand was going to have a great time in France.

  Louis turned to me suddenly. “Syd, I don’t want you to panic, but there is something I need to tell you about the ceremony. There is something my mother would like you to do for her...”

  Then again, maybe not.