Ryan has verbal offers from Notre Dame and NC State. Brian has at least three verbal offers, including Bama, which is also a school that has been courting MC, big time. MC has more offers than I can count. Penn is interested in all of us, but because there are other offers on the table, nothing is locked. I can’t imagine not being with the guys every day. Regardless, it could happen, so we need to make this trip count.
Mark, Brian, Ryan, and I are all rooming together. Tonight is going to be epic, drinking and skiing, but not in that order.
“Night ski!” Brian comes waltzing into our cabin. “Who needs state when we’ve got the senior ski trip, baby!” Brian is already slurring his words. I know he doesn’t blame me for state, but the words still sting.
“Whoa there, you need to slow down,” Ryan says, prying the Solo cup from Brian’s hand.
“Here, eat this.” Mark shoves half of his sub sandwich at Brian. “You need a base, or you’ll never make it through the night.”
I shake my head and laugh at the three of them. I love these guys. I wouldn’t trade this for the world.
***
Somehow, the party ended up in our cabin, where it’s wall to wall people. We haven’t actually made it to the slopes yet tonight, and at this point, I’m not sure we’re going to.
“I love you, man.” Brian drapes his arm around me and pulls me into a head lock. Then he does a chin nod across the room. I follow his gaze to Blythe. “And I love my girl, too. A girlfriend; who would have thought?” He leans in and says lower, “I’m head over heels for that girl.” And now I know he’s wasted because he’s never this open.
I unwrap his arm from my shoulder and try to help him stand up straight. “So much for the base,” I say with a smile.
“What? I’m good.”
“Right.”
Mark catches my look from across the room, reading it perfectly. He’s currently all over Amanda, a cute girl who has always been more interested in running track than guys, until tonight it seems. She’s currently very interested in Mark as she is equally all over him. He whispers something to her, and I see her smile then plant herself on the couch. Mark pushes through the crowd to get to Blythe, whispers something in her ear, and then they both make their way over to me and Brian who is now singing the National Anthem. I’m not sure why. Then he abruptly stops as if a new thought just entered his brain.
“Come on, we’re going to miss the night ski,” he says to the three of us, pouting like a three-year-old.
“Um … You’re not going anywhere,” Blythe intercepts as she wraps her arms around him.
I give Mark a smile. We both know she’s the only one he will listen to at this point.
“Come on, baby; don’t you want to go down my slope?” he asks in what I think was intended to be a whisper as he gyrates his hips in her direction.
Blythe throws her head back and laughs. Then she takes his hand and starts to lead him toward the bedrooms. She looks back and winks at me and Mark.
“Our job here is done,” Mark says.
We both give each other a head nod with a smile before he makes his way back to meet up with Amanda, who has been patiently waiting for him on the couch.
I start to miss Ash, but quickly shake it off as I make my way over to Ry, who’s across the room with Gretch and a few other people. Before I know it, Rebecca steps in front of me, blocking my path, and it’s clear she’s had almost as much as Brian.
“Hi, Todd.” She runs her hand down my chest.
“Hi, Rebecca,” I say flatly as I remove her hand.
“You know what?” she says, looking up at me. “I miss kissing you.” Then her fingers start to trace the buttons of my shirt.
I merely smile and try to push past her, but she’s surprisingly quick for someone who has had too much to drink.
“You. Are. A. Very. Good. Kisser.” She moves her fingers up from button to button on each word.
“Uh … Thanks?” I remove her hand again.
“You know, it’s too bad your girlfriend wasn’t allowed to come since she’s not a senior. What is she, a freshman? Oh, wait”—she waves her hand in the air—“she’s your ex-girlfriend, right?”
I press my lips together. I would never hit a girl, but right now, I wish Rebecca was a guy so I could cold cock her.
“Girlfriend. No ex. She’s my girlfriend, and you know that.” I try to contain my frustration, but it’s not really working. I’m so done with this girl, done being nice. Just done.
“We were really good together.” She smiles like she wants to do so much more than talk, making my stomach start to turn. “In the play, I mean.”
“Hey, Todd, can I talk to you?” I glance with relief in the direction of the voice. I could kiss Blythe right now.
“Sure. See you later, Rebecca,” I say with a quick smile while I pry her hands off my waist.
“Thank you,” I say quietly to Blythe as I approach her.
“You looked like you needed saving.” She smiles. “Brian is sound asleep.”
“Good. Thanks for that, too.”
“Anytime.”
We both join Ryan’s group who are all standing around the make-shift bar that has been set up on the kitchen counter. After an hour or two, most of the party has cleared out. Other than our core group, there are just a few guys from the team left. I am definitely feeling whatever drink Blythe has been making for us. I’m relaxed for the first time in months. This is exactly what I needed. I’m numb with joy, and it feels good. Being here makes me excited for college where there are no parents to hold you back from anything, to tell you what to do or who to date.
“Hey, where’s Brian?” Rick, one of the guys on the team, shouts from across the room.
“Yeah, where is that pansy?” someone else shouts. “I thought we were doing a night ski? What the fuck?”
“There’s no way you can ski right now,” Mark says as he slams back another shot.
“Who says?” Ryan jumps down from the countertop. Ryan is always the voice of reason, so maybe he’s right. Maybe we can.
“I’m pretty wasted,” Mark says with a pride-filled grin.
“Brian is asleep, and you’re all too wasted to go skiing,” Blythe says from behind the bar. “I know, because I’ve been making drinks for you guys from this ridiculous concoction of alcohol you have here.”
“Hey, it’s not like we can just walk into a liquor store and choose whatever we want.”
“Speak for yourself,” Mark interjects.
“Then where is it, slick? This is whatever we could sneak in,” Adam says.
“Hey, I’m not complaining.” Mark holds his hands up in surrender, spilling some of his drink down the front of his shirt.
“Point made.” Blythe smiles. “You are all too drunk to go tonight.”
“I’m going to wake Brian up.”
“Oh, no, you’re not, Adam.” Blythe steps in front of him, and I see Mark straighten like he’s ready to tackle him.
“No need. I’m up.” We all turn around to see Brian standing there fully dressed in his ski pants and jacket, skis in hand. “Let’s go.”
“It’s not a good idea, Bri. We need chaperones to ski,” Blythe says calmly.
“Please. Who says? We’re all practically eighteen. Some of us are eighteen.” He looks over at Mark who thrusts his arms up in the air in acknowledgment. “Mark can be our chaperone.”
“You know what I mean,” Blythe says, stepping forward.
“Come on, baby. This is our senior ski trip. You only get one.” Then he looks at Adam. “Well, Rogers might get two.”
“Fuck you!” Adam shouts back with a smile.
“You wish.” Brian smiles back.
“Hey, hey, two-year-olds. No one is going skiing,” Blythe says a little louder, getting everyone’s attention.
“Watch me. Get your skis. Slopes in ten minutes!” Brian shouts to the room.
Every part of my brain agrees with Blythe, but I know I can’t let
them go without me. I can’t miss this, and someone needs to look out for Brian.
“MC?” Brian asks at his hesitation.
“Fine. I’m in,” Mark says. “I mean, you need a chaperone, right?”
“Baby?” He runs his hands over Blythe’s hips as he pulls her closer.
Blythe shakes her head. “You’re an idiot, but I love you.” She kisses him. “Fine, I’ll go.”
“That’s my girl.” He kisses her back then yells out to the rest of the room, “Ten minutes!” He glances over and sees Ryan and Gretch on the couch, oblivious to the new plan. “Taylor, remove yourself from Gretchen and get your damn skis.” He smiles and ducks to avoid the pillow Ryan chucks at him, and then we all start to depart to get our gear.
***
Once the cold air hits me, I feel invincible. As much as I know Brian sometimes has bad ideas, this isn’t one of them.
I’m with Mark on the lift, and up ahead, couple after couple is making out as we ride up the mountain.
Mark turns to me. “Want a go, Hamilton? I always thought you were pretty.” He leans in and then cracks a smile.
“You’re an ass.” I smack him in the head.
“Come on, everyone else is doing it.” He then shouts at the top of his lungs, “Oh, Todd! Stop! You’re so big and strong!”
I’m laughing so hard I can’t catch my breath, although I have now scooted as far over on the other side of our chair as humanly possible.
“Oh, Todd!” he continues to shout as we reach the drop off.
We both jump off to a crowd of our friends waiting. The guys are hooting and hollering, and the girls all have their arms crossed with disgusted looks on their faces, but they’re still smiling.
“Way to keep a low profile,” Blythe says, trying to hide her laugh.
“I’m sorry; it’s just so hard to contain myself when I’m around Hamilton!” Mark shouts, now gathering attention from other passersbys.
Rick and Adam are the last of our group, and as they approach the drop off, Adam shouts, “I’m riding with Hamilton next!”
“Don’t you know it!” I wink at Adam.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Mark jumps on my back. “He’s mine.”
“Keep it moving, guys!” Ryan shouts back to us. He is already up at the starting position.
We finally meet up with the rest of the group while Mark continues to “fight” with Adam over me. We practically have the slopes to ourselves. We all put our headphones in before we push off. I’m blasting Fall Out Boy.
As we push off, I’m reminded of how much I love to ski. The rush of the speed is exhilarating, freeing. I have never skied at night, which turns out to be incredible. The lights are glistening off the pristine surface of the snow, and the sky is filled with stars. I didn’t even know this many stars existed. At home, we must only see a third of these. There are more sparkling stars than deep blue sky. It’s an entire sky of stars.
I’m in deep concentration on the bends, curves, and bumps left from other skiers. I am one with this course. I have never felt so alone yet so surrounded by friends in my life. My body feels the bends and turns, and I start to anticipate them. I’ve never skied this run before, but it’s like my body has. I no longer feel the cold; instead, I’m working up a sweat. I’m so glad we did this. Once again, Brian was right.
Up ahead, I see something blocking the path. It’s hard to make out because, even though the course is well lit, it’s still dark out. As I get closer, I see it’s moving, but not fast enough, and I know I need to swerve or I’m going to run right into it. Without even reading what’s to the right of me, I swerve on instinct, and my ski catches something. I don’t have time to think.
I’m on the ground at full speed. The control I had a second ago is lost, and I’m on my side, being dragged through the powdery soft snow from the sheer gravity of the slope. I can’t stop myself. I don’t even see the marker until my leg slams into it.
Searing pain slices through my right leg. Fuck. I instantly know it’s bad. It’s like my soul knows.
“Todd!” I hear Ryan’s voice cut through all the other noise. Somehow, he ended up behind me. I don’t know where I am, but I know I can’t move.
“Don’t move him!” I hear Ryan again.
“Oh, my God,” I hear Gretchen saying over and over.
“Gretch, do you have your phone?” Ryan asks.
“Shit, man. I’m so sorry,” I hear Mark. “I thought it was a good idea to sit down. I was going too fast,” he’s saying to someone else, but I’m not sure who. It was Mark on the slope I almost ran into.
I hear Ryan’s voice again, closer now. “Todd?” he keeps repeating my name.
I open my eyes, not even realizing they were closed.
“Oh, thank God,” Ryan says quickly, mostly under his breath. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I try to say, but I’m having a hard time forming words. “It’s my leg.”
I see the look on his face as soon as realization sinks in, and then he quickly erases the panic for my sake and goes into automatic lifeguard mode.
“I called the ski desk for help,” Gretch says as she makes her way over to us through the snow. “They’re sending a rescue team up.”
“It’s marker seventeen,” I hear Blythe coming up, and then Brian is in my face.
“Todd? Todd, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m great,” I say, though my voice sounds off. I don’t like the way it sounds, as if it’s verifying something is wrong.
“It’s his right leg,” Ryan says. From his tone, I know the look he just gave Brian.
“Shiiiit,” I hear Brian, but he’s farther away now.
I’m in so much pain I can’t move. I know it’s bad. I’m trying to put on a brave face, but I know what this means. I don’t need Ryan to try to protect me from reality. Broken leg equals broken future.
“Is everything okay?” I hear a voice I don’t recognize.
“Yeah, we called for help,” Gretchen answers, surprisingly in control. Maybe she’s more like Ryan than I ever realized.
“Why don’t you guys head down? We’ll stay here with him until help gets here,” Ryan says to the rest of our crew.
“I’m staying!” Brian barks back in a tone I recognize; there’s no use arguing with him.
“Okay, everyone is gone; it’s just us.”
I look up to see Ryan, Gretch, Brian, and Blythe all staring down at me.
“It’s going to be okay, Todd,” Blythe and Gretchen say over each other.
Regardless, I can see it all over Ryan and Brian’s faces; they know the truth.
Nothing is okay.
ASHLEY
Sid is on a date with Simon, so it’s just me and Shane tonight. Since Shane and Johnny are still “just friends” and we’re both feeling lonely, we decided to have a wallow-in-our-sorrows old school movie night. We rented every John Hughes movie we could think of and are camped out in my family room. Thankfully, we have a TV in the basement, so my dad can still watch college playoff games.
I can tell my dad misses Ryan, because he keeps coming up to give us the scores. I don’t think he’s figured out that Shane couldn’t care less. Each time my dad leaves the room, Shane gives me a look, making it clear he has no idea what my dad is talking about, but he’s nice enough to pretend to seem interested.
When the house phone rings, my dad shouts out to us from the kitchen, “I’ve got it.”
Then I hear him say Ryan’s name, and his tone changes, capturing my attention.
“How bad?” he asks. “I see ... Right... Okay ... I’ll tell her … Okay … Tonight? Which hospital?”
My heart drops into my stomach as I quickly sit up, startling Shane who’s obliviously engrossed in the movie.
“What?” he mouths to me, but I hold up my finger, trying to listen.
“I think Ryan is in the hospital,” I say in a low voice.
I can’t catch my breath. My heart is slamming in my chest as a milli
on thoughts fly through my head. Not again!
Shane instantly sits up straighter, and then we both strain to hear what’s happening in the kitchen. As we do, Shane’s hand finds mine on the couch, and he squeezes it. I’m so glad he’s here.
“Okay ... Surgery? … Yes, I have the address. It will probably take us two or three hours to get up there.”
Shane squeezes my hand even tighter, while I feel my throat constrict with a hard swallow.
“I need to go find out what happened, but I don’t want to,” I whisper as I push my tears back. “Maybe it’s nothing.” It doesn’t sound like nothing, though.
Shane’s grip tightens. “I’ll go with you,” he says, getting up and pulling me with him.
“Wait.” I pull him back. “Tell me about Johnny. What’s going on with him?” I ask, desperate to avoid walking into my kitchen.
Shane just looks at me with a you’re-not-fooling-anyone look. “You already know about Johnny. He kisses me, and I kiss him, and he doesn’t want anyone else to know. Complete one-eighty. Now, let’s go. You need to know what’s going on, and you need to find out sooner rather than later, so get up.”
All I can do is sigh and follow.
As we get closer to the kitchen, I feel like my heart is going to swallow up my lungs. I don’t say anything; I just stand in the kitchen doorway as my eyes meet my dad’s. He doesn’t say anything, either, but the look on his face says it all.
“What happened to Ryan?” I barely get the words out. I don’t want to hear the answer to that question, but I also know I need to hear it.
“It’s not Ryan.”
Relief floods me.
“It’s Todd.”
Wait, what?
“That was Ryan. He said Todd got into a skiing accident, and we should come up.”
I shut my eyes and feel the tears slip out and down my cheeks. I can’t say anything. I’m not supposed to care. The world goes into slow motion. Time stops. My heart stops. Everything stops.
“Ashley?” I hear Shane’s voice, feel his hand rubbing my back, but I can’t respond.
“How bad?” Shane asks. He’s no stranger to tragedy, and it shows. He’s calm and collected, while I am a mess, but I’m so grateful for him asking the question I couldn’t bring myself to ask. I know I’m not supposed to care in front of my dad, but I can’t hide it.
Unbreakable (Accidental Crush #3) Page 18
