“They don’t know yet. They’re taking him to the hospital, but they think he might need surgery.”
“I need to be there, Dad,” spills out. No more games. I don’t care if we are supposed to be broken up; I need to be with him.
“I know,” is all my dad says.
Before I know it, we are in my dad’s blue Volvo station wagon, making the two and half hour drive up there. My mom decided to stay home, so it’s just my dad and me. This shouldn’t be awkward at all.
Shane made me promise to keep him updated. He’s already texted three times, and it’s only been ten minutes. I love him for trying to keep me sane. I texted Sid, but there is still no response from her. I don’t even know if she knows yet, so I’ve kept my texts very vague.
We drive in silence until my dad finally breaks it.
“Is that Todd’s?” My dad’s eyes land on the ring on my finger. I didn’t even realize I have been nervously running my thumb over it since we got in the car. I forgot to take it off, not that I even want to pretend that I don’t care about him at this point.
“It is,” I say, keeping my eyes on the road ahead of us.
“It’s nice,” my dad says softly.
Oh, my God. It must be so much worse than he told me. I just need to see him. I need to talk to him. I wish Ryan or Sid would answer my text messages.
“What do you know that you’re not telling me, Dad? How bad is it?”
He inhales deeply, and there is a long pause. Too long.
“I honestly don’t know, Ashley, but it’s his right leg. They think it’s broken, and he’s going to need surgery.”
I feel a grapefruit-sized lump in my throat. I have no idea how I’m even still breathing.
I look at the GPS, seeing it says there is one hour and forty-five minutes left in our trip.
Dad continues, “I also know you two are together and that you never really broke up. I know you love him, and he apparently loves you. Ryan made sure I told you, and he made me bring you up. He said Todd wanted to make sure you knew and that you were okay.”
He takes another deep breath. “He’s the one injured, and he’s more concerned about you. That tells me a lot, Ashley, aside from the fact that you deliberately disobeyed your mom and me. I know he really cares about you.
“Listen, I’ve known Todd almost his whole life, and I’ve always loved him like a son, just not as much as I love my daughter.” He squeezes my knee. “I just don’t want to lose my little girl, and I hated that I was losing you. I saw it happening, and I wanted to control it, make it stop, but I realize now that I can’t. Instead, I’m just pushing you away, and that isn’t going to make it stop; it’s only going to make me lose you faster. I hate that you’ve pulled away from your mom and me these last few months. I love you, kiddo. And ultimately, I want you to be happy. And if Todd makes you happy, then who am I to stop that?”
I don’t know what to say. For the first time, I can see my dad’s side of everything.
He gives me a quick glance and a smile.
“Thank you, Dad,” I say as my tears start to spill out again. Only, this time, they are tears of joy through the pain and fear. No more secrets, no more sneaking around, no more hiding. “He’s such a good person, Dad.”
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s not get too carried away. I mean, there are still rules, and there will be consequences when those rules are broken.”
“What about his parents? Do you think they’ll be okay with it?” I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“I’m sure they’ll come around.” My dad squeezes my knee again before he brings his hand back to the steering wheel.
My phone buzzes with a message from Ryan. Finally.
They just took him back for x-rays. How close are you?
1 ½ hours. How bad is it, Ry?
Pretty bad. It’s his right leg. Mr. & Mrs. H. just got here with Sid.
Almost at the same time, I feel my phone buzz again. It’s Sid.
Ryan says you’re coming. How long?
1 ½ hours.
That’s so long. I need you.
Hang in there. Keep me updated.
I will.
Then I text Ryan back.
LMK what you find out.
I will.
RYAN
I can’t believe this happened. I can’t believe we are back in a hospital again. I think we all quickly sobered up as soon as the accident happened. Luckily, the chaperones were so startled I don’t think any of them noticed alcohol was involved. It was close, though. Too close, and now Todd’s in the hospital.
Dammit! What were we thinking?
I can’t stop pacing, and I can’t bring myself to look Mr. and Mrs. H. in the eye. This is all our faults.
“Hey.” Brian falls in line next to me and joins my pacing. “He didn’t look good.”
“I know.”
“What do you think this means for his scholarship offers?”
“I don’t know, but it’s not good. I mean, it’s his kicking leg.”
Brian squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. “I know. This is all my fault. I’m the one who said we should go.”
“It’s everyone’s fault. We didn’t need to follow you, you know. We can say no to the great Brian Johnson.”
He looks at me and smiles sadly. “Thanks for that, but I’m taking this one.” Brian gestures with his chin in the direction of Todd’s parents. “His dad called the Penn scout to tell him what happened, and I think the coach just called his dad back. The Penn team doc is talking to the doctors here.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, we just ruined everything. I mean, the three of us have offers from them. We were supposed to all be together. We’ve been saying that since we were kids, and it was actually coming true, and then bam! it’s all over, because of me.”
“Stop it. You don’t know that yet,” I hear Blythe’s southern drawl as she and Gretch come up to join us.
The waiting room is packed with our entire crew from the slopes, and a few other people are trickling in as word spreads. It’s pretty late, so most people won’t find out until the morning.
“His dad just said they are still taking x-rays, and we’ll know more after that, but the doctor said, with breaks like this, they’ll most likely need to prep him for surgery,” Blythe updates us since she was sitting close enough to eavesdrop.
When I look over to see Sidney sitting by herself, I realize I wouldn’t want Ash to be alone if the roles were reversed, so I walk over to sit by her.
“Hey, Sid.”
She looks up and quickly wipes at her eyes. It’s clear she’s been crying. I wrap my arm around her since she looks like she needs this right now.
“He’s going to be okay.”
She closes her eyes. “I hope you’re right.” Then she opens them, and her eyes lock with mine. “It’s just … everything always comes so easily for him. I never worry about him. Ever. I mean, everything always just falls right into place. It’s been like that his entire life. And I guess I never thought anything bad would happen, like he’s invincible. But he’s not, you know?”
I just smile. “Yeah. I do know. It’s never Todd. He’s always the rock, and I don’t think any of us know what to do without him being the rock.”
She lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, exactly. Ashley just needs to get here.”
I nod my head in agreement then lean back in my chair as my hand strokes her shoulder. We are in for a long night.
Chapter 17: The Results
ASHLEY
As we pull into the hospital parking lot, my legs start shaking so badly I’m not even sure I can walk on them, but I somehow manage. There has been radio silence other than the occasional text from Sid checking to see how close we are and the constant texting from Shane with words of encouragement, but I don’t count those.
“You okay?” Dad asks as he wraps his arm around my shoulder.
I look up at him and give him a half smile.
&nbs
p; As soon as we walk through the emergency room doors, I see all of Todd’s friends lining the walls, and then my eyes land on Ryan. Without even thinking about the fact that the emergency room is filled with the entire senior class, I run up and hug my brother.
“Thank you so much for calling and talking to Dad.”
“Ash, a little tight,” he says, clearly winded from my death grip.
“Sorry.” I look up at him as I loosen my hold, but I’m not ready to let go yet. “Did you see him? How is he?”
“No, his parents and Sid are in there now. He just got back from x-rays, but no results yet. I think they have to prep him for surgery.” Ryan’s eyes shift to the ground, and my stomach turns over with butterflies, not the good kind.
“Ashleeeeey.” I feel her arms squeezing me before I see her.
“Sid, how is he?” I ask as my eyes connect with hers. I can immediately tell she’s been crying; her eyes are bloodshot.
“He’s good,” she says with an overly large smile.
“How is he, really?”
“A mess.” Her whole body releases the façade as she slumps down, letting tears spill down her cheeks. “Sorry.” She wipes her tears away with the back of her hand.
Ryan rubs her back and smiles at my questioning look. “Sid and I bonded.”
“Okaay?” I smile, appreciating the distraction until I see Todd’s parents come around the corner.
My dad immediately walks up to them, hugging Mrs. H., and then he shakes Mr. H.’s hand. I see them all glance over in our direction and my stomach sinks even farther. At this point, it’s pooling around on the floor beneath my feet.
My dad’s eyes meet mine, and he gestures for me to come over. I instinctively look at Ryan. After all, he is Todd’s best friend and should know what’s happening first. He gives me a smile and mouths, “Go,” as he gently nudges me in their direction.
While I approach our parents, there are a million things I want to say. I have an entire speech planned on how Todd is good for me, that he pushes me to be a better person in every way: swimming, school, life. I have been mentally rehearsing it for the entire trip up here, and now I just need to say it calmly so they can see I have really thought this through.
“I-love-him-and-I-need-to-see-him,” comes out as one, long, hysterical sentence. So much for calm and collected.
Mrs. H.’s lips turn up in a sincere smile, and she reaches her hand out to gently stoke my arm. “We know, Ashley. Todd said the exact same thing.” She gives a small laugh at the irony. Then she looks back and forth between my dad and Mr. H. “We were young once; we just forgot what it’s like.” She turns back to me. “We’re sorry we’ve tried to keep you apart for so long, and we’re sorry it took this to make us realize it.” Her smile falters, but her eyes stay on mine. I see the concern in them for Todd, the same concern I hate seeing in my parents’ eyes when one of us is hurt. “I’ll point you in the direction of his room.”
I don’t know what to say, so I just smile at her and our dads. “Thank you,” I say low to all of them.
After my dad gives me a nod and a smile, I look back at Ryan and Sid, and they both give me a discreet thumbs up.
Wow, this is all so unexpected and so easy, too easy.
Todd’s mom has her arm wrapped around me as she guides me through the emergency room hallways. I can’t believe they apologized to me, but before I can relish in my joy, I’m standing outside of Todd’s hospital room door and reality sinks back in as to why we are all here.
“Go ahead.” She gestures toward the door. “He’s been waiting to see you.” She smiles.
“Thanks, Mrs. H.,” I tell her then open the door.
There he is, just as gorgeous as always. He’s got an IV attached to his arm, and his leg is in what looks like a large, wooden box without a top. I hate seeing him like this, yet I love seeing him.
My eyes drink him in, all of him. It’s been too long, and I have missed him so much. I didn’t even realize there was an ache without him until it’s gone now that I’m with him.
“Hi.” My voice is small. I want it to be stronger for him, but it’s not.
“Hi.” He tries to sit up a little straighter, and the movement makes him wince with pain, but he masks it with a smile.
“What’s with you boys and hospitals?” I try to joke.
He laughs and then squeezes his eyes shut before he quickly regains his composure.
“Last I recall, it was you in the hospital.” He gives me that crooked smile, the one that tells me no matter what happens. He’s still the Todd I fell in love with. I am in love with.
“Well, you’ve got me there.”
“Come here.” He pats the space next to him on the bed. I didn’t even realize I was still standing by the door. “I won’t bite.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, I might.” He gives me a mischievous smile as I approach his bed.
“How are you?” I ask, ignoring the obvious. Duh, he’s in the hospital.
“I’ll be better when you’re right here.” He pats the spot right next to him on the bed again. Then he reads my questioning look perfectly. “It’s fine, Ash. Really.”
I want so badly to be next to him, to touch him, so I don’t hesitate to jump up on his bed. My motion causes the bed to move, and he inhales deeply, reaching for his leg.
“I’m so sorry. I knew this was a bad idea.”
“This was a great idea.” He smiles through the pain as he slides his arm behind me, guiding me so my head is lying on his chest. “I feel better already.”
Rising and falling with his steady breathing is the best feeling in the world. I close my eyes to cherish it because I don’t know how much longer we have alone.
His other hand reaches for my hand, and I see a large, plastic thing attached to his finger. “What’s this?”
“It’s monitoring my heart.” His eyes move over to a screen behind his bed, yet another reminder of where we are.
“What did the doctors say?”
“Well, not much yet. They want to get all the facts before they speculate.” From the way he says it, I know he’s repeating their exact words. His frustration is clear.
“They are still prepping me for surgery, though, without the facts.” His anger seeps through his words. “Therefore, minimal pain medicine until they know more.”
“Good thing you’re so tough.” I trace the outline of his defined chest through his T-shirt.
“Yeah.” He gives a small chuckle. “You know what I realized?”
“What?” I continue to run my fingers over the contours of his chest.
“You never really know how much you want something until you lose it. For so long, I hated my dad for pushing me to go to football camps or to try to get a scholarship, but now that it’s over”—he shakes his head—“I realize I really wanted it, not my dad. That was just a good cover for me not to get too attached to the idea, but now that it’s actually over, I want it more than anything. I guess I’ve always loved it. It’s funny, now that it’s too late.” He sighs deeply as he lays his head back on the pillow.
“Stop it. You don’t know that. It’s not too late. You haven’t even heard from the doctor yet. Let him tell you. Until then, you need to stop talking like that.”
His hand traces mine as it rests on his stomach. “You’re wearing it,” he says, running his finger over his class ring.
“Of course,” I say with a smile.
“Did your dad say anything?”
“Well, our secret is out.”
“Yeah, I figured since you’re here. I guess there is one good thing about all of this.” He gives a small laugh. “I’m so glad he drove you up. I don’t think I could do this without you.”
I lift myself up to look into his gorgeous, crystal blue eyes, careful not to bump his leg, but I need to really look at him when I say this.
“I love you, no matter what. You know that, right?”
I see a little of his stress,
pain, and anger melt away. “I love you, too. Thank you for coming.”
The door to his room opens, and in walks a distinguished-looking man with salt and pepper hair who is close to my dad’s age. He’s wearing a tie and an open lab coat over his button-down shirt. He walks with an air of importance. This must be Todd’s doctor.
Todd’s parents come in behind him.
I immediately start to get up, but Todd squeezes my hand and pulls my arm back. “Stay,” he whispers to me.
Once they are all in the room, the doctor clears his throat as his eyes land on me in the bed. I can’t tell if he’s angry or amused.
“Well, we have the results.”
“I should probably go.” I try to release my grip from Todd’s, but he certainly hasn’t lost the strength in his hands.
“Yes. That’s a good idea,” Mrs. H. says. Not in a malicious way, but it’s obvious she’s on edge and anxious to hear the results.
“No. She stays,” Todd says firmly, pulling me back toward him.
When the doctor looks at Todd’s parents for their permission since the results are confidential, his dad gives Todd a look, but he knows his son won’t back down.
“It’s fine,” he says as he gives a small head nod.
All of our eyes quickly shift and are now laser-focused on the doctor. He clears his throat again and turns on the mounted lightbox behind him as he places Todd’s x-rays on it.
“It’s a pretty incredible break.” He points to a bone that is clearly broken on the film. “It’s an enclosed, mid-shaft tibia fracture, as we suspected, but it’s almost a perfect break. Clean and straight through, no displacement.”
“Which means?” Todd’s dad jumps in.
“No surgery, no pins or plates, and a much faster recovery time.”
“How about football?” Todd asks. It’s clear that was the question his dad was about to ask by his vigorous head nod.
“I’ve already spoken to the Penn State doctor and emailed him the x-rays. We both agree there will most likely be six to eight weeks in a full leg cast, which will be non-weight bearing.” He gives Todd a stern look. “And then, with intensive physical therapy, you’ll have full mobility and be back to new and ready for late spring, early summer training.”
Unbreakable (Accidental Crush #3) Page 19
