At her startled cry he rolled onto his side and reached for her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just... There it is again! Zeke, I just felt the baby move!”
Chapter Eighteen
Tess lay as quietly as possible but her heart was beating so fast with excitement that she was trembling. Gently she rested her hand on her stomach. “He moved,” she murmured. “I felt this fluttery feeling, and then I felt it again.”
“You’re sure that’s what it was?” Zeke propped himself on one elbow and leaned over her. “What if something’s wrong? What if our lovemaking caused a problem with the baby?”
“I seriously doubt that. All my reading told me that sex would be fine, especially at this stage, but yesterday I called my obstetrician to be absolutely sure. She gave me the go-ahead.”
“You told her we were having sex?”
“She’s my doctor. She has to know everything.”
“Everything?” He sounded horrified.
“If you’re asking if I give her a detailed description of our activities, the answer is no, but we did discuss positions.”
“Dear God.”
She smiled. “I guess it’s a good thing I’m having this baby and not you, huh?”
“Yes, ma’am. A very good thing. I can’t imagine how I’d—”
“There! He did it again.” She grabbed Zeke’s hand and put it on her stomach. “Let’s see if you can feel him.”
He hovered over her, his hand resting on her belly. Nothing happened.
“Maybe he went back to sleep.”
“Maybe.” He began stroking her stomach. “You have the softest skin.”
“Don’t give up. And keep your hand still. If you move around, you’ll miss it.”
“It’s just that I love touching you.”
“And I’m rather fond of having you touch me. But right now I—oh! Did you feel that?”
“Yes! Yes, I did!” He sucked in a breath. “There it is again. That’s him. That’s Heath.”
“It is. I know it is. According to my research, this happens a little later with most new moms, but this is exactly how the books described the sensation.”
“So he’s precocious before he’s even born.”
She smiled. “Guess so.”
“Does it hurt you when he does that?” He rested his hand on her stomach in a protective gesture.
“Not now. My doctor said when he gets bigger it can be uncomfortable if he decides to practice his soccer moves in there, especially at night. She said I might have some nights when it’s hard to sleep.”
“I’m sure.” He leaned down toward her stomach. “Hey, Heath, buddy. Take it easy on your mom, okay? Don’t be kicking her at three in the morning.”
“He must have heard you. He’s quiet now.”
“They do hear what’s going on around them. I read that last night.” He glanced up at her. “I want him to recognize my voice.”
“Mmm.” That made her heart hurt. She planned to spend most of the pregnancy in Casper getting her day care up and running. He had an obligation to be here at Matt’s and then on the rodeo circuit. Heath wouldn’t be listening to his dad’s voice much.
“I hadn’t thought about how you’d deal with sleeping as he grows. Do you normally sleep on your stomach?”
“You haven’t noticed?”
“No, ma’am.” He chuckled. “In all the hours we’ve been in bed together, I don’t remember much sleeping going on.”
Neither did she. “I’m used to lying on my stomach, but I’ve been practicing sleeping on my side.”
“I can help with that.”
“You have some sort of trick?”
“Yes, ma’am. It’s called spooning.”
“That sounds great except that in a couple of nights I’ll be in Casper without a spooning partner.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Look, I know you have to go back eventually, but why not stay here a little longer so I can help you practice sleeping on your side? What’s the rush to get back?”
“I didn’t pack enough clothes, for one thing.”
“I have a washer and dryer. Or rather, Matt does and I have use of it while I’m here.”
“Thank you for the offer, but it’s more than running out of things to wear. I’m impatient to turn in my resignation at school and get the paperwork started to open my day care. I want to have it going strong by the time Heath is born.”
“Who’ll run it while you’re having the baby?”
“If I can get enough clients to justify an assistant, I’ll train her to fill in during that time. I don’t plan to be unavailable for long, anyway. But none of that will happen unless I get my act together now. Every day that I delay could mean losing potential clients to another service.”
“You really do have it figured out.”
“I have my part figured out, but not yours. I thought we could talk about your schedule and work out when you’ll be able to come and see Heath. Unfortunately, I left all my things in the car—my notebook, my suitcase, the cookies and—”
“I’ll fetch everything. I think Heath’s zonked out for the time being, anyway.” Rolling away from her, Zeke climbed out of bed.
“But it’s still raining.”
“Not so hard anymore and the lightning’s stopped. Cover your eyes. I’m turning on the lamp. Of course it might not come on if that strike hit a transformer like last night.”
She put her hand over her eyes. “I should’ve piled everything on the porch, but that seemed kind of dopey. I wanted to be the only thing you saw when you arrived.”
“Considering how you presented yourself, I would have been blind to anything else, anyway.” He snapped on the light. “Aha. We have electricity.”
“That’s good.” Slowly she took her hand away and allowed her eyes to adjust. Zeke had opened the closet’s sliding doors and stood with his back to her while he took out some clothes. She admired the view: broad back, slim hips, tight buns and muscled thighs and calves.
But now that she knew more about his past, she wasn’t drawn to him for his beauty alone. Despite facing horrors that no child should have to deal with, he’d been determined to survive. She admired his iron will even as she recognized what forging it had cost him. He was a lusty man who enjoyed physical pleasure, but he didn’t dare let himself fall in love.
He pulled on briefs and jeans and boots, then turned, a man’s bathrobe in his hand. “Want to wear this? I’m not saying you have to. You’re more than welcome to walk around naked.”
“I’d love to wear your bathrobe. I’m basically a modest person.”
“I know.” He smiled and handed it to her. Black velour without a bit of color on it. “That’s what made your plan tonight even better. Where were you when you took off your clothes?”
“Under the blanket.” She got out of bed and put on the bathrobe.
“That blanket’s a lot smaller than the one we used last night.”
“And I doubt I was completely covered at all times. I told myself it was dark and, besides, nobody was here. I have to admit I like the privacy of country living.” The velour swam on her. She snuggled into it, enjoying the scent of his aftershave as she tied the belt and rolled back the sleeves.
“Cute.” He grinned. “It never looked that good on me. So where are your keys?”
“The car’s unlocked, but let’s forget about getting that stuff from my car. It can wait.”
“I agree that most of it can wait, but I have a hankering for some of Rosie’s home-baked cookies.”
“Yep, now that you mention it, so do I.” She walked with him to the living room. “They’re in a tin in the back seat.”
“Be right back with our dessert.”
&n
bsp; She stood by the open door and watched him dash through the rain until he disappeared around the side of the house. Moments later, lightning slashed across the sky and she cried out as thunder followed right after. “Zeke!”
“No worries! I’m okay!” The car door slammed and he came running back. Light from the open door glistened on his broad chest and his dark hair was plastered against his head. Flashing her a rakish smile, he leaped onto the porch as another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky.
She grabbed him and pulled him inside. Thunder like a sonic boom shook the house. “You almost got yourself killed for cookies!”
Tossing his wet hair back from his forehead, he laughed. “That would look great in the newspaper, wouldn’t it? Man Struck by Lightning While Fetching Chocolate-Chip Cookies for the Mother of His Child.”
“I’m really glad that story won’t be running in the next issue. Stay right there while I get you a towel.” By the time she returned with it, he’d taken off his boots and was in the process of exchanging his wet jeans for the dry ones lying in the pile of clothes by the door. Once again, he was facing away from her.
He hadn’t heard her come in on bare feet. She stood for a moment and watched him, fascinated by his toned body. He moved with grace for such a big guy. After zipping his jeans he gently massaged his left shoulder.
She walked toward him. “I had a feeling you weren’t telling me the truth about whether you’d put a strain on it.”
He stopped and turned to her. “It’s fine.”
“I don’t believe you.” She handed him the towel.
He began drying his broad chest. “I leaned on it for quite a while during Heath’s kicking demonstration. It’ll be better soon.” He began towel drying his hair but he used his right hand a lot more than his left.
She groaned. “I didn’t notice you were braced on your bum shoulder all that time. Do you have any kind of ointment that helps?”
“Yes, ma’am, but let’s not worry about—”
“Let’s do. Please go get it. What’s the point in pretending not to be hurt?”
He lowered the towel and gave her a lopsided grin. “If you have to ask, you obviously don’t know cowboys.”
“Then let’s put it this way. I won’t be able to enjoy eating chocolate-chip cookies if I’m sitting there thinking about your aching shoulder.”
“All right, I’ll go put some on.”
“Up to you, but if you’ll bring it into the kitchen I’ll do it for you.” Looking into his eyes, she could see the battle raging. He was so unused to having someone take care of him, but the part of him he’d denied still yearned for tenderness.
At last he sighed, almost as if in surrender. “That would be great. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She picked up the tin of cookies he’d set on the floor. “I’ll set up our snack. What’s there to drink?”
He gave his hair one last rub with the towel. It wasn’t dripping anymore but it stuck out in all directions. “Same thing as last night. I’ll have a beer and there’s more root beer if you want some. Plus there’s water, of course. I’d make you coffee but all I have is leaded.”
She resisted the urge to reach up and finger-comb his hair. She didn’t care to experience his reaction to an overdose of feminine concern. “Water’s fine with me.”
“Then I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
Setting the cookie tin on the card table, she got a glass of water for herself and took a beer out of the refrigerator. Opening it, she set the bottle on the table. The thought of beer and cookies made her grimace.
When he came into the kitchen, he’d combed his hair. “This is the stuff.” He handed her a tube of ointment. “It doesn’t take much.”
“Have a seat.” She motioned him to a chair and unscrewed the cap. “Go ahead and start on the cookies.”
“No, ma’am. I’ll wait till you’re done.”
“I can’t believe you’re having beer with your cookies.” She massaged the ointment into his warm skin.
He chuckled. “You can blame the good ol’ boys on the rodeo circuit. They taught me that beer goes with everything.”
“You guys must have a lot of fun traveling around together.”
“They’re a good bunch.” He moaned softly.
She quickly lightened the pressure of her fingers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You’re not. It feels terrific.”
“Good.” She squeezed out another dab of ointment. “I know you said it didn’t take much, but this absorbs so nicely.”
“Yes, ma’am.” At the start his upper body had felt rigid and unyielding, but gradually he relaxed. Slowly his chin dropped to his chest and when she peeked at his face, his eyes were closed. In that moment she faced the truth – she was in love with him. And because of all he’d been through, chances were slim that he would ever love her back. He wouldn’t want to risk it.
Ah, but he needed love so desperately. She wondered how long it had been since someone had touched him in a non-sexual, nurturing way. However long it had been, months or maybe years, he was soaking it up now. She decided not to stop until he asked her to.
Eventually he heaved a gusty sigh. “That’s plenty. Thank you.”
“Glad to do it.” She replaced the cap and walked over to the sink to wash off the ointment residue.
When she came back, he got up and pulled out her chair. “That really helped.”
“I hope so.” She opened the cookie tin. “I hate to think of you getting worse instead of better just because I’m here.”
“Whatever I’ve done has been my choice.” He waited for her to take a cookie before choosing one. “If it means another week or two of rehab, then I’ll deal with that.”
“But I know you’re eager to get back on the circuit.”
“I’ve been thinking about that. Since turning pro, I’ve paid attention to my financial situation. Because of travel expenses, some venues I barely break even. Others provide a healthy profit. I’ve done them all regardless because what else did I have to do?”
She had a hunch where he was going with this. “You’re thinking of cutting back?”
“Basically I’d pick and choose so I can spend more time with Heath.”
“That would be good for him.”
“And good for me. I have a torn rotator cuff because I’ve been pushing it. I don’t want to ever be laid up to the point I can’t play a game of catch with my son.”
“That’s a worthy goal, Zeke.”
He sipped his beer and gazed at her. The wheels were definitely turning. “Look, I don’t know how to say this right, and I’ll probably mess it up, but if I don’t throw it out there you’ll just go ahead with your plan.”
She’d been about to take another cookie but she changed her mind. She dreaded what he might say next. “I like my plan. It’s perfect for me.”
“Are you sure? Because from where I sit, it makes a lot more sense to sell your house and buy something here, a house that would work as a day care.”
The relaxed mood she’d been enjoying disappeared. “You’re talking about a whole lot of work for no reason.”
“First of all, I’d help you every step of the way because the last thing I want is to give you more to do. As for reasons to move, my foster family will support the heck out of you if you move here. Shoot, Phil and Damon will be your first customers, and, like I said, Rosie knows everyone in town. If she spreads the word, you’ll be turning people away.”
“I know a lot of people in Casper, too. I’ve been a primary-level teacher there for five years. I’m impatient to get started and I don’t want to lose any time. I’d lose tons of it if I do what you’re suggesting. Putting a house on the market, buying a new one, moving all my furniture, finding a new
obstetrician—the list is endless!”
“But you’d have help, mine and my family’s.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you see? If I do it my way, I won’t need any help.”
“I do see that.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Damn it, Tess, I felt him move tonight. He’s real to me now.” He held her gaze. “I know I’m asking a lot, but if you’d be willing to move here, I could be with you for most of the pregnancy.”
“I understand why you’d want that, but we’re only talking about a few months. Then you’ll be traveling while I’m adjusting to a different house and a different town. I know your family would be supportive, but it is a lot to ask.”
“That’s not all I want to ask of you.” He leaned toward her and reached for her hand.
“Zeke.” She tried to pull it away, as if that would stop what was coming.
“Marry me, Tess. I want to be that little boy’s father in every sense of the word.”
She squeezed her eyes shut to blot out the plea reflected in his hazel eyes. His sincerity broke her heart. He’d completely accepted his responsibility as a father and in his mind that should include marriage. But he’d never mentioned love and she wouldn’t take those vows with a man who only wanted to do the right thing for his son. If that was selfish of her, so be it.
“You said your folks are likely to be upset about Heath. Won’t marrying me fix that, too?”
That stiffened her spine even more and she opened her eyes. “I already married one man to please them. I won’t do it again.”
“You’re right. That’s not a good reason to get married. I’m sorry I even brought it up. But Heath is a good reason. He can grow up with both a mom and a dad in the house.”
“Who are you kidding? You’ll be gone half the time.”
“No, I won’t. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. A lot of that traveling has been a waste of time and money. I’ll be more selective. I’ll look for performance venues that are closer to home.”
“You don’t have a home. You said so yourself.”
“I want to make one. With you and Heath.”
Say Yes to the Cowboy Page 16
