The Monster of Fame (The Price of Fame Series)

by Duffy, Aimée

  Finally, the cool mask cracked and what she saw would have broke her heart if it hadn’t already been shattered. A pain and grief she couldn’t even begin to understand morphed his expression for the briefest of seconds before he composed himself.

  The anger receded only to be replaced with pain. “I’m not Cassie. I can do this.” Her voice was barely a whisper and broke twice.

  “No, you’re not,” he said with a hard tone, and she winced. “But you can’t handle this. You’re not emotionally strong enough. Neither was she.”

  “When are you going to start seeing me for who I really am?” she wondered aloud.

  His brow creased, but he left without another word. She turned back to stare at the stranger in the mirror. Those wide blue eyes sparkled with tears and the porcelain skin looked ten shades whiter.

  A glance at the jazzy silver clock on the wall told her she was on stage in less than fifteen minutes. With her heart shredded and the option to save her family by walking away from the only dream she could make a reality, Anna knew she was on the brink of breaking down.

  But what would that achieve? Hadn’t she said that nothing in this life that’s worth having comes easy? It was a saying her mother used like it was going out of fashion, but Anna lived her life by it.

  She couldn’t have Miles, that was clear from his attempt to blackmail her. She’d hoped he was beginning to care for her like she did him, but she knew now that her hopes were frivolous. How could he blackmail someone he loved?

  She could have her dream though. It was so close she could almost feel it, consolation prize or not.

  After ten minutes of weighing up the options, Anna decided breaking down wouldn’t solve a damn thing. She’d lost Miles, but she could still save her family on her own and pay him back every penny he’d used to buy the debt. After a mental slap, Anna went to find Safri and get herself ready for the performance of her life.

  * * * *

  The crowd went wild the minute she stepped onto the stage. Lights shone on her from every angle and her backing dancers surrounded her, all grooving along to the upbeat rendition of one of the oldest power ballads of all time.

  As she hit the chorus and the crowd rose from their seats, screaming and cheering their approval, she realized she really was great at this. She might not win, but she was darn well good and would snatch up Safri’s offer of management in a heartbeat.

  The press could be a problem, sure. Though the amount of female artists in the charts with overly curvaceous figures was startling. She promised herself then that she wouldn’t take anything written about herself seriously ever again. She wasn’t fat, just curvy, and Miles had made her feel beautiful. Of course that was before he’d turned into a prat and tried to control her…

  As the song came to its last verse, she fixed her gaze on Miles. His face was as white as hers was earlier and his eyes still looked dead. What pulled at her heart strings more was the look of guilt mingled with terror in his expression, he wasn’t struggling to hide it now.

  She didn’t understand why he would feel either—unless of course he felt bad about trying to blackmail her. If she wasn’t still so bleedin’ angry at him, she might feel for his obvious pain. But she was angry, and she wasn’t in a very generous mood.

  No way, Jose.

  The fact was he’s wrong. She had grown stronger, she did have what it took and, damn it, she would get stronger still! The song finished and she stood patiently, waiting for the judges’ commendations. Each judge has acts in the final this year. Sander had his girl band, Connekt. Safri had Anna and Toni Johnston—a country singer who was extraordinarily pretty. And Miles had Kev.

  “Anna, that was…wow. I know you have what it takes to win this. I’ve known it from the start,” Safri told her earnestly. “Come on, all you guys at home, pick up the phones and vote for Anna. She deserves to win this. She really is amazing.”

  The smile Safri aimed her way was blinding. Anna returned it.

  “I have to agree with Safri. It’s going to take a hell of a lot to beat you. This was your best performance of the whole competition. You should be feeling extremely proud of yourself right now,” Sander chimed in. Anna smiled her thanks with knots twisting her stomach.

  She couldn’t look at Miles.

  “I…” His voice was barely a whisper over the mic, and it pulled at her heart strings almost painfully. She turned to him and could tell by the way his face was twisted with pain that he was fighting very hard for composure. Aware that the show was aired live, Anna kept her mouth shut and a polite smile on her face.

  “Well done,” he said eventually, leaving it at that. Her stomach dropped to the soles of her feet.

  “The lines are now open, folks, get voting and we’ll be back in an hour with the results,” Mhairi Granger spoke toward camera three.

  Anna heard someone shout “cut” in the distance and she walked right past the judges’ table and out into the audience where she found her mum, Granny Menzies, and Jess all in the front row.

  She had an hour to kill and was spending it with the people she knew loved her. There was no way she could be alone after his half-assed comment.

  * * * *

  Safri’s hand was crippling hers as she stood, lined up on stage with the other acts and the three judges. Connekt all had an arm around Sander, Toni clung onto Safri’s other hand, and Miles and Kev had an arm slung around each other.

  Miles’s attention only seemed to focus on Anna though, and it made her squirm. Why did he have to look at her like she was doomed when she was trying to deal with the pressure of the competition?

  The crowd was silent, not a person spoke as they waited on the results part of the show coming on, the part that would announce the winner.

  It all seemed inconsequential now, standing there with everyone else who wanted to win as much as she did. In the last hour she’d realized that it wasn’t just a win she wanted—well, not just that anyway.

  She wanted Miles to believe in her, to see her for who she really was. And she wanted him—in every way—so much that it hurt, and when he looked at her like she was already dead—like he was at the moment—it made her shattered heart throb painfully in her chest.

  They went live and Mhairi began to speak. Anna couldn’t care less what the pretty presenter was saying though, Miles’s eyes held hers and she could barely breathe. Suddenly, his face fell and his eyes welled up. She opened her mouth to say something—anything—just to take the heart-wrenching pain away, but she was pulled into Safri’s arms and hugged tight.

  Anna was in a daze. What on earth was going on? Before she could compose herself to ask, Mhairi had taken her hand and placed a mic in it. Anna looked down at it dumbly.

  “Congratulations, Anna. You’re this year’s Do You Have What It Takes? winner!” Her eyesight blurred as she looked into the pretty presenter’s face. Did Mhairi really say she’d won?

  “Right guys, back to your seats. Anna, time to sing your winner’s song,” Mhairi instructed.

  She had won.

  Like, she’d really won.

  Holy crow, she’d done it.

  Anna’s smile of elation stretched from ear to ear, but as she heard the first notes of her song play, it quickly disappeared. This was the song she’d picked to break the news that she was in love with Miles. Now she’d have to sing it knowing that he would rather blackmail her than see her for who she really was.

  The judges returned to their table and the stage cleared of everyone but her. Sparkly silver and gold confetti swirled in the air around her while anger burned her throat. After a moment, she came to the conclusion that she was going to sing this song, dammit, and she was going to sing it for her family. At least they would appreciate her love.

  * * * *

  Second guessing himself wasn’t something Miles really ever did. Yet he was just now.

  Annabelle was on stage, singing her heart out and looking more composed and beautiful than he’d ever seen her. Although
she’d appeared dazed when she’d been announced the winner, she seemed elated now and it showed in the passion she put into the song.

  The way she was singing Whitney’s I Will Always Love You made his heart melt. A part of him—the part that wished he was good enough to deserve her—hoped that secretly she’d chosen the song for him. Her gaze flickered to his occasionally and hope swelled in his chest, but it was quickly diminished.

  If she had picked the song for him, he was sure that had changed now. He’d been blind with panic earlier and so very desperate to save her. There was no way he’d survive if he lost her too.

  And so he’d went against his better nature and gave her an ultimatum. That wasn’t what he’d intended when he’d started the process of buying up her debt. He’d wanted to give her security, to make sure she didn’t have to do this, knowing that she wouldn’t handle it.

  He’d been an idiot.

  How could he have missed how much she wanted to win—how much she’d wanted this for herself? Did the panic make him so blind so that he missed how much she’d grown and how strong she’d become? Was she right when she’d accused him of not really seeing her, but Cassie instead?

  As she glided around the stage, her shoulders pulled back and her eyes sparkling with joy he saw exactly how much of a fool he’d been. Sure, the press was still an issue, but he’d have been there, every day, making sure she knew exactly how beautiful and talented and sexy she was. He wouldn’t have let the paps drag her down. Not in this lifetime.

  Worse still, he loved her so much it hurt. This strong, courageous woman who’d taught him to believe in himself and shown him just how much he did deserve all those things he’d been missing since Cassie’s death. It was just Annabelle he didn’t deserve now. She was far too kind and brilliant and utterly amazing in every way to be with the likes of him.

  How could she love someone like him, someone who couldn’t even see the changes in her even over the last few weeks when he’d been with her through it all?

  Bottom line, he’d made a complete and utter mess of everything and he’d lost her. He remembered her angry torrent earlier undermined by the pain shining from her eyes when he’d done the unthinkable. He remembered the venom in her voice and the certainty with which she’d thrown him out.

  There was no way she’d speak to him now. How the hell was he going to win her back? Was this really the end? Pain slashed through his heart with the intensity of a sharpened dagger.

  No, it wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be. He had so much more to give.

  Chapter 12

  It’s The Little Things We Do

  From the old battered rocking chair in her mum’s cozy living room, Anna gazed out of the window, taking in the view of the town that only a few months ago she’d called home. The quaint little houses with their multi-colored rooftops scattered in uneven rows all the way down to the long strip of pebbled beach at the harbor. Boats were docked along the river Forth and seagulls swooped down from the misty sky, scavenging the breadcrumbs tourists threw onto the promenade.

  The little village she’d grown up in was still as magical as before, but it didn’t feel like home now. She’d been back for almost a week, being fussed over by her mother and Jess. They were ecstatic of course—as was Granny Menzies—but Anna was not.

  Nursing a broken heart and craving to be in a home that was never hers meant she couldn’t really celebrate the way her mum thought she ought to be. Alternating between being so mad she could punch Miles square off the nose and so distraught that she wanted to stay in bed all day crying, was most definitely messing with her buzz.

  Safri had been in touch and sent her a contract to sign for the management deal the other day, but even that didn’t bring the elation she knew it should. Right about now, she should be flying as high as the sun—instead she felt like her heart had been run over by a truck.

  For the billionth time, she picked up the contract Safri had sent her from the side board and stared at it without really seeing the words.

  The offer was more than she’d dreamed of. First they’d get to work on recording an album in the UK before releasing a song, then a tour, and afterward fly to the US where the process would start all over again. She’d be paid an advance of sorts—way more than she’d expected and enough to pay Miles back some of the money she owed him for buying her family’s debt.

  But the contract was still unsigned. It was her dream—just not the way she wanted it. Jess told her she was ‘off her head’ when she hadn’t signed the contract the second it arrived and sent it straight back to Safri by Special Delivery post.

  Who knew, maybe she was off her head.

  Her mum was kinder about the whole thing and told her to take all the time she needed. But it wasn’t time Anna needed. It was a different kind of offer she wanted. She wished Miles would offer her representation—so she would know that he finally believed in her.

  That wasn’t going to happen though, and she was trying to accept it. She hadn’t spoken to Miles since the day he’d blackmailed her, since the day she’d won the competition and returned to Scotland with a broken heart.

  A part of her longed for him to make the same offer as Safri—including himself in the bargain of course. She sighed, the tears burning the back of her throat. It would be fine and dandy if she could just forget about him.

  “Anna, love, there’s a letter come in the post for you,” Jeanie MacIntosh said as she walked through the door of the living room.

  Anna forced a smile onto her face as she stared at her mum. The warmth in her mum’s answering smile made Anna’s all the more real. Jeanie’s blue eyes were huge and identical to Anna’s. Her thick, dark hair was straight and shone like the sun. No one would believe she was Anna’s mum, she looked much younger than her forty-seven years.

  She handed Anna a familiar looking envelope. Icy fear gripped her chest.

  “Thanks, Mum,” she replied, glad her voice came out steady.

  Jeanie left her alone again in the living room and Anna waited until she heard the back door close. Her mum—relieved that the debt had been bought by Anna’s ‘young man’—was so full of joy and happiness these days that Anna never voiced her worries.

  The truth was, she was wondering when Miles was going to call up the debt, and she’d told her mum everything, blackmail and all, several times in fact. Jeanie had merely patted her on the head and told her not to be daft and threw the whole incident off as a misunderstanding.

  Weighing the ominous manila envelope in her hand she knew the time had come. He wanted his money back, she just hoped he’d be reasonable about time frames.

  Releasing the breath she’d been holding, Anna slid a finger underneath the seal and ripped the envelope open. She pulled out all the papers he’d shown her, but was surprised when a folded sheet of paper fluttered to the floor.

  She picked it up and flicked open the handwritten note.

  Annabelle,

  I’m truly sorry for what I did. The rights to everything are now yours, as it was always intended to be.

  Miles x

  She read and re-read the note, trying to find a hidden meaning in the words. Unsatisfied, she shuffled through the papers, noting the only difference was that it was her name on the top. Hands trembling, she stumbled to the door, clenching the papers in one hand, and ran to the kitchen. After throwing the back door open, she called, “Mum.”

  Jeanie looked up from the plant she was potting, and Anna noticed Jess walking up the cobble path toward the house.

  “Look,” Anna shouted at them both, still unable to believe what she held in her hands.

  The three of them scurried into the kitchen, Jess snatching the papers out of Anna’s hands and reading them over with wide eyes. “He didn’t…” Jess trailed off.

  “Let me see,” her mum said, taking the letter from Jess. A knowing smile curved Jeanie’s lips and she looked at Annabelle with I told you so written all over her face. “See. Misunderstanding.” Jeanie
nodded, clearly pleased with the turn of events.

  “Why didn’t he bring them himself?” Anna wondered aloud, her voice sounding very far away. And more importantly, she asked herself, why would he go to all that time and expense for her if he didn’t care?

  Hope started to blossom in her chest, but she tried to squash it. If he did care about her, why wasn’t he here himself giving her the papers?

  “You said it yourself, Anna, you hauled him over the coals. He’s probably terrified to come here in case he gets a door slammed in his face. Why not go to him?” Jess said, staring her down. “I mean, that’s why you’ve not signed with Safri, isn’t it? It’s Miles you’re holding out for.”

  Anna made an irritated sound in the back of her throat as she glared at Jess. “I can’t just up and go to London. Besides, what if you’re both wrong and he doesn’t like me that way? Maybe this…” Anna lifted up a sheet of paper and waved it in front their faces. “…is because he feels guilty. Did you ever consider that?” Because she had. She was too afraid to hope.

  “Bollocks,” Jess said. “I was in London, remember? I saw the way his eyes followed your every movement, the way he really focused on everything you said and how he put up with me happily so he could spend time with you, so don’t give me any of that nonsense.” Jess shook her head in exasperation. “He did this for you because he cares about you. Now stop sitting around like a ninny and go get your man!”

  “Hear, hear.” Jeanie agreed, and Anna frowned.

  Was her fear of being rejected by him holding her back? Honestly though, it was hard enough now when it was her that walked away of her own accord. If she went back to London only to be rejected by him, what would that do to her? Or worse, what if he still didn’t see her for who she was?

  But as she looked into the determined eyes of her mum and best friend, Anna knew she had to go. They’d given her the same looks and encouragement when she announced she wanted to enter Do You Have What It Takes? and they’d pushed her to do it. She knew they would do the same again.