The Bracelet (Everlasting Love)
Page 18
And if it had been planned?
Either way, he had to take a good hard look at that wall of resentment he’d put up between them. If he didn’t, thirty-three years of marriage could just slip away.
Chapter 15
Brady held the small liquor bottles out to his son and waited for Sean’s explanation.
Laura held her breath, wishing she’d never gone to the toolshed that afternoon. When she and Brady had searched Sean’s room, they’d found…nothing. And they’d done a thorough search. She could tell Brady had been just as relieved as she’d been that they’d come up empty.
While Brady had driven Kat to Sandra’s, Laura had mulled over the best way to deal with this with Sean. She’d finally realized there was no best way. They simply had to confront him.
Sean had come home from Boyd’s with a grin on his face, his shirt damp over his swim trunks. Apparently Boyd’s parents had readied the pool for Memorial Day weekend.
But now Sean glanced from his father to his mother, his grin nowhere in evidence. “Yeah, they’re mine,” he said calmly.
To Laura’s surprise, his voice was noncombative.
Sean went on. “They’re nothing for you to get ripped up about. They’ve been in there since Christmas. One of the older guys got a bunch of them and handed them out. I knew if you saw them in my room you’d go berserk, so I stowed them out there. You can see they’re not even open.”
The seals were intact and Laura began to breathe a little easier.
But Brady was still wary. “How many of them were there to begin with?”
Sean hesitated only a moment. “That was it.”
“If you weren’t going to drink them, why didn’t you just toss them?” Brady kept his tone conversational.
It was obvious that he was trying hard not to put Sean on the defensive. But of course the boy was defensive just by the nature of the conversation.
With one of those teenage shrugs that frustrate parents, Sean admitted, “I thought I’d take them along to college. You know. Thought I’d be cool.”
Brady set the bottles on the counter, his expression worried. “Cool has nothing to do with drinking.”
“Yeah, I know that.”
“No, apparently you don’t.”
“They’re no big deal,” Sean repeated, getting a little heated now. “Certainly not as big a deal as me going to the school I want to go to. Did you look at that brochure I gave you?”
“Your mom and I both read it, but I want to check into the school’s accreditation before you even consider it.”
“You’re always—” Sean clamped his lips together. “Never mind.” He pointed to the liquor bottles. “So can I go to Gary’s cabin tonight, or are you going to ground me for something I picked up six months ago, stowed away and forgot I had?”
If he hadn’t added the “forgot I had,” Laura almost could have bought it. Still, she and Brady had no proof Sean was drinking. With Kat not confiding in them, either, they couldn’t condemn him without any evidence.
Brady must have come to the same conclusion. “Are you sure Gary’s father’s going to be there?”
“He said he would.”
“How many kids will be staying over?”
“Four…six. Not many. We’re going fishing tomorrow morning, so I’ll be back around noon.”
“All right,” Brady said finally, giving his permission.
Laura could see there were probably a thousand other things he wanted to say to Sean, too. But if he did, he’d be preaching. If he did, Sean would get defiant. If he did, they could lose their son before he left for school, no matter which college he chose.
“I just have to throw some gear in my duffel, then I’m out of here.” After a last glance at the bottles on the counter, he loped toward the stairs.
When Sean was out of earshot, Laura asked, “What do you think?”
Creases furrowed Brady’s brow. “I don’t know what to think. It’s possible these have been in the shed since Christmas. It’s also possible there were more to begin with and this is all that’s left.”
“I just feel bad that we don’t automatically believe him,” Laura said.
“Last summer Sean gave us reason to worry. I can always call Gary Laslow’s father tomorrow and ask him what went on.”
“Sean would hate that if he found out.”
“And probably hate me. But we have to figure out if he’s telling the truth.”
Heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs as Sean jogged down with his duffel. He called from the living room, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have fun. Drive safe,” Laura called back.
The front door closing carried to the kitchen. When Laura’s gaze met Brady’s, he ruefully shook his head. “This doesn’t get any easier.”
He approached her then, and there was something different about the look in his eyes and the way he was studying her. Sex appeal had always emanated from Brady, had always drawn her to him, had always wrapped itself around him when they were together. It had been absent since his heart attack, as if he’d shut it down. But now it was there again and her stomach fluttered with excitement. He was standing close to her, very close.
While the late-spring breeze brought the scent of roses through the kitchen window, she examined her husband’s face, hoping to catch a glimpse of what he was thinking. She never expected the question that he asked.
“Did you and Dr. Gregano plan to meet at the bagel shop?”
“No! Of course not. Why would you think such a thing?”
After a long pause, he replied, “Because you’ve had a lot to deal with and might have wanted to escape…us. Because maybe you needed a man to give you attention I haven’t. And I said some things I shouldn’t have. I’ve been feeling raw and exposed and…powerless. After I got out of the service, I didn’t want to feel powerless again. I’ve worked damn hard to control my life. Suddenly I was in the hospital with no control. That wasn’t an easy place for me to be in.”
Apparently Brady hadn’t been immune to her feelings. Apparently he’d missed the loss of intimacy between them, too. “I know.”
After debating with herself for a moment, she went on. “You’ve got to tell me the truth about something, Brady. You said my forgiveness was a burden. Have you resented me all these years? Have you wanted to be with me? Or was our marriage just like a lane in traffic you found yourself in and couldn’t escape from?”
He stepped even closer. “Before I left for the army, I felt we were equals. When I came back, I never believed I was worthy of your love. I’ve always thought you got cheated because you fell in love with one man and ended up with another.”
A deep womanly pulse inside her began fluttering and then racing with hope and the possibility of closeness with her husband again. “When I met you, you were a good man. When you came back from Vietnam, you were still a good man. Yes, you were different—more withdrawn, less open. Your joy and hope had left you. But it came back. On our wedding day, I was the happiest woman alive.”
“And now?” His voice was husky.
“We’ve had a lot of bumps in the road and we’ve managed to ride over them together. But this time, after your heart attack, we weren’t working through the problems together. Since your surgery, you’ve closed me out. You wouldn’t even touch me…” Her voice broke and she saw the turmoil in his eyes because he’d caused her this pain.
His arms came around her. “Let me tell you a secret, Laura Martinelli Malone. You have always radically turned me on. That didn’t change after my heart attack.”
“Brady—”
“I do not blame you for it. Or for my nightmares. I just hated having them again…putting you through this…being afraid I’d hurt you. On top of that, I also knew I had to shut down my libido. I was afraid to let my heart race. I couldn’t even climb the stairs without getting short of breath, let alone think about making love to you. Can you imagine how absolutely frustrating that was?”
Sh
e pushed away from him and tilted her head up. “I didn’t care about the sex. I just wanted to touch you and have you touch me.”
He stroked her hair. “I couldn’t. Not without wanting a hell of a lot more. And every time I was near you, I was afraid of my body’s reaction.”
Brady was a proud man. He never did anything halfway.
“I saw you and Gregano together today.” His voice was tight. The nerve in his jaw worked. “I saw he was interested in you. I knew other men would be interested in you. You’re a vital, beautiful woman. I realized if I didn’t do something to bridge this gap growing between us, I could lose you. Tonight the planets must be lined up just right. I’m here, you’re here, the kids aren’t here. I think we need to get to know each other all over again and start a new phase in our lives.”
“What phase is that?” she asked a little shakily, concerned having sex wasn’t the fix-all he wanted it to be, yet hopeful because she felt the same way right now she’d felt when she’d first met Brady—excited, happy, desired.
“A phase where the two of us aren’t too busy to have dinner, aren’t too busy to sit and talk, aren’t too busy to take a few days and go away together. Maybe your idea about a second honeymoon is just what we need.”
Sliding his hands under her hair, he rubbed his thumbs along her neck. Then he bent his head to hers and kissed her.
Brady didn’t waste time on a relaxed meander into passion. He dived right into it. His tongue boldly pushed into her mouth and she gasped from the pleasure of kissing him like this again. It had been too long since she’d wanted to feel his possession. He was obviously a man on a mission and that mission was to make her desire him…the mission was to make her remember what heated desire between them felt like. His mission was to take her back to a time and a place when everything was new and exciting and open to possibilities.
But then she remembered his heart attack and she became afraid for him.
Apparently sensing the change, he ended the kiss and pulled away from her. “What?”
“Are you ready for this? I mean—”
“I did two flights of stairs yesterday and didn’t get short of breath. So I passed the test. I’m ready to take the chance that my body’s healed enough. Are you?”
“You have to ask?” Her voice was wobbly, and then she was filled with so much anticipation and happiness she didn’t know how to express it. “What do you want to do first?”
“You mean besides kiss you again?”
She felt heat rushing through her at the prospect of making love with him once more.
He grinned at her. “I love it when your cheeks get red. Why don’t we go someplace for dinner—someplace quiet. Then we can come back, just take things slow and see where they go.”
She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest, feeling almost young again, loved again, special again. If only tonight would last forever.
Maybe it would.
From the dock, Sean glanced up at the floodlight above him as it went on in the enveloping dusk. On the hill, music blared from the cabin’s porch. There weren’t any neighbors for at least a mile in all directions. Located north of York, the cabin sat wedged between pines and oaks that were scattered all over the property. With gray light turning denser, Gary’s father was nowhere in sight.
Sitting on the rough boards near a pizza box, Sean picked up another slice. Two coolers with beer and ice Gary had provided sat haphazardly near the small dock. Tim and Boyd had arrived with three pizzas, hot wings and liters of Coke about an hour earlier. The six of them had devoured most of the pizza. James and Kent had taken one of the three canoes out onto the half-mile-long lake. The floodlight over the dock as well as the full moon illuminated their progress as they dipped their oars in and out, skimming the surface of the water.
Sean had swallowed swigs of a beer as he’d eaten pizza and wings, but he hadn’t gone near the fifths of whiskey James had contributed to the party. Although Sean was trying his best to concentrate on the conversation Boyd and Tim were having about the players on the Orioles team this year, his mind skittered all over the place. Mostly he was thinking about Valerie Johanssen and her long blond hair, her green eyes and fantastic smile. She was so…real. After his party, out on the patio, he’d found the courage to kiss her. When he had, the most ridiculous feeling had come over him that no matter what happened, everything was going to be all right. Because of a girl with silky hair and a smile that made his insides melt?
He didn’t know where they were going on their date tomorrow night. He’d much rather think about that than the scene with his parents in the kitchen. Daydreaming about Valerie was much more pleasant than admitting to himself that he’d lied again to his dad.
Hell, what was he supposed to say to him? Yeah, I drank the other ten of those bottles I had. Booze makes me feel better when nothing else can?
Wondering why Gary, who’d gone to the cabin to fetch a bag of chips, hadn’t returned, Sean pushed himself to his feet and hiked up the incline to the screened-in porch. The door slapped against the frame as he went inside—and stopped short. The smell told Sean that Gary was smoking, but not a cigarette…a joint. His friend was lounging on the indoor-outdoor carpet next to one of the speakers.
Sean lowered the volume on the CD player and crouched next to Gary. “What are you doing in here by yourself? The party’s out there.”
“I wasn’t having any fun. We need girls to have fun.” His friend’s words were slurred. Sean had noticed Gary drink at least three beers since he’d arrived, and he was sure his friend had started before that. Along with the pot, he soon wouldn’t remember his own name.
“Your dad said no girls allowed.”
“You don’t see him anywhere, do you? He called, said he got tied up, might be midnight till he gets here.”
“He’s in a meeting on a Friday night?” Gary’s dad was a lawyer and Sean supposed it was possible.
“He’s not in any meeting. He’s with his girlfriend.”
Sean was surprised by that news. As far as he knew, Gary’s parents hadn’t separated or anything. “What do you mean, he’s with his girlfriend?”
“He thinks I don’t know anything about it. I heard him talking to her on his cell phone one night. Mom was upstairs, so he wasn’t talking to her. Her name is Sheila something-or-other. She’s a paralegal in his office.”
“You can’t be sure.”
“Yeah, I can. He was laughing, talking about meeting her at a motel. I’m not stupid.” With a huge sigh, Gary levered himself to his feet. “I don’t want to think about it anymore. Let’s have some fun. If he’s not going to be here, we might as well get hammered.” He sucked another puff on the joint and offered it to Sean. “Want a drag?”
“Nah. I have a big date tomorrow night. I don’t want that stuff to affect anything that does or doesn’t happen.” He’d heard guys couldn’t get it up after they’d smoked weed. He wasn’t taking any chances. He doubted if Valerie was the kind of girl who dropped her clothes easily, but who knew. Whatever happened, he didn’t intend to dull any pleasure he might feel either by having the remnants of a hangover or anything else floating through him.
Gary gave him a lopsided grin. “It took you long enough to find a girl to your liking. Valerie is hot. I’m surprised she’s not attached.”
The screen door slapped behind them as they left the porch. Sean couldn’t wait to find out more about Valerie. He just hoped she’d give him a chance.
The night was filled with the sound of a local band’s demo CD, as Sean and Gary meandered toward the dock. Even in the encroaching darkness, Sean could sense Gary wasn’t steady on his feet.
The sound of a car coming down the lane stopped Sean. “I guess your dad got here earlier than he expected.”
“Nope. I called Paula Langston. I’m hoping she brought a couple of friends. This party’s about to get better.”
Sean wasn’t so sure. He’d been to parties with Paula and her
friends.
What was wrong with him tonight that he couldn’t have a little fun? Or even a lot of fun? Was it the whole college thing? The confrontation with his parents? Jitteriness about his date with Valerie tomorrow night?
All of the above.
An hour later, Sean was back on the porch, sifting through the CDs and ignoring Kent and Nina Thompson, who were swapping saliva on a love seat in the corner. Not long after the girls had arrived, there had been a pairing off. That was always the way it was. He hadn’t been interested in pairing off with one of them. He and Valerie had talked about stuff that mattered—college, for one thing—and he couldn’t wait until he saw her again.
Boyd’s voice sailed through the screen door. “Sean! Come out here and talk sense into Gary, will you?”
Gary was beyond hearing sense. He was both stoned and drunk.
Leaving the stack of CDs, he pushed open the screen door and stood on the top step. “I’m surprised Gary’s still on his feet.”
Boyd motioned for him to follow. “That’s the problem. He’s in a canoe and he’s fooling around.”
James and Paula were sitting on the hood of her car, looking as if they were having a heart-to-heart. Sean and Boyd jogged past them, down to the lake. “Where are Tim and Jeanetta?”
“Got me. They’re probably in one of the bedrooms. Just look at that idiot.” Boyd pointed to Gary.
Under the circle of the floodlight dappling the lake water, Sean could make out the canoe about twenty yards out. Gary stood in it, dancing to the beat of the CD that echoed across the water. He was backlit by moonlight, and the canoe was tipping from side to side.
“Gary!” Sean called. “Sit down and bring the canoe back in.”
“Nah,” Gary yelled back. “I’m having too much fun.”
“How long has he been out there?” Sean asked Boyd.