by Steven Pajak
Brian let his hand fall slowly away from her face. He gripped his own knees, but I could see his hands tremor. He was embarrassed, but I knew he probably wanted to keep his hand there, to continue to caress her cheek. Perhaps later, he’d have more time, but Tammy had more to tell us.
“Sorry, Tammy, but we need to get back to it. I’d really like to know more about the map. Can you help us with that?”
Tammy nodded her head. She took another drag of the cigarette, but this time she did not put it out. “May I?” she asked and pointed in the direction of the table where the map was spread out.
“Yes, please,” I said.
We all rose together and joined Phil. I noticed Brian’s hand on the small of Tammy’s back as they crossed the distance.
She placed her cigarette at the edge of the table, and leaned over the map. Indicating one of the circled areas with the red X crossed through it, Tammy said, “This here indicated an area that Alvin and his army raided. Over here, the ones that are just circled in black, those are outposts or safe locations where the raiders can fall back or resupply without having to trek back to the main camp.”
“What are these?” I asked, pointing to Finnegan Farms, which was circled in red, without a red X through it.
“The red circles are places that have been scouted. They send out one- or two-man teams to check out areas that Alvin thinks might have supplies or things we can use,” Tammy explained. “If scouts tell him the location bears fruit, he marks it on the map with the circle and plans for attack on another day.”
“And these dates? Do you know what they mean?”
Tammy moved around the table, brushing up against Brian—”Excuse me, sweetie”—and shifted the map so that she could read it better. “So the first date here…and the second one, too, are dates the scouts checked out the area. Over here, these dates indicate test attacks—”
“What do you mean, test attacks?” Phil asked.
“Let her finish, dude,” Brian said. He touched the small of Tammy’s back. “Go on. Don’t mind him.”
“I won’t, darling,” she said. “Anyway, they do test attacks to see what the other guy’s response time and tactics are. These dates with the asterisk are actual attack dates. The question marks are possible dates to conduct a raid.”
“Jesus,” Phil said. “So that first time they attacked Providence, that was a test to see how we’d react? Of all the underhanded—”
“That’s actually a sound tactical strategy,” I said. “Tammy, did Alvin have any military experience?”
She shook her head. “Uh-uh. As far as I know, he was just a guy in a suit who rode his Harley on the weekend and pretended to be an outlaw. A weekend son of anarchy.”
“What happened here today, that was a test, too?” Phil asked.
“This morning was just a test run. The plan was to fall back to the outpost, resupply, then hit again tomorrow or the day after.”
With his hand still on her back, Brian said, “There were only five or six guys at your outpost. That’s not enough for a second attack.”
Tammy stood up and turned to face Brian. She had to look up at him when she spoke. “There are more coming, a lot more. Alvin was supposed to meet us at the outpost at first light with a platoon of reinforcements. Your walls pose a challenge, and his solution is to throw lot of men and women at it.”
“Maybe he’ll turn back when he sees what happened to his men at the outpost” Brian said. “Maybe he’ll know we’re serious and he’ll lose his nerve.”
Taking both of his hands in hers, Tammy said, “Darling, when he sees what your brother’s done, he’s going to go from bat-shit crazy to full on Cujo.”
Now she looked up at me and said, “The man whose face you stomped unrecognizable was Mikey. Alvin’s little brother.”
* * *
“He won’t stop. Alvin is…driven. Once he sets his mind on something, he has a laser focus and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants or he dies trying.” Tammy finished her cigarette and crushed it under her shoe. She took a sip of water from the canteen.
She laid her hands on Brian’s thighs and leaned forward so that she their faces were less than a foot apart. Her nails were cracked and ragged, and dirt lined the cracks of her knuckles. “Mikey wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he was Alvin’s baby brother and he loved him like he loves nothing else. Nothing else.”
From his pocket Brian pulled out the Doral’s and offered Tammy the last cigarette. She took it, poking it into the corner of her mouth and waiting for him to light it up. After a long drag, she blew out a thick film of smoke and leaned back in her chair, though she kept one hand on my brother’s thigh.
Consulting her watch, she said, “In less than three hours, Alvin will arrive at the outpost. When he sees his brother laying in a pool of blood, naked as the day he was born, he’s going to go ballistic. Nuclear. Complete meltdown. It won’t take him long to figure out what happened and where to come looking for revenge. He’ll come right for us here and he’ll kill every last man, woman and child in this place. Me included.
“At first, this was about what you have and what he could take from you. He had us watching all the comings and goings here for a week now in preparation for this attack. Alvin only held off this long because he needed to figure a way around your walls. None of that matters now; he’ll be blood thirsty with revenge for his brother.”
“I can understand him wanting revenge on me, on Randall Oaks, but why would he kill you?” Brian asked. “You had nothing to do with his brother’s death.”
“He’ll kill me for living.” Tammy said. “No matter what happens now, I can’t go back there. I’m as good as dead.”
“You can stay here, no one will make you leave,” Brian said. Obviously, he didn’t care whether Phil or I had any objections.
“That’s sweet, but I don’t feel any safer.”
“Why would you throw in with people like that?” Phil asked. “If this guy is crazy like you say, why stay? Why follow someone like that?”
“Back off, Phil,” Brian said and turned in his chair so he could look at the other man. He was just itching to continue the argument from this morning and he found his chance. “Did you forget the man you followed? The man who brought war on us? Was he any different?”
Phil was speechless, caught off guard. “Are we really going to go there again? That was different,” he finally stammered out. “What Frank did was so that we could survive. He wasn’t a blood thirsty lunatic like whoever she described.”
“Bullshit,” Brian retorted. “You knew what he was doing not only to us, but also the rest of the communities was wrong. What we were doing was trying to survive. What you guys did was bully and take what you didn’t earn. And kill when anyone stood up to you.”
“You hold on now,” Phil said. His face was suddenly flush and his hands began to open and close with nervous frustration. “We provided security for many of the smaller communities and we only requested what we thought was fair compensation.”
The tension was suddenly thick enough to cut with a knife. I realized at any moment this argument could go south. I knew I should put an end to it now before something bad jumped off, but I could not bring myself to interfere.
“Request? Is that what you said, Phil? Don’t make me laugh. You demanded, and when we didn’t comply, Charlie died. You remember Charlie, don’t you? I hope you fucking see him in your nightmares because that is on you!”
“Jesus Christ,” I said. “Are we going to keep rehashing this shit?”
Ignoring me, Phil said, “Don’t you dare put that on me.”
He started toward Brian, but he stopped when Tammy asked, “Do you have kids? Mr…I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”
At first, Phil was quiet, surprised by the question. The tension that filled the room seemed to suddenly dissipate. “My name is Phil,” he finally answered. “No, I don’t have kids. I’m not sure what that has to do with this—”
“Well I did, before this all this happened,” Tammy said, cutting him off. “I had two lovely children and the best husband a girl could ask for. Seven months ago, they died, killed by those vile creatures. I was alone, on the street then.”
“Tammy, you don’t owe him any explanations,” Brian said. His eyes remained on Phil, a cold look that chilled me.
Taking his hand, she did not respond to him, but continued talking to Phil. “I was a stay at home mom before the world collapsed. All I knew how to do was clean a house, wash laundry, buy groceries, and cook supper for the husband and kids. The infected took my family, but Alvin and his army took whatever else I had, including my dignity. He offered food and protection, but everything came at a price.”
She took another drag on her cigarette, and then passed it to Brian. “I won’t tell you what they did to me, or what they made me become; I don’t owe you that. Just know that whatever I did, I did to survive. When I hooked up with Mikey, I did it to protect myself. As long as I was with him, the other men would leave me alone.
“Why did I stay, you asked? I stayed because as long as I was with them, I was alive. Without them, I would have died sure as I’m sitting in front of your right now. The world out there is no place to be alone. We all need people. And sometimes we don’t have a choice who we throw in with; we can’t always be on the good team.”
“You have a choice now,” Brian said.
“You’re sweet,” Tammy said. She leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth.
Tammy was right; we could no longer survive on our own. We all needed people. She was also right that sometimes you had to choose between the lesser of two evils; live with what you must do to survive or die with your morals. Death is never a survivor’s first choice. And I was a survivor
* * *
Stretched out on the floor of the trailer, my head propped up on my hand, I yawned. I was bone tired and all I wanted at that moment was eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. But there was much to be decided before I could rest and time was not on my side. It never is.
After Tammy’s long interrogation—I don’t know why I even call it that; she gladly told us everything we wanted to know about Alvin and the Route 59 Raiders, as they were called—Brian took her over to the medical tent so Ravi could check for signs of concussion. I did not think Brian had struck her that hard, but I knew it would make him feel better, so I told him to go on, but be mindful of time.
If Tammy was to be believed—there was no reason why she shouldn’t be—we didn’t have very long before Alvin surrounded us with his vast army of demon-slayers and laid waste to our small community.
Earlier, I told my brother I was done with killing; but killing, it seemed, was not yet done with me. The fact was I was not ready to throw in the towel, not by a long shot. Although I had suffered great loss, and life after the outbreak was hard living, I had also experienced joy and hope in this new life. Back at the farm, Lara and Wesley were waiting for me. As I pictured them in my mind, I realized that I would do whatever it took to get back to her.
Sitting up now, with my back propped against the metal wall of the container, I kicked a foot in Phil’s direction, knocking one of his boot-clad feet—that were crossed over each other—down.
“What are you thinking right now?” I asked.
Crossing his foot over the other again, he shook his head. “Man, I don’t know what to think right now. I feel like that woman just lobbed a live grenade in my direction and I have no cover from the blast. I’m too exhausted to think but we need a damn plan.”
From beside me, Sam said, “I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking the man that Tammy described is on his way here, maybe he’s already just down the road, right now discovering his men are all dead and putting one and one together to make two.”
I put a hand on Sam’s shoulder, but before I could say anything, she continued: “I’m scared right now, probably more scared than I’ve been in a long time.”
“I’m scared too,” I said.
“I think that man is scarier than any of those damn zombies, or crazies, whatever you call them, will ever be.” She looked at me now, her eyes locked on mine. “You have a plan, right Matt? You always seem to know what to do.”
Her words struck a chord deep inside; I recalled my last conversation with Wesley before I left the farm. He had said that I promised to keep everyone safe, but I had failed in that endeavor. I had failed miserably, to be honest. I couldn’t even count the friends and loved ones I had lost in the last six months on both hands and feet. I only had to stick my head outside the door of this trailer and look uphill at all of the markers if I wanted a visual of my failure.
In Sam’s eyes, I saw her need and so I told her what she needed to hear. “I always have a plan,” I said. “Let Alvin Stone and his army of sadistic freaks come. We won’t be here to welcome him.”
“Where the hell are we going to be?” Phil asked.
“We’ll all be at the farm. There is plenty of room for everyone. We have food, we have water, and shelter. More importantly we have friends waiting for us there.”
“I could sure use some friends right now,” Phil said. He scooted up onto his knees and stood up. He put his hands on the small of his back and stretched. “You think the rest of your group will take us in? I mean, after what happened between us?”
“They’d be happy to have you,” I said.
I spoke for the group, but I truly had no idea how they would react when I returned with a bunch of Providence refugees. There were definitely old wounds that had not yet healed. We’d lost many friends at the hands of Providence. Wesley had lost his parents during the war.
“We made it work, I’m sure the rest of them are willing to give you a chance,” Sam said to Phil. “You were there when we needed you. That counts for something.”
“And you were there for us,” Phil said.
“Do we want to hug it out?” I jokingly asked. For a moment, they both just stared at me, then Phil started to laugh, but he came forward and embraced me in a manly hug. Suddenly Sam was up quickly and joined in on the group hug.
“Okay, okay, enough of that,” I said, still chuckling as the two released me. “Back to the business at hand; we don’t have much time if what Tammy said is true. How many people do we have here?”
Phil and Sam both looked at each other and then started doing the math in their heads. Sam’s mouth moved as she silently counted on her fingers. After thirty seconds she said, “Forty one, not including you or Brian.”
“That sounds right,” Phil said.
“So we need enough vehicles to move forty plus souls. Brian and I can take probably twelve or so on the wagon if they squeeze in.”
“We have wounded,” Phil said. “They’re going to need to be laid out and that’s going to take space.”
“And we’ll need to take whatever supplies we have on hand—” Sam started.
“We have plenty at the farm,” I said, cutting her off. “We need to get light. Folks are going to have to take a few items but not more than that.”
“I understand,” Sam said, “But we can’t just waste food and water. And we can’t just leave weapons and ammo behind.”
“I agree with Sam,” Phil said. “It’s not much anyway, but I don’t want to leave it.”
Continuing this argument was going to be a waste of time. They had both been through hard times and wasting anything these days was a tough pill to swallow.
I said, “Look, I get it. We take food and weapons; everything else stays unless they can carry it on their backs. Now give me transportation options. Do we have anything that can pull these trailers?”
Phil shook his head. “Not without diesel. We used the last of it hauling in those containers on the road.”
“Figures. So what else do you have?”
“We have a couple of vans and pick-up trucks we should have enough fuel to get running, but that’s about it. Fuel is the issue,�
� Phil said. “I’m sure you guys didn’t ride up here on horseback because you enjoy it.”
“Some of us are going to have to walk,” Sam said. “It’s not ideal, but it is our only choice. We cannot be here when those guys show up again. Look at the damage they’ve already done with a small contingent.”
“We use the vehicles for the wounded and the weak,” I said. “Everyone else is humping it, no other choices. We’ll need to make sure everyone on their feet is armed in case we’re attacked by the crazies.”
“Sounds like we do have a plan,” Phil said.
“That was the easy part. Now we have to make it work. What is your leadership structure here? Do you have folks you can trust to get everyone organized?”
Sam was nodding her head. “We have some good people that can help us with that. What are you thinking?”
“Let’s break up into five groups. Each group will have a lead and a vehicle. The lead’s responsible for getting their group organized and ready to move. Each vehicle carries wounded or sick and whatever supplies can fit. Everyone else is on foot.”
Everyone was quiet, thinking over what I just said. It wasn’t the best plan, but it was our only plan. “Any questions?”
“No,” Sam said.
“I have one,” Phil said. “What do we do about the posse that’s coming for us? What’s to stop them from following right behind us and taking us out?”
“I’m still working on that. I have a plan, but no one is going to like it. I don’t even like it, but we don’t have many choices.”
“Well, are you going to share?” Sam asked.
I shook my head. “No, let me worry about this right now. You two share our exit plan with your leads, start getting things organized.”
“What are you going to do?” Phil asked.
“I have to check up on a few things and figure out my problem. Find me if you need me.”
Chapter 8
Fortunate Son
After a very long day, a good night’s sleep was at the top of my list, but I had a few more things to do before I lay my head down. My first stop was to check in on Kat and see how she was doing. I found her in good spirits—considering what she had been through—and I was grateful that whatever she had endured at the hands of the raiders had not broken her.
