Alice in the Middle

by Judi Curtin

  ‘Well?’ Alice was grinning at me.

  I didn’t know if I’d dare to wear it, it was so beautiful.

  ‘Maybe….’

  Alice laughed.

  ‘How about you wear it to the disco? It would be great with your white jeans.’

  All of a sudden I could see myself at the disco. For the first time in my entire life, (well since my christening day anyway) I’d be the best-dressed girl around. I nodded and Alice laughed some more.

  We piled everything into one big wardrobe and then we sat on our beds and waited for our room-mate to arrive.

  Every time we heard the sound of the minibus wheels on the gravel, we raced to the window and looked out. We watched as groups of girls and boys got out. Alice kept saying stuff like, ‘bet that’s Hazel,’ or ‘I hope that’s not her, she looks really boring.’

  Then we’d wait, and listen as girls came along our corridor, passed our door, and found their rooms.

  I started to hope that maybe Hazel wasn’t coming at all.

  Maybe she had cancelled at the last minute.

  Maybe she’d got some disease, not too serious, just bad enough to keep her away from summer camp.

  Maybe it would be just Alice and me together in the room after all.

  I’d have liked that.

  * * *

  Much, much later our bedroom door opened, and a girl walked in. She was really pretty, with curly blonde hair, and big brown eyes. She was wearing the coolest denim jacket I’d ever seen – with frayed cuffs and loads of studs and patches. My old rain jacket was on the bed next to me, and I moved it under my blanket so it couldn’t be seen.

  The girl smiled, showing perfect white teeth.

  ‘I’m Hazel,’ she said.

  Alice stood up.

  ‘Hi, Hazel. I’m Alice, and this is Megan.’

  We all said ‘hi’ and then there was a silence. I hate silences like that. I wished Hazel would just go away so Alice and I could get on with chatting.

  I’d only known her for a minute, but already I didn’t much like Hazel. She was a bit too confident – a bit too much like the kind of girl who liked to be in charge. Still though, I decided I was going to make a big effort to be nice to her. She wasn’t as lucky as me – she hadn’t got to go to camp with her very best friend in the whole world.

  Chapter three

  Hazel had a huge suitcase, and it seemed to take forever for her to unpack. Like Alice, she had heaps of fantastic clothes. I felt a bit like Cinderella with all my old raggy stuff. I felt sicker and sicker as she dragged more and more beautiful clothes from her case.

  After a while she pulled out a totally cool denim skirt. Alice jumped up and touched it.

  ‘That skirt is so nice,’ she said.

  Hazel shrugged.

  ‘That old thing,’ she said. ‘That’s so old I wasn’t even going to bother bringing it.’

  I started to laugh, before I realised that she wasn’t joking. I made a face at Alice, but she didn’t see me. She was too busy admiring Hazel’s four new pairs of sports shoes.

  At last Hazel seemed to be finished. She sat on her bed with a big sigh.

  ‘I so hate unpacking,’ she said. ‘The only thing worse than unpacking is packing. I find it so hard to decide which clothes to bring. Don’t you find that?’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Alice.

  I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have any trouble choosing which clothes to bring. What would Hazel say if she realised that almost every piece of clothing I owned was stacked up in the wardrobe next to us?

  Just then there was a knock on the door, and a woman came in to our room.

  ‘Hi, girls, I’m Gloria,’ she said with the biggest smile I had ever seen. She had a huge mop of black curly hair, shiny black skin, and teeth that were whiter than the milk I’d poured on my porridge that morning.

  She looked down a list that was pinned to a clipboard.

  ‘You must be Alice, Hazel, and Megan.’

  We all nodded.

  Gloria continued.

  ‘I’m your team leader for the week. If you have any questions, or any problems you all come to me. OK?’

  We all nodded again.

  Gloria didn’t seem to mind that none of us appeared to be able to speak.

  ‘Now all you second floor girls are in my group. Along with the boys from the ground floor. From now on you’re known as the blue group. Got it?’

  Once more the three of us nodded silently.

  Gloria gave a big long laugh.

  ‘Can’t wait to hear your sweet voices,’ she said. ‘Tea is in five minutes. Go down the stairs and follow the signs for the dining hall. Last one down has to do all the washing up. It’s camp tradition.’

  Then she went out, half-closing the door behind her. There was a huge scramble as Alice, Hazel and I jumped up and raced to put on our shoes. Gloria put her head around the door, and treated us to one of her huge smiles.

  ‘Just kidding. See you in five.’

  * * *

  Tea was great. Chips and sausages and heaps of ketchup – with nothing organic or healthy in sight.

  All the blue group had to sit in one section of the dining room. There were also sections for the red, yellow and green groups. I sat with Alice of course, and she invited Hazel to sit with us. Hazel barely stopped talking. She told us all about her big house and her pony and how she was going to America for four weeks as soon as camp was over. She went on so much about her fabulous life that she almost put me off my sausages. By the time tea was over, I was really fed up of her, but Alice didn’t seem to mind.

  Gloria moved around all the blue tables, talking to everyone. When she came over to us, Alice said,

  ‘Gloria, can I ask you something?’

  Gloria smiled.

  ‘Sure. Ask me anything.’

  Alice hesitated.

  ‘Well, it’s about Mrs Duggan. Does she…? I mean is she ……’

  Gloria laughed.

  ‘Mrs Duggan is the big boss. You don’t bother her. She won’t bother you. If you’ve got a problem, you just come to me. OK?’

  We all nodded. I was very relieved. There was something really scary about Mrs Duggan, and if I never saw her again, it would have been too soon.

  When we had finished eating, it was time to sign up for our optional sport. As Alice and I walked over to the notice board, Hazel followed us. She spoke in a loud voice,

  ‘I’m doing tennis, that’s for sure. I’m going to be playing a lot in America – after all, we will be staying in a place with eight tennis courts – so I need to get some practice in.’

  Yessss. I thought. At least Alice and I would have a few hours a day away from her.

  Suddenly Alice stopped walking. She looked at me.

  ‘Maybe we should change to tennis too,’ she said.

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  ‘But we’re doing basketball. We agreed. Remember?’

  Alice shrugged.

  ‘We do basketball at school all the time. Tennis will be fun. Let’s change.’

  ‘But I don’t even like tennis,’ I said. That was only half true. I don’t mind it so much, but I’m really, really bad at it.

  Alice shook my arm.

  ‘Come on, Meg. Don’t be so boring. Let’s change to tennis.’

  Hazel was watching us with her arms folded. She smiled sweetly at me.

  ‘If you want to play basketball so badly, why don’t you just sign up for it?’ she said. ‘And Alice can do tennis with me.’

  I felt like crying.

  Alice and I always do the same stuff.

  We like the same stuff.

  I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

  Hazel went on.

  ‘Or are you afraid to do anything without your best friend?’

  I looked at Alice. She looked back at me, and gave an embarrassed kind of smile. Hazel grabbed the pen that was tied to the notice board with a dirty piece of string. She found the t
ennis list and wrote her name in big roundy letters with a long swirl on the last letter. Trust her to have a fancy signature.

  She handed the pen to Alice. Alice looked at me. I shrugged. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted her to do basketball with me, but I didn’t want to sound like a baby who depended on her for everything.

  Alice looked at Hazel, and then back at me. Then she wrote her name on the tennis list. She handed me the pen.

  ‘Tennis will be fun,’ she said. ‘Bet you’ll love it.’

  I stood there with the pen in my hand. I didn’t know what to do. I’m so, so bad at tennis it’s unbelievable. After five minutes on the court everyone would surely be laughing at me and wondering where such a loser had come from. Alice is a good tennis player, and Hazel probably had her own tennis court in the back garden, and was brilliant. I’d look totally stupid next to the two of them.

  And I’m not too bad at basketball.

  And Hazel’s remark about being afraid to do anything without Alice hurt – probably because it was true.

  My hand was actually shaking from the stress of trying to decide what to do. And then two girls behind me told me to hurry up, because they wanted the pen this year if possible. And so, I took a deep breath and reached over to the basketball list and wrote my name in small, shaky letters.

  Hazel gave a smile of triumph.

  ‘Good decision, Megan,’ she said. ‘If you’re not totally brilliant at sport, it’s probably best not to go for the tennis.’

  Alice gave me a funny look. Then she smiled and said,

  ‘We’ll be together for all the rest of the time anyway. It’s no biggie.’

  We set off, back upstairs to our bedroom. Hazel tucked her arm into Alice’s, like she owned her. Alice kindly put her other arm in mine, and we walked like that, as if the three of us were stuck together. I felt a bit stupid. Alice and I don’t usually do that arm-in-arm stuff.

  Up in the bedroom, Alice and Hazel swapped iPods. Of course Hazel had a super-duper video one with a sparkly cover and about a million songs downloaded on to it. I had an ancient Walkman at the end of my rucksack, but there was no way I was taking it out. I knew Hazel would only laugh at it. So I sat on my bed and tried not to feel like a total loser.

  After a while, Alice noticed that I was sitting on my bed looking cross. She came and sat next to me, and gave me one piece of her earphones, and we each half-listened to Hazel’s cool songs.

  All of a sudden I had a funny feeling that summer camp was going to be a bit more complicated than I had expected.

  Chapter four

  After breakfast the next morning (not a single bowl of porridge in sight), we went up to our room to get ready for our activities. Alice and I were already in our tracksuits, so we only had to clean our teeth and brush our hair. Alice had a big box of new hair-slides, and she lent me a really nice blue one. She tied my hair up, and then twisted it around and tied it with the slide so it looked great. After that, I helped her to plait her hair. Then we sat on our beds and waited for Hazel.

  Hazel had gone to breakfast in her tracksuit, but now she wanted to change. She spent ages deciding which of her many designer tennis dresses to wear. She tried each one on, and walked up and down the room like a model, asking Alice and me to decide for her. I knew she was just showing off, but I had to admit that she looked really lovely in each dress. Actually, she was so pretty she would have looked lovely in anything. Even my faded old tracksuit.

  At last she was ready, and we all stood up to go. Alice hadn’t brought a tennis racquet, but guess what? Hazel had two and was more than happy to lend one to her new best friend. As we went downstairs, Hazel walked next to Alice, telling her how ‘super-great’ it was that they were going to play tennis together. I wanted to laugh at Hazel, but I had no-one to laugh with, so I didn’t bother.

  Outside, Alice and Hazel had to go one way to the tennis courts and I set off the other way to the big sports hall for the basketball. I felt kind of lost and lonely – I hate doing stuff on my own.

  Alice ran after me.

  ‘I feel bad, Meg,’ she said. ‘I wish you were doing tennis too. Why don’t you change to our group? No-one will mind, and someone will lend you a racquet.’

  I was really, really tempted, but I knew it would have been a mistake. I’d heard Gloria telling one of the boys that after the first half-hour the tennis people would be divided into groups according to how well they could play. I knew for sure that I’d end up with the total beginners, and wouldn’t be anywhere near Alice. And I didn’t want to give Hazel any more reason to laugh at me. And so I was brave. I shrugged, and said, ‘thanks, but no thanks,’ and set off for my basketball session.

  * * *

  The basketball was really good. The two coaches were nice. We did loads of exercises and drills first, and then we played some matches. I played my very best, and was put on a very good team. There was a really funny boy called Sam on my team. He was the best player there by miles, but he wasn’t all conceited and horrible. He messed around a lot, and made us all laugh with his jokes. One of the girls on my team, Sarah, was really nice too, and she asked me to sit with her and her friends when we took a break for juice and biscuits. And the biscuits were chocolate ones, and we could eat as many as we liked.

  So I should have been really happy.

  But I wasn’t.

  I kept on thinking of Alice and Hazel together. Hazel would be laughing at Alice’s jokes, and Alice would be admiring Hazel’s tennis shots. At break-time they’d be sitting together, having such a great time, and not thinking of me at all.

  Everyone had lunch together. The tennis people were back late, so when I came out of the queue with my tray, I didn’t know where to sit. Sam was there with some of his friends, but I was too shy to go over and join them.

  Then Sarah saw me and called me over. I sat down with her, and we ate and chatted for a while. I couldn’t really concentrate on what Sarah was saying though, because I kept watching the door for Alice to come in. It was totally pathetic, I know. But I couldn’t help it.

  After about twenty minutes, the tennis group came in. They were all laughing and breathless. At the end of the group, Alice and Hazel were together. Hazel had her arm around Alice’s shoulders, and Alice didn’t even look embarrassed. This made me really cross, because Alice and I used always laugh at Melissa (the meanest girl in our school) when she and her friends went around like that.

  I waved, and Alice and Hazel came over and joined us as soon as they had picked up their food. They went on and on and on about their totally cool tennis coach, and how good-looking he was, and how he once played in Wimbledon, and how he had this special technique for teaching how to serve and how everyone had improved so much already. In the end I felt like throwing up all over my jelly and custard.

  After lunch we had art and French and then we went orienteering. Alice and I did everything together, as usual. This was different to usual though, because every time I turned around, Hazel was there beside us, bragging about something.

  In some ways, Hazel reminded me of Melissa – always boasting – always trying to be the centre of attention. The big difference was, Alice had always hated Melissa, but she seemed to love Hazel.

  Why couldn’t she see through her?

  Why couldn’t she see what she was really like?

  What was going on?

  As the afternoon went on, Alice must have noticed that I was feeling a bit jealous. She was really nice, and she was careful not to pay too much attention to Hazel, and she didn’t mention tennis once. It didn’t help though. With every minute that passed, I found myself hating Hazel even more.

  In art class I kept hoping that Hazel would get tangled up in the pottery wheel until she was all wrapped around it like a big long smiley snake.

  In French I kept hoping that she would be so bad at grammar that the teacher would send her to Mrs Duggan’s office for the day.

  And in orienteering, I kept hoping that she’d take
a wrong path in the woods, and never be seen again.

  I know this all makes me seem really, really mean. But I couldn’t help it – honest. You see Alice had been my best friend since we were toddlers. And in the past year when she’d been having such a hard time, I’d always been there for her. Whenever Alice got a crazy notion, I was there, waiting to help her. And I didn’t mind. That’s what friends do, isn’t it?

  And at Easter, when Alice finally got her greatest wish, and came back to live in Limerick, I was there waiting for her. I’d never given up on her. Ever.

  The way I saw it was this – there were a hundred girls and boys in the camp, and Hazel could have had any one of those for her best friend.

  Any one at all.

  As long as it wasn’t Alice.

  I only wanted Alice.

  Chapter five

  On the second morning, I woke up slowly. I opened my eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room. Then I smiled. It wasn’t a dream. I really was at summer camp.

  Then I looked over and saw Hazel, and my smile faded. She was still asleep, with her curly blonde hair spread out on the pillow, like she’d spent hours arranging it. I made a face. So it wasn’t a nightmare. She really did exist.

  Alice and Hazel were soon awake. We all got up and got dressed slowly. I picked my track-suit bottoms off the floor, and looked at them. They seemed even older and shabbier than they had the day before. I sighed as I pulled them on. I knew Alice would have lent me some of hers, but I was taller than her now, and I knew they’d have been too short.

  Alice must have seen my look.

  ‘Here,’ she said, as she reached into the wardrobe. ‘Why don’t you wear this t-shirt?’

  I smiled at her and took it. Maybe if I wore that, no-one would notice how old my track-suit bottoms were.

  This morning it only took Hazel ten minutes to decide which tennis dress to wear. Then she decided that Alice should be wearing a dress too. I knew Alice would prefer to play in shorts, or a track-suit, like she usually did, but somehow she ended up in one of Hazel’s dresses. It looked really great on her.