“Did I?” Dane’s smile faded some. “I always worried that I was dwelling on her too much—that maybe I should let you move on.”
“No, you gave me an opportunity to have memories of her that I never would have been able to have. I always thought that was great, but now—”
“—Now?” Dane looked around the lobby for any sign of Ella. He hurried his son toward the exit.
“Now I wonder if maybe that stopped you from being able to move on.”
“Not the dating talk again. I don’t want to hear it.” Dane jerked open the door of the hotel and ushered his son out.
“It’s what she would have wanted, Dad.”
“I know that.” Dane turned to look at his son. His voice held a hard edge. “You don’t think I know that? But maybe she was wrong. It’s not like she could see into the future. So what—she wanted me to be happy. What if dating isn’t going to make me happy? What if it’s the worst thing I could do?”
“So you want to be alone?”
“I like being alone. I like it. What’s so wrong with that?” He shook his head. “You know, relationships are not exactly all romance and joy. It’s not like there aren’t fights, heartaches, and compromises. Maybe I don’t want all that.”
“Wow, remind me not to get married.”
Dane looked over at Thomas. Then he looked back at the driveway in front of the hotel. “Don’t say that. When you find the right woman, it’s worth it. The thing is, your mother was the right woman for me.”
“And there can’t be more than one?”
“I thought maybe, but now I know for sure that she was it. Maybe other people have a few right people in the world, but I don’t think I’m one of them. I’d just really rather we drop the subject now, alright?”
“Okay. Sure, whatever you say.”
“Good.” He pointed a finger at Thomas as the taxi rolled to a stop. “And you are going to get married. You have to give me grandkids—just not for a while. Alright?”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Thomas grinned.
Dane let him get into the taxi first, then climbed in behind him.
As they pulled away from the hotel, he thought he caught sight of Ella on the sidewalk, but he forced himself to look away.
Chapter 24
After her talk with Jillian, Ella returned to her cottage and changed. With every piece of wet clothing that she peeled off, she thought about what Jillian had said. Was she really letting something amazing pass her by?
She closed her eyes for a moment and recalled the look in Dane’s eyes when she’d told him to go. Could he really forgive her for the things that she’d said?
Louis had always been so “all or nothing.” He’d demanded her loyalty, and if she even questioned him, he’d threaten to leave. She learned not to question. She learned to keep her mouth closed. When Louis left her, she swore she’d never hold her tongue for any man.
Unfortunately, that had led to her being a little sharp-tongued—or more accurately, very sharp-tongued—at times. It was hard for her to know whether Dane had truly meant what he’d said, and she desperately needed to know. But was she desperate enough to follow after him like a lovesick puppy?
When she looked at herself in the mirror, she knew that she was. The kiss that they’d shared was more powerful than any experience she’d ever shared with any man. It was more than sensual; it was as if she’d truly connected with him.
That level of intimacy was foreign to her. It scared the hell out of her, but she knew she wanted to experience it again. If she wanted another chance with Dane—she knew deep down that she did—then she’d have to get herself in the same place as he was. She knew that there was no chance that he’d come to her. She’d have to go to him.
That meant that she had to find a way to figure out where he was going to be. She figured her best bet was to be in the lobby of the hotel. If he was going to go anywhere, he’d have to come through the lobby. It made her feel a bit uneasy, but she couldn’t think of another way to find out what his plans were.
She dressed carefully. She made sure that her hair was perfect. Then she left the cottage and walked toward the hotel.
Along the way, she thought about turning back several times. She could just let all of it go. Dane could find someone else. He should find someone else. If she couldn’t make things work with Louis, did she really think it could be different with someone else?
She paused outside the lobby, prepared to turn back. It was better to just let things end. It was what he wanted.
But as she started to walk away, she saw Dane and Thomas outside the hotel. She watched them get into a taxi and noticed that another one pulled right up behind them. Even though she hadn’t planned it, things fell into place perfectly. How could that not be a sign?
She climbed into the taxi.
“Follow the taxi in front of you, please.”
“Whatever you say.” The driver trailed behind Dane’s taxi until it pulled up to a small Mexican restaurant. “You want to stop here?”
“Yes. But can you drive around back to drop me off?”
“No problem.” He drove around behind the restaurant.
Ella paid him and stepped out of the taxi. She walked cautiously to the front door.
Through the window she watched as the pair settled in at their table. It struck her that she could be considered a stalker at this point, but she wasn’t going to let that deter her. She was fairly certain that Dane wouldn’t have her arrested.
After taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door to the restaurant and stepped inside. Quietly she ordered her tacos, then headed for a table. Her heart pounded with anticipation as she neared the table where Thomas and Dane sat. This was it. This was her last chance to save face and run, but before she could, a voice drew her attention.
“Hey, that’s the woman you rescued, isn’t it?”
She heard Thomas pose the question and turned in time to see Dane look up at her. His grimace told her that he wasn’t pleased at the sight of her. It was clear that Thomas didn’t feel the same way.
He smiled at her. “Why don’t you come sit with us?” Thomas pushed out the chair beside him to invite her.
“Oh, thank you.” Ella smiled and approached the chair.
Dane stared hard out through the window of the restaurant. He refused to look at her when she sat down.
“Hello, Dane.”
“Ella.” He continued to study the parking lot as if it might hold the meaning of life.
Thomas looked between the two of them with a furrowed brow. “Dad, aren’t you going to eat your tacos?”
“I’m not hungry. You can have them.”
“But you haven’t even taken a bite.” Thomas looked between them again. “Is something wrong?”
“I’d rather not talk about it. Can you please just finish your meal?” Dane glanced over at Ella, then looked quickly away.
She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but Dane’s reception was colder than she could have imagined. Could he really turn his feelings off that easily?
“I’m sorry for intruding. It was rude of me.” Ella’s heart sank. She thought sharing a taco with him might fix everything. Perhaps things were far more broken than she’d imagined. “I’m just going to go.” She wrapped up her taco and stood up from the table.
“I’m sorry, he must be out of sorts or something.” Thomas scowled at his father. “He’s never this impolite.”
“Thomas, stop.” Dane glared back at him.
“You two enjoy your meal.” As Ella walked to the door of the restaurant, she felt a strong desire to turn back and look at Dane. But she knew that if she turned back to find him not looking in her direction, she’d be crushed. She pushed her way through the door and then waited for just a moment. Maybe he’d rush to stop her. Maybe he would call out to her.
After the moment passed with no attempt from Dane to draw her back, she let the door fall closed behind her.
Chapter 25
Dane watched as Ella walked away from the table. He had to bite down on the tip of his tongue to keep from calling out to her. His first instinct was to pull her close and ask her to stay, but he knew better than that.
She was obviously playing a game with him. She accused him of being manipulative, but she was the one that had told him to go, then showed up out of nowhere. But what were her intentions? Why was she even bothering?
As soon as Ella was out of earshot, Thomas leaned across the table. “Dad, what were you thinking? That was so rude. How could you treat her like that?”
“Be quiet, Thomas.” He glared at his son.
“No, I won’t. I know something is wrong, and you need to tell me what is going on here. Why would you just ignore her like that?”
“She asked me to.” He met his son’s eyes and took a deep breath. “We had a thing.”
“A thing? What kind of thing?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Not like that. Well, not exactly. It was very intense. After dinner we took a walk on the beach, and then today she met me to go snorkeling.”
“Oh? You didn’t tell me that.”
“You weren’t there for me to tell you.”
“Good point. So what happened? It went sour?”
“Let’s just say that Ella has a lot on her mind, and I have a lot to learn about dating. She asked me to go, so I did. I can’t say I was happy about that.”
“Dad, you old dog, you had your first hook-up.”
“No.” Dane snapped the word. “It wasn’t like that—not at all. I…” He looked down at his plate of food and sighed again. “I don’t know. I thought maybe we could explore what was between us, but she shut me out and told me that she didn’t want to do that. Now she just shows up to share a meal? You should have asked me first before you invited her.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Thomas balled his hands into fists. “It’s terrible that she’s trying to play games with you.”
“It’s not quite like that. I just don’t think either of us is ready to be in a relationship, and we pushed things a little too far. Feelings got hurt, terrible things were said, and I’m sure she was right, actually—it was better to just end it.”
“What kinds of things?”
“Just things.”
“Like what? I’ll set that woman straight.” Thomas narrowed his eyes.
“Don’t. Don’t talk like that about any woman. She has a right to her own feelings, just like I have a right to mine.”
“So just tell me what she said. She obviously got under your skin.”
“She said she felt sorry for your mother—that she’d ever been married to a man like me.”
“What?” Thomas stood up from the table. “I’ll tell her a thing or two!”
“Sit down, Thomas.”
“No, Dad! Nobody gets away with talking to you like that.”
“Sit down!” Dane pointed to his chair.
Thomas sank back down into it. Dane continued, “I said some terrible things too. I don’t know what it is about her, but when I’m with her, I have a hard time holding my tongue.”
Thomas stared across the table at him. “Are you in love with her, Dad?”
“I barely know her.” Dane took a bite of his taco.
“You don’t have to know her to know if you’re in love with her.”
Dane wiped his mouth with a napkin and shook his head. “Son, that might work in high school, but when you’re my age, you don’t just make decisions based on your feelings. Logic has to play a part. Do I feel something when I’m with her? Yes. I can’t deny that. Is either of us in a place where we could be in a sane healthy relationship? Absolutely not.” He shrugged. “I thought maybe I was ready, and she showed me that I’m not. I think I did the same for her. Just because we feel something for one another doesn’t mean that we’re good for each other.”
“I guess. But it seems to me that if you feel something for her, you might be able to figure out the rest.”
“Maybe—if the timing were different, if we weren’t both on vacation.” Dane finished the last of his taco. “What she wants and what I want are two different things.”
“What do you want, Dad?”
“Not a fling.” He frowned. “That’s just not my style.”
Thomas smiled. “I think you’ve made that clear.”
Dane nodded and finished his drink, but his eyes wandered back toward the door. If he was so certain about what he wanted, then why did it feel like he was lying to his son and to himself?
“Let’s go have some fun, Dad. I’ll help you forget about her.”
Dane looked back at his son. “You’re not too busy?”
“No way. How about you and me and some jet skis?”
“I could go for that.” Dane stood up from the table. His heart warmed at the thought of his son’s attempting to make him feel better.
“Oh, and there’s this drumming circle on the beach tonight. I thought we should check it out.”
Dane followed him to the door. “A drumming circle? That doesn’t seem like something you would enjoy.”
“I was—uh—invited.” Thomas grinned.
“Alright, I guess that’s a fair trade.” Dane laughed as Thomas called for a taxi.
His laughter fell short when he wondered about the possibility that Ella could still be nearby. He imagined that he’d wonder about that for the remainder of his vacation.
He did his best to put his focus back on Thomas. Maybe the boy was right. Maybe a little fun would help break the spell he was under. Still, as he climbed into the taxi beside his son, a subtle ache carried through his chest. He imagined dancing with Ella in the moonlight, to the beat of a soulful drum.
Chapter 26
The drive back to the hotel seemed to take forever. Ella was mortified. She’d put herself out there, only to have Dane shut her down without so much as a smile in her direction. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it wasn’t that. It made her wonder if she’d been mistaken about him. What did she really know about him?
She sighed and rested her head against the seat. She knew he was a widow who’d raised his son alone. No matter how she wanted to spin it, he was an amazing man. She really felt that this was the case. He was not the reason they weren’t together.
She closed her eyes and remembered his grip on her wrists. He was not the one who’d let go.
When she opened her eyes again, the taxi had pulled up to the front of the hotel. Ella’s heart fluttered as she thought about the possibility of running into Dane.
“Could you drop me off a little further away from the hotel, please?”
“That’s a new one.”
“I like to walk.”
“Okay.” He pulled the car around the semicircle driveway until she was several feet away from the door of the hotel.
She paid the driver, then stepped out of the taxi. There was no sign of the storm that had rushed across the beach that morning. It had been a huge turning point for her—the storm disappearing as quickly as the passion between her and Dane had.
She’d made an attempt. She’d placed herself in front of him. He’d made it clear that he was no longer interested. Now what she needed was a way to move on.
As she walked toward the back of the hotel, she noticed a large van parked behind it. Several men were unloading large drums from the back of the van. She smiled as she walked past them.
One of the men noticed her and waved. “Hey, beautiful, you should come out to the drumming circle tonight.”
Ella tilted her head to the side and brushed her hair back with her fingers. “Maybe I’ll do that.”
She continued to walk toward her cottage with a little more spring in her step. That was the reminder that she’d needed. She was still a desirable woman. Maybe Dane was willing to pass her up, but there were plenty of men who would be very interested in spending time with her. If she couldn’t get Dane out of her head, maybe she needed to find someone ne
w to distract her.
She opened the door to the cottage and sat down on the couch. The very thought of being with someone other than Dane made her entire body ache with dread.
“Great.” She shook her head and pulled out her phone. She dialed Nicole’s number. After a few rings her friend picked up.
“Hey, Ella, how’s your vacation going? I haven’t heard from you, so I figured it was good.”
“No. It’s not good. It’s all your fault.” Ella sprawled out on the couch and groaned.
“What? Why?”
“Because you put it in my head that maybe—just maybe—love was worth the risk.”
“It is—in my experience. What’s going on? Did you meet someone?”
“Yes, I did.” Ella turned over on her elbow and looked at the floor. “Even though we haven’t known each other long, I can’t shake him. Maybe it’s because he saved me.”
“He saved you?”
“I nearly floated out into oblivion, and he came out of nowhere to rescue me.”
“That’s a pretty good start to having feelings for each other.”
“But that’s just it, Nicole. These feelings are ridiculous. I had no idea that a man could make me feel this way. I think he’s broken me.”
“Why do you sound so miserable about it?”
“Because I am miserable. Because I messed it all up and now he wants nothing to do with me.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Ugh. Why do you think?” Ella sat up on the couch. “I thought—I don’t know. I guess I thought he was Louis all over again. Maybe he is.”
“You were scared. I get that. But has he done anything to make you think he’s like Louis?”
“Not exactly. It’s just that one minute he’s playing boy scout, and the next it’s beyond passionate between us. It’s confusing.”
“If it’s confusing for you, think how confusing it must be for him.”
“I know, I know. But in the moment, I wanted to be strong. I thought being strong meant turning him away. Now, he won’t even look at me.”
To Trust Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 2) Page 9
