Hamburgers, Homicide and a Honeymoon (The Charlotte Denver Cozy Mystery Series Book 5)

by Sherri Bryan

  "Okay, we'll see how we’re fixed. Number 196, did you say?”

  "Yeah. It’s the red-brick house with the black and white eaves and the post-box outside that says ‘Baker’—you can’t miss it. I hope you can make it.”

  "Okay, maybe see you tomorrow. Thanks for the invite. We’ll leave you to finish your meal in peace. Good luck for tonight, Frankie, and thanks for the save.”

  The young man made a Victory sign before expertly manipulating a piece of Kung Po Chicken into his mouth.

  ººººººº

  “Bet you didn’t see that coming, did you, Inspector Clouseau?”

  “Er, I think I prefer Inspector Poirot, if you don’t mind. And no, I didn’t. I must be losing my touch.” Nathan settled Charlotte’s jacket around her shoulders as they made their way out of the theatre.

  “Nice of Penny to invite us to her party. They seem like nice people, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, they seem harmless enough. Do you want to go?”

  Charlotte allowed herself a secret smile. It wasn't often that Nathan welcomed the company of strangers so readily. Years of being a policeman had made him instinctively wary but, over the past few days, Charlotte had seen a new side of him and she loved that he was so relaxed.

  “We can pop in for a while, I suppose. I mean, she’s been good enough to invite us so the least we can do is show our faces—we don’t have to stay for long if we don’t want to. By the way, did you notice that Adam Pitt bloke at the table? He looked really grumpy—and he was crotchety at the airport, too. I was thinking that maybe he doesn’t like the thought of strangers joining their little group. D’you know what I mean? He might feel uncomfortable with us being there, what with him being a minor celebrity and all.”

  Nathan shook his head. “No, I didn’t notice he was grumpy but we’re not all like Pollyanna, you know. Just because someone doesn’t have an ear to ear grin 24/7 doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. Maybe he was tired, or fed up. Who knows? And if he had an issue with being among strangers, I doubt he’d have come all the way to London for a tattoo awards ceremony.”

  “Or maybe he’s fed up because of the argument we saw him having with Penny.”

  “Or maybe…we should completely forget about Adam Pitt and his mood swings. And, incidentally, you’ve got that faraway look in your eyes. You know, the one you always get before you start meddling in something that’s none of your business.”

  “What look? I don’t have ‘a faraway look.’” Charlotte was indignant. “But if I did, why d’you suppose that is? I’ll tell you why, it’s because St. Eves has become the UK’s flippin’ murder hotspot over the past few years and I’ve had to become adept at solving mysteries.”

  “Actually,” Nathan pulled her towards him and kissed the top of her head, “you haven’t had to do anything, but that hasn’t stopped you turning into some amateur sleuth who won’t rest until justice is done, tearing around town on that bicycle of yours and channelling your inner Miss Marple.”

  Charlotte opened her mouth to retort but closed it again. “Hmmm, I suppose I am a bit like that, aren’t I?”

  “Yes, but I wouldn’t change you for anything.” Nathan tightened his grip on her shoulder. “Tell you what, how about we go back to the hotel, see if that group that’s supposed to be performing tonight is any good and then have a nightcap before turning in?” said Nathan.

  “Good idea.” Charlotte pulled her jacket tightly around her and put all thoughts of Adam Pitt from her mind. “I could murder a strawberry sherbet cocktail and a pickled egg!”

  Chapter 2

  Nathan pressed the buzzer on the panel next to the navy-blue front door. A crackling preceded a man’s voice, with music and laughter in the background. “Hi, it’s Charlotte and Nathan Costello. Penny invited us.”

  “Oh, right. Hang on.” They heard the man put his hand over the receiver and call out to Penny for confirmation of her invite. Seconds later, he was back. “Okay. Someone’ll be out in a sec.”

  “If only more people were as vigilant about letting people into their homes, there’d be a lot less crime.” Nathan took off his sunglasses and put them in his shirt pocket. “People like this are an asset to any neighbourhood—I just wish everyone was as cautious.”

  “Yes, Chief Inspector.” Charlotte turned to her husband and smiled sweetly. “But please promise me you won’t make that a subject for conversation this afternoon. This is a party, not the Resident of the Year awards.”

  Nathan’s retort was cut short as the front door was flung open by Frankie—tattooist and dumpling-catcher extraordinaire—a winner’s sash draped around his neck and a large, Champagne-filled silver trophy in his hand from which he appeared to be drinking copiously. His wide smile was the antithesis of the snarling face on the back of his head and it was obvious there was cause to celebrate.

  “I take it congratulations are in order?” Nathan shook the man’s hand.

  “Certainly are. First place, no less! I’m chuffed to bits. Anyway, come in. Come in and join the party.” He led the way through the spacious, black and white tiled entrance hall and into the living room.

  “Oh my, what a gorgeous house. I bet those are all original features.” Charlotte pointed at the ceiling roses, the cornicing, and the large bay windows with stained glass panels.

  “Yeah, they are. Wait till you see the garden.” Frankie led them outside to where the guests were congregated on and around a tiled patio, either reclining on loungers or sitting in the shade of swinging chairs.

  Penny and Amy’s London home was a handsome Edwardian house. Their childhood home, frequented so rarely in recent times since the family had moved away from London, had become theirs when their parents had handed the keys to their eldest daughter six years previously and told her to share it fairly with her younger sister.

  Since then, it had become a welcome bolthole for the sisters and their friends and, over the years, it had proved its worth, not only as the ideal party venue, but also as a haven of peaceful solitude.

  Large rooms with high ceilings and solid walls had been soundproofed by the sisters to allow their parties to go on until dawn without disturbing the neighbours. In the warmer weather, gatherings spilled out into the established garden, complete with fruit trees, country garden shrubs and herbs, and a hot tub big enough for ten situated in the shadow of an ornate pergola.

  “Charlotte! You made it!” Penny greeted her, arms outstretched.

  “We did. Thanks for inviting us. I’m not sure I’ve introduced my husband yet? This is…”

  “Nathan Costello, St. Eves’ Chief Inspector.” Penny finished Charlotte’s sentence as she shook Nathan’s hand. “Hi, nice to meet you. I thought I recognised you at the airport but Adam confirmed it was you after we saw you in the restaurant yesterday. It’s not always easy to place people when you see them out of their usual environment, is it? Anyway, let me introduce you to everyone.

  “This is my boyfriend, Owen, our friends, Ruby and her husband, Adam, and Adam’s assistant, Eddie. And over there,” she pointed to a couple playing cricket with little Zac, “are Owen’s cousin, Danny, and his wife, Susan, who live just around the corner and who are the best babysitters. And that’s my sister, Amy, over there and you already know Frankie, our triumphant tattoo artist, who’s in rather a celebratory mood, as you can see!”

  As Frankie danced on the grass with Amy, his sash now draped around both of them, Charlotte marvelled at the tattoos on the young woman’s body—two snakes, one of fire and one of ice, entwined and reaching up her right side from her ankle to the top of her thigh, another of a peacock, its tail feathers spreading across her back and shoulders, and a third of a fallen angel on her forearm. Each one was a work of art on skin.

  “They’re wonderful, aren’t they?” said Penny. “They’re what won Frankie the prize—Amy’s his model, you see.”

  “Oh, I see. Well, I can see how they would have won him first prize—they’re incredib
le. I don’t have any myself—too scared of needles—but I can appreciate them on other people. I’ve never seen one like Frankie’s got on the back of his head before, though!”

  “Oh, you mean Freddy?” Penny smiled. “That’s what Frankie calls it. Yes, it’s unusual, isn’t it? That’s Amy’s work—she’s been training to become a tattooist for a while. Personally, I think Frankie was crazy to let her loose on his head—I mean, if she’d messed it up, he would have been wearing a hat for an awfully long time but, thankfully, the end result was pretty good.” She looked at her watch.

  “Well, I expect you’d like a drink? If you tell Eddie what you’d like, he’ll make up whatever you want.” She gave Charlotte’s arm a friendly squeeze. “Right, Owen, come and help me bring the meat out, will you?”

  Introductions over, Adam Pitt made a point of coming over to shake Nathan’s hand and engaging him in conversation. Although he was pleasant enough, Charlotte got the distinct impression that he was really only interested in talking to Nathan so, when the conversation turned to politics, she took the opportunity to slink off in search of a more light-hearted discussion.

  She made her way over to Ruby Pitt who was sitting alone on a large swing chair, a large glass of wine in her hand and the brim of a sizeable straw hat covering half her face.

  “Hi. Do you mind if I share the seat with you?”

  Ruby pulled back her hat to reveal round sunglasses with pink-mirrored lenses, and smiled. “Not at all. Come and take the weight off your feet. When’s your baby due?”

  “August 11th and it can’t come soon enough.” Charlotte manoeuvred herself onto the chair, not entirely convinced that she wouldn’t topple out of it out on one of its backward swings. “It’s not easy getting on one of these, is it? Maybe I’d be better off in one of the hammock chairs.”

  Ruby rocked the swing gently with her foot. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine—it’s a strange sensation at first but you’ll get used to it. It’s just like being on a swing when you were a kid but you can’t hold on with both hands. We’ll chat—it’ll take your mind off falling on your backside!

  “So, this is your first baby, I take it? Do you know if it’s going to be a boy or a girl?”

  Charlotte shook her head. “No, we want it to be a surprise. We think it’s better that way. Do you have any children?” It was a perfectly innocent question but, by the reaction it garnered from Ruby, one which Charlotte wished she hadn’t asked immediately it had left her lips.

  Ruby visibly tensed, her smile forced and her voice tight. “No. We don’t. I wanted them after we got married but Adam was always too busy. You’ve heard the phrase ‘married to the job?’ Yeah, well, I reckon Adam must have been the inspiration behind it. Even though he’s been retired for ages, he hardly ever has any free time. He’s either on the phone to a business associate or looking for the next big thing to put his money into. He was a total workaholic when I met him and he’s a total workaholic now. Silly me for thinking that early retirement would mean we’d have the time to concentrate on raising a family.”

  Her tinkly laugh didn’t quite hide the bitter edge to her voice. “He gave me this, though.” She held out her hand and the sunlight caught the huge rock in her engagement ring, casting rainbows all around. “He seemed to think it would make up for the absence of a baby.” She laughed again, a hint of melancholy replacing the bitterness. “Anyway, there’s still time but not much. I’m 43 and Adam’s 61. Tick-tock, if you know what I mean.” She raised her glass before downing the contents in one and refilling it immediately.

  “Are you going in the hot tub?” Charlotte was as keen to change the subject as she was for someone else to join them. As pleasant as Ruby was, the last thing Charlotte wanted was to be stuck alone in the company of an inebriated woman who was in charge of how high the chair would swing.

  “Yes, I’m definitely going in.” Ruby pulled her long hair up into a ponytail. “We’re late using it this year—usually, it’s the first thing we get set up but, when we arrived, Zac and Penny went down with some sort of 24-hour stomach bug, then Owen got it and then me, Amy, and Eddie. Frankie and Adam were the only ones who managed to avoid it but Frankie was too wound up thinking about the awards to be bothered with the hot tub, and Adam was too busy on the phone to his investment broker. What about you?”

  “No, I don’t think I’d better risk it. I’m not bothered, though—as long as I’ve got a cold drink and someone to chat to, I’ll be happy. Ah, speaking of drinks.” She was grateful to see Eddie approach with the non-alcoholic cocktail she’d asked for. His arrival gave her a brief respite from a potentially draining conversation with Ruby.

  “Here you are—one mango, passionfruit, and strawberry fizz.” Eddie pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. “You’ve got the café on the marina, haven’t you? ‘Charlotte’s Plaice’—that’s it, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, that’s right. Have you been in?”

  “Yeah, it was a while ago though.”

  Charlotte was embarrassed that she didn’t recognise him and she knew she definitely would have if she’d met him. Although quite unremarkable-looking, Eddie had the biggest dimples she’d ever seen and towered above her at well over six foot tall. “I’m sorry, I could lie and tell you that I remember but I don’t. I’m in the kitchen most of the time, you see, so I don’t see half the customers. If you come in again, make a point of saying hello, won’t you?”

  “I definitely will. I don’t come down to the marina much—usually too busy during the day with work—but I took my mum there one day a couple of years ago for Sunday lunch when Adam and Ruby went to Paris for a long weekend. She loves marinas.”

  “You’re right about it being a “long weekend”—the longest weekend of my life,” interrupted Ruby. “We were only there for three days and it rained cats and dogs from the minute we arrived to the minute we left. Adam spent most of the time on his laptop talking to anyone but me, and I spent most of mine in the hotel shop and ordering room service. The City of Love? Hmpf, not for us, it wasn’t. Was it, Adam? Adam!” When there was no response forthcoming from her husband, she set about opening another bottle of wine, muttering under her breath.

  Charlotte shaded her eyes and looked over to Adam who was still deep in conversation with Nathan. What an ignorant pig. I could be doing him a disservice but, as far as first impressions go, he hasn’t made a very good one with me.

  “Anyway,” Eddie continued. “It was a fantastic lunch—my Mum raved about the Yorkshire puddings for ages afterwards!”

  “Good, I’m glad she enjoyed it. I hope you’ll be able to bring her again—and perhaps I could meet her next time?”

  Their conversation came to a halt as Owen and Penny reappeared, their arms laden with trays of meat.

  “Right, you lot—food’ll be about an hour and I hope you’re hungry because there’s a lot of it.” Owen prodded the coals, and the embers glowed as they spluttered and spat. “As soon as this food’s done, there’s a space in that hot tub with my name on it.” He dodged a wayward fragment of lava-hot coal as it whistled past his ear.

  “Owen, you’re going to have someone’s eye out if you don’t leave those flippin’ coals alone!” Penny held out an ice-cold bottle of beer with a wedge of lime sticking out of the neck. “Come and sit down and wait for them to turn white, for goodness’ sake.”

  She rolled her eyes at Charlotte and Ruby. “Honestly, he’s like this every time we have a barbecue. He doesn’t have the patience to wait until the coals are hot enough and then the meat doesn’t cook properly. Remember last year, Rube?”

  Ruby rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that. All the food was burnt on the outside and completely raw on the inside. My burger was positively mooing, it was so rare.”

  “Don’t you mean raw?” Penny pulled a face.

  “Well, yes, that, too.”

  “Ha-ha, very amusing. Glad you all found it so entertaining.” Owen went to check on the coals again.
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  “’Scuse me. Sorry to interrupt.” Penny’s sister, Amy, came running over. “Pen, can I have a word? Over here.”

  The sisters stepped away as Ruby began to give a full-blown account of the previous year’s barbecue. Charlotte listened with one ear…the other one was earwigging on Amy and Penny’s conversation.

  “Can I borrow your swimsuit? The one with the high neck?”

  “What, the yellow one?”

  “No, the green halter-neck one with the sunflowers on it.”

  “Oh, right. Yeah, if you want. It’s in the top drawer in the bedroom.”

  The young woman ran off, with Frankie following close behind.

  “So, you said you all come to support Frankie every year. Are you all clients of his?” asked Charlotte as Penny re-joined them.

  “We’re not.” Owen’s cousin, Danny, and his wife came over to join them with Zac, who was pink-faced and puffing after his game of cricket. “But you probably guessed that anyway, seeing as we live 300 miles away from his tattoo shop!”

  “And Adam’s not, either.” Ruby took off her sunglasses and lowered her voice. “To be honest, I don’t really know why he’s here. Not only does he not have any tattoos, but he’s never shown any interest in the awards before. I’ve no idea why he suddenly decided to come along. When I asked him why, he said he wanted a change of scenery. I mean, I love him to death but having him here is a bit like having the headmaster looking over your shoulder while you’re at a school disco.”

  Owen returned, crunching on an ice cube and rubbing his forehead to counteract the brain freeze. “It’s all very well him wanting a change of scene,” he said, quietly, “but it’s completely ruined Eddie’s trip. He only found out Adam was coming the day before we travelled—he told him to get him on the same flight as the rest of us. You’re a good friend of Frankie’s, aren’t you, Eddie, so I’m sure you’d have liked to celebrate with him, but I can’t imagine you feel you can let your hair down with the boss here, can you?”