Crazy In Love

by Yoshe

  When he arrived upstairs, two police officers walked in, with Brandi behind them. She’d already filled them in on the story, so they came ready to remove Yadi from Sean’s residence, in handcuffs. One of the officers looked down and saw the Ruger in Sean’s hand.

  “No, officer, I’m a CO and this is my off-duty weapon!” Sean put the gun on the banister. “I got my badge upstairs. The suspect is downstairs,” Sean said, holding on to his pounding head.

  However, before anyone could reach the steps, they heard a single gunshot coming from downstairs. When they got down there, they discovered Yadi in a bloody heap on the floor. One of the police officers kneeled down to check her pulse. That was when he saw the gunshot wound by the right side of Yadi’s temple and the warm gun in her hand.

  Her hair was matted with blood and brain matter was scattered all over Sean’s hardwood floors and the wall nearest to her body. On the side that the bullet entered, it looked as if her head had deflated. Brandi screamed loudly and covered her eyes, as the officers walked over to Yadi’s limp body with their guns drawn. The partner looked at the second officer, who still had his gun drawn. He motioned for him to put the gun down.

  “She’s dead,” the officer said. Sean stood there in shock, while Brandi put her hand to her mouth. Sean looked behind the bar and noticed that Yadi’s gun was missing. Guilt ran through his veins and he felt personally responsible for her death. Why didn’t I hold on to the gun? , he thought.

  “Oh my God! Yadi, why? Why here? Why this?” Sean uttered, as tears fell from his eyes.

  As Brandi wailed loudly in the background, she realized that she and Yadi had much more in common with other than Sean Daniels . . . .

  Chapter 42

  The next morning, Vanita called Captain Phillips several times to find out the whereabouts of Yadi Cruz. She hadn’t come to work and she didn’t call in sick. Captain Phillips sat in her office and tried to figure out what was going on in the visits. First, Sean Daniels went missing a few weeks ago and now Yadira Cruz. Vanita, who didn’t have any idea what was going on, just went along with her normal routine until the phone rang in the visit area. It was Sean on the other line.

  “Hey, Sean! How does it feel to be home?” Vanita asked, while conducting her obligatory duties at the same time.

  Sean cut her off. “Yo’, Nita, I got some real bad news,” he whispered.

  Vanita sat in a chair and held the receiver tightly. Her heart dropped. Her gut feeling told her that it was about Yadi.

  “What, Sean? What is it?”

  “Yadi is dead. She killed herself in my house last night.” There was silence on both ends of the phone.

  “She did what, she did who? I, I don’t understand, Sean.”

  “Yadi killed herself in my house. I, I can’t get into the details over the phone.” Sean was choking up. “Look, Nita. Just come by my house after work.” The phone went dead.

  “Captain Phillips!” Vanita screamed out, running out the control room to her supervisor’s office.

  Devin was asleep on his old bed in his mother’s house. His feet were hanging off his old full-sized bed but it felt good nonetheless. At least he had a place to stay after Yadi got him kicked out of her co-op apartment. Suddenly, his mother burst into the bedroom, scaring him so badly he almost had a heart attack.

  “Oh my God, Devin! Wake up, baby, wake up!” she screamed. Devin hopped up and looked at his mother.

  “What happened, Ma? What’s wrong?” he asked, his heart beating a mile a minute. He watched his mother break down in tears.

  “I . . . I was just on the phone with Yadi’s mother and, and—” she stammered.

  Devin was growing impatient. “Is it Jada? What is it, Ma’?”

  “Yadira killed herself last night. She shot herself in the head.”

  Devin fell off his bed onto his knees. “Noooo!” he yelled.

  Meanwhile, in an upstate prison, Shamari hadn’t been able to call his mother because they had moved him from Downstate, a maximum security prison to Greene Correctional Facility, a medium security, located in Coxsackie, New York. He sat around trying to keep himself busy until he was able to call his mother; he knew that she was probably worried sick about him.

  Shamari seemed to be handling the situation pretty well, although he longed to be home. Unlike some of his cellmates, he knew that freedom was nine months away. Shamari was careful to keep his time a secret from the other inmates, afraid that someone would be jealous and try to pull him into negativity. He knew that he had someone who relied on him being there and that was his son, who had not asked to come into this world.

  Shamari picked up the Sunday newspaper and began reading the articles. Naturally, his favorite ones were the crime articles, reminding him of things that he didn’t want to do to ever end up in jail again. As Shamari read on he came to page five of the Daily News and a small article caught his attention. Reading it, he frowned and looked around at the other inmates, who were lazily scattered throughout the housing area. He leaned back in the chair and shook his head.

  “Miss Cruz is dead? Killed herself in fellow officer’s home?” Shamari blinked at the name. “Correction Officer Sean Daniels?” Shamari hopped up and to try to see if he can use the phone.

  As the days went on, it was uproar in Yadira’s facility, due to her suicide. Although it wasn’t far-fetched because of her behavior, no one saw that day coming. Yadira had all the signs of a person with a mental condition, but not suicidal. This was a result of her refusal to acknowledge her problem and get help, combined with her love addiction and the stress of trying to have some normalcy in her life. This led Yadi came to her breaking point. Unfortunately, it was a tragic end for her and for everyone involved.

  Chapter 43

  As Sean patched up the hole that Yadi had shot in his ceiling, he thought about all the things that he had been through with her. Damn, he thought as he climbed down the ladder, a touch of white paste on his face.

  He felt sad about her death, but he got pissed thinking about her selfishness. Her funeral was in another day or so and he didn’t want to go. Out of respect, he was going to force himself to put on his dress uniform, the uniform law enforcement personnel usually wore for the funerals of their fellow officers. He was a certified wreck, but unfortunately, his troubles were not over. He would now have to answer to the Department of Corrections, and of course, Yadi’s concerned parents. They deserved to know the truth.

  Sean went to his ringing house phone and answered it. He was in no mood to be bothered with anyone and he expressed that when he picked up his phone abruptly.

  “Hello?” he shouted into the phone.

  “Mr. Daniels?” the female voice stated on the phone.

  Sean frowned. “Who’s this?” he asked, suspiciously.

  “This is Yadira’s mother. How are you holdin’ up, sweetie?

  Sean wondered how she got his phone number. Now he felt trapped. He didn’t know what to say to Yadi’s mother and he felt his face flush from embarrassment. What do you say to a mother whose child committed suicide in your presence? Was she going to blame him for what happened?

  “Oh, um, hello, Mrs. Cruz. I apologize for the way I answered the telephone. It’s just that I had been gettin’ so many phone calls the past couple of days.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence. “I understand, young man, I do.” Mrs. Cruz sighed. “I wanted to speak with you because I can only imagine what you are goin’ through with everything that’s transpired over the last couple of days. And I wanted to let you know that I don’t blame you for the death of my daughter.

  “I know you were wonderin’ how I got your number. I spoke to her friend, Vanita, and she gave me your information. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “No, I don’t mind. I knew that I would have to speak to you eventually and I knew that you would probably want answers. I just thought that this was another sympathy call. I don’t deserve the sympathy, Yadira and your family does.”


  Mrs. Cruz sighed. “Well, Sean, it’s always hard for mothers to lose a child. I would think that my daughter would be buryin’ me, if anything. Yadira was a lovely woman with a good heart and good intentions, but unfortunately she spent the majority of her life searchin’ for somethin’, somethin’ that she had more than her share of, and that was love. Besides, this was not her first suicide attempt. She attempted suicide a few times before, but we were always able to talk her out of it. When Yadira was sixteen, I had her committed for a few months, you know, tryin’ to make sure she had the proper treatment. She was on medication for a while and then she just stopped takin’ it.”

  “I didn’t know that. But what I don’t understand is how did she become a correction officer? You have to pass a psychogical exam before you can become a CO.”

  “An old friend of the family is a psychologist for the NYPD. He helped push her paperwork through. I didn’t want her to take the job because I felt that it was too stressful of an environment for her to work in, considerin’ her mental state. Of course, Yadira always butted heads with me about everything and she took the job anyway.” Mrs. Cruz sighed. “Sean, Yadi sent me a letter. I just received it today.”

  “What does the letter say, Mrs. Cruz?” Sean asked, wanting to hang up the phone. He didn’t want to be rude to Yadi’s mother but he also did not want to relive what occurred that night.

  Sean listened as Mrs. Cruz quietly shuffled through paper. “Sean, I can’t read everything on this paper but I will say that my daughter loved you. She thanked you for takin’ her and Jada into your home. Also, she wrote something very disturbin’. I want to tell you because it is only fair that you have some type of closure.” Mrs. Cruz sighed. “She said here that she paid someone to assault you in your home.”

  There was complete silence on the phone, as they both took in the contents of the letter. Sean was mortified when Yadi’s mother confirmed his worst fear. He always felt that Yadi had something to do with his incident.

  “Sean, I am so sorry. We didn’t raise Yadi like this, and me and her father gave her the best of everything,” Mrs. Cruz paused. “Look, Sean, I just want you to stay home and get well,” instructed Mrs. Cruz, interrupting the silence. “I didn’t raise her like this and I can’t tell you how I feel right now. I can only imagine how you feel about all of this.”

  Sean sighed. “Mrs. Cruz, why did Yadira do this? I never did anything to her but treat her with the utmost respect, and now I’m findin’out that she had set me up?”

  Sean shook his head, thinking about all the things he went through with Yadi over the course of a few months.

  “I know, sweetheart, I know but you know what? It’s all over now. We have to move on. Yadira forced our hand. Don’t let this confession make you bitter.”

  “You’re right. I don’t wanna be bitter and I’m pretty sure you don’t wanna be, neither. But how can someone that claims to love all of us be so selfish? How did Yadi just pick up a gun and end her life without even thinkin’ about how it would affect her loved ones, especially her daughter?”

  Mrs. Cruz smiled. “That’s true. I can’t argue with you not one bit. I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t your fault. You can move on with a clear conscience. Oh, I also wanted to thank you for takin’ Yadi and my granddaughter in. I appreciate that.”

  “It was no problem, Mrs. Cruz. You take care and my deepest sympathy to you and Mr. Cruz.”

  “Good-bye, sweetheart.”

  “Good-bye, Mrs. Cruz.”

  Sean hung the phone up and leaned against the wall for support. It was terrible the way that everything ended between him and Yadira. Never in a million years would he have thought she would have killed herself, let alone in his home. He knew then that it was time for him to settle down; no more playing the field. Sean never wanted to experience anything remotely close to what transpired between him and Yadira Cruz.

  As Sean attempted to get his house back in order, his bell rang. He looked out the door and saw a man standing outside. He went to grab his Ruger and walked toward the door.

  “Who is it?” Sean screamed from behind the secured glass door.

  “What’s up, Daniels? It’s me, Devin. Jada’s father,” the stranger responded.

  Sean frowned and opened the door. Devin stood on his stairs and held his hand out for a handshake. Sean relented but didn’t invite Devin inside. He wasn’t sure why Yadi’s daughter’s father was there in the first place.

  “I’m sorry to bother you, man. I just needed to talk to you. Is it okay if I come in?”

  Sean sighed and reluctantly let Devin inside. They both stood in the foyer area, looking at each other for a brief moment.

  “I know you heard a lot of negative shit about me, man, and I just wanna clear the air. My daughter, Jada, always talks about you, and if she likes you, then I know you must be a pretty cool dude.”

  Sean smiled when he thought about Jada. She was definitely a beautiful little girl. Now her mother was gone forever.

  “Yeah, Jada is my little buddy,” Sean said, with a smile on his face.

  Devin paused. “Well, I’m sorry about what happened here, man. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before Yadi broke down.”

  “Damn,” Sean said.

  “We all knew, but she refused to take her meds,” said Devin, with a spaced-out look on his face. He sighed. “Look, Daniels, I’m here to tell you that I loved Yadira for many years and I guess she loved me, but she used to drive me crazy with all the accusations and the constant abuse. Just put it like this; our relationship was one big roller coaster! She caused property damage to my cars, emptied my bank accounts, made allegations against me, got me arrested, and the list goes on. I stayed with her crazy-ass on the strength of my daughter.”

  Devin continued to vent. “When Jada was born, it only got worst. I have other children, too, but I refused to allow my other children to witness her outbursts. All that shit just made me resent her ass even more, but I was stuck because of the child support; I’m already paying for my two other kids. I couldn’t afford to leave.”

  Sean looked at Devin in amazement, and while he talked, everything finally made sense. He thought about all the times Yadi came to work and complained to him and Vanita about Devin. How he didn’t want to touch her, how he was so cold toward her. If she behaved anything like the way that Devin described, Sean understood why Devin didn’t want to be bothered.

  “All this time I thought it was you, man. That is, until she start fuckin’ with me! Beautiful woman but very insecure—” Sean began.

  “Nah, Daniels. Yadira wasn’t well. That woman brought out the worst in me, somethin’ that I hope will never resurface again. Like I said, I stayed because I was fearful for my daughter.”

  Sean shook Devin’s hand. “Well, thank you for comin’ through, man. I needed to hear that from your mouth. I didn’t wanna keep blamin’ myself for what happened here.”

  Devin took a deep breath. “I just feel sorry for my daughter and Yadi’s parents. I have to admit, she went out Yadira style, though.” Devin opened the front door and looked back at Sean as he was walking out. “Keep your head up, Daniels.”

  “You, too, Devin. I’ll be seein’ you around.”

  Sean watched as Devin walked down the stairs and pulled off in his truck. It had been a long day. Sean walked up to his bedroom. Once he was comfortable in his bed, he finally trailed off into a deep slumber.

  Chapter 44

  A few months after Yadi’s suicide, Brandi was finally able to gather up enough strength to see Shamari. The drive up to Greene Correctional Facilty, located in Coxackie, New York was scenic but unnerving. Brandi glanced in the rearview mirror at her grandson, who was asleep in his infant car seat as she made her way up the winding road to the prison. She looked at the drab concrete walls and the barbed-wired fence surrounding the prison that had to be at least seven stories high.

  Brandi took a deep breath and parked her car in the visitor’s parking lot. Prison v
isits were customary for her, considering her brothers were incarcerated a few times. She would have never thought that her own son would be locked behind those walls too, but unfortunately, it was a bleak reality.

  After a tedious search process, Brandi sat at the table, waiting for Shamari to walk out on the visit floor. The baby was asleep in her lap when she spotted Shamari walking toward them from the back of the prison.

  Not having seen her son in three months, Brandi began to cry, while inspecting him from head to toe. The cut he received while doing time on Rikers Island had healed and didn’t look as bad as it did when she first saw it.

  “Oh my God, Shamari!” she announced. “You look so good! You look nice and healthy.”

  Shamari hugged and kissed her on the cheek before sitting down. He held his arms out and Brandi happily passed him his son.

  “Thank you, Ma’. So do you.” Shamari stared at his son. “Ma’, he’s so beautiful! Look at my boy, Ma’!” Shamari beamed, rubbing his baby’s head.

  Brandi smiled. “That’s your son, baby! He’s a good little baby, too.”

  Shamari kissed his mother again. “I miss you, Ma’. You look like you lost a little weight over there.”

  Brandi held her head down. “It’s been crazy these past months, Shaki. Not talking to you, Sean and our problems.”

  “Miss Cruz’s suicide.”

  Brandi looked at her son. “How did you know about that?”

  “Ma’, c’mon. We read the paper in here and watch the news. I heard about what happened. The papers said something about her kidnapping somebody but no name was mentioned. They said it was three people involved. Were you there that day?”

  “Yeah. She made me drive her to Sean’s house with a gun pointed to my head.”