Quinn's Honor

by Shirleen Davies

  “Eejit board should be fixed.”

  “Aye, Quinn. As should many things in this town. They all must wait their turn.” Brodie studied him, seeing the tension in his expression, hearing the edge in his voice. “What’s bothering you?”

  “Nothing.”

  Brodie crossed his arms. “Aye. I can see by your expression everything is fine.”

  Quinn ignored the sarcasm. “I came to town for supplies and to talk to you.”

  The smirk on Brodie’s face disappeared. “What is it? Is Ma all right? Someone hurt?”

  “Nae. Your family is fine.” Quinn glanced around, spotting the Gold Dust down the street. “If you’ve the time, I’ll buy you coffee.”

  Brodie followed him, nodding to passersby, wondering what was so important Quinn had to make a trip to town in the middle of the week. Stepping inside the hotel restaurant, he scanned the room, hoping to see Nate.

  Quinn glanced over his shoulder when Brodie stopped behind him. “Are you looking for someone?”

  “Aye. Nate Hollis.”

  “Your deputy?”

  Brodie nodded. “It’s been a few days since I’ve seen him. Sam and Jack tell me he’s been in the office, doing his usual rounds. It’s just…” He pursed his lips, shaking his head. “Something doesn’t seem right.”

  “Take a seat anywhere, gentlemen.”

  Quinn spotted a young woman he’d never seen before, nodding to her as they found a table near the window. “Is she new?”

  Removing his hat, Brodie set it on the chair next to him, focusing on the girl for the first time. “Guess she is. I don’t get in here much, what with Maggie getting up early to fix breakfast. She says a man needs a full belly before starting work.”

  Quinn studied his cousin’s face, seeing nothing but love when he spoke of his wife. He’d seen the same look on Colin’s face when he mentioned Sarah. Quinn worried he might show the same expression when he spoke of Emma. He hoped not.

  “You’re lucky. She’s been good for you.”

  Quinn watched the serving girl move toward them. Most days, he’d be attracted to the young woman, would engage her in conversation, learn enough to know if she were experienced or an innocent. He stayed away from the latter. Today, he had no interest in anything more than a cup of coffee and conversation with his cousin. They ordered, then settled back in their chairs.

  Brodie looked at him. “You could have the same…with Emma.”

  Quinn cocked his head. “Emma’s just another lass. A friend, nothing more.”

  Brodie blew across his cup of coffee, cooling the hot brew, then took a sip. Setting the cup down, he leaned forward. “You keep telling yourself that, lad, and someday you might believe it.”

  He didn’t answer, afraid Brodie would detect more in his voice than Quinn wanted to reveal.

  “You know, the only person you’re fooling is yourself. Aunt Audrey thinks you’ve wasted enough time denying your feelings for Emma.”

  Quinn’s eyes widened. “Ma said that?”

  “Aye, she did. Maybe you should have a talk with your ma. She’s a smart woman.”

  An uncomfortable tension surrounded Quinn, catching him by surprise. It squeezed his chest, making him feel light-headed, forcing him to confront the excuses he’d used to stay away from Emma.

  “I’m not the type of man you or Colin are. Committing to one woman isn’t important to me.”

  “I believe that’s as much a lie as you making yourself believe you don’t care for the lass.”

  Quinn opened his mouth to deny Brodie’s words, then snapped it closed. Finishing the coffee, he signaled the girl for more. When she left, he leveled a hard stare at his cousin. “I don’t need to explain my decisions to you, Ma, or anyone else.”

  Brodie waited a moment, then sighed. “All right. What do you want to talk about?”

  “Uncle Ewan wants to hire more men. At least six, maybe more.”

  “That’s a good number. Where does Pa want to use them?”

  “Most will be working at the new property with me, Caleb, and Cam. Colin may keep a couple at Circle M. Cam brought word today when Uncle Ewan sent him over.”

  Guilt surrounded Brodie as he thought of all the work with the expanded land. He still hadn’t made a decision, hoping to delay it as long as possible.

  Quinn could see the lines of worry on Brodie’s face, the internal struggle in his expression.

  “Brodie, even if you were at the ranch, the need is greater now. You being there wouldn’t replace the work of six additional men.” Quinn glanced around, then lowered his voice. “Don’t make a decision based on what Circle M needs. Do what’s best for you and Maggie.”

  Brodie’s jaw worked. He hated letting his family down and wished he didn’t enjoy his work as sheriff so much. The decision would be easier if he’d taken the job strictly for the money.

  Quinn cut into his thoughts. “Do you know of anyone who’s looking?”

  “There are always men around the docks looking for work. Same with Buckie’s Castle or any of the saloons in town. A good number will be green, but you and the lads can teach them.”

  “Aye, we can.”

  “I’ll ask around, let Sam, Nate, and Jack know the ranch needs more men.” The mention of Nate had Brodie’s stomach tightening. He needed to talk to his deputy. First, he had to find him.

  “There’s something else. It’s about Big Jim.”

  Brodie’s expression grew serious. “Is he doing worse?”

  “No worse and no better. It’s his foreman, Boyd Doggett. Cam and I stopped by this morning. They’re getting ready to take the herd to Sacramento.”

  “It’s not unusual to move a herd this time of year.”

  “Nae, it isn’t. I’ve this feeling, though…” Quinn couldn’t explain to himself what about the man bothered him, making it hard to describe his sense of dread to Brodie. “There is something about him. When we spoke this morning, he kept glancing at a couple of the ranch hands, as if he were nervous or keeping a close watch on them. The man’s actions bother me.”

  “Do you want me to check wanted posters for him?”

  Quinn nodded, letting out a breath. “Aye. I think it would be wise.” He stood, pulling money from his pocket and tossing it on the table.

  As they walked outside, Brodie clasped a hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “Be sure about Emma, lad. She’s a fine lass.”

  Quinn sent him a warning glance.

  “I’ll say no more.” Brodie dropped his hand, turning at the sound of shouting from down the street. “Is that Blaine?”

  “Aye.” They both started running toward their cousin, reaching him as he dismounted in front of the clinic. His panicked gaze landed on Quinn and Brodie.

  “It’s Sarah. The wee bairn is coming.” Blaine didn’t wait for a response before shoving past them and racing into the clinic. “Doc Vickery?”

  “I’m coming.” Jonathon Vickery rushed out of the back room, followed by Hugh Tilden. He looked at the three MacLaren men, an eyebrow lifting. “Has there been an accident?”

  Blaine stepped forward. “You need to come right away. It’s Sarah.”

  Circle M

  “You need to sit down a moment, lad. You’ll wear yourself out pacing back and forth.” Ewan placed a hand on Colin’s shoulder, encouraging him to take a seat. He remained there for a few seconds, then stood again.

  “I can’t sit, Uncle Ewan. Not while Sarah is in such pain.”

  “She’s doing no worse than your ma or your aunts.” Ian walked to the cabinet where his brother, Angus, always kept whiskey. “How about a drink?”

  “It’s noon, Ian,” his wife, Gail, admonished as she passed around cups of coffee.

  He cocked a brow at her. “Noon means nothing to me when one of ours is having a baby. Who is for whiskey?” All the men stepped up, taking a glass from the cabinet and holding it out. “Now that’s more like it, lads.” Like Ewan, Ian enjoyed his whiskey. Sometimes more than he should. Ian
held up his glass. “Here’s to a new addition to the MacLaren clan.”

  Quinn burst through the door as Blaine, Colin, Camden, Brodie, and Ian held the glasses to their lips. “Did I miss anything?”

  “Nae, lad. We’re helping Colin relax.” Ian poured one more glass, handing it to Quinn.

  As soon as Doc Vickery rode out of town with Blaine, Quinn had found Cam, letting him know about Sarah, while Brodie let Sam know he’d be headed to Circle M. Quinn wanted to ride with them, but someone needed to deliver the supplies. Climbing up on the wagon, he took the trail to the new property as fast as he could and unloaded the supplies, telling Caleb the news. Within a short time, Quinn was on Warrior, riding to the ranch.

  Quinn downed the whiskey, studying Colin, who still held his full glass. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he leaned toward him. “Sarah will be fine.”

  Colin rolled the glass between his fingers, nodding.

  “He’s right, Colin.” Brodie came up beside them. “Doc Vickery won’t let anything happen to her or the baby. Drink up, lad. You’ll be needing it.”

  Sarah’s agonized cry had Colin’s head shooting up, strong hands holding him back when he tried to dash up the stairs. “Nae. You can’t go up there.” Brodie’s calm voice did little to soothe his cousin. “Take a breath and relax. It could be a long day.”

  Colin took a deep breath, raking a hand through his hair as he lowered himself to a chair. “I don’t know what I’ll do if…”

  Quinn’s gaze locked on Emma sitting at the dining table with Jinny and his mother. She glanced up, then looked away, not holding his stare. Hearing the anguish in Colin’s voice, he crouched in front of his cousin.

  “You must believe, Colin. You will not lose her.” Quinn set his empty glass down. “Do you remember when your twin sisters, Chrissy and Alana, were born? You, Brodie, and me were about sixteen and thought Aunt Kyla was going to die.” Quinn continued when Colin nodded. “And your da? He stood with his brothers, calm as you please, even through your ma’s screams. A few hours later, the doctor yelled for your da. Uncle Angus held up those twins as if they were a grand prize, then handed one to my ma and one to Aunt Lorna. He walked into his office, closed the door, and broke down.”

  Colin raised his head. “He stayed strong for my ma.”

  “Aye, he did. You must do the same for Sarah and the wee bairn.” Quinn gripped his shoulder, then stood, turning his head toward Emma. He chuckled, noticing how she’d shifted her back to him. Walking over, he rested his hands on the back of her chair, looking at Aunt Lorna, who’d taken his mother’s place next to Emma. “Ladies.” Seeing her stiffen, he didn’t remove his hands. “Would there be any more coffee?”

  Jinny pushed back her chair. “I’ll get you a cup. Lots of sugar and milk, right?”

  “Black.”

  “Aye. That’s right.” She smiled, then grimaced when she heard Sarah’s pained shout. “Ach. That laddie better be coming soon.”

  Quinn took a seat next to Emma, moving his chair close enough for their legs to touch. “Jinny thinks it will be a laddie?”

  “Aye,” her mother answered. “Jinny always thinks wee bairns will be laddies. It’s her and Kenzie against four brothers, so she always expects to be outnumbered.” Aunt Lorna stood. “I’m going to check on the food. It won’t be long before the others will be coming in from their work.” She started to walk away, then turned back. “Does Caleb know?”

  “Aye.” Quinn looked across the room at Cam, knowing they’d have to ride back to the hacienda as soon as possible. He didn’t like leaving Caleb with so much work to accomplish, but he needed time alone with Emma. Shifting back toward her, he paused, feeling the tension between them.

  She cleared her throat, her hands clasped in her lap. “Fletcher told me you’ve moved to the new place.” He could hear the strain in her voice, the thread of disappointment.

  “Aye. It’s best if I’m over there.”

  “Away from me, you mean.” She stood, sliding her chair back under the table.

  “Emma…”

  She straightened, crossing her arms, keeping her voice low and level. “No, Quinn. I understand. You didn’t mean what you said. It was a mistake, nothing more.” She turned away when she felt his hand grip her arm.

  “Emma, let me explain.”

  Wrenching her arm free, she twisted away from him, her voice a trembling whisper. “I don’t need any more of your excuses. You don’t want me, don’t love me. Well, I’ll no longer bother you. All I ask is for you to stay away from me.”

  His jaw clenched as he watched her walk into the kitchen. Hearing the back door open and close, he stood, meaning to go after her. Before he could move, Jinny came out, eyes blazing.

  “What did you say to her, Quinn?” She poked a finger into his chest.

  “I didn’t have a chance to say anything.”

  “Well, she’s crying, and Emma never cries.” She let out a frustrated breath, her face flushed with anger. “If you’ve hurt her again, I’ll…” Her voice trailed off when she saw everyone staring at them.

  He swallowed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Again?”

  “Don’t you be daft with me, Quinn MacLaren.” She stood several inches shorter than him, about Emma’s height, and was four years younger, the same as Emma. Yet when Jinny got mad, no one wanted to be in her path.

  “I’d better go find her.”

  She grabbed his arm. “Nae. Not if you’re going to tell her how much you don’t want her after telling her you loved her.”

  Quinn’s eyes widened. “Emma told you?” Of course she did, he thought.

  “Are all men such fools? Of course she told me. The worst is, she believed you.” Jinny sucked in a breath. “Was it a lie?”

  He closed his eyes, shaking his head, then looked at his cousin. “I’ll go talk to her.” He didn’t give Jinny time for anything more before he stormed past her, stalked through the kitchen, and out the back door.

  Jinny threw her hands up in the air on a loud groan. “Ach. That man is such an eejit.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Quinn spent a good amount of time searching for Emma behind the house, down the path leading to a small stream, then backtracking to the front of the house. Resting fisted hands on his hips, he looked around, trying to figure out where she’d go. Moonshine. He spun around, walking in the direction of Uncle Ewan’s barn.

  “You are such a good girl.”

  He heard her voice as he entered the barn, spotting Emma at Moonshine’s stall, stroking the mare. His body responded as he watch her gentle strokes, heard her soft voice. Moving closer, he allowed himself to imagine he was the object of her attention, feeling his body harden even more. Groaning, he stopped walking when she whipped around, eyes filled with pain and anger spearing into his.

  “What do you want?” Emma crossed her arms, her glare hostile and unyielding.

  He swallowed the growing lump in his throat, searching for a plausible explanation for his actions. Whenever they were apart, he accepted what he thought was best for both of them. But when she was near, his heart and body responded, telling him Emma belonged to him and no one else. His actions when he took Emma in his arms and kissed her undermined every argument he had with himself. The line between what he should do and what he wanted to do blurred, resulting in uncertainty and pain for both of them.

  “If you’re just going to stand there and stare at me, I’d suggest you leave.” She turned back to Moonshine, anger and humiliation flowing through her.

  Clearing his throat, Quinn took a tentative step forward. “Emma…” He didn’t know what he wanted to say. Feelings, emotions, and desire clashed with what he believed he should do. “Emma, I want…” Floundering, he raked a hand through his hair, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He’d never been so tongue-tied, so befuddled around a woman. What he felt for Emma went well beyond the feelings he’d ever had for any other woman. All he understood was his need to protect her, the sa
me as he felt for every female in his family, and the way his heart swelled whenever he saw her. He hadn’t lied. He loved her…would always love her.

  Continuing to move toward her, he wanted to ignore the voice in his head encouraging him to confess his feelings and hope for the best. He couldn’t. Gently placing his hands on her shoulders, he felt Emma stiffen before she stepped away, whirling around to face him. He’d never seen her so angry or so beautiful.

  “I asked you to leave me alone. It’s all I’ve ever asked of you. Why can’t you do it?”

  He flinched at the plea in her voice. His body stilled when she took another step away. Slipping his hands into his pockets so as not to reach out and touch her, he shook his head.

  “I can’t.”

  For an instant, her eyes widened, then narrowed. “You can’t what?”

  “I’m sorry, lass. I can’t promise to stay away from you.”

  She moistened her lips, trying to comprehend what he meant. “I don’t understand. Why not?” Her voice had mellowed, her anger softening as they continued to stare at each other.

  Breaking eye contact, Quinn let his gaze move over to Moonshine as he made the decision he knew would change his life forever. His heart beat a painful rhythm as he accepted what must be said. He reached out, stroking his hands down Emma’s arms until he took her hands in his, feeling her flinch. Drawing her toward him, he searched her face

  “I told you the truth the other night. I’ve loved you for years.”

  The air whooshed from her lungs. She shook her head, gripping his hands tighter, trying to calm her racing heart. “You moved to the new ranch to get away from me…because you lied about how you felt.”

  “Nae, lass. It wasn’t a lie.”

  “But…”

  Quinn let go of one hand, bringing a finger up to cover her lips. “I’d never lie about something as important as loving you.”

  Leaning down, he brushed his lips across hers, testing to see if she’d pull away. Her slight moan told him what she needed.

  Wrapping his arms around her, he deepened the kiss as he cupped her neck, holding her in place. A low growl escaped his lips when she wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging him closer.