by Lexie Davis
Against her better judgment, she sat up and dialed Ryker’s number. She planned to meet with a lawyer in the morning, so talking with her husband before then shouldn’t go against the rules. They weren’t face to face and she doubted that Ryker would ever say she was harassing him.
Instead of answering, his phone went to voicemail. She hung up and lay back against the pillows. Spending her honeymoon at her parents’ house and away from her husband wasn’t ideal. Nothing about her life was ideal.
A knock sounded at her bedroom door, and Ella’s mother stepped inside. “I made you some cupcakes.”
Ella held her pillow tight. “Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”
“You know Daddy is going to take care of this. You didn’t do anything wrong, and he’s going to make everything go away.”
“It’s not that simple, Mom.” The light caught the diamond in her ring, and she closed her eyes. She wished things had been different.
If they had given in when they were fifteen, maybe it would have saved them the heartache now. Or maybe she should have never went to him in the first place. Her father probably would have ended up dead at the hands of another motorcycle gang, but she wouldn’t have been caught up in everything now. Ignore the temptation of him and focus entirely on her work.
“Am I supposed to be mad at Ryker?” her mother asked. “I know it’s a sensitive subject with you.”
She sniffled. Her mother set the tray of cupcakes down on the nightstand and rubbed her back. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything else. Ella thought about what they had told her. The evidence for the fentanyl was sketchy at best. The photos really didn’t show much other than her talking to Razor. And the hospital security footage didn’t show her face. Granted, it was her, but it could be debated. She was fairly certain of that.
But what bothered her the most was that they really wanted her to believe Ryker had turned against her. Deep inside, she knew it was a lie. It had shocked her to see the statement, but it was a lie.
It was in that moment she realized just how powerful Razor really was. If he couldn’t kill her, he could take away her life and make her suffer. That was more his style anyway. He had probably sat back in his chair, smoking a joint, and laughed at her.
“What can I do for you, Ella? I hate seeing you like this.” Her mother hugged her.
“Nothing. There isn’t anything anyone can do.” She reached for a cupcake from the nightstand tray and peeled the paper from it. “Has Dad called? Did he find anything new?”
“He hasn’t called. He said he would when he found out something.”
She bit into the treat and thought about what little she knew about Ryker’s mom. From what he told her, she died at his birth. Since Razor was involved, she couldn’t help but wonder if something more to that story.
Her phone rang and she glanced at the readout.
“Hello?”
“Have you talked to your husband?” Vampire asked.
“No. Why?”
“He’s not answering his phone. He left the club a little while ago. Let’s just say he’s looked better.”
“What do you mean? Is he drunk?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“High?”
“I’m just saying he probably needs a phone call from you. Or maybe you could check on him. I’d do it myself, but I’m not really the one he wants to see.”
“I’m not exactly allowed to see him.”
“Take a risk, Ella.”
He disconnected the line and she sat her half-eaten cupcake aside. She tried dialing his number again. Voicemail. Ella stood with her phone in hand and grabbed her keys and purse.
“Mom, I’m going to find Ryker. If Dad calls you, please tell him to call my cell.” She went out to the car and got in.
He could be at their apartment, so that was the first place she looked. His bike was gone. She kept driving and went to all their normal spots. He wasn’t anywhere. A mild panic set in as she continued driving down the road. He had to be on his bike. He would have answered her. Even when he’d been high and out of his mind, he still answered her.
Every bad scenario that could happened popped into her head. Her biggest fear was that Razor got him, too. She wouldn’t put it past him to shove a needle in his arm and leave him for dead like the garbage on the side of the road. It started to rain and she flipped her windshield wipers on. Her chest ached and the pain grew worse and worse the longer she didn’t find him.
Pulling over at a café, she parked and dialed his number again.
“Ella?”
“Where are you?” she asked without preamble.
“I went to get something to eat. Why? What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been trying to call you!” Tears streamed down her face. “You didn’t answer. Vampire called me and said he was concerned about you. I’m out here looking for you like a crazy person. Why didn’t you answer me?”
“I was on my bike.” Concern filled his voice. “Honey, where are you?”
She glanced around as the rain poured down around her. “I’m at that new café on Wesley.”
“Stay put. I’ll be right there.”
She sat in the parking lot, watching the traffic pass in the rain. It didn’t take too long before a motorcycle pulled up beside her. Ryker stood and grabbed the food he’d bought at the restaurant and climbed in the car next to her, completely drenched. She turned toward him.
“I thought he got you too.”
Ryker swallowed hard. “I’m a tough bastard to kill.”
“I’m not joking.”
“I know.” He studied her. “Vampire called you? What did he say?”
“I don’t know. He was worried about you.” Ella rubbed her eyes. “I think I’ve imagined every worst-case scenario along the way.”
“I’m sorry that you worried. Vampire shouldn’t have called you.”
“Yes, he should have, Ryker. We’re married, you know. It doesn’t really feel like it right now, but that’s what happens when people get married. If one of us is going through something, our friends call the other to tell them about it.”
He didn’t say anything as he pulled his hamburger out of the bag. Ella watched as he sat his bottled soda in the cup holder. She didn’t know what to say to him so she just watched him eat his food.
“I wanted to use again.” He wiped his mouth and glanced over at her. “I actually sat in front of the club, imagining the way it felt.”
“Drugs aren’t going to solve anything.”
“It’s more than that.” He took another bite, not looking at her. “Coke makes you feel good. Like I’m the motherfucking king of the world.”
Ella reached for his hand. “Look at me. You don’t need a drug to make you feel good.”
“I didn’t snort anything.” He held her gaze.
“Keep it that way.” She reached for his fries. “You’re better than that.”
He watched her eat a few of his fries. “You hungry?”
“A little.”
“You want the rest of my burger?”
“No.”
He held it out to her. “You can have a bite.”
She debated for a second before leaning in to take a bite. When her mouth was full, he smiled at her. The simplest things made her forget their current situation.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I know.” She popped a fry in her mouth. “I keep telling myself that one day we’re going to have a normal life. A boring, normal life.”
He reached for his soda. “Is that what you want?”
She laughed. “Right now, yeah.”
Tipping the bottle to his lips, he drank without another word. Ella glanced over at him and wondered how everything would work out. If she did do time, she wasn’t sure they could come back from that. She didn’t really blame him for Razor, but everything bundled together made it a careless decision to stay with him.
“I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I don’t blame you for Ra
zor’s shenanigans.”
He lifted his burger and took a bite. “I blame me.”
“Don’t.” She reached out to touch his thigh. “I really can’t handle that on top of everything else.”
He tossed his trash in the bag and stared out the water-dotted windshield. “What am I supposed to do?”
“We always get through everything together. If you need me, I’m there. If I need you, you’re there.” She bit her lip. “Just be there for me, Ryker. I’m falling apart and doing my best to keep my shit together.”
He turned to her. Instead of saying anything, he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. She closed her eyes as she laid her cheek against his leather jacket. It made sense to her that he wanted to take the blame. None of that mattered. She didn’t need him to take responsibility. She needed him to hold her and remind her everything would eventually be okay.
They sat in that awkward position for a while. She thought about climbing over the console to straddle his lap but the car was too confined for that maneuver. Instead, she pressed her face against his neck. The fresh rain scent lingered on his skin. Why he was out riding his bike in the weather, she didn’t know.
“Tell me what prison is like.” She pulled away from him.
“Ella.”
“No. Tell me.” She stared into his dark eyes. “I want to be prepared for everything.”
“You’re not going to prison.” He cupped her cheek. “I’d go to prison before you ever stepped foot in the door. It’s not happening.”
“You can’t exactly take my place.” She propped her arm up on the seat and faced him. “I could be looking at serious time. I don’t even know if I have my job. My dad told me to wait to hire a lawyer. He’s trying to do God only knows what at the station.”
“I can take your place.” Ryker reached for her hand. “I have a motorcycle club that has a shady past. I’m sure I could bargain with the DA. You’d probably get probation. You won’t serve time though.”
“You’d do that?”
“In a heartbeat.” Ryker smoothed his fingers along the back of her hand. “I love you. I don’t say it lightly either. You’re the only person in this world that I love. It’s not something I can rationalize or ignore. I’d do anything for you. You know that.”
She did know that. “Don’t do anything crazy. I still need you in my life.”
He gave her a small smile.
Once the rain had let up, Ryker finally pulled away from her, deciding to go back to the club. Ella didn’t want him to leave, but she didn’t have much of a choice. They couldn’t hide away together for the rest of their lives—though that sounded like a good idea. She needed to check in with her dad and figure out all the other shit going on with the case.
“I’m working some things out tonight at the club. I don’t know how cell reception will be. If you need me and I don’t answer, call Vampire.” He stood beside the car, peering down to face her. “Let me know what your dad finds out.”
Ella undid her door and got out, walking around the car to the other side. She hugged him, pulling him close in a tight squeeze. Ryker hugged her back and she clung tighter. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to go home with her. Fuck everything else in their life. She wanted him and it hurt to be apart.
“It still hurts.” Ella pressed her face against him as tears ran down her cheeks. “It still fucking hurts.”
He leaned in to kiss her. His warm mouth pressed against hers lightly and she melted into him. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, making her forget they were in a public place. The rain sprinkled down on them though neither one cared.
She was the first to pull away. Backing up a bit, she forced herself to break physical contact with him. If she didn’t, she’d never leave.
“Can I have your jacket?”
It was his favorite. It smelled like him too.
He sighed. “You’re going to force me to ride cold and wet?”
She didn’t say anything as he took the jacket off. He only wore a black T-shirt underneath. Once he mounted the bike, he glanced over at her.
“I am a doctor,” Ella replied. “Well, for a little while longer anyway. I can heal you if you get sick.”
He smiled. “I do miss playing doctor with you.”
She tried not to laugh and failed. “You’re not funny.”
“Tell that to the smile on your face.” He started the engine of the bike and it roared to life. “Love you, babe.”
Standing beside her car, she watched as he backed out of the parking spot and took off. Ella held his jacket close. It was still warm from his body as he disappeared from her sight. She loved him. There was no denying it. And with that came a small glimmer of hope that made her feel like she could get through anything.
Chapter Three
“Rizzo will be in Atlanta in two days,” Superman commented once Ryker stepped inside the club. “Did you get caught in the rain or did you ride on purpose?”
“Both.”
Ryker went to one of apartments in the back and opened the door. A nice fluffy towel hung on the post next to the shower and he grabbed it. He peeled his shirt from his body and dabbed at his face, chest, and arms.
“Vampire is worried about you. We’ve already said that either one of us can take care of the issue. You don’t have to.”
“I’m fine,” Ryker clipped. “Don’t mention it again.”
“Fine.” He left the room.
Moments later, Vampire came to the doorway. “Did you speak to Ella?”
“Yes.”
“Did she help you with the cravings?”
How his best friend knew him that well, he didn’t know. Seeing Ella put a lot of what was rolling around in his mind to rest. He could breathe again and it didn’t come in shallow pants. Hell, it just about killed him when she jumped into his arms, clinging to him like the world would fall apart if she let him go. In some ways, he supposed it was true. Her world was falling apart and he was so goddamn helpless to stop it.
“Look, you’re not fooling me. I’m not your wife, but I know you well enough to judge your behavior accurately. You wanted some coke earlier. Since you’re not high, I’m assuming you fought the craving.”
Ryker sat on the bed with the towel draped over his shoulder. “It’s passed.”
“Good.” Vampire studied him. “Don’t do anything crazy. You don’t need to get drunk or high to see this thing out. You don’t have to be the fucking hero for everything.”
“Hero?”
“Yeah. Hero. You’re our leader. Your father was a vile man. Every single one of us is thankful you’re nothing like him. You’ve had our backs and have taken the brunt of his abuse for years. Any one of us would gladly take care—”
“Why do you fucking think I cannot do it?” It started to piss him off.
“Because you’re not him.”
Ryker scoffed. “I’m more like him than you give me credit for.”
“He was your family—at least to you. We all know that. None of us hold it against you. Family takes care of each other. You’ve tried to give him the benefit of doubt. You’ve tried to control him the best way you know how. He went behind our backs as a club and brought heat to us with the cops. That makes this club business. You and I are not blood, but we’re close enough. I really think you should let someone else do it.”
Vampire was family. Had been for a long time. Aside from Ella, he knew him best. They’d been through some rough shit together too.
“I’m fine.”
“This shit provoked you into potentially having a relapse. If you do relapse and Ella finds out, I’m the one she’ll come after.”
Ryker chuckled. “Scared of my wife now, Vampire?”
“She cares about you.” He paused. “We all do.”
“Thanks, but I’m a big boy.” Ryker lay back on the bed. “I can handle my problems like a big boy should.”
“I’m still the backup plan though, right?”
&
nbsp; Ryker could tell by the tone of his voice that Vampire didn’t want to watch Ryker suffer through it all. He probably thought there would be some dramatic end. Ryker didn’t think that far ahead. It wasn’t difficult to take care of club problems. He’d done it before and this one shouldn’t be any different.
“If that makes you happy.”
“Quit being a dick.”
“I’m fine.” Ryker met his friend’s gaze. “Stop worrying.”
“You’re not fine, but I’m tired of talking about it.”
Ryker watched his friend leave. He closed his eyes and thought about what would transpire that night. Not only did he want to protect Ella, he had to protect the future of the club. It didn’t bother him as much as everyone thought. He tried to give Razor chance after chance. Nothing worked. He couldn’t stop and he wouldn’t stop. He’d keep going after Ella. He’d keep torturing Ryker. He’d keep manipulating the club and using it to his own advantage.
He blew out a breath thinking about his grandfather. While the man was far from innocent, he was the true father figure in Ryker’s life. Razor wanted power and killed his old man by setting a building on fire with Ryker’s grandfather inside. It wasn’t a club vote either. That was all Razor. Maybe they did have a point. He wasn’t like his father, but he was the President of the charter. He should be able to handle club business—any club business with out personal feelings getting involved.
And he would.
****
Ella spent most of the next two days in bed before her mother forced her to get up. Her father had tried to get her arrest record erased, but the hospital found out. She was officially dismissed from her position in the ER and felt as though someone else was controlling her body while she had no ability to stop them.
