by Lexie Davis
All her hard work went down the drain. She had moments where she couldn’t stop crying. Other times she wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Razor won. She didn’t have Ryker and she didn’t have her job. She had nothing and was looking at a jail cell becoming her home for the next few years.
“Take a shower then come downstairs. You’ve got company.” Her mother left her.
Making her way to the bathroom, Ella quickly stripped her clothing and climbed in the shower stall. She stared at the water swirling down the drain. It hurt to breathe. After washing her hair and her body, she stepped out and grabbed a clean towel from the rack near the shower. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to people. She dried off and went to her bedroom to pull on an oversized shirt with a pair of comfortable jeans. She made her way downstairs, and stopped when she saw Ryker eating one of her mother’s cupcakes.
“What are you doing here?”
His mouth was full, so she waited while he chewed. “I need you to come with me.”
“I can’t go with you.”
He took another bite, looking too damn relaxed. “It wasn’t a request.”
A fair amount of anger hit her hard. She walked over to him and swung her balled-up fist at his arm. He didn’t even flinch. Over and over again, she hit him until he finally grabbed her arms and forced them to her sides. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she sobbed.
“I lost my job!”
He slipped his hands along her neck. “Ella.”
“Don’t.” She shook her head, furious at him. “Everything hurts. Don’t make it worse.”
He pulled her into his arms. She hadn’t seen him in two days. He didn’t call her and part of her wondered why. She moped about the house like a heartbroken teenager, wearing his jacket and reveling in the comfort of it. Calling him wasn’t an option. Her lawyer didn’t seem to care that they were married. He wanted them to stay away from each other, which only pissed her off more.
“Come with me.”
“Why?” She tried to push him away. “I’m going to jail.”
“You’re not going to jail.”
“You don’t know that.” She jerked out of his arms and moved away from him.
“Yes, I do.” Ryker rubbed his eyes. “Ella, Pat took care of the guy at the department. He was a dirty cop, and they had been investigating him for a while. Pat proved that he arrested you on false pretenses, which is grounds for suing the department. He also proved the guy fabricated evidence and submitted it as the real thing. The photos were doctored. I gave them the real security footage from the club which proves you didn’t stab me. It shows you leaving the club working on me while the paramedics loaded me into the ambulance. They also got the hospital footage. They cannot prove that you stole fentanyl since the camera doesn’t show your face. Plus, nobody reported anything missing and it wasn’t documented in the narcotics database at the hospital. Someone had to use their badge to get that medicine and log it into the system. It wasn’t you and no one reported anything during that time period.”
“I still lost my job.”
“Pat said it would take a week or two, but the court system will take care of that false arrest record and you can get your job back. You also get your bail money back. You don’t have a case. We can actually spend our fucking honeymoon together.”
She shook her head. “You can’t make them hire me back.”
“No, but the court can.”
She closed her eyes, sagging against the counter. A mixture of relief and fear still rolled around inside her. He walked toward her. “And that other little problem we have … I want you to come with me.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to solve it. Once and for all.”
“You’re going to kill him?”
“I want you to come with me.” He reached for another cupcake. “Put your shoes on.”
Ella pushed away from the counter reluctantly. Her shoes were by the door and fairly easy to slip on. Ryker walked with her to his bike and ate the last of his cupcake before climbing on. He held his hand for Ella, and she straddled the vibrating beast of a machine behind him.
They rode to the outskirts of the city. Ryker parked his bike with the others in the lot and led her inside some abandoned warehouse. Several Roaming Devils members stood around. When they saw Ryker, they stopped goofing off and grew more serious. The man she didn’t like, Beth’s boyfriend, stood next to a nearly naked man with a bag over his head. His hands were bound and suspended in the air from a chain. She glanced around, wondering what the hell was going on.
Ryker reached for the gun offered to him. “You can do it or I can do it.”
Beth’s boyfriend lifted the bag off the man’s head, and Ella stared Razor in the eye. He chuckled and spit, his lip busted from someone’s fist. The men around her had gathered like they wanted to see the show. Vampire and Superman stood off to the side. There weren’t any women—just the men who wore the cut. Patched members. She was the only oddball there.
“Is this club business?” she asked.
“Yes.” Ryker focused on her. “It’s going to happen. I’m just giving you the opportunity to do it if you want.”
“Bringing your little wifey in on club business now? You are a pussy. It’s an embarrassment to me for you to even be called my son.”
“I’m not him.” She shook her head. “I hate his guts, but you know I don’t like guns. I don’t like violence. It’s murder. Hell, you could record me for all I know and then I’d end up in jail for sure.”
Ryker had a pained look on his face. “We’re not recording you. This is private club business. We took a vote and Razor is dead tonight.”
“You don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.” Razor spit on the ground. “You’ve tried it twice, remember? I’m still breathing. She cut your balls off the first time you sank into that tight virgin hole.”
Ryker raised the gun and pointed it at Razor’s head. “Shut your fucking mouth.”
“Or what?” Razor glanced around. “You let your emotions get in the way of your leadership. It’s not personal, Ryker. It’s just business. I told you that the first time I handed you a gun and ordered you to kill Ernesto for stealing coke out of the warehouse.”
Ella watched Ryker, knowing that the idea of killing his father was not one he accepted so easily. She watched as he took a deep breath, rubbing his finger along the trigger, yet not pushing it. He was doing this for her, and it was killing him inside.
“He’s not worth it, Ryker.” Ella reached for his arm.
“Yeah, Ryker. I’m not worth it. You need me and you know it. That heart of yours has big plans for the future of the club, but you have no fucking leadership skills to carry them out. She’s fucking with your head. Before we all know it, she’ll be the one running the damn club.”
A gunshot sounded, and Ella watched as Razor’s body jerked. She gasped as blood splattered on the ground in front of him. She lifted her gaze and saw Vampire with his gun out, his eyes deadly and his expression serious. Nobody said anything as Ryker lowered the weapon and turned, his eyes closed as he took a deep breath.
“Are you okay?” Ella asked.
Ryker opened his eyes. “Yeah.”
Superman took the gun from Ryker and slapped him on the back. She watched as they undid Razor’s binds and lowered his body to the ground.
Ryker had tears in his eyes. “I need some air.”
She followed him outside and watched as he went over to the grass to vomit.
Vampire came up behind her. “Is he okay?”
“No.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Why’d you do it?”
“We had a deal. It was club business. We all wanted to see the fucker dead, but Ryker kept him alive. Then he changed his mind. He finally voted yes and both Superman and I tried to get him to let us do it. He refused. Said it wasn’t personal, though we all knew it was. I convinced him to let me be the backup plan. If he couldn’t do it, I wasn’t going sit back and wa
tch him torture himself with it.” Vampire glanced over at her. “He cared about that piece of shit more than Razor ever deserved.”
“I know.”
“He cares about you more.”
She met his gaze. “Did this happen because I asked him to? We had a fight and I was angry.”
“No.” Vampire glanced over at Ryker. “Razor’s been a problem for the club for a while. It was club business. We all voted for it unanimously. Ryker just let you in to prove to you once and for all that Razor wouldn’t bother you again.”
Ella left him in the doorway and walked across the parking lot to where Ryker stood. He stared out at the road. “That cupcake doesn’t taste so good the second time around.”
She brushed her fingers along his arm. “You’re a good man. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“I’m not all that good.”
She rubbed his back. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“I’m here if you do.” Ella knew how difficult that entire night had been. He was not his father. That was something they all were thankful for, but Ryker didn’t see it that way. She knew he wanted more from that man. He wanted him to be something he wasn’t.
“I’m sorry I hit you.” Ella rubbed his side with her hand. “You didn’t even flinch so I’m assuming I didn’t hurt you that bad.”
“I think I’ll survive.” He smiled at her.
She wrapped her arms around him. “Let’s go home.”
Chapter Four
Ryker woke in a mild panic for the third night in a row. Sweat covered his skin. His heart beat erratically. Sitting up on the side of the bed, he dropped his face into the palms of his hands. He needed to do a line or two. Wanted it more than his next breath.
He stood and walked to the bathroom naked. Sweat wet his skin and he decided to take a shower. Nothing felt right anymore. Ella lay beside him and even his relationship with her felt fragmented. He didn’t know how to repair any of it either. He let the hot water wash over him.
Propping himself up with one hand, he closed his eyes as the water hit the center of his back, doing his best to forget the past week. His stomach knotted. Ella had no clue how to help him as he fought his obsession with coke. It had always been the way he dealt with shit and there was an entire shitstorm brewing inside him that needed to be dealt with.
“I can prescribe you a sedative. It will help you sleep.”
He lifted his head and saw Ella standing in the doorway. The water had turned cold and he cut it off. Stepping out, he reached for a towel and pressed his face into it.
She didn’t say anything as he dried off. Understanding the new dynamic of their relationship was a task for him too. They weren’t as close anymore. They’d been married two weeks and he couldn’t remember the last time he touched his wife. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went to the vanity to brush his teeth.
“Do you want me to leave?” Ella asked.
“No.”
“Then please tell me how I can help you.” She laid her head against the doorframe, looking as tired as they both felt. “I’m worried about you.”
He didn’t say anything as he spat the toothpaste out and rinsed the sink. He couldn’t fix their problems right now.
Most of their troubles had come to an end. Ella had an appointment to meet with her boss at the hospital about her job. The judge also had dismissed anything involving her and the bullshit Razor tried to stir up at the police station.
As for him, he didn’t know what to feel about his situation. He grieved a monster. His father had a way of getting into his head and making him question everything he had ever done. Ryker pushed past her and went to the dresser to find a pair of shorts to pull on. After he’d dressed, he left her in the bedroom and went to find something to drink.
Ella followed him, though she kept her distance. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He drank from the bottle of water he selected. “Do I look like I want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know. You’ve got that look in your eye. The I-want-to-spill-my-guts-to-my-wife-because-we-don’t-talk-enough-and-I-want-her-to-know-everything look.”
“Can we not do this?”
“Ryker—” She stopped. “Do you want space? Do you want to talk? Do you want sex? Just fucking tell me! Talk to me.”
Ryker drank the last of his water and tossed the bottle in the trash. “I’m surprised you remember what sex is.”
“So we’re going to fight about that now? Okay. Fine.” She stood. “I’m going back to bed. If you want to fuck me, you know where I’m at.”
He watched her leave and pursed his lips. He could mope about feeling bad or he could spend a few hours fucking his wife. Ryker turned off the light in the kitchen and went back to their room. Ella stood on her side of the bed with her back to him. She pulled her tank top off, revealing the smooth skin of her bare back. He watched as she hooked her fingers in the sides of her shorts and slipped them off next.
Talking was the last thing on his mind. Ella turned around and met his gaze from across the room. She was a gorgeous woman. Always had been. While she wasn’t as skinny as she had been as a teen, she had feminine curves that made his mouth water. He was the only man she’d ever been with and he liked knowing that. She was the only woman he wanted.
“I can’t do tender right now.” He stared at her breasts and slowly drank in the sight of her hard nipples. “I’m not going to apologize for it either.”
“I trust you with my life.” She glanced away. “My body is a bonus.”
He closed the distance between them, grabbing her arms and pulling her to him. Crashing his mouth against hers, all the pent-up emotions forced their way out of him. He fisted his hand in her hair and yanked her head back so that he could nip and lick at her neck. Tears filled her eyes as his hand tugged her hair harder. He squeezed her breast as he lightly bit the side of her neck. He wanted to hurt her, wanted to cause her pain. As soon as those thoughts crept into his mind, he stopped.
God, he was a fucked-up mess.
Letting her go, he took a few steps back, unsure of what to do. He must have had a weird expression on his face since Ella reached out to him.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t fucking do this.” His hands shook. He barely held it together and if he didn’t let some of it out, he would do something he’d regret. He knew it.
Ryker turned and grabbed the first shirt he saw hanging in the closet. He pulled it on and snatched his wallet and keys from the dresser top. He had pulled his shoes off near the door so he went to the living area to put them on.
“Ryker?” Ella had one of his t-shirts on as she followed him. “Where are you going?”
“Out.”
He stood.
“Wait a second. I’m coming with you.”
Something in him stopped. She disappeared down the hall and came back wearing a pair of jeans and her tennis shoes. She didn’t bother with a bra or combing her hair. Her purse sat on the kitchen bar and she lifted it along with her keys.
They didn’t say anything as they walked to the parking lot. He didn’t feel much like riding with her on the back so he unlocked her car. Ella kept quiet. He got in and started it up. After backing out of the parking spot, he drove toward the entrance of the lot.
He didn’t know what the fuck he needed, but the club had a gym and a punching bag sounded nice at the moment. Scaring himself with his own thoughts was enough of a wakeup call. In the past, he could take what he wanted from any woman and it didn’t matter if she cried or if he treated her like trash. He was a member of the fucking Roaming Devils MC.
But Ella was not those girls. She was not someone he could take his frustrations out on. Rough sex sounded nice until he wanted to see her cry. That became a problem for him almost immediately.
Silence lingered between them as he parked the car in the clubhouse lot. He got out and went inside with Ella trailing behind. Vampire stood at the bar,
watching as Ryker stalked through the room, heading toward the gym. He didn’t need another fucking lecture and thankfully, his best friend didn’t offer him one.
Ryker grabbed his pair of boxing gloves and tightened them around his wrists. Ella watched him from the doorway, arms folded while the intent expression on her face almost had a hint of pity.
Once he got the gloves on, he went to the boxing bag and repeatedly punched it. Over and over. The aggression inside him came out but it also fueled more. He wanted to bring Razor back from the dead just to kick his ass. Hell, he wanted to kick his own ass for even entertaining the idea of hurting Ella.
“You want a face to go with that boxing bag?” Vampire asked.
“Shut the fuck up.” Ryker stopped, propping his arm on the bag while he held it still with the other.
“Let me get some gloves on and you can make me.” Vampire went over to his cubby and grabbed his gloves.
Ella shifted, obviously uncomfortable with the idea. “Do you really think fighting is a good idea?”
“We’ll be fine.” Vampire tightened his gloves.
She looked on edge, glancing between the two of them.
“Before you get any wild ideas in your head, don’t you dare get out the sedative for us.” Vampire got in the ring. “Come on, tough guy. Let’s do this.”
****
Ella thought they were never going to stop hitting each other. She watched from the sidelines, knowing Ryker wasn’t okay. He struggled so much and she didn’t know how to help him. She thought some of the tension between them would finally be alleviated with sex but he turned her away with that too.
Maybe he blamed her for Razor’s death. Maybe he saw it as her fault that it even had to happen. If she hadn’t been in the picture, then Razor wouldn’t have had a problem. He had to choose between her and him. Maybe he regretted his choice.
Blood seeped from wounds in their eyebrows, nose, lips, and cheeks. They’d undoubtedly be sore and bruised by morning. She took an account of how many body shots left bruises and hoped like hell that none of them broke any ribs. Did the gloves cushion the hit? She didn’t even know.
