Let Me Hold You

by Alexandria House

  I nodded, deciding I’d take the text from his childhood friend as an out, because I knew how this conversation would end, at an impasse just as it always had. I knew he was coming from a place of love and concern, but in an overwhelming, obsessive way. As I stood and walked him out of my condo, I thought about my life, how I’d tailored it to fit his needs for so many years, ever since that day when he was twelve, and as he put it, he kicked my then-boyfriend’s ass. I didn’t really date after that, because the couple of times I tried, a teenage Armand terrorized the poor guys into leaving me alone. So I had managed to find some solace in casual sexual arrangements, like the one I had with Elrich, but I was tired of that. I was exhausted from the sacrifices, and honestly, now that he was an adult, it made no sense for me to keep living like that. Something was stirring inside of me that made me want more, and I had to wonder if it had something to do with Leland McClain. I mean, yeah, I liked him, really liked him, but being with him would really send Armand over the edge. However, the reality was that it made no sense for me to have to consider my grown son when it came to my love life. Then again, I knew the fact that I did have to consider him was my fault; I just didn’t know what to do about it. Plus, he did save my life, so maybe I owed him the debt of staying single. Or maybe I just didn’t deserve love.

  Yeah, that was probably it.

  *****

  It was the second Saturday in July, which followed the last week of our camp—the only week Armand volunteered for—and we’d just had our little summer camp closing ceremonies with several of the NBA guys in attendance. As I sat in my office in the emptying building, I couldn’t help but to feel proud and extremely relieved. Our first program of this kind had been a success, Armand was already on his way back to Miami, and I felt like I could breathe again without his overwhelmingly smothering presence. I loved my only child from the depths of my soul, but I was always just as glad to see him leave as I was when he arrived.

  Digging in the bottom drawer of my desk, I pulled out a bottle of rum and a plastic cup, had poured myself a celebratory drink and was about to throw it back when the knock came at my door. I knew who it was, knew when he walked into the gym for closing ceremonies that this would be the day I had to break things off with him. He’d texted me a few times while he was in LA, had informed me he’d be back in town today, and I hadn’t replied to anything, because I…couldn’t. I knew what I needed to do but couldn’t find the strength to do it over a text message or a phone call. Now he was pinning me to the wall, forcing me to do it.

  I threw my drink back, squeezed my eyes shut at the burning sensation in my throat and warmth everywhere else, and shouted, “Come in!” through the door.

  A second later, I was facing a gorgeous giant in slacks, a dress shirt, and tie. I could see his thick muscles bulging through the shirt, his hair was in full, afro effect, and it looked like his beard had grown longer in his absence. Sadly, all I could think of doing was climbing him and letting him satisfy my every need.

  As he settled in the chair across from my desk with a serious look on his face, I said, “Glad you came to see me. We need to talk.”

  He stared at me with those dark eyes, raised his eyebrows, leaned back in the chair, and nodded. “Okay.”

  I blew out a breath, and blurted, “I can’t see you anymore. We can’t…we can’t have sex anymore.”

  He puckered his lips and shook his head. “Naw…that’s not gonna work for me.”

  My eyes widened. “What?”

  He straightened his relaxed posture. “I said, that’s not gonna work for me.”

  “Um, it’s not about what will work for you. It’s about what’s right. This is…it’s wrong.”

  “What’s wrong about two adults enjoying each other?”

  “You’re too young for me.”

  He cocked his head to the side. “How young do I feel when I’m inside you?”

  “W-what?”

  “Fifteen? Twenty? How young, Kim?”

  “I-I don’t know.”

  “Here’s a better question: how many times have you thought about my age when I’m making you come?”

  “Um…”

  “When you think about me, is it my age you think about or my di—”

  “Leland!”

  “I’m Leland instead of McClain now?”

  “My son—”

  “Is not a concern of mine. You are.”

  “He should be a concern of yours.”

  “But he’s not. I didn’t leave Miami because of him. I left because I’m chasing a ring, or at least that’s what I thought, but what I realized when I was in LA is that I ended up here because you’re here, and I didn’t even know when I was asked to be a part of this program that you were moving back here permanently. But here you are, a woman I have wanted since the first time I ever laid eyes on her. I wanted to know if your skin was as soft as it looked and how your lips would taste and how it would feel to be with you. Now that I know, I’m not letting you go.”

  My heart was beating wildly, and I couldn’t look at him. “You—you’re gonna have to. This won’t work! It can’t!”

  “Have you even discussed this with Little Kim?”

  “McClain—”

  “Keep calling me Leland. I got an old name. That should help you deal with this a little better.”

  “There’s nothing to deal with. We’re over. We have to be.”

  “Give me a valid reason that has nothing to do with my age or your son, and I’ll agree to end this.”

  “Those are valid reasons.”

  “No, they’re not. I already debunked the age thing. And you know what? You’re the youngest woman I’ve been with in years, anyway. Two, I told you, I ain’t fucked up about your son. He wanna fight me over you when he finds out? Cool. Whatever. I’m not scared of him. Now…” He stood and rounded my desk, took my hand, pulling me to my feet, and drew me into his arms. As he leaned in to kiss me, he asked, “If I do this, you’re gonna stop me?”

  I closed my eyes and nodded. “Yeah…stop,” I said weakly, as he kissed me.

  He flicked his tongue against my neck. “And this?”

  “Yeah. Stop that, too,” I whispered.

  His hands found my waist, and he rubbed his fingers across the beads that could be felt beneath the fabric of my dress. Leaning in close to my ear, he said, “You got no idea how much these beads turn me on. I was sitting in that gym wondering if you were wearing them.”

  “They turn me on, too,” I admitted.

  Sucking on my earlobe, he said, “Damn, you are the sexiest woman I have ever seen in my life.”

  Closing my eyes, I said, “Thank you, but-but stop. I can’t—”

  “I wanna eat your pussy.”

  My eyes popped open. “Huh—what?”

  “I realize I haven’t done that yet, and how can you make the decision to end this without knowing the full scope of what I have to offer you? I got a long-ass tongue.”

  “Uh-um…It’s about more than sex. It’s about keeping the peace and doing what’s right, and you should go find you a woman your age so you can have babies and stuff.”

  “I don’t want babies and stuff. I’m too selfish for that, gotta have all the attention.” He slid his hand under my dress and into my panties. “I want you, and why can’t you let the age thing go?”

  “Because you are only six years older than my child!”

  “Seven, and so? You’re only fifteen years older than him.”

  His finger was inside me, and my knees were buckling. I had to grab him to keep from falling. “Leland—”

  He kept playing with my yoni with one hand, cupped my face with the other, looked into my eyes, and said, “I’ma eat this pussy and I’ma eat it good, and if you still don’t want me after that, I’ll leave you alone. Won’t ever contact you again no matter how bad I want you, and I want you so bad, baby. Never wanted anyone like this before in my life. So this is my way of begging you to be with me, a’ight?”


  Since my yoni was literally a slushy pulsating mess, I stopped arguing, raked the papers to the floor, and let him lay me on my desk. I clamped my eyes shut while he relieved me of my panties, almost bolted to my feet when his tongue met my clit. My entire body tensed up as he licked…and licked…and licked, then slid a finger inside me as he sucked on my clit like it was a damn Blow Pop. Then his tongue replaced his finger as he slipped it inside me, pulled it out, and glided it over my clit over and over again. He tongue-screwed me until my yoni began to convulse and I screamed his name at the top of my lungs, and then he softly slapped his hand against my pulsating vagina. “Am I too young?” he asked.

  “Oh!” was my response, as my eyes opened and rolled into the back of my head. I’ll be damned if his hand hitting my yoni didn’t almost make me climax again. The hell?

  He gently smacked my yoni again, making me shudder and moan, and smiled down at me, his beard and mustache glistening with my essence as he said, “You like that, huh?”

  I nodded and reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck when he bent over, bringing his face close to mine. “Am I too young, Kim?” he repeated.

  “Noooo,” I whined.

  “So you wanna keep seeing me and doing this?”

  “Yessss.”

  “Only me?”

  When I didn’t answer him fast enough, he gently bit my bottom lip, making me shudder again. “Only me?” he asked again.

  “I-I thought you didn’t want a relationship.”

  “Changed my mind. So answer me.”

  “Okay…yes, only you.”

  “And you’re gonna answer when I call and return my texts?”

  “Uh-huh…”

  “So you’re mine now, right?”

  He was inside me now, so I basically whimpered, “Yes.”

  “And I’m yours?”

  “Mm-hmmmmmm…”

  “Now that we got that clear…” He slid out and back into my saturated core.

  “Uh!”

  “See, we were made to do this, baby.”

  “Le-Le-Leland?” I said against his lips as he kissed me over and over again.

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “I don’t want my son to know about us. Not right now. So we’ll need to be careful. We can’t—Ooooh! We can’t tell anyone about us.”

  “Whatever you want, baby.”

  I woke up the next morning in Leland’s suite with him lying beside me, wide awake, those dark eyes on me.

  “You been up all night staring at me?” I asked, as he reached over and rubbed a finger over my waist beads.

  “No, just woke up a few minutes ago, looked at you, and thought damn, she’s beautiful.”

  I reached over and tugged his beard a little. “So are you.”

  “Thanks. Hey, I gotta head out early to work out, but I ordered breakfast and I’ll call you later. Or you can stay until I get back and we can spend the day in bed since it’s Sunday.”

  I stared at him and smiled. “I’ll stay, but I was wondering…are you ever going to get a place? How long you planning on staying here?”

  He sighed. “I don’t know. Been looking, but I can’t find anywhere I like. I really want a condo in a secure area.”

  “Try my building. I know there are a couple of units that haven’t been purchased yet. It’s a new building, really exclusive and secure.”

  “Your son got it for you?”

  I nodded.

  He moved closer to me, kissed me, then lifted from the bed. “Text me the info.”

  “I will,” I said, as I watched him move around the suite naked. After he left, I climbed out of bed, wrapping a sheet around me as I sat at the table to see what was for breakfast—bacon, eggs, toast, and pineapple chunks. I guessed he liked pineapples. Shrugging, I dug in.

  13

  “Damn, you’re actually here?” was the way Zabrina greeted me as I approached the table.

  Falling into the chair, I rolled my eyes and set my huge purse on the floor beside me. “Damn…happy National Cheesecake Day to you, too. And I said I’d be here, so I’m here.”

  “Uh-huh, but you been too busy to have lunch, dinner, or anything else with me. You even turned down drinks last Saturday, and I offered to damn pay!”

  It’d been two weeks since Leland and I officially became a thing, and I honestly had been neglecting my friendship/cousinship with her, but this was new and fun and I hadn’t had a real boyfriend in seven or eight years and Leland was just...everything. Passionate, funny, and sexy as hell. Plus he fed me well, which was a big deal to me. I appreciated a man who made sure his woman ate. Never had that before. Hell, I never had a man that cared not to hit me before. Yeah, every single man I ever dated from Armand’s sorry ass father to the one Armand had to peel off of me put their hands on me at some point. That’s what I meant by me bringing out the worst in men, but Leland had me thinking maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe it was the men.

  Or maybe if you give him enough time, he’ll hit you, too, and not just in a sexual way.

  I squeezed my eyes shut to chase that thought away, and when I popped them back open, Zabrina was staring expectantly at me.

  “What?” I asked, then took a sip from my sweaty glass of water, averting my eyes from her face.

  “I said, has breaking things off with Leland McClain gotten to you like that? I mean, I know it had to be hard as fine as his ass is. And he’s rich, too. Girl, I don’t know how you did it, but it was for the best. You know that, right? I mean, I get it, so you don’t have to avoid—hey, when did you get that bracelet?”

  I glanced down at the tennis bracelet Leland had gifted to me a couple of days earlier. I’d woken up to an empty hotel room and the bracelet on my wrist. I’d been trying to give it back to him, but every time I did, we ended up somehow having sex, so I just gave up.

  “What?” I asked, because I didn’t know what else to say.

  “Did Armand give it to you? It’s nice, girl!”

  “Hey.”

  I would’ve known that voice even if I wasn’t staring up at him in total and utter shock. And if I didn’t recognize it, my vagina definitely did. Did I tell him I was having lunch there? Shit, was he following me? Was he crazy like the other fools I dated in the past?

  “Oh. My. God. I-I’ve wanted to meet you forever! I tried to get to you at that block party, but you were swarmed before I could make it! I’m Zabrina Norris, Kim’s first cousin and best friend! Hi!” Zabrina was grinning like a nut and talking all over herself. If I didn’t know any better, I’d wonder if she was telling me to break things off with him so she could make a move, because I saw absolutely nothing but lust in her eyes.

  He took her limp outstretched hand, bent over, and kissed it. “Nice to meet you, Zabrina.”

  “Nice to meet you, too! This is Kim—shit, you already know her, and I know you know her.”

  Leland returned his attention to me and nodded. “Yeah, I know her.”

  “W-w-what are you doing here, Mr. McClain?” I asked, begging him with my eyes not to out us.

  He raised his eyebrows, gave me a quick confused look, and said, “Oh, right. Uh, my boy Polo wanted to meet up here. I told him I wanted to celebrate me buying a condo and becoming an official St. Louis resident and he suggested we come here, promised this place makes the best wings in town.”

  I knew he was supposed to be purchasing a condo on the top floor of my building and was happy to hear the deal was sealed. That would make it much easier for us to see each other.

  “Polo?! Paul Logan is here, too?!” Zabrina shouted.

  I dropped my head, afraid to look up and see folks staring at us. “Z, I don’t think he wanted you to announce it,” I muttered.

  Leland chuckled. “It’s all good.”

  “Why don’t y’all join us?” she suggested, as she snatched her purse up from one of the two empty seats at the square table.

  I wasted a glare on her thirsty ass, because her eyes were shooting las
ers into Leland whose gaze was volleying between me and her.

  “Uh, I’m sure he and Polo don’t wanna eat out in the open like this. People are already staring, thanks to you,” I said.

  Her shoulders and face fell. “Oh.”

  Leland was staring at his phone as he said, “He just texted me to meet him in a private room. How about y’all join us?”

  “Uh—” I tried.

  “That’d be great!” Zabrina gushed, bolting to her feet with a huge grin on her face.

  Leland turned to me, and I gave him a wide-eyed “what the fuck?” look.

  He merely smiled, and said, “Follow me, ladies.”

  The room was one I’d never been in despite the fact that I’d been patronizing Dendy’s forever. It was actually a smaller version of the main dining room, complete with tables and booths. The room was empty except for Polo, who was waiting in a booth for us. Yeah, a damn booth. So that meant I would either have to sit across from Leland and try not to look at him or sit next to him and try not to attack him, because at this point, the scent of him alone turned me on.

  “Come on, girl,” Zabrina chirped, beckoning for me to slide into the booth next to her. I supposed this seating arrangement was the safest. I’d just act like Leland wasn’t sitting across from me.

  “Polo, man…look who I found out there,” Leland said.

  “Ms. Hampton! How are things over at King’s Dream without us?” Polo asked, extending his hand to me from his seat next to Leland and across from Zabrina.

  “Quiet. We’re not running any programs right now. Just got the indoor and outdoor courts open to the public while we prepare for our back-to-school events.”

  “Cool, cool,” Polo said, with a nod.

  Zabrina nudged me so hard I damn near fell off the seat. In response, I shot her ass a look.

  Then she took it upon herself to fling her hand at him. “I’m Zabrina Norris, her cousin.”

  Polo licked his lips and gave her the same grin he’d been giving me since I met him a few months back. “Nice to meet you. I’m Polo,” he said, as he clasped her hand.