Room to Grow

by Lisa Heaton

  “Sorry I’m late.” She gave no other explanation.

  Because Avery’s tone was apologetic, Sophie decided to let it slide. “It happens,” she said. “It gave me a chance to work out in the sun.”

  Avery nodded and began to unload plants with them.

  “So, Avery, what flowers sing to you?” Sophie smiled at the puzzled expression on Avery’s face.

  “Sing to me?”

  “Yeah, you know, that one flower that makes your heart glad.”

  “I’ve never thought about it.” Avery scanned the assortment before her. “Not these, I don’t think. I like tropicals. They remind me of going to Florida with my grandparents when I was a kid.”

  “That’s a good memory. Where did you go?”

  Avery began to talk about her childhood vacations, and as she did, a softening occurred in her tone. The angry girl Sophie had dealt with the week before was all but gone. This girl giggled often and spoke with her hands. The more she talked, the more Sophie was reminded of Chloe.

  By lunchtime, when Josh wasn’t back yet, Sophie asked Justine if she wanted to sneak away for lunch. When Justine suggested the sandwich shop, Sophie said she was in the mood for a burrito. Princess Leia and Chewbacca likely knew what was going on with her and Josh, so she hoped to avoid seeing them.

  At the restaurant Justine sat across from Sophie and took her hand to pray. The prayer was long and beautiful and a reminder of the woman she used to be.

  “Amen,” Justine said.

  “Amen,” Sophie said.

  “So, Martha, how do you like working for Josh?”

  “Martha?”

  “Yes, you know, the busy sister who flittered around like a butterfly while her sister sat at the feet of Jesus.”

  Sophie looked at her, wondering if she was supposed to be insulted. “Why am I Martha?”

  “You accomplish so much, yet seem so empty. Always so busy, busy, busy.”

  No longer hungry, Sophie rested her fork on her plate.

  Justine continued eating unhindered and made casual conversation here and there. She was nearly done with her food when she said, “A love-struck young man once shared a word of wisdom with me. He said he found a clump of monkey grass growing under a deck in the midst of a large sea of pebbles. There was a faucet that dripped nearby that spot, allowing the grass to continue to grow. What he learned from that experience was that we all face times when we want to give up. But we hold on. We keep reaching for Living Water. All it takes is a few drops some days to sustain us.”

  Sophie remembered that day, finding that clump of grass with Josh. From that day on they had made sure to check on it and ensure it was getting plenty of water. That silly little clump became as special to her as her most prized pots of flowers.

  Justine locked eyes with Sophie. “If you're worried about Josh, don't. He's not the kid you knew all those years ago. He's a man who's had a lot of years to consider what he wants. Josh is in the Word daily. He seeks God before making big decisions. I don’t think he would pursue something that he wasn’t confident God was leading him to. I sure would hate to see him give up on what God has planned for him.”

  With her elbow propped on the table, Sophie dropped her chin in her hand. “You see how ridiculous this is, right? You’re my age.”

  “So, that’s your excuse? Your age?”

  “Yes. He should find someone his own age. Do you realize how silly we will look together?”

  “What others think of you matters more to you than how you feel?”

  “I don’t know what I feel.”

  “I don’t believe that. Girl,” she slapped the table as she spoke. “I can feel what you feel all the way across this table.”

  “What do I feel?” Sophie said.

  “Terrified. Afraid you might open yourself up to him and get hurt.”

  “What if I do?”

  A smile tugged at the corner of Justine’s lips. “What if you don’t?”

  Sophie sat looking at Justine with wonder, her words tumbling around in her mind. What if she didn’t get hurt? What if Josh was what she needed? What if God had walked him right into that coffee shop when she was at her lowest point?

  “Maybe you’ve outgrown your pot, Sophie, and need to be transplanted into a new life. Maybe the great Gardener has a brand new shiny pot to plant you in so that deeper roots can grow.”

  “Sophie said that,” Sophie said.

  “Sophie did say that.”

  Sophie’s heart was tight like someone had a hold of it. “This is an awful lot of maybes.”

  “It is. Maybe you need to seek the Gardener to find out His direction.”

  “I know His direction, or at least I think I do.”

  “Then follow without hesitation.”

  Sophie worked as best she could with a distracted mind. The question continued to come, “What do you want?” Every time her answer was the same. “To say yes.”

  The verse about the heart being deceptive above all things came to mind, something that made her reevaluate her answer. Then she considered God’s handprint in her life over the past couple of weeks and how transformed her life was already from that woman sitting with the want ads hoping for crumbs from the table rather than the feast she now had.

  The two things she dreamed of doing, gardening and working in an office, had come about in one encounter. That was the hand of God. And the one person who appreciated her every good quality was asking her to dinner.

  “Is this You, God?” Sophie whispered aloud.

  Her phone chimed.

  It was Josh texting her: From my Sophie Said Journal:

  Sophie said, “You have to have patience in waiting for blooms. You can never force them open or you’ll damage the petals.”

  His next text: I’m sorry for the way I’ve pressured you. Please forgive me. The day has been miserable without my right hand. I left without you only because I was embarrassed by my behavior

  Sophie replied: Yes!

  Josh: Yes, what?

  Sophie: Yes, I would love to have dinner with you!

  Her phone rang. “Hey.”

  “Are you kidding me?” he said.

  “I wouldn’t kid about dinner. I’m too big a fan.”

  “I’m at the end of the block. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Sophie watched him pull into the lot soon after, so she met him outside and stood on the porch.

  He approached with a broad grin and remained standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Yes, huh?”

  “Yes.”

  “When?”

  She took a step down. “You tell me.”

  He took a step up. “Tonight.”

  “I’ll be hungry tonight.”

  Josh moved to stand one step below her. “I’ve waited a long time for this bloom.”

  The remainder of the day neither accomplished much. With their offices across from each other, they spent more time looking at each other and grinning than working. Once, he texted her a reminder that they had dinner plans. She replied that she wouldn’t dare forget. When four o’clock came, Sophie gathered her things and went to stand in his doorway.

  “I have plans tonight, so I need to head out on time.”

  “Really, anything special?”

  She nodded. “Very special.”

  “Pick you up at six?”

  “I’ll be ready.”

  “For the record, I haven’t planned anything special since I didn’t have a clue that this would actually happen. Regrets!”

  “I’m pretty easy to please.”

  Sophie made the trip home with no regrets. That surprised her. She called Karen and gave her the update. Karen squealed into the phone. They hung up with the agreement that Sophie would call after the date.

  Once home, she showered and stood before her closet looking at her mom-wear – that’s what Chloe called her wardrobe. Now she was having regrets. What do you wear on a date with a guy under thirty? Sophie groaned at the thought. She set
tled on a grey dress that looked like a long shirt. To freshen it up and cover her springtime white legs, she put on dark leggings that Chloe had given her. The addition of a pair of pumps made her look like an altogether different woman. Even she didn’t think she looked too much like a grown woman’s mom.

  She took a selfie in the full-length mirror and sent it to Karen.

  Karen: Fab!

  Sophie: I need to shop!!

  Sophie: Scratch that. That’s me assuming we will have a second date.

  Sophie: Scratch that. I need to shop anyway. I dress like someone’s mom.

  Sophie: I am someone’s mom.

  Karen: Breathe! For goodness sake, just breathe! And text me while you’re out. Give me a play-by-play.

  The doorbell sounded at five forty-five. Sophie ran back to the mirror and looked again. Maybe the pumps were trying too hard. She reached for flats and looked again. “Hi, Mom,” she said and slid the pumps back on.

  When she opened the door, Josh was there with a bouquet of various types and hues of purple flowers.

  “You don’t get credit when you already knew my favorite color flower before the first date.”

  “Are you kidding me? I had to hit two florists and a grocery store to pull this off.”

  She took the flowers from him. “You get credit for that.”

  He walked with her to the kitchen while she put the flowers in water. “Look, a shirt with buttons as promised.”

  “I see that. Impressive.”

  He watched her as she trimmed the stems and placed each flower in the vase.

  “I’m trying to play it cool here and not make a scene,” he said.

  “A scene over what?”

  He took a step closer and stood for a few seconds looking at her. “Over how beautiful you look, over how my heart has been beating clear up into my throat since you said yes, over how I fear I’ll screw this up.”

  “A wise friend told me today, ‘Breathe! For goodness sake, just breathe!’”

  “So it’s not just me?”

  “No.” She sighed. “This is my first first date in over twenty years.” She hung her head. “Why did I have to say that? You were only nine.”

  Josh was smiling when he lifted her chin. “Stop doing that. Let’s just be who we are. Age doesn’t matter. Our history doesn’t matter. Let’s just have a first date and enjoy it.”

  Sophie nodded. “Agreed.”

  The restaurant was crowded as Sophie walked with Josh to their table. All along the way, she watched people to see if they were watching her. Did they think she was robbing the cradle? Did she care? Who was she kidding? Of course she cared. The more she looked, the less it seemed they were even noticing. One man checked her out, something that Josh must have noticed, too. When the man scanned her from head to toe, Josh reached for her hand and moved to walk closer to her. That one little gesture made her smile.

  Once they were settled in and had ordered, Josh said, “Surprisingly, I’m not nervous anymore.”

  “I’m not either.”

  “Maybe it’s the fact that we’ve spent the last two weeks riding around together and eating lunch every day.”

  “Maybe,” she said.

  “Or maybe it’s that I’m more compatible with you than anyone I’ve ever met.”

  She tilted her head. “You think?”

  “Don’t you think we are?”

  “I haven’t given it much thought.”

  “Give it some thought,” he said.

  “Well, we both love God and gardening and sunshine.”

  He nodded. “Yep. And eating and coffee and red velvet cake.”

  She considered their combined lists. “I can’t think of anything else that matters.”

  “Me either.” He took a drink of his Coke. “Another reason I don’t have to be nervous is that I’ve already gotten that first kiss out of the way.”

  Sophie nodded. “You sure did.”

  “I regret that. I mean, I didn’t at the time, but over the years I’ve come to. You were married. I had no right to do that.”

  When she said nothing, he said, “You handled it well.”

  “I was so shocked; I honestly can’t remember what I said.”

  “That you were flattered, but there couldn’t be anything between us.”

  She laughed. “That’s what I told Avery about you on Friday.”

  “Is it?”

  “That’s when she finally cried.”

  “You know how to let a kid down,” he said.

  “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  Even after all those years, she could still see the wounded expression on his face at her rejection. “You know, I’ve never told anyone about that day.”

  “I haven’t either, not even Drake. I made such a fool out of myself that I wouldn’t dare.”

  She was quiet, lost in thought over how she had learned to cherish that moment.

  He reached for her hand. “What?”

  “Just a thought.”

  “Tell me.”

  “It wasn’t long after that day Kevin had his first affair or at least the first I knew about. This may sound really messed up, but the fact that you had feelings for me softened the blow. I held onto those things you said when I felt the least desirable.” She sighed. “I know God didn’t lead you to do that, but He used what you did to carry me through a tough time.”

  Josh looked away for a long moment and then back at her. “Any regrets over staying?”

  “No. I did what was right at the time. I gave my marriage every chance to work. I never have to wonder if I could have done more or been more or given more.”

  “I can’t imagine what in the world he thought was out there besides you. You are already everything.”

  Her cheeks grew warm as if the soft candlelight was reflecting off them. If she thought he was just using words to gain her trust, that would be easy to dismiss. Not so with Josh. She had no doubt he believed every word.

  At that thought Justine’s words came to mind, how Josh sought God each day and how he wouldn’t pursue something he didn’t believe God was leading him to. Though she fought against the idea of it, Sophie believed, deep down, that God was orchestrating every single step of this enchanting journey they were on. Maybe this was just for a season and not long term, but whatever it was felt like nothing she had ever experienced. Even on her first date with this handsome man, she felt loved. What another ridiculous thought that was.

  They went for dessert and coffee at the place where they had reunited only twelve days before. The same table wasn’t open, but they sat next to it. He moved his chair close and held her hand. In less than two weeks, they had gone from long-lost friends to their first date. Sophie wasn’t at all sure how life had taken such a mysterious turn.

  “I almost texted you yesterday about something,” Josh said.

  “About what?”

  “You know all that stuff I told you about watering the soil in order to pull weeds?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I think it served a two-fold purpose. I’ve been convicted over it since I left your house that day.”

  “Over what?”

  “I’m called to forgive my dad, and you’re called to forgive Kevin.”

  “I’m not sure it’s even a matter of forgiving him over the last affair. I’ve forgiven him so many times over the years.”

  “What do you think it is?”

  “I was angry that he ruined what I thought we had. I thought we had built a life, but all we had done was built a lie. Now that I know there was nothing to lose, the anger is gone. I’m just numb toward him.”

  “That’s a gift, I think.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right,” she said. Sophie ate the last of her pie. “Now you, what does forgiveness look like for you?”

  “All I know is to start going around him again. Since they moved to West Tennessee to live near my granddad, I don’t see them often. It’s intentional.” He shook his head. “I’ve got to say;
this is one area of obedience that I’m not down for.”

  Back at Sophie’s house, Josh walked with her to the door and grinned a lopsided grin. “Here’s the scene of the original crime.”

  “Sure is,” she said.

  “You do know I’m moving in for a kiss, right?”

  “I had a feeling.”

  Even before she finished that sentence, he had taken her face in his hands. “I never thought I would get this chance again. Thank you for giving me a chance.”

  He lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. For a moment he lingered there, his touch tender while still cradling her face. When he lifted his head, he said, “Tell me this one date isn’t the end.”

  “Dinner here tomorrow night?” she said.

  “Yeah. Nothing special. I’m easy to please.”

  Chapter Eight

  Sophie arrived at work and while she parked, Josh came to stand on the porch with two cups of coffee in hand. Her insides were warm at the sight of him. He had texted her goodnight when he had gotten home. For an hour they had texted back and forth recounting the date and what each thought about it.

  “Here’s my right hand.” He handed her the cup and gave her a quick peck on the cheek when she reached the porch.

  Sophie hadn’t expected a kiss at work. Was this going to be a thing now?

  When they stepped inside, she hesitated there in the entryway.

  “What?” he said.

  “That kiss.”

  “You don’t want me to kiss you?”

  “Not here at work. This is all so new. Let’s see how this plays out before anyone else knows.”

  He shrugged. “If that’s what you want.” For a second he stood as if in thought, then said, “If I sneak one here or there, is that okay?”

  His hopeful expression made her smile. “I think I can live with that.”

  The day passed as usual as they both worked on paperwork early in the morning and then headed out. They had two estimates back-to-back, stopped by one of the job sites to talk to a client, had lunch, then headed back to the office.

  Josh was mostly himself, relaxed with her, but she found him more affectionate. He wasn’t overly so, but he did reach for her hand on several occasions when they were in the truck and at lunch. Even though this budding relationship was so new, nothing about being with him felt uncomfortable. She had a sense of settling in as if she had found her spot to nest for the spring. That thought made her smile.