She broke our gaze and gently rested her face back on my chest. "We'll see," she quietly whispered. Soon after, she fell asleep in my arms.
I sat still as she lightly snored resting against me. Why couldn't he have died after the wedding? Marrying Holly was what I wanted now more than anything. Not only for me, but I wanted the baby to grow up with a good father. It had become, like, really super important to me. I silently chuckled. My God, we really were suited for each other. Well, they say grief does funny things to people. I had to give her space and let her mourn. We'd have to talk about it when she came back. She'd be able to think clearer then.
#
I picked Holly up from the airport the following week and we went back to her house. I carried her suitcase in, put it in her bedroom, then made us some coffee and we sat at the dining table.
Holly stirred some sugar into her coffee and stared into the cup. "It's was a beautiful funeral," she said. "There must have been 500 people there."
"Your dad would have been proud."
She sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, he was well loved. And Billy Graham gave the eulogy. It was wonderful."
I reached over and held her hand. "I'm pleased. So, now that he's been promoted to glory, have you thought any more about the wedding?"
She glanced up at me then cast her look back to her cup of coffee. "Why don't we leave it for a little while? I'm still upset and sad, and not up for a happy event just yet." She looked at me. "You understand, don't you?"
I didn't expect her to rip her clothes off and lay naked on the table screaming 'Make me Mrs. Chambers', but a little more enthusiasm wouldn't have gone amiss. "I'm trying to, but I really want to get married. You'll be showing soon and you don't want tongues wagging about being unmarried and pregnant." I opened my arms. "You want to be the pregnant Mrs. Chambers."
"You really do want this, don't you?" She studied my face, seemingly to check my sincerity value.
I took her hand in mine. "More than anything."
She patted my hand. "Okay, we'll go see that Noah guy and see when he can book us in."
"I love you," I said. We leaned in and kissed.
#
We saw Brother Noah at the weekend and set the date in a fortnight's time. Excitement engulfed me knowing we were back on track and in two week's time I'd have a wife to care for.
I didn't see as much of Holly as I would have liked over the next week. She said she had a lot to do, but not to worry because we'd have the rest of our lives together. I accepted it and tried to give her the last of her non-marital space.
With Holly busy, I found myself spending more time with Mark drinking beer in our room when he wasn't out with Lori.
"Four more days before the big day then?" Mark commented.
"Yeah, I'm really excited. I'm glad you made me ask her out. She's fantastic."
"I remember you weren't saying that after the first date. She used to drive you crazy, remember?"
"I just didn't know her well enough when I said that." I put a cigarette in my mouth. I pulled it back out and looked at it.
"What's up with you?" Mark asked.
"You know what?" I put the cigarette back in the pack. "I think I'm going to quit smoking for Holly and the baby. I probably shouldn't smoke around them." After crumpling up the pack, I threw it in the trash can.
He whistled. "My-oh-my. What has Miss Holly created?" He tilted his head to one side, then the other, looking at me. "I don't believe it. It's almost human."
I flicked the back of my hand at him. "Hey, man, would you do me a favor?"
"Long ago…I would have just said yes without asking. But knowing you as I do now, depends what it is."
I took a swig of beer. "Would you report me to the Master-At-Arms for sleepwalking? Tell him I've been doing it for months, but you didn't want me to get kicked out. Now you realize I'll be going to a ship in six months, and you don't want me walking off the back of the ship in the middle of the ocean."
He fixed his gaze on his beer. "So basically, you want me to lie to a military cop." He looked at me expressionlessly.
"I wouldn't have put it like that, but yeah."
He turned one side of his mouth up into a smirk. "So you want to get medically discharged, but not that worried if I face a court martial for perjury." He shook his head, smiling. "Okay, maybe I was a little hasty comparing you to a human. I know I've lied to your girlfriends for you in the past, but I wasn't really putting much at stake personally. This is a different matter. Sorry, pal, you're on your own with this one."
"Oh, come on. It's not hurting anybody."
Mark stood up, walked to the door and opened it. He stood half in the room and half out, looking back at me. "I said no."
Lying on the bed, I thought about how I would start this sleepwalking thing on my own. I drifted off to sleep and didn't wake until time for work the next day.
#
Around ten o'clock, Watkins told me to report to the division officer. Walking to the building, I thought about seeing Holly, which sent shivers through my body, even if I couldn't bend her over the desk and give her one.
When I got to the office, she wasn't there. I gave up waiting for her after a few minutes and knocked on the division officer's door.
"Enter," a voice called out from the other side.
Lieutenant Johnson sat behind his desk. He stood up.
"Petty Officer Chambers reporting as ordered, sir."
He extended an open hand to a chair at the side of his desk. "Sit down, Chambers."
This was strange. He usually yelled at me while I stood at attention, but I sat as he instructed. He looked at me gently, standing by the side of his desk.
"Petty Officer Chambers, I'm afraid I have some bad news." He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I just got a call from the Red Cross this morning." He looked away. "Your mom lost her battle with cancer yesterday. I'm sorry."
I almost smiled. "That's not possible."
"I should have asked more when you told me. If I had known it was pancreatic cancer, I would have insisted you go home and see her when you told me about it."
I looked at him, my eyes partially closed. "What on earth are you talking about, sir?"
He pulled up a chair and sat opposite me so our eyes were level. "Pancreatic cancer is often diagnosed late. The person seems to die very quickly from it, but probably had the cancer for quite some time before it being discovered. I'm sorry."
"No, Lieutenant, this can't be right. There's been some kind of mistake. She didn't have cancer. I mean, she recovered. They got rid of it. She's fine. Really." Tears pooled in my eyes. "I just spoke to her last month. No, sir, she's fine. Really."
"I've drawn up papers for emergency leave. If you need some money, go to dispersing and they'll advance your pay so you can get to the mainland and back. Take the rest of the day off and start making your plans to get back home for the funeral." He stood, making it obvious that was my cue to leave. "I'm sorry for your loss."
My body went completely numb. I managed to stand and shuffle out of his office. Holly was back at her desk and called out to me as I trudged past. I don't remember walking to my dorm, but I found myself lying on my bed staring at the ceiling.
I did this. I killed my mom all because of a stupid lie. Maybe I secretly wished it on her. She kicked me out of the house; Maybe she deserved it. NO! Don't think that. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have been such a shit. She was a good woman, cursed with a shit husband and a shit son. The pain was so great it managed to cut its way through the numbness. Maybe I wasn't numb because I also carried the distinct feeling of guilt. I wanted to be numb, but felt terrible things I didn't want to feel. Why did I ever say that?
My mind raced for several hours until someone knocked on the door. I didn't want to see anyone, so I ignored it, but they didn't go away. Annoyance forced me out of bed and I flung the door open.
Holly came in and threw her arms around me. "Tyler, I'm so, so sorry. Sit down." S
he led me over to the bed and we sat on the edge. "How tragic." She put her arm around my shoulder.
"I did it. I killed her." I rocked back and forth, staring at the floor.
"Don't be ridiculous. How can you give someone cancer?"
"I willed it on her. I used my mind to do it. I didn't mean too."
"Now stop that. You can't kill someone through mental telephoning." She stood up. "Get packed. I bought you a plane ticket for tomorrow. I'll take you to the airport. So, get your things ready and I'll pick you up at nine." She kissed me on the cheek. "You gonna be okay?"
I nodded. Another lie.
"See you tomorrow." She got up and walked to the door.
"Holly?"
She turned to look at me as she stood in the doorway.
"I love you."
She smiled, blew me a kiss, and left.
#
Ten days later, Holly was at the airport to pick me up and drove me back to base.
"How was it?" she asked.
"Sad. Me and a group of church ladies standing around a grave. Shit. Dad didn't even turn up." I sighed deeply. "At least neither of us has anyone else left to die and screw up our wedding plans again. How have you been?"
"Like, okay, considering everything. It's been quite tough lately."
"You can say that again. We'll have to go see Noah again and get another date."
"Let's not think about that right now." She kept her eyes fixed firmly ahead on the road.
She dropped me off at my barracks. We kissed and agreed to meet at her house later that night. Luckily I came back on a Saturday. It gave me some time to regroup before having to go back to work.
After dropping everything in the room, I took a shower and got dressed. I lay on the bed trying to focus on how happy I would be once Holly and I got married; but guilt and sadness kept gripping me.
A knock at the door forced me out of bed. I'd be glad of some company to keep my mind off my mind. I opened it to find Debbie standing there.
"Can I come in?"
Opening the door and standing aside, I let her in. She walked past me and sat at the table. I joined her. She pulled out a cigarette and offered me one.
"No thanks, I quit," I said.
"You what? I don't believe it."
"Can't be smoking around a baby, so I gave it up."
"Well, good for you." She lit up. "Sorry about your mom, Tyler. I mean that." She widened her eyes and pressed her lips together.
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
"I know the timing sucks, and I am sorry, but I'm afraid I have some more bad news for you." She offered me a cigarette again. "You sure you don't want one?"
I shook my head.
She took a drag, leaned in and blew smoke in my face. "Check mate."
I waved the smoke away. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"I captured your queen." She leaned back and smirked.
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"Queen Holly. We're back together again. This time for good."
I waved my hand back and forth. "Get outta here. She hates your guts. And we're getting married." I leaned in, resting my arms on the table. "You really do live in a dream world, don't ya? We're in love, we're getting married and she's having my baby. And she's not gay."
"She sure acted pretty gay when you went off to Kahoolawe." She took a drag and smiled big. "It's like this, Tyler boy. You treated me like something you stepped in. I want you to suffer. What's the best way to do that? Take your prized possession. Holly. You wouldn't play the game, so I seduced Holly. We were at it while you were out picking up shells."
I looked at her through narrowed eyes. "You're a fucking liar."
"We had a great time while you were gone, but she said she couldn't carry on because of her dad. She wanted to, but she wanted Daddy's fortune too much. Oh, I was going to wreck your wedding one way or another."
"So you told her about us, did you?"
"Nope, didn't have to, but I would have. She might not have been so receptive if she knew I was sleeping with her boyfriend. But you know what? I was willing to make that sacrifice if it meant hurting you. Now with Daddy dead, she doesn't have to please him anymore."
I felt sick. What she said made sense. "Yeah, but we arranged another wedding date after he died."
"Yeah, I got a bit worried about that." She took a drag and flicked her ash in the ashtray. "I was going to tell her about us the night before the wedding. You know, for maximum effect. Your mom dying bought me some time. So, while you were attending her funeral, I seduced her again and convinced her she doesn't have to live for Daddy's approval anymore. Face it, Tyler, she's a dyke. She would have accepted it sooner or later."
"But we're having a baby. She's not going to give that up to go play happy homos with you." My stomach churned.
She twirled her cigarette. "We got it all worked out. It's amazing what you can come up with in ten days. Holly's going to get out at the end of her enlistment. Before then, she's going to report that she caught me in a lesbian act. I'll get kicked out, and she and I will raise the baby. Don't worry, I'll take good care of junior for ya." She smiled triumphantly.
"Naw, Holly would never do this to me. We got plans."
"Well, scrap 'em bud. She let me tell you all this to soften the blow. She'll confirm it when you see her tonight. So don't be expecting any pussy. That's my department now."
"Yeah, right. Two lesbians raising my baby. You'll never get away with it."
"Well, we haven't decided if we're cousins or sisters yet, you know, in public like, but it'll look legit. Who knows, maybe in ten or twenty years' time society will accept us for who we are."
"But I'm the father. I have rights." Oh shit. This was getting scary. She sounded so confident, but this was so devious. Surely Holly wouldn't do this to me.
"You may have rights, but Holly's due to inherit fifteen million dollars."
My mouth dropped. I sat there speechless.
She ran her hand through her hair. "That can hire some brilliant lawyers. And, you'll have to find us. We won't be staying in Hawaii, and we won't be going to Oregon. So the odds of finding us is forty-eight to one." She placed her finger on her cheek. "Make that forty-seven. I think it's safe to rule out Kentucky." She laughed.
"Fifteen million." I took a deep breath and tried to appear calm. "Nope, you're a lying bitch," I said matter of factly. "Holly loves me and we're getting married. So fuck off and get out." I rose to my feet, walked to the door and opened it.
Debbie crushed her cigarette in the ashtray, got up and walked up to me standing inches from my face. She spoke with cigarette saturated breath. "Sorry, Tyler. You lose." She walked out with a swagger in her step.
I slammed the door behind her. Bitch, bitch, bitch! Lying fucking bitch! She lived in a fantasy world that didn't exist. I had to see Holly to confirm that Debbie was delusional. I hopped on the bus and went to her apartment.
#
Standing at her front door, my mind went back to other times I had stood there waiting for her to answer. Meeting her dad, finding Debbie standing there, and the time she dropped to her knees and unzipped me in the hallway for all to see. This was a door of mystery as to what may happen next. I knocked.
She answered wearing baggy jeans and a non-revealing sweatshirt. If this was meant to be seductive, it didn't work.
"You're early," she said, opening the door.
My shoulders slumped as we walked to her couch. All I wanted was to hear was Holly scream, 'That lying bitch'. And then scream in ecstasy as I rammed my hot, throbbing…. One thing at a time.
We sat, both staring ahead, not speaking. It felt awkward and tense. No welcoming kiss, no offer of a drink. Oh shit. I didn't like it.
"Is it true?" I whispered.
Several moments passed before she answered. "Yes."
I looked to the ceiling. "God?" I asked. "Please strike me down now."
She laid her hand on my leg. "Tyler, I'm really, really
sorry. I can't tell you how bad I feel."
I snapped my head to look at her. "Then why do it? You don't want to be a lesbian. And you're not. We've had amazing sex, and you're having my baby. We're suited. Two peas on the farm, remember?"
She drew a deep breath. "Tyler, I'm really sorry. We've had a great time and I love you. But I've always been gay, I've just been fighting it. It's been like I've been an alcoholic in a bar drinking orange juice when I really wanted whiskies. Daddy put so much pressure on me to be the pure daughter and give him grandchildren. He raised me single-handedly and I wanted to please him. I needed his approval. But I've been living a lie. When I was fifteen, I saw the head cheerleader…well, she was the second, I was the head cheerleader. Anyway, I saw her in the school shower, naked with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. I instantly got wet and knew it turned me on. I tried to ignore it, but I still have images of her in my mind."
"Holly, you can't do this. What about your dad? His legacy? And the fact that I love you."
She gently laid her hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry, Tyler, but I don't have to live a lie anymore. Hey," she lovingly looked into my eyes, "I've had a great time. You're special, the father of my baby, but it's over. If Daddy hadn't died, things would be different. But I would have gone back to women eventually. I can't help it. It's the way I'm made."
"Holly, please. I love you. Don't do this." I looked at her. "We can make it work. And what about the baby? I have rights."
She brushed my cheek. "Sorry, Tyler, I have to be true to myself for once." She pasted on a smile. "I do care about you, but to have you in my life would be too painful. Look at it this way, you will be the last man I'll ever have. Yes, I do love you. The baby will be fine. I have plenty of money and won't ever come after you for child support or anything. You don't want to be lumbered with a baby. You're too young and still want to have fun. Don't hate me." She kissed me, then leaned back, looking deep into my eyes. "Goodbye, Tyler. You'll always be special to me."
It seemed futile to try and argue with her. I started to tell her about Debbie and me, then realized that would make me just as bad as Debbie. As it stood, she still respected me. An admission of infidelity may or may not destroy their relationship, but she'd still be gay. I was the one who cheated on her, not Debbie. It would only serve to give her a reason to hate me, and I wanted her to tell the baby nice things about his or her father. She and Debbie had everything planned out.
Trouble Triangle (Tyler's Trouble Trilogy) Page 28
