The Notorious Widow

by Allison Lane

  Sarah was still dancing with excitement. “Vicar Sanders was in town, wasting a whole afternoon arguing with Squire Pott about a horse. Papa would have called him a lazy scoundrel for ignoring his duty.”

  “It is not your place to judge him, Sarah.” Embarrassment heated her cheeks.

  “Papa would,” Sarah insisted. Clearly the excitement of the day had tired her. “Just as he would have said Mr. Cavendish was sly. He whisked a pile of maps out of sight the moment he saw Rockhurst at the door.”

  “Sarah—”

  “It’s true,” confirmed Rockhurst, interrupting. His eyes forbade her to pursue the subject. “We conducted our lesson, then visited some shops—”

  “He bought the most beautiful doll for his cousin, Mama, with real hair even lighter than mine.” That Sarah dared interrupt him proved she had forgotten her manners entirely, but Rockhurst merely smiled. “And we stopped at the confectioner’s for chocolate. And there was a new squirrel today, so dark he almost looks black. He hung back at first, as if he didn’t trust us, but Rockhurst convinced him to take bread right out of his fingers.”

  “Quite a talent,” agreed Catherine lightly. Rockhurst’s amusement eased her embarrassment. “So I presume you are too full to want dinner after such a day.”

  “I only had three cakes and two cups of chocolate. I’m starving.”

  “As is Horace,” said Rockhurst, producing a carrot. “Ted has him unharnessed now, so you can reward him for his fine service.”

  Catherine watched Sarah skip off to feed the horse. Hopeless longing cracked her heart. Rockhurst was perfect – perfect gentleman, perfect father, perfect friend. He would make a perfect husband for Laura, but she finally admitted that she wanted him for herself.

  Yet that was impossible, she reminded herself, ignoring the muscles rippling across his shoulders as he absently patted his other horse while issuing instructions to his groom. She lacked Laura’s beauty. Harold had been her only suitor eight years ago, and she now carried the additional baggage of age, a child, and a reputation that would bar her from every drawing room in London. Even if Rockhurst vanquished Jasper, her reputation would remain suspect. No lord would risk tarnishing his image with such uncertainty, particularly a paragon like Rockhurst. People would look askance at his children, wondering if his blood truly flowed in their veins.

  Besides, Laura needed a husband, and they had all agreed that she could try to attach him. Laura had formed a tendre for the dashing earl. His intentions remained unknown – he was avoiding any hint of impropriety lest it worsen the rumors – but Laura was so obviously suited to be a countess, he must be considering her.

  So Catherine could never admit her own interest. Not only had she already claimed one husband while Laura remained single, but Laura would see such an alliance as a betrayal.

  Laura was not as carefree as she seemed. Fate had handed her several failures, each eroding her confidence further. After their mother’s death ten years ago, Catherine had stepped up to supervise her younger siblings and oversee their flighty governess. Once she’d wed Harold, Laura had tried to take over that job, but at twelve, she had failed. She’d tried again when the governess left four years later, with nominal success. But when tragedy thrust William into the title, he had placed the house and his sisters in Catherine’s hands. Only later did she realize that Laura had seen this demotion as another failure. At an age when her friends had been setting up their nurseries, she’d been thrust back into the schoolroom.

  By the time Catherine recognized what was happening, the patterns had been set. Laura flirted outrageously, hoping marriage would restore control over her life. Yet her unrealistic expectations again set her up for failure. She sought a heroic man who would provide excitement and who would love her enough that he would never thrust her aside.

  But fictional heroes did not exist. While several gentlemen had made offers, the men Laura sighed over had not. Lately Laura had begun to fear that she could never find happiness. People praised her, but in the end she never satisfied them. Now she had new expectations over Rockhurst. Losing him to her widowed, notorious sister would cause irreparable damage to their relationship.

  Goose! she admonished herself firmly. What makes you think you have any chance of stealing him from under Laura’s nose? Just because he had been appearing in increasingly lascivious dreams did not mean he actually cared for her. Or that he ever could. No earl would saddle himself with her shortcomings, for it would reduce his credit and raise doubts about his judgment.

  She briefly considered luring him into an affair, but that would eliminate Laura’s chances. No man of honor would wed a lady after bedding her sister. Besides, an affair would ruin her in truth. Sarah did not deserve that handicap. She would face plenty of others, considering the length of country memories.

  “I discovered another of Rankin’s revenges,” he said, interrupting her fruitless thoughts. The groom had joined Sarah and was letting her feed the second horse.

  “What now?”

  “Sarah told me about Billy Wyath and Mr. Howard’s harness.”

  She flushed. “I had forgotten that one. I am not even sure Jasper was responsible. The talk died immediately, for Billy left for school the next day.”

  “I think we can trust Sarah’s word on this. She saw him cut the harness and heard him charge Billy with the crime.”

  Berating herself for not listening, she nodded. She should not have put Sarah off that day, but the rumors had just begun, and she had been terrified that Jasper would turn on Sarah if he heard her talking about him.

  “You might ask her if she knows of any other incidents,” he said quietly. “I did not wish to press her in public, but children usually see far more than we think they do.”

  “I know,” she agreed, backing away lest his nearness prompt her to do something stupid. Desire warmed her until she feared her face was cherry red. “Thank you for suggesting this outing. She enjoys visiting town.”

  She fled, so discomfited that she almost left Sarah behind.

  * * * *

  Blake shook his head over Catherine’s abrupt departure, then headed for the folly, where he could think without having to look over his shoulder every minute. Laura was reportedly practicing a new Beethoven sonata.

  Catherine’s sudden skittishness disturbed him. It was possible that Sarah’s chatter had embarrassed her. Custom demanded that children utter only polite responses to simple questions. But her uneasiness had grown worse after Sarah had left them.

  Thus he had to question his own behavior. He had meant to discuss Cavendish’s forgeries with her, but somehow he must have revealed how much he ached to hold her. More than ached, he admitted, running his fingers through his hair. It was a gnawing hunger raised by the countless times she had prowled his dreams since he’d spotted her in Exeter. Even before he’d learned her name, she’d plagued him.

  Now it was worse. He saw her a dozen times a day. Every time her eyes warmed, flames raced through his body, even as he reminded himself that she felt only gratitude for his promise. When she’d appeared unexpectedly in the stable just now, his knees had gone weak.

  He had thought he was controlling his face, but she must have realized where his thoughts had drifted. Embarrassed, she had fled. If he did not find evidence against Rankin soon, he would do something regretful. Making unwanted advances to any widow was wrong, but seducing Catherine would create an impossible tangle. Not only would she think he believed Jasper’s lies, but word would leak out, further eroding her reputation.

  He couldn’t do it.

  Yet he also couldn’t sleep for wanting her, and not just in his bed. She was a delightful lady, intelligent, caring, delectably sensual…

  She is also encouraging Laura to pursue you.

  The reminder doused most of his ardor, for it was undeniably true. She had avoided him whenever possible, leaving him to Laura and making her own lack of interest clear. If he pursued his attraction, he would be no better th
an the conniving Laura.

  Thrusting aside the nebulous idea that Catherine would make an interesting countess, he turned his attention to business.

  He had collected the Seabrook mail while in Exeter, including two letters addressed to him. The first was from a former schoolmate who lived near Plymouth.

  I know little about Mr. Rankin, Robert wrote, for he rarely enters Plymouth society. But my mother distrusts him – something about his eyes. I do not wholly understand her reasons, but she has an uncommon knack for identifying rogues and other undesirable persons.

  Blake swore. The information fit his impressions, but a woman’s instinct did not constitute evidence. He opened the second missive.

  Charles had not seen Jasper in ten years, but he remembered him from Harrow. Disliked by students and tutors alike, he confirmed. I avoided him whenever possible, for his arrogance far surpassed his station. He was constantly in trouble with the tutors and was sent down at least once a year. Just after we started at Cambridge, he was sent down for good, though I never heard why. Few people cared enough to discuss him.

  That was the unkindest cut he’d ever heard, decided Blake. And how it must have chafed Jasper. No wonder he eschewed London. Only at home could he attract notice.

  * * * *

  Catherine left Sarah in the nursery, then headed for the drawing room to talk to Laura. There was just enough time before they must dress for dinner. Discussing Laura’s courtship would remind her unruly passions of the facts.

  “Beautiful,” she said a few minutes later, having paused in the doorway while Laura finished playing. “That piece reminds me of rippling water.”

  Laura’s eyes glowed. “It’s called Für Elise. Perhaps I will play it this evening. Rockhurst appreciates good music.”

  “As do we all.” She paused, but there was no easy way to issue her warning. “You should be less aggressive this evening. I heard he was avoiding you last night.”

  “Nonsense. He is head over heels for me.”

  Catherine ignored the pain cracking her heart. It was no more than she had expected. Yet she had to be sure. “Then why has he grown so cool? He hardly spoke to you at dinner, and he slipped away from the drawing room after only a quarter hour.”

  “To protect my reputation, of course. He has said so more than once. Jasper’s rumors make me more susceptible to suspicion than most girls, so he must keep his distance. But you need only watch his eyes to know he cares. He can’t keep them away from me. I rarely glance his direction without meeting his gaze. He is perfect.”

  Catherine bit her tongue, letting Laura’s words batter and bruise. Even Jasper’s rumors had not drawn this much pain. But now she knew. Her impression of irritation was a fantasy created by her own unworthy dreams. Laura had too much experience with infatuated suitors to doubt her reading of Rockhurst’s intentions.

  “You will be quite well suited,” she agreed when Laura paused for breath. “But if he is truly enamored, then there is no reason to pursue him so doggedly. Demonstrate decorum this evening. Prove that your behavior is all that is proper for a countess.”

  Doubt flashed through Laura’s eyes. Or anger, decided Catherine in correction. “He loves me as I am,” snapped Laura. “Why should I raise suspicion by changing?”

  She stalked away before Catherine could respond.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Catherine glared at Rockhurst as he stalked across the library. She had avoided him since leaving the stable yesterday, even eating dinner with Sarah on the pretext of listening to the girl’s adventures in Exeter. Revealing her foolish heart would drive him away – no gentleman wanted a wife whose sister lusted after him. Laura already carried enough baggage in the form of an impecunious brother, minimal dowry, and notorious sister whose sordid reputation would never completely die.

  She needed time to subdue her unruly desires, and Laura’s flirting made the process harder. But Rockhurst made avoidance difficult. Not only had he tracked her down, he was demanding that she accompany the family to Exeter’s monthly assembly.

  “You have to attend,” he repeated. “Staying away admits that you are unfit for society.”

  “That is the most absurd piece of nonsense I’ve ever heard,” she snapped. Granted, she would rather avoid the inevitable cuts, but that wasn’t why she was staying home. “I rarely attend assemblies, so no one would expect to see me.”

  “You chaperon your sisters whenever they attend,” he reminded her. “Mrs. Telcor will take note if you do not.”

  “That was before Jasper began maligning me. People would be appalled if I chaperoned them now. Public association with Laura and Mary will tarnish their reputations. William must assume the job.”

  “Nonsense. I warned you not to change your behavior. It is your duty to look after your sisters. Abjuring that duty is cowardly and lends credence to Jasper’s claims. Follow your usual routine. Ignore any cuts. Hold your head high and look people in the eye. You are an exemplary chaperon and a pattern card of propriety. Demonstrating decorum will raise doubts about the stories, whereas skulking at home will add fuel to the fires.”

  She paced the library, searching for an argument that might sway him. He was right, which made it difficult. But she could hardly discuss her real reasons.

  Attending the assembly would throw down a gauntlet for Jasper, forcing him to invent new charges because she was not yet vanquished. Rockhurst’s escort would trumpet his support, making further investigation difficult and shocking the gossips. He would spend the entire evening deflecting cuts and planting doubts. And he would have to guard against Jasper’s inevitable counterattack.

  Could she hide her attraction amidst all of that? Revealing it would hurt Laura, disgust Rockhurst, and confirm her reputation as a wanton.

  Then there was Laura. Having to battle Jasper and the gossips would leave Rockhurst no time for courtship – time Laura counted on to bring him up to scratch. And the cuts and insults would prove how badly these rumors were affecting them all. Earls chose their wives with their heads, not their hearts. It wouldn’t do to remind him that Laura might erode his credit and tarnish his image. Without scandal to distract him, a day of theater, dinner, and an assembly would focus his attention entirely on Laura. So she must act in Laura’s best interests and stay home.

  “No one will question my decision to remain here,” she said firmly, returning to his side. “Annie’s ankle remains weak, so I must look after Sarah and conduct today’s lessons. I cannot expect Mary to give up this trip to the theater.”

  “Unless Annie re-injured her ankle in the last hour, she is fine. And you know very well that Sarah does not do formal lessons on Saturdays – I cannot believe she would lie to me.”

  Damn! She was running out of excuses.

  “Are you afraid to face the world?” he asked, stepping in front of her. One finger turned up her chin, forcing her to look at him.

  “Of course not!” She whirled away to stare out the window. Her knees wobbled from his touch. She prayed he hadn’t noticed.

  “You will accompany us to town,” he ordered. “I vowed to redeem your reputation. The task is difficult enough without creating new hurdles.”

  “Attending is a mistake,” she repeated. He had not moved, so she turned to face him. The sun pouring through the window would turn her into a silhouette, hiding her expression. “It will reveal your purpose, inciting Jasper to new lies.”

  “That is less onerous than confirming his older ones. Either we all go, or none of us goes. I will not be a party to making the problem worse.”

  “Very well.” She shut her mouth before she could add, We’ll stay. The day would be a disaster, but Rockhurst was adamant. Laura would never forgive her for canceling the outing. Nor would Mary. Even William would be upset, and not just on Laura’s account. He hoped to revive his courtship of Alicia Wyath. The only one not doomed to disappointment was Mary.

  As she headed upstairs to change, she pondered Rockhurst’s stubbornness. He w
as exaggerating the damage that staying home might cause, but at the same time he was dismissing the trouble Jasper would raise when he discovered this investigation. Such muddled thinking hinted at impatience – or temper. She could not forget what temper had done to him in Exeter that day. If he felt he had to fulfill his vow before offering for Laura, he might act hastily to force the issue.

  Or there might be a darker motive behind his insistence, she realized as she pulled out her best gown. She hadn’t forgotten her earlier fears. Had William convinced Rockhurst to spy on her? She was innocent, of course, but perhaps he thought attending the assembly might cause a partner to reveal guilt.

  Impatient suitor or scheming investigator? Either way, she was condemned to a painful day.

  * * * *

  Blake scanned the assembly room as he ushered Catherine inside. He would rather be anywhere but here. She was right that Jasper would initiate another round of rumors. Yet leaving her home would have put Laura on his arm, raising expectations he could never fulfill.

  The admission increased his guilt.

  Catherine’s arguments had been sound, though he still believed that holding her head high was the best course. But he had selfishly twisted facts and exaggerated consequences to force her to accompany him. He’d been desperate, though that was a poor excuse. Manners demanded that he participate in the entertainments provided by his host, but he expected William to disappear once they reached town, leaving him with only Laura and Mary. It would have placed him in the untenable position of damaging Laura’s reputation when he failed to offer. Even the tale he’d spun to Mrs. Telcor wouldn’t protect her if William wandered off.

  So he’d forced Catherine into a painful evening. He would do what he could to minimize the agony, but hovering nearby would make the rumors worse by hinting that she was under his protection.

  He had to spread his attentions equally among William and the three ladies. So far, he had maneuvered to sit with Mary at the theater. Laura had grabbed the seat on his other side, but he had exchanged comments only with Mary during the play, then procured refreshments alone during the intervals.