Starr Fated

by G E Griffin

  I closed my eyes in defeat, and then took a deep breath before launching myself into deep unchartered waters.

  “Yes, Liam. I’ll return to London. I’ll be there waiting for you when you get back.”

  And so it began.

  ~*~

  Knowing how much of a micro manager Liam was, I really don’t know why I was surprised by the fact that before he left, he handed me a large folder containing the following items:

  Comprehensive details of the Butler’s Wharf apartment, complete with a set of key cards and security codes, along with instructions that I was to feel free to change any of the décor, hang any pictures that I wanted etc, etc. Butlers Wharf. Of course. Why hadn’t I guessed Liam would just happen to have an empty apartment in one of the most prestigious prime locations in London?

  A contract for the position of Associate Designer at Starr Capital Ventures, giving full details of the very generous package.

  A brand new, latest version iPhone, with a fully paid up unlimited monthly contract.

  Details of the new Gmail accounts he’d set up for us to use to correspond while he was away, as he felt they would be ‘more appropriate for personal conversations than work accounts’ – I was to log in and change my password as soon as possible.

  Details of the Skype accounts he had set up for us for the same purpose.

  Liam insisted on taking some photos on his phone before he left, saying he wanted to have some pictures to look at while he was away because he was going to miss me. And I did understand, because I felt as though a huge chunk of me was being ripped out as I watched Liam driving away. Although I felt apprehensive about what I'd agreed to, I knew in my heart of hearts that I'd really had no option, however things eventually turned out between us in the long term. I could deny it no longer. Resistance was futile.

  I wanted Liam to be my first lover, nobody else. Only him. He is The One.

  And he really had pulled out all the stops to try and convince me to be with him, so I believed that for now at least he was sincere. How he would feel in another month or two when the novelty of bedding a virgin had worn off remained to be seen. But if the worst came to the worst and it all went tits up, if I could just stick the job out for a few months, that would look sufficiently respectable on my CV, wouldn’t it?

  So I decided to stop fighting the attraction, and just go with it. I even sent Liam a text that for me was almost slushy, which he would get just before his flight was due to leave.

  Missing you already. Have a good trip. Let me know when you reach NY safely. S.x

  I was thrilled to get a reply back from him virtually straight away, and found myself grinning like a soppy teenager, as I sat and used the wifi at Aoife’s. Luckily she was busy in the shop downstairs, so I had some peace and quiet for once.

  Missing you too, more than you can imagine. Will be in touch. L.x

  Oh and get in touch he most certainly did. The next day when I went over to Aoife's to use the wifi again, I discovered a very long and very detailed email that had arrived not long after he must have touched down in New York. I imagine he’d possibly drafted it during his flight, ready to send as soon as he landed.

  From: LiamStarr@gmail.com

  To: fieryangel@gmail.com

  Date: 10 May 2012

  Subject: Some thoughts….

  Seraphina,

  I want you to know that your decision to return to London has made me very happy and very keen to return as soon as possible. I think the earliest I can get back is probably going to be next Friday, but I’ll keep in touch so we can arrange our first date. And yes, I'm aware that sounds very adolescent of me, talking about dating, but I suggest that’s how we start off, just getting to know each other a little better.

  Some additional points for your information.

  I hope you remembered to change your Gmail and Skype passwords as I instructed? I presume there are places where you can access the internet even if it’s not possible at your grandmother’s house. Another reason I can't wait for you to be back in the UK – easier communication. Are you using your new phone now instead of that ancient old one of yours?

  I’ve transferred sufficient funds directly into your bank account to cover the cost of your flight back to London. Let me know your flight details as soon as you have them, and I’ll arrange for Greg to collect you from the airport and take you straight to the apartment. He’s the chauffeur who took you back when you were working at the restaurant, so you already know him.

  I've told you I’ll wait however long it takes for you feel ready for a sexual relationship, and please trust that I mean this most sincerely. However, I think it would be prudent to make some preparations - I assume you’re not already on the pill? If not, The Parkside Clinic in Harley Street has an excellent reputation. It’s where I have my regular checkups, and I suggest you make an appointment there for a consultation regarding the most suitable form of contraception. I’ll inform them that you are authorised to charge my account.

  I’ll forward a copy of the results of my latest STD tests, completed after my last partner, which prove that I’m clear. In any case, let me reassure you that I’ve always practised safe sex and had regular screening. I would prefer for us not to have to use condoms if at all possible, but of course I’ll respect your wishes if that is your preference.

  As you’re so delightfully sexually inexperienced, I can suggest some informative sites for you to read if you like. And I'm not talking about porn, I’m talking about helpful basics here.

  Shopping - I’ll authorise you to charge items to my accounts at Harvey Nichols and Selfridges. Please go ahead and buy yourself some nice underwear, and book yourself any beauty treatments or waxing you require.

  That’s all that comes to mind for the time being. I look forward to receiving your reply with any questions or queries you may have for me – please feel free to ask anything at all, and I promise to answer as honestly as I can.

  I really want this to work between us, Seraphina.

  Liam.

  I sat there gob smacked once I’d read his missive through a couple of times. What had I got myself into? But I decided I was going to give as good as I got.

  From: fieryangel@gmail.com

  To: LiamStarr@gmail.com

  Date: 10 May 2012

  Subject: Re: Some thoughts….

  Liam,

  First off, how come you chose such a boring email address for yourself, while I get to be a fiery angel, which I rather like, by the way. I’ve opened a new account for you with a far more appropriate name: thebigguy@gmail.com. The password is controlfreak1 – only change it if you feel my knowing it poses a security risk in some way.

  I really like the idea of us dating and getting to know each other, because I feel I hardly know anything about you at all. From the way you wolfed down your breakfast, I take it you’re not a fussy eater, but what is your favourite type of food? What don’t you like to eat? Music – what do you like to listen to? There are so many things I don’t know about you.

  Now about your other points ‘for my information’

  Yes, I changed my passwords. No, I haven’t started using my new phone yet, because I haven’t figured it out, no one has the number apart from you, and most of the time here I don’t even have a signal.

  There was no need to transfer money for my airline ticket. I still have sufficient funds left from my SCV wages. Neither do I require Greg to collect me from Heathrow when there is a perfectly acceptable tube link I can use.

  I'm very happy that you’re prepared to wait for us to progress our relationship. I’m not on the pill, so although it wasn’t exactly the most romantic suggestion, I accept it’s sensible to sort out some reliable contraception in advance. But I’m more than happy to make an appointment with my usual GP at the university campus health centre rather than take up your offer to attend some snooty and no doubt hideously expensive private clinic.

  Your sexual health status - I’m glad you bro
ught this up, because I have some questions for you. Do you have any idea how many previous partners you’ve had? Do you keep a tally of all of them? Have you been seeing someone lately that you need to break things off with? I may be inexperienced, but I won’t be messed around, Liam, so let me spell it out and make it crystal clear to you. If I get even the slightest hint that you’re back to your old man-whoring ways, it’s over between us, understand? Whatever you may have got up to in the past and deemed acceptable, I'm only interested in a totally monogamous relationship. So if this isn’t what you have in mind for us, or if you aren’t sure that you’ll be able to contain your sexual needs until I feel confident to go ahead, let’s call it quits right now and save us both a lot of grief.

  Your Sex Ed suggestion - I’m not totally ignorant, even if I haven’t actually done the deed. You make me sound like a little school girl - I hope that kind of role play isn’t one of your strange kinks?

  Harvey Nichols and Selfridges? Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll choose where I go shopping, thank you all the same, and if you were suggesting that I buy myself some tarty underwear then I'm sorry to disappoint you but that is not my scene, and frankly it’s such a terrible dirty old man type of cliché that I'm rather disappointed in you.

  I too hope we can make this work, but I think we need to make sure we have the same vision before we get too far down the line.

  Sera.

  I hit the send button before I could change my mind, and then slammed my laptop shut. I tried my hardest to stop all sorts of pictures flashing through my head of Liam with all the countless other women he’d slept with before. Except sleeping wasn’t what he’d been doing with them, was it? All kinds of kinky sex more like. Jamie and the other boys used to joke about how there wasn’t anything The Big Guy hadn't tried. How could I possibly keep up with him? Obviously I knew all the basics, but after that I was pretty ignorant I supposed. And Jamie had started off by promising to be patient and wait until I was ready, and look how that had turned out because he’d been so frustrated.

  I reopened my lap top, and Googled kinky sex, but quickly deleted what came up as being far too pornographic. Then it suddenly occurred to me who I could turn to for some advice. Abbey. I needed to speak to her anyway, seeing as Liam had said she was the one who’d told him where to find me. What had she been playing at? So I sent her a quick email telling her I was coming back, and that we really needed to meet up to catch up. And then finally I shut down my laptop and headed back to Nana’s cottage where I knew I would be incommunicado for a while, and where I could try and get my head around everything that had happened in the last few days.

  Chapter 22

  Liam

  My first raft of meetings in New York went very well, and the new company logo and image Seraphina had created certainly played a large part in promoting the impression of a vibrant and modern company. So I was feeling in a pretty buoyant mood as I returned to my suite at The Waldorf Astoria. I spoke to the concierge on my way in to organise a light meal to be sent up via room service so that I could continue working, having already eaten a pretty substantial meal at my lunch meeting – one thing you could never accuse the Yanks of was stingy portions.

  I was happy to see I'd received a long email from Seraphina, but I decided to wait until I could give it my full attention to read it through properly and reply. So now as I sat at the desk in my suite, I carefully read it. I smiled at the new Gmail account name she suggested, happy to use it if that was her wish. But as I read further, I started to get frustrated with Seraphina. Why did she have such a problem accepting help from me? She stubbornly informed me she didn't need the money I'd transferred to cover her plane ticket, she didn't want to be met at the airport, that apparently she’d rather wait three weeks to see her NHS doctor for contraceptive advice than go privately, and seemed offended by the idea of shopping in the places I'd suggested. And my suggestion that she treat herself to some new underwear seemed to have given her the impression that I was some kind of a pervert. Maybe she hadn't realised I'd seen her rather basic undies drying on the airer in her room in the student house, and I freely admit I enjoy seeing a woman in nice sexy lingerie – what man doesn't?

  But when I got to the part of her email where she started asking about how many previous partners I’d had, and calling me a man-whore, the alarm bells really began to ring. Rather than answer her in an email, I decided it would be far better to speak to her, so I tried calling her. This was exactly why I’d given her a new, all expenses paid mobile – so that I could contact her whenever I needed without her having to worry about the phone bill.

  ‘The person you are calling is temporarily unavailable’

  Shit. Either she still hadn't even switched the mobile on, or there was no signal where she was. It was the same with her old number as well, and my back up plan to talk to her via Skype was also useless if she had no internet access. I had the landline number, but working out what time it was in Ireland, I realised I couldn’t ring and risk disturbing her Grandmother. So I had no option but to send her an email and wait until she had a chance to read it.

  From: thebigguy@gmail.com

  To: fieryangel@gmail.com

  Date: 11 May 2013

  Subject: Don’t bite my head off…

  Seraphina,

  I tried to call to speak to you in person to answer all your questions, but I couldn’t get through. Please tell me you’ve already booked your flight back to London and will soon be back where it’ll be so much easier to communicate effectively with you? As it is, I have no option but to reply by email.

  So, first of all, thank you for your comprehensive reply, and I look forward to comparing our tastes in things like food and music.

  But can I just ask why you seem to take offence whenever I try to make your life a little easier or offer to assist you in any way? Isn’t that what you do for someone that you care about, especially as you know I’m trying to be a much nicer man? Frankly I’m offended that you seem set on keeping me at a distance and shutting me out, when I thought we’d agreed we’re going to try really hard to make things work between us.

  As for using a ‘snooty’ private clinic for contraceptive advice– go ahead and use the NHS if you prefer to wait about a month for a non urgent appointment. I only want the very best for you, so I thought it would be far nicer for you to be examined by a very sympathetic and highly qualified doctor in pleasant surroundings. But the choice is yours.

  On the subject of being unromantic, I personally don’t think fumbling about with condoms is very romantic, when with some foresight and planning hopefully we won’t need to. And trust me, I’m planning on giving you the most romantic experience I can when we finally make love for the first time.

  With regard to my ‘man-whoring ways’, I’m more than happy to fully answer any questions you have, but I’d far rather discuss this with you in person, face to face, or least via Skype so that I can gauge your reaction and prevent any possible misunderstandings.

  However, let me just spell out one thing. I too am only interested in a totally monogamous relationship, and I will certainly not be ‘messing you about’ in any way whatsoever. It may surprise you to learn that ever since I clapped eyes on you, I haven’t had the slightest interest in anybody else. It’s only you, Seraphina, so I’ll be patient and wait as long as it takes for you to be ready.

  On a more upbeat note, I thought you’d be pleased to know that your designs have generated a lot of very positive comments during my meetings here, exactly as I’d hoped. So aside from everything else, I’m delighted you’ve agreed to accept the position in SCV, because there are lots of very interesting challenges waiting for you to start working on as soon as possible.

  Please let me know when you’re heading back to London, because we can talk everything through so much more easily then. And if you insist on making your way from Heathrow to the apartment on the tube, be aware that it’ll take you over an hour and a half, will involve several change
s and then a walk, all with your luggage in tow. Look it up for yourself if you don’t believe me. My offer stands for Greg to pick you up. Look on it as providing him with some valuable employment if that makes you feel better, because it happens to be the truth. You see, I do my research, so I know Greg is self employed and only gets paid for the pickups he’s assigned. That’s why he’s so reliable – he really needs the work because he has a wife and three young children to support. He knows there’s never any quibble from me about paying for his services, so he’s always more than happy to drive me and goes out of his way to provide a good service. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. So, do you still want to take the tube?

  Really looking forward to seeing you so that we can talk everything through properly.

  Liam.

  Once I’d sent it, I tried to push my niggling worries about Seraphina’s prickly attitude to the back of my mind and get on with some work.

  If I'm only on a relatively short trip to the States, I try to keep myself on UK time, so that I don’t have to re-adjust my body clock both ways. I'm lucky – I have the ability to switch off and fall asleep practically anywhere, and very often a short twenty minute power nap is all I need to keep me alert and functioning. Going for a swim and a work out in the gym also helps to revitalise me, and so I always insist my PA books a hotel with decent facilities.

  But even though I had a mountain of preparation to complete for the following day, as I thought about Seraphina the recent conversation I'd had with Jamie came to mind.

  “Don’t you think you should at least try to apologise to Seraphina for your appalling behaviour towards her?” I asked him. I’d insisted we meet up for lunch the day before I left.

  “I think it’s best that we both move on, so I don't see the point in contacting her. I know I didn't come out of this well, but Seraphina acted badly too, Liam. She was a total fucking prick tease the way she really led me on and then freaked out after I’d spent months being patient with her. Anyway, you should be pleased, because it turns out you were right about her all along - she is way too much trouble. Poppy is far more my type of girl - one who likes to fuck just as much as I do,” he grinned at me. He certainly didn't seem broken hearted in any way.