The Pretend Husband: Romance In the City, Book 1

by Declan Rhodes

  I said, “Well, I think he’s about the same height as me.”

  “You think?” asked Sarah with a raised eyebrow.

  “Okay, yes he is. I noticed that when he was looking over my shoulder into the bathroom mirror yesterday morning.”

  “What color are his eyes?” asked Sarah.

  I could feel an extra thump in my chest when I said, “They are green, a rich green like a forest, and they have these brown flecks in them.”

  “You’ve been looking closely,” said Sarah. “And when you stared in the bathroom mirror together, were you both shirtless?”

  I nodded and said, “Yes. It was first thing in the morning. Alex was just out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, and I was brushing my teeth.”

  “And you didn’t…” began Sarah.

  “NO…and do you want to know more about what he looks like?”

  “Oh, yeah. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Go on…” She rubbed at her fingertips with a napkin.

  “He has sandy brown hair. It’s wavy, and he tries to keep it brushed off his forehead, but it tends to just fall toward his eyebrows. It’s adorable. Some days he fights it with hair product, and other days he just lets it do its thing.”

  “Other days?” asked Sarah. “He’s been living with you for just three days, hasn’t he?”

  I counted on my fingers and said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Three days. I guess we talked a little bit about hair care.”

  “Do you know what it feels like?”

  “It? I haven’t even looked at ‘it.’”

  “Mind out of the gutter, Liam. His hair. Do you know what his hair feels like?”

  I knew the answer to her question. It was surprisingly silky and fine. Alex asked me to touch it that first morning in the bathroom. He said, “Feel this, Liam. My hair is already so much finer than when I was a little kid. By the time I’m 40, I’m likely to be nearly bald.”

  I answered Sarah’s question by saying, “Yeah, I do,” and I quickly followed with, “Alex’s frame is a little bigger than mine.”

  “Smooth chest?”

  “Yes, like me.”

  Sarah reached out for my shirt collar and said, “Let me see.”

  I slapped her hand away. “You’ve seen the goods before at the beach. You don’t need a peek here on the street.”

  “He sounds cute to me. I think you should send him to my place to do the odd jobs. I’ll feed him lunch.”

  I wiped my fingers clean and tossed the bratwurst wrapper and napkins into a nearby trash can. I said, “You know, maybe I should have you over for dinner. Then you can tell Alex about your maintenance woes. I expect that he might volunteer to help.”

  “How’s his job hunt going?”

  I was relieved that Sarah was leaving Alex’s physical description behind. I said, “I don’t know. I don’t try to pester him about that. He’s such a nice guy. I hope we can stay friends when he moves out, so I don’t see any need to cause friction. After all, he likes to play Battleship.”

  “Wait,” said Sarah. “The two of you sit around and play Battleship? You play that game with the pegs and the boats and shout, ‘You just sunk my battleship?’”

  I remembered Alex grabbing my leg when he won, and he moved his fingers up just past my knee before saying, “Let’s play another.”

  I said to Sarah, “That’s the one. I’ve loved it since I was a kid. Of course, we play it online now.”

  “You know what, Liam? All of the rumors about you are true.”

  “Rumors…about me?”

  “Everyone says you are a nice guy. After my 4th of July party, my uptight banking buddies all were talking about what a nice guy you are. They asked if you would be back at my Halloween bash, and I said, ‘Of course he will.’”

  “You said that without asking me?”

  She tilted her head and asked, “Was I wrong? Will you be at my Halloween party, Liam?”

  “Of course I will.” I heard the words tumble out of my mouth and laughed.

  “Well, Alex sounds like a good guy, Liam, and it’s a sweet thing that you’re doing, but try and keep in mind what happened to my Aunt Stella.”

  “Aunt Stella?” I was pretty certain Sarah had never brought up an Aunt Stella in the two years that I’d known her. She did seem to have an endless parade of relatives, but Stella wasn’t one of them. When I asked her about the size of her family, she just said, “We’re Catholic. My relatives have lots of kids. My aunt’s family populates half of their church. It’s a small town.”

  “Yes, Aunt Stella,” said Sarah with a firm nod of her head. “When I was a little girl, she told me about this guy named Edward who appeared on her doorstep one day.”

  “On her doorstep?”

  “Okay, I guess he was meandering up and down on the sidewalk out by the street, but it might as well have been her doorstep. Aunt Stella has an eagle eye, and she knows everything that goes on in her neighborhood.”

  “She invited Edward to stay at her house until he got on his feet?”

  Sarah settled into her story and said, “Well, at first she just invited him in for coffee. She said that he was a little disheveled, but he had an honest smile. She had a good gut feeling about him.”

  “It sounds like this story is going to end up in a bad place.”

  Sarah held a finger to her lips and said, “Shh, it’s my story.”

  I nodded silently.

  “My uncle Ted wasn’t that happy about him sleeping on the couch in the living room because Uncle Ted couldn’t watch his late-night reruns of Perry Mason. Fortunately, Aunt Stella convinced him that it was all worth a month’s supply of good deeds.”

  I nearly burst out laughing, but I let Sarah continue her story. I gestured with my hand for her to continue to roll out the tale of Edward, the itinerant guest.

  “It all went well for a week. Edward got all cleaned up, and he made his signature macaroni and cheese for dinner one night. Aunt Stella said that Uncle Ted called it, ‘The best macaroni and cheese EVER.’”

  “Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.”

  “Until…” whispered Sarah.

  I opened my eyes wider and asked, “Until?”

  Sarah kicked at the sidewalk with the toe of her purple pumps and said, “On Tuesday morning, Aunt Stella got up, made a pot of coffee, and called for Edward.”

  “He was gone?”

  “There was no answer. When Aunt Stella checked Edward’s room, he was gone, and he took her chickens with him.”

  I narrowed my eyes and furrowed my brow, “Took her chickens? Were they raising chickens? I thought you said all of your relatives lived in the city.”

  “No, silly. Edward took the whole chickens right out of the freezer.” Then I saw her wink at me, and we both started to laugh. She said, “I had you going for most of it, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, you did. Do you even have an Aunt Stella?”

  Sarah said, “No, but I think that’s a good name for an aunt. Don’t you?”

  I glanced at my cell phone and said, “It’s about time to head back to the museum. You really should come over for dinner. I could grill out on the deck.”

  “This weekend?”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  “One more question, Liam.”

  “Just one?”

  “Well, you know me. I could keep you here all afternoon asking my questions, but there is the big one.”

  “The big one?”

  She nodded solemnly. “Yes, do you like Alex?”

  “I guess so. He’s a nice guy.” I knew what she was getting at, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted to answer. It was easier to try to dodge and deflect.

  She was instantly on to me. She said, “No, you know that’s not what I mean. Do you really like Alex? Do you wish you could kiss him?”

  I shivered at the suggestion. Every morning when I saw Alex’s face, I wanted to kiss him. I told Sarah a little white lie when I said, “I don’t think about that.
I’m considering it an impossibility even if I did want it. That way I don’t worry about it at all.”

  “Impossible? Is he disqualified? What’s up with that?”

  “I think he already gave up on Milwaukee for the long run. He says that he would like to go back to St. Paul once he saves up a little bit of money and start back at square one, but he doesn’t want to move in with his parents. He wants a job in place so he can rent an apartment. It sounds like he does like Minnesota even if it’s cold and close to his parents.”

  Sarah said, “St. Paul is only five hours away. They have art museums there. I know. I’ve been there.”

  I shook my head and said, “Long-distance relationships are destined to fail. I think that was written on a billboard somewhere. It’s a fact. They never work.”

  “You did not see it anywhere, and, yes, sometimes they work. Do I need to tell you another story?”

  “Is this one about Aunt Cecelia?”

  Sarah grinned and said, “No, I think it was Uncle Lyman. He met a beautiful woman on a work trip to San Francisco. She stole his heart, and he had to go back to retrieve it.”

  I spoke slowly, “He left his heart in…seriously, Sarah, that one is a little much even for you.”

  4

  Alex

  Liam’s neighborhood was an oasis of calm in the city, and, wherever you walked, you were always only a few blocks from the edge of the bluff overlooking Lake Michigan. What Liam considered his home neighborhood was an area of perhaps twenty blocks square. At the opposite corner of the neighborhood from his house stood a dog park for Chester’s social conditioning. Liam explained that city officials carved it out of the space left behind when a house burnt down nearly a decade ago. Instead of rebuilding, the owners of the lot offered to deed the ground to the city with the understanding that dogs would share the space in perpetuity.

  The Saturday after I moved in, we finally had the opportunity to walk Chester to the park together. Liam dressed down in worn blue jeans and a university T-Shirt. He looked just as attractive as he did in his pressed khakis and dress shirt for work. In fact, the comfortable clothing suited him well. I wanted to touch the soft, worn fabric as it stretched over his chest. Then I could feel the firm, solid pounding of Liam’s heart beneath.

  However, when he tried to rouse me early in the morning, I soon found out that, unlike in many households, Saturdays were busy days for Liam. It was the day for running errands, cleaning house, and tending to anything that didn’t get proper attention during the week. I moaned about it, but I finally rolled out of bed ten minutes after 8:00.

  With one eye closed and the other blinking, I stumbled into the kitchen and asked, “Are you sure this is Saturday? I think my phone says it’s just barely after 8:00. My Saturdays don’t start until 10:00.”

  Liam handed me a mug of coffee with a cheerful smile filling his face. I thought the smile would look even better if he were setting the steaming drink on the nightstand while I rolled over in bed to catch a few more winks. He said, “I was up an hour ago reading for the class on primitive painters that I mentioned I’m taking. Now, Chester has a hot date with a border collie soon. Then I need to get the place cleaned up. Sarah is coming over to grill out for dinner. Remember?”

  I did have vague recollections of conversations about Sarah. She was Liam’s best friend, and he talked a lot about her. I couldn’t put all the pieces together in my brain without seeing her in person. I was eager to meet her and ask her a few questions about Liam. I took the coffee and said, “Thank you.” I found a seat at the kitchen table and asked, “Dogs can have hot dates? I thought you got Chester fixed.”

  “I wasn’t talking about him getting anyone pregnant. It’s just a date.” Liam pointed at my ragged T-Shirt and mismatched gym shorts saying, “Why don’t you go take a shower and get dressed. Then we can head to the dog park. We might even get there a little early.”

  “No breakfast?”

  “We’ll get it on the walk. There’s a little bakery on the way. They have great donuts and breakfast sandwiches if you need a little protein.”

  My mouth watered at the idea of donuts. They were a real weakness. I self-consciously patted my belly and said, “I’ll get myself put together. Meanwhile, take a look at the gutters on the house. I didn’t mention it last night, but those little weedy plants up there are gone.”

  * * *

  It was a bright, sunny day, but the air was still crisp and cool. Fall was on its way. Yellow and red-orange leaves littered the sidewalk. Most of the trees still had enough leaves in their crowns to paint the neighborhood in bright, sunny colors. Liam veered off into the grass between the sidewalk and street while pointing at the fruit of a ginkgo tree on the sidewalk. He said, “Avoid those. We don’t want to bring any back home.”

  I watched Chester follow his owner dutifully and said, “Oh, I know all about those. Don’t worry. I won’t get any on my shoes.”

  Some of the neighbors were already out in their yards raking up the fallen leaves. They wore quilted jackets and thick sweatshirts. I asked, “When does the first snowfall here?”

  Liam said, “Sometimes before Halloween. Occasionally, we have snow covering the ground by Thanksgiving, but sometimes it’s mostly bare until Christmas.”

  I shivered and said, “One of these days I’ll make it to the Southwest. I just need to save up all of the extra money once I get back to St. Paul. I will be happy to leave the cold behind someday. Maybe you and Chester need a little extra sunshine, too. Meanwhile, I guess the frozen north will have to do.”

  The dog park was busy. It wasn’t a massive space, perhaps one half of a city block, and I quickly counted ten dogs and their accompanying humans. After we passed through the entrance gate, Liam glanced back to make sure it latched, and then he leaned over to unsnap Chester’s leash.

  I expected to see Chester bolt into the crowd, but instead, he just trotted slowly up to a small group of four dogs. He held back like the new dog in town waiting to be noticed by the old guard.

  Liam said, “He knows two of those dogs. See the mostly black and white one?”

  “Yes, is that the hot date?”

  “Yes, that’s Pearl. They romp when it’s just the two of them, but around a group, they are both a little more subdued.”

  I watched Liam turn his attention to the people gathered. He caught the eye of a middle-aged woman in an army-green quilted jacket. She waved first, and he responded in kind.

  “Is that Pearl’s owner?” I asked.

  “Yes, that’s Rhonda. She’s great. She lives in an apartment overlooking the lake and works at the hospital. She’s a nurse.”

  “And who’s the little guy over there smiling in your direction?”

  Liam turned to look. Then he waved. That was all it took. A shorter guy, perhaps five foot seven, boldly walked in our direction. He was approximately our age, somewhere in his mid-to-late 20s with a thick, full, black beard. As he approached, his eyes appeared friendly. Liam smiled and said, “Benny, meet my friend Alex.”

  Benny reached out a hand for an eager shake. He said, “I’m flying solo this morning. Melissa is covering for someone at the store.” He turned toward the dogs and said, “Chester is mellow today. Is he feeling okay?”

  “Alex has been helping out making sure he gets plenty of outdoor exercise.”

  Benny cocked his head to the right and asked, “Is Alex a new…”

  As his voice trailed off, Liam said, “No.” Then he added, for my benefit, “Benny owns the rambunctious golden retriever over there in the corner. His name is Lyndon.”

  I shoved my hands in my jeans pockets and nodded. I was flattered by the question Benny nearly asked. I leaned against Liam’s shoulder and said, “He’s a beautiful dog.”

  Benny bounced on the balls of his feet and said, “Thank you.” A restless kind of energy radiated from his body.

  “Have you seen Jake and Fritz?” asked Liam.

  “Oh, they were just leaving when I
got here. Jake said that he was getting ready for an overnight camping trip, and it was Fritz’s last stop before the boarding kennel.” Benny turned toward me and offered, “Fritz is a proud little Scottie. He’s coal black, and he thinks he rules the park.”

  “I think he’s right. He does rule the park,” said Liam. “He’s in charge of Jake as well.”

  Benny and Liam both chuckled softly. Their laughter was interrupted by growls and three barks in quick succession. Liam snapped his head to turn his attention back to the dogs. He said, “That’s Chester. Fuck! What’s going on?”

  I trailed behind Liam as he jogged into the fray. Chester was posturing and nipping at a mixed breed dog who had at least a 20 lb. advantage.

  Liam flailed and waved his hands shouting at the other dog to go away. It didn’t help. The dogs ignored him and moved their scuffle to the side. He scanned the crowd and shouted a question in frustration. “Who’s dog is this?”

  A petite blond woman began calling, “Bradley! Leave him alone! Bradley, come!”

  Liam glared at the woman and added his shouting at Chester to the chaos. I whispered calmly, “Hand me the leash.”

  Liam gave me a questioning stare. When I nodded, he handed the leash over. With some quick hand-eye coordination, I managed to slip the leash under Chester’s belly while he continued to posture and nip at Bradley. Creating a loose loop over his back, I snapped the leash firmly toward my body until it tightened around Chester’s midsection.

  Thrown off balance, Chester disengaged, and Bradley was left crouching and moving his eyes back and forth between Chester and me. He relaxed and lay down. The young woman stepped up beside Bradley and said, “I am so sorry. I’m not sure what got into him. We’re new to the park. I need to bring him back when there are fewer dogs around.”

  Liam breathed hard and said, “Yes, that’s a good idea. It’s a well-behaved group here, and aggressive dogs are not welcome for long.”