Till the Break of Dawn

by Tracey H. Kitts

  It wasn’t that I felt his life’s history was all my business. I simply wanted to know more about him. Isn’t it natural to want to know more about someone you’re attracted to?

  I let Jesse walk ahead of me a few paces so that I could shamelessly admire his ass. It was in that moment I realized I had stopped comparing him to Marcus. Even though it had been seven years and I had made the decision that we should stop seeing each other, I often thought of Marcus. If I had to put a number on it, I’d say about once a week he still crossed my mind. But as I watched those jeans, molded to the curve of Jesse’s perfect ass I realized this was the first time I’d thought about Marcus since mine and Jesse’s first date. That was a good thing, right?

  I looked back at Jamie walking along behind me and she smiled. She looked pleased with herself. Maybe it was because she’d been teasing me about the way I looked at him. And something told me I’d just been caught again.

  Not thinking of Marcus for almost three weeks was a good thing if I was trying to move on, right? Then why did my chest ache? Why did not thinking of him until now feel like I’d lost something?

  The afternoon was cloudy and the air smelled like rain. The cool breeze blowing in from the north made our walk tolerable during the day. Otherwise I would have waited till dark. I’m still not sure why I’d started to include Jesse in my walks. Spending time alone by the lake had always been peaceful to me. And now I had invited three people to join me. Guess I was tired of always being alone.

  We had almost come full circle when I decided to stop and sit underneath a big oak tree. Everyone else sat down around me, stretched out their legs and took off their shoes.

  “I forgot how pretty this part of the country is,” Mandy said, sighing. “Guess I might have been getting a little home sick.”

  Without warning Jesse took hold of the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. My jaw dropped. Damn he was gorgeous. He had an amazing golden tan and every inch of his skin glistened with a fine sheen of sweat. The ridges of his abs flexed as he leaned back and propped on his elbows, seeming completely oblivious to the way we were all watching him. His sexiness was effortless and I think that’s what made him so appealing.

  With considerable effort, I closed my mouth. Mandy cleared her throat and started asking Jamie about the flower arrangements for the wedding.

  “So, what’s the rush?” Jesse asked. “You seem to be putting this together awfully fast.”

  Mandy smiled. “Didn’t Dawn tell you?”

  As he shook his head I answered, “It wasn’t my business to tell.”

  “I’m pregnant,” Mandy answered, beaming. “We want to hurry up before it becomes obvious.”

  “Oh,” Jesse said. “Well, congratulations. How far along? That is if you don’t mind me being nosy?”

  The way he smiled I think he could have asked anything and she would have answered. Couldn’t say I blamed her.

  “Three months this week.”

  He laughed softly. “Should we add pickles to the catering menu?”

  Mandy laughed and tossed a clump of grass in his direction. She missed horribly, but it was fun to watch. It was nice to have a boyfriend that got along so well with my friends. Wow. Did I really just call him my boyfriend?

  *****

  The next day I was up early to cook breakfast. Jesse was supposed to stop by and have coffee with me out on the deck, another ritual I’d started to share. This whole being with a normal guy thing did have its perks. Like going out in the daylight to share coffee. As I took some eggs and milk out of the fridge I made up my mind about something. I was going to ask Jesse to spend the night with me. It wasn’t that I hadn’t slept with guys since Marcus. It was just that this meant something more. I was actually looking to get serious and I felt like Jesse was the kind of guy I could get serious with.

  I was in the middle of scrambling some eggs when I heard a knock.

  “You’re early,” I said, opening the door.

  Jesse was standing there looking as good as ever, only he wasn’t wearing his usual smile.

  “Dawn, I’m afraid we’ll have to cancel our plans for today.”

  He put his hand on my shoulder and something in his touch gave away his nervousness. Okay, now I was worried. The tone of his voice didn’t sound right and as he reached to brush back a loose strand of my hair his hand shook.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He frowned. “My father is not doing too well.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “I’ve got to leave immediately for Texas. He’s in the hospital with pneumonia. I’m sorry to leave in a rush like this. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. It’s just that—”

  “Go,” I said, cutting him off. “Your dad is more important than having breakfast with me.”

  “Thanks.” He kissed me softly before turning to leave. “I’ll call you once I know something more.”

  Considering the grimness of the situation I averted my gaze when I caught myself admiring his ass yet again. I knew that Jesse and his father weren’t on the best of terms and hoped for both their sakes that this didn’t turn out badly. At least my mother and I had made a sort of truce. She didn’t tell me how to live my life and I tried not to do anything that she would disapprove of too badly.

  The smell of something burning reminded me about breakfast. “Shit.” I ran back inside and stirred the eggs. Luckily only one small section had started to burn. I was so caught up in my thoughts, worrying about Jesse, that I didn’t realize Jamie was in the house until she said something.

  “Saw Jesse leaving just now. Did you guys have a sleepover?”

  I couldn’t help laughing at the way she raised her eyebrows, giving me a suggestive look. She sauntered into the kitchen, her boots echoing on the hardwood floor. She’d picked up the habit of wearing cowboy boots with short skirts from me and I smiled when I noticed her outfit. What can I say? Country girls have their own sense of style.

  “No. He was supposed to have breakfast with me, but he’s got to leave for Texas.”

  Jamie walked over and snatched a piece of bacon from the plate beside me. She was wearing a blue tank top that brought out the color of her eyes.

  “Texas?”

  I sighed, stirring the eggs again. “Yeah. His dad is sick. He said he was in the hospital with pneumonia.”

  She frowned. “That’s awful. Not to sound insensitive, but could I join you for breakfast then?”

  I gave her a skeptical look.

  “What? I’m starving.”

  I laughed. “Of course. You know you don’t have to ask to stay.”

  My hair was still wet and as I turned to take up the eggs I tossed my long braid over one shoulder. Jamie gave me an appraising look.

  “Yep, you look too well organized for just having had a sleepover. Makeup all done, faded jeans and a cute little t-shirt. I should have noticed.” She took another piece of bacon. “By the way, yellow looks good on you.”

  While I got out some plates she said, “That’s terrible about Jesse’s father. Didn’t you say they didn’t get along?”

  “Yeah. Kind of like me and my mom, except worse I think.”

  Jamie got out the orange juice and sat it in the middle of the table. “Well crap.”

  “You were hoping for fresh squeezed?” I drawled.

  “No, I wanted to show him the menu before taking it over to Mandy.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Really? He has only been around for a few weeks and you think you have to have his opinion on the menu before taking it to the bride-to-be?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “Duh. He cooks like a motherfucker.”

  I laughed at her choice of words. My thoughts exactly.

  Chapter Eight

  When Mandy didn’t answer the door after a couple of minutes we thought she must be busy. So, Jamie and I sat on the front porch swing and decided to relax. After about five minutes Mandy’s brother Bill came pulling into the yard. His old pick-up truck was going so
fast he almost hit the bushes before coming to a stop.

  Bill looked just like Mandy. Same tall, slender build and same light blond hair. He got out of the truck and rushed up the steps.

  “Whoa, Bill. What’s the hurry?” I asked.

  “Have you guys seen Mandy? She’s not answering the home phone and I can’t get her on her cell.”

  “Maybe she’s taking a nap,” I suggested.

  He seemed really worried. I reached to take his hand, but realized he was still covered in grease. He and his dad owned a mechanic shop in town. He must have come straight from work. I placed my hand on his arm instead and gave what I hoped was a reassuring pat.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve been trying to reach her for the past two hours.”

  I knew that Mandy was staying with her brother while she was in town. The fact that he was so anxious about her not answering the phone was strange to me.

  “Didn’t you see her this morning?” I asked.

  He blushed as he dug a key out of his pants. “I spent the night at Maggie’s.”

  Jamie’s mouth fell open. “You and Maggie? I never would have guessed that.”

  “Doesn’t your dad stop by here before work too? I heard Mandy say before that you always ride together.”

  He turned the key and pushed the door open as he answered, “Dad is in Panama City visiting his sister for a couple of days.”

  “Oh.”

  Bill ran a hand through his hair, smearing grease across his forehead. “I’ve just got this awful feeling. I know it sounds stupid, but if I could just see her.” He searched the house frantically as he spoke and I walked fast to keep up with his long legs. When each room gave no trace of Mandy, I started to become worried myself. Her car was in the driveway. She had to be here.

  When we entered the laundry room I screamed and fell backward into Bill. My mind raced, trying so hard to reconcile what I’d just seen.

  Bill pushed me gently behind him, trying to shield me from what was already burned into my mind.

  “Jesus Christ.”

  Mandy was lying in the floor wearing a blue bathrobe, her hair spilled out around her like a golden curtain. She almost looked like an angel. The illusion was ruined by the fact that her throat was torn open. Jamie made a gagging noise and stepped out the back door.

  Bill knelt down beside Mandy and checked her pulse, but I knew it was already too late. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. My heart was beating so hard my chest hurt and I couldn’t breathe. I backed out of the room and pulled out my cell phone.

  I could hear Jamie talking, but had no idea what she was saying. I’m not even sure what I said to the police. All I can remember is giving them the address and reporting, “My friend has been murdered.”

  *****

  An hour later police were still swarming the house. Bill was in shock. After he was questioned one of the officers pulled me aside. His name was Darrell. He moved to town a few years back and had become a regular visitor to Our Place on his days off. He ran a hand through his black hair and I noticed he had started to gray at the temples. Darrell was about fourteen years older than me, but other than the gray he didn’t look it. He was sexy and under normal circumstances I would have appreciated the smile he tried to offer me. Actually, I had never seen him in an official capacity before and hearing everyone refer to him as Lt. Kirkland was throwing me off a bit. I kept forgetting they were talking about Darrell.

  “Dawn, we’re about to take out the … I mean Mandy. Could you maybe distract Bill for us, please?”

  I nodded. “Sure, Darrell. I’ll take him into the kitchen.” Then I remembered that Bill’s kitchen, like mine, didn’t have a door just an open archway. Normally, I liked houses designed with open areas like this. But now I would have given anything for a door.

  “Darrell,” I said, pulling him back by the hand. “Could you please take her out the back?”

  He gave me a questioning look.

  “The kitchen doesn’t have a door.”

  Reality dawned on his handsome features and he gave me a sympathetic pat on the back.

  “Sure thing.”

  We had considered closing the bar for the night. But after thinking it over we realized that when people heard about Mandy they would need a drink. It wasn’t about turning a profit; it was about being there when your friends and neighbors needed you. Well, they’d need a place to sit around and vent at least. Jamie had decided to go into town and get the bar ready, leaving me to help Bill as best I could.

  When I found him in the living room, he was sitting in a corner chair, staring at the carpet. I knelt in front of him and waited for his eyes to focus on me.

  “Dawn,” he said softly. “I don’t know what to do.”

  I took his hand in mine, no longer caring about the grease. His eyes looked so much like Mandy’s that I had to look away as I pulled him to his feet.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up, then we’ll figure something out.”

  While Bill washed his arms up to the elbow I looked through the cabinets until I found a bottle of spiced rum. Remembering that Bill didn’t like it straight, I rummaged around in the refrigerator until I found some pineapple juice and poured him a drink. After pulling up a chair beside him, I poured myself one to match.

  “She was my responsibility,” he said, his voice still soft. “She was staying in my house.”

  I put my hand on his arm and Bill lowered his head. Heavy tears fell onto my hand and my throat felt tight. I wanted to say how he couldn’t have known something would happen. I wanted to tell him that everything would be all right somehow. Not because I believed it, but because that was what he needed to hear. Only I couldn’t speak. Instead I pulled my chair closer, wrapped my arms around him and cried.

  After several minutes I pulled away and wiped my eyes before downing half my drink.

  “Bill, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, losing both of them like this.”

  He looked confused and I knew instantly I had made a mistake. “Both of them? What are you talking about?”

  “You mean she didn’t tell you?”

  I couldn’t believe that Jamie and I were the only ones to know about Mandy’s pregnancy! I thought that surely living in the same house with her brother she would have shared the news with him. She must have been waiting for David to come to town so they could tell her family together. Well, no sense holding back now.

  “She was pregnant.”

  Bill looked like I had hit him instead of spoken to him. “My sister was pregnant?” he gasped. “How far along was she?”

  I couldn’t bear the pain in his voice. It took all I could do to answer, “Three months. I think she wanted to tell you once David was here. She told me and Jamie when she asked for our help with the wedding.”

  He nodded. “That makes sense. All of the signs were there. She was sick sometimes for no reason, slept late when she never did before.” He finished his drink in one gulp and pushed the glass toward me. I took that as my cue for a refill. “Shit. What am I going to say to David? Till now all I could think was what would I tell Dad … But what do you say to a man who just lost his whole family?”

  I would never know the answer to that question because I stepped outside to give Bill some privacy to call both David and his father. The coroner had already gone by the time I sat down on the front porch steps. Cops were filing out in twos and threes. Darrell walked over and sat on the step below me.

  “How is he holding up?” he asked, gesturing toward the house.

  “Good, I think, considering the circumstances. He’s calling their dad and her fiancé. I came out here to give him some privacy.” I paused. When Darrell put his hand over mine I started crying again. “Actually, I’m just a coward. He didn’t ask for privacy but I offered it because I couldn’t stand to hear him tell Jonah that his daughter is dead.”

  A few minutes later Bill stepped outside and Darrell and I both jumped at
his sudden appearance. He looked pale and older than he had only a few minutes before.

  “My aunt is going to drive Dad back tonight. David will be here in the morning. I’ll let you all know about the funeral arrangements as soon as we have time to go over everything.”

  I rose to meet him and Bill hugged me tight.

  “Thank you so much for staying, Dawn, but you should go.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I plan to get stinking drunk and pass out in the floor. By the time Dad gets here I should have thrown up enough to be able to talk.”

  Darrell sighed. “Jesus, Bill. Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?”

  Bill gave him a half-hearted smile. “You gonna arrest me if I get drunk and pass out in the yard instead?”

  Darrell shook his head. “No. But you call if you need me.”

  Bill went back inside, mumbling something about needing to find the rum bottle. I turned to Darrell. “I don’t want to leave him like this.”

  He shrugged. “Me neither. But what choice do we have? He is a grown man, and he’s not under any suspicion. He’s free to do what he wants.”

  “Yeah, but staying in the house where his sister was just murdered? Isn’t that a little grim?”

  “I imagine it’ll be a fucking nightmare,” Bill said, emerging with the pineapple juice in one hand and the rum in the other. Apparently he was going to skip the glass this time. He turned up the rum and then chased it with a swig of juice before adding, “That’s why I plan to stay outside.”

  “Call Maggie,” I said, making it more of a request than a demand. “I don’t think you should be alone.”

  Bill sat down at my feet on the top step and took another drink.

  “Eventually,” he said. “But first I’m gonna sit here and get good and drunk and not think about anything for just a little while.”

  When I still hesitated Bill patted my leg and said, “I promise I won’t do anything stupid. I need some time.”

  His words trailed off. I didn’t have any siblings, so I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was going through. I only knew that he was hurting and there was nothing more that I could do. I felt helpless.