The Way of Escape

by Kristen Reed

“Exactly,” Augustus said. “Now, dawn is approaching, so we should get ready for bed. You can shower first, and I’ll join you in bed shortly after I’ve done the same.”

  “Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  Then, Augustus and I exchanged a smile and I went back into my room to get ready for bed, quietly questioning my decision to go along with his plan with every step I took.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  After I finished my shower, I pulled on the most modest nighttime attire I could find and finished my nightly bathroom routine. Once I was decent, I opened the door and stepped back into Augustus’ room. In the years before I became a Christian, I had done a lot more than simply share a bed with a man. I had stolen every base, made quite a few home runs, and hit one or two balls out of the park, but I still felt incredibly exposed in that moment. I smoothed down my shirt with trembling hands, and I wondered if my nerves were inspired by the fact that I was purposely facing a temptation that I wasn’t sure I could withstand, doing something I swore I’d never do again, or getting cozy with a vampire.

  I can’t decide what’s scarier … Sharing a bed with someone who might stir up old urges or someone who drinks blood for sustenance.

  As Augustus looked up from the book he was reading and rose from his desk, I realized that my anxiety came from something else. Yes, the vampire who stood before me was more attractive than any man I’d ever been with, but I didn’t want to sleep with him. I had firm, unshakable standards for what I wanted in a man — a husband to be exact — and he fell so laughably short of my requirements that I couldn’t see myself being truly tempted by him.

  Augustus being a vampire didn’t even bother me as much as it originally had. Facing my own bloodthirsty nature somehow made him less frightening even though our motives and views were drastically different. Fangs aside, he was no better or worse than a crooked politician or a mob boss. While, I didn’t fully trust his moral compass, Augustus didn’t make my skin crawl like Emmanuel did.

  What truly made my heart race and palms perspire was the fear that sleeping in such an intimate position would bring to mind memories that I sometimes hated myself for even having. I didn’t want lying beside Augustus to remind me of the nights I’d guilt tripped one night stands into sleeping over or relaxed in the arms of men who I thought I could trust with my heart. Spending the night in bed with Augustus could bring all of that back to mind with a vengeance. At best, sadness and shame would rear their ugly heads. At worst, I’d miss and crave the seemingly simpler days when I was too ignorant to know that physical pleasure in the wrong context could bring immeasurable emotional pain and displease God.

  “Is something wrong, Clara,” he asked.

  “I’m fine … I was just thinking.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Go ahead and take your shower.”

  Augustus held my gaze for a moment before grabbing the charcoal hued pajamas he’d placed on his bed and walking into the bathroom. While he showered, I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes as I tried to chase away the haunting memories that threatened to resurface. I struggled to shut my brain off for several fruitless minutes before realizing that I needed to face and acknowledge my past instead of avoiding it.

  I’d messed up too many times to count in my previous relationships, and those mistakes opened me up to temptations and regrets that I could have avoided if I’d been wiser. On the flip side, even wise, obedient women had struggles to deal with. Whether my past was full of sexual missteps and codependence or pride and self-righteousness, the result was still the same. I needed forgiveness and healing. Fortunately, God had already given me both through Jesus. Nothing could change that no matter how I might screw up … and I still wasn’t completely convinced that I wouldn’t wind up regretting our sleeping arrangements.

  As I waited for my newfound ally to emerge from the bathroom, I tried to quiet my anxious mind by reviewing a few memory verses in my head. Eventually, Augustus finished getting ready and turned off the lights when he stepped into the bedroom. The vampire joined me under the covers, but he kept his distance as he broke the deafening silence.

  “Is it alright if I put my arms around you,” he asked.

  “Why?”

  “Our scents will mingle better if there’s prolonged physical contact.”

  “That’s fine,” I muttered. “Go ahead.”

  Augustus must have detected the hint of hesitancy in my voice because he let a moment of stillness pass before he moved over and enveloped me in his arms. Because of his nocturnal nature, I’d expected his entire body to be cold, but only his hands were chilly. Feeling his cool hands versus his warm body reminded me of my mother of all people. Before her cancer diagnosis, she’d had a whole host of health issues … anemia and poor circulation being two of them. Every time she hugged or touched me, I teased her about her cold hands and she’d joke that people with cold hands had the warmest hearts.

  While I knew Augustus wasn’t exactly warm-hearted, that pleasant yet unlikely reminder of my mom distracted me from my racing thoughts and calmed me enough that I was able to slip into a peaceful day of uninterrupted sleep.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  CHAPTER 3

  When I opened my eyes the next afternoon after a surprisingly peaceful morning of sleep, I realized that I had rolled over during the night because Augustus was the first thing I laid eyes on. While the vampire didn’t necessarily look threatening or inhuman when he was awake, the awareness and intelligence in his deep-set green eyes made him seem decades older than he appeared. Even before I knew about his nocturnal nature, something about him had made my skin crawl slightly, but that unease had dissipated since our first meeting. Despite the sleeping vampire’s borderline angelic appearance, I knew that he was anything but.

  What do vampires dream about, I wondered. Do they ever imagine themselves basking in the sun like humans and then feel disappointed when they wake up, or do they dream of blood and violence?

  Those thoughts reminded me that I would soon be a member of the sun-fearing race. I wasn’t exactly an outdoorsy girl, but I did enjoy feeling the sun on my face and sitting outside on my balcony back home or in the picnic area attached to my church while I read a book or studied the Bible. In less than a week, my days of reading by sunlight would be over. I’d also have to change careers since every accounting job I knew of involved dragging myself in around nine o’clock, leaving by six o’clock, and usually working in buildings illuminated by perilous amounts of natural lighting.

  My life is going to change drastically.

  As I contemplated the adjustments I’d have to make, Augustus awakened as well. When he opened his eyes, the innocence I’d seen as he slept faded away to his usual demeanor and only a glimmer of softness remained.

  “How did you sleep?”

  “Fine,” I replied. “How about you?”

  “Very well,” Augustus answered. “I probably should have warned you that vampires don’t tend to move in their sleep. I hope you weren’t uncomfortable.”

  “I slept fine. It’s not like I haven’t been spooned before.”

  Augustus smiled at my answer as I sat up, prompting him to do the same.

  “You seem awfully contemplative for someone who just woke up,” he observed. “What is on your mind this early?”

  “Everything about my life will be different after I become a vampire,” I replied. “I’m going to have to find a new job, stop going to daytime church services, and find somewhere new to live before people start noticing that I’m not aging. Since my church streams all of its sermons online and has a few evening services, that snag is manageable, but I don’t know how I’ll find a new job as quickly as I’ll need to.”

  “That’s what The Vampire League is for. Once we’re off this island, I can help you begin your life by personally setting you up with everything you need as a new vampire.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. You’re helping me accomplis
h a major victory, so it’s the least that I can do. As far as relocating, I will be able to help with that as well. We have very talented employees who can forge identification, credentials, references, and everything vampires need to seamlessly change their identities in this exhaustingly connected day and age.”

  “That’s impressive.”

  “As the times change, so do the league’s duties. The best way for us to protect our kind is to make sure no one knows that we exist.”

  “Since you haven’t been exposed yet, does that mean vampires don’t attack humans regularly?”

  “That depends on your definition of attack,” Augustus began. “Some vampires get their blood from a few choice humans and others drink from strangers. Every now and then, a vampire gets carried away during a feeding and calls in The Vampire League’s cleaning crew to help cover his tracks. Most vampires have the self-control necessary to feed without killing and to ensure that no one discovers their nature. That usually means altering someone’s memories.”

  “What about bite marks?”

  “A vampire’s bite heals immediately after feeding if the person bitten is still alive. Otherwise, vampires try to make the death look like something other than a vampire feeding.”

  “Is that what The Vampire League does when someone calls in?”

  “That’s not our preferred method. Forensic science has made a staggering amount of progress in the last century. Therefore, it’s safer to simply destroy the body,” he answered. “We’ve done some DNA testing on our own kind and found that there are enough genetic differences between humans and vampires to cause some alarm if someone working in forensics found a vampire’s DNA on a victim. Our preferred method of disposal is cremation.”

  My stomach turned at the thought of The Vampire League swooping in and making dead bodies disappear. I quickly reminded myself that the bodies were just that — bodies. While the victims’ souls had gone to their eternal destinations and their bodies were nothing more than decaying husks, my heart still ached for their loved ones. Not having closure could no doubt make the grieving process more difficult than it normally would have been.

  “So these people basically wind up being missing persons,” I inferred.

  “Yes, but the cleaning crew sometimes leaves behind enough evidence for the authorities to deduce that the victim has been killed and not just kidnapped.”

  I didn’t want to ask what kind of evidence they left behind, so I opted for a less nausea-inducing topic.

  “Have any vampires ever been arrested?”

  “They have been questioned but never arrested. Being able to manipulate others definitely has its advantages.”

  “I bet,” I said, crossing my arms.

  “You don’t approve of our methods, do you?”

  “No, but I get why you have them. You want to protect yourselves.”

  “Our actions protect humans as well. Could you imagine the unrest and paranoia that would occur if vampires were exposed? There would be men and women with torches and stakes accusing every Wiccan, goth, cosplayer, and outcast of being a vampire and they would kill more of their own kind than ours,” Augustus pointed out. “Of all the witch hunts I’ve seen in my years, only two true magic practitioners were killed. The rest were simply peculiar or delusional albeit common humans.”

  I nodded in acknowledgment, but I still couldn’t completely wrap my head around the league’s practices.

  “Are you having second thoughts, Clara?”

  “No, this is just a grim topic to start the day with.”

  “I’m sure it is,” he said with a sympathetic smile. “Let’s discuss a slightly less weighty subject.”

  “Like?”

  “How we are going to behave with Emmanuel and the others tonight,” Augustus answered. “Although dinner is too formal for us to have any physical contact that wouldn’t seem forced, I may hold your hand under the table. It’s a gesture small enough to be believable considering your conservative nature, but they would hear the brush of my hand against yours and notice when you don’t pull away like you did last night.”

  My pulse temporarily quickened at the thought of holding his hand. Despite my regrettable amount of sexual experience and our questionable sleeping arrangements the previous night, hand holding still seemed incredibly intimate. The fact that Augustus wasn’t the kind of man I should be holding hands or doing anything with didn’t help either.

  “That makes sense,” I said.

  “I’m sure there will be some sort of gathering again tonight since you were offended by last night’s festivities, so don’t be surprised if I put my arm around you, place my hand on the small of your back, or make a similar gesture,” he continued. “I hope spending the night together has made you more comfortable with my touch.”

  “Do you think anyone will ask if anything happened between us last night?”

  “If they do, I will field any questions they throw our way. I will say that I comforted you after Lazzaro’s performance and nothing more. As a gentleman, I will omit the fact that we shared a kiss, but your blushing reaction will say more than my words ever could.”

  “I think I’m a little too dark to blush,” I half-joked.

  “Your cheeks might not redden, but your hastened pulse and quickened breathing at the memory of our kiss will give everything away,” Augustus explained. “And since you can’t control your biological responses the same way vampires can, there needs to be some truth to our story to inspire that reaction.”

  A frown crossed my lips as I grasped the meaning of his last statement. While I hadn’t felt particularly tempted by spending the night with Augustus, a kiss would be a lot more troubling and tantalizing than purposefully cuddling in our sleep. I knew from personal experience that a kiss, no matter how calculated it was, could awaken desires that I had no intention of fulfilling.

  The last time I went on a date with someone, I came dangerously close to doing something I’d regret because what we intended to be an innocent goodnight kiss turned into something much more passionate. A slip up with a Christian was one thing because both of us shared a standard for purity that kept us from going past the point of no return. However, Augustus didn’t have the same values that I did. If my unchecked lust got the best of me again, he probably wouldn’t slam on the brakes like my date, Jonathan, had.

  “No. That’s not a good idea.”

  “You’re scared,” Augustus realized.

  “I just don’t want this kiss to lead to something I’ll feel guilty about later.”

  “Do you remember when I told Emmanuel that living in the outside world has forced me to have self-control?”

  “Yes.”

  “That restraint goes beyond managing my thirst for blood. I won’t let our kiss turn into anything more than a kiss.”

  “Even if it seems like I want it to?”

  “If that’s your wish, but you may regret it later. After all, I am an excellent kisser.”

  “I need your word that you won’t let this go any further,” I reiterated, feeling less than comforted by his playful comment.

  “You have my word.”

  I scrutinized Augustus for a long, contemplative moment before I finally climbed out of the bed.

  “Where are you going?”

  “We’re not going to kiss while we’re sitting in bed. That’s just asking for more trouble,” I insisted.

  Augustus rose from the bed, and I crossed my arms as he walked in my direction.

  “Just relax, Clara. If you can trust me to turn you into a vampire, you can trust me to kiss you once.”

  “This isn’t about trusting you. I’ve just set boundaries for myself in terms of how I interact with men, and I’m not crazy about crossing those boundaries for any reason,” I clarified. “Kissing you now seems like it’s for a good reason, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to relish in breaking the promise I made to myself.”

  “Whether we kiss now or at the eclipse festivities, you and
I will have to do so eventually to convince the others that there’s something between us. This small, private moment will do wonders for furthering our cause and saving the lives of the men and women on this island.”

  “I know,” I breathed, tapping my fingers on my upper arm. “I just wish there was another way.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help ease your conscience?”

  “No. Let’s just get this over with.”

  I uncrossed my arms, closed my eyes, and waited to feel his lips on mine, but that feeling never came. Instead, Augustus gently caressed my cheek with his chilly hand, prompting me to open my eyes and gaze into his. Even though I’d seen some gentleness in him before, the amount of warmth I saw in that moment shocked the fear out of me long enough for Augustus to observe my changed disposition and close the remaining distance between us.

  When his lips touched mine, the last of the tension left my body. For that moment, I let myself forget who and what he was. I simply enjoyed the secure sensation of his arms as they wrapped around me, and the surprisingly tender kiss remained comfortably chaste. The fact that my body didn’t respond with the same escalating passion and arousal as it had when I went out with Jonathan allowed me to savor the embrace way more than I should have without worry and fear invading my mind again.

  Augustus eventually ended the kiss and I was both disappointed and relieved. While I hadn’t wanted the embrace to change into something more intimate, I hadn’t wanted it to end either. I would have been perfectly content kissing the vampire until someone or something interrupted us, but that desire made me raise my guard again. Even though I had only enjoyed the physical part of our kiss and I wasn’t interested in Augustus, I was still playing with fire. I’d gone down that road many times in the past, and I didn’t want to be like the dog that kept returning to his own vomit despite learning that God had something much sweeter planned for me than kissing an unnervingly attractive vampire … or anyone for that matter.

  Keeping that in mind, I took a deep breath to steady myself and looked him in the eye as I spoke.