The Way of Escape

by Kristen Reed

  “Doing me a favor doesn’t erase the fact that you’re still oppressing dozens of people.”

  “That’s fair,” he conceded. “As for the capacity to love, it’s overrated. When you love someone, you expose your weaknesses and give your enemies the chance to control and distract you through your beloved. In the world we live in, those weaknesses can cost you your life.”

  “But love is the only thing that makes life bearable whether it’s platonic or otherwise,” I argued. “Also, what’s the harm in loving the vampires you’ve sired? Isn’t it true that vampires can’t hurt or kill their makers?”

  “They can’t do anything to physically harm their makers, but there are always loopholes. I’m not willing to take that risk and jeopardize the life I’ve built for myself.”

  “You mean you’re scared?”

  “No, I’m just wise.”

  “Wisdom comes from fearing God, not from protecting your own selfish interests.”

  “If you really believe that, why are you protecting your selfish interests by becoming a vampire?”

  “Because I can have more influence on the situation as a vampire than as a slave. No one would see me as anything more than a piece of meat if I stayed a dhampir, so no one would listen to me even if I had the courage to speak up.”

  “You’re very lucky that I find your piety compelling instead of aggravating,” Emmanuel chuckled softly as the song ended and we stopped dancing. “Do you want to know something interesting?”

  “Sure.”

  “I was going to keep you as my personal slave until I learned that you were a dhampir. While I’m disappointed that you’ve taken such a shining to Augustus over me, I hope that you’ll grow to appreciate me in the days to come. I’d love for us to actually take pleasure in one another’s company since we will be living under the same roof.”

  Don’t hold your breath, I thought as the vexatious vampire ended our dance with a wink and sat down with his slave. However, Augustus rose from the couch before I could take my seat again.

  “I could use a drink,” he said. “Care to join me?”

  “Sure.”

  As Augustus and I left the room, he cast a baleful look in Emmanuel’s direction. The coven leader simply grinned in return before biting his slave’s neck. Despite my increasing familiarity with vampires feeding, I was still tremendously grateful for Augustus’ well-timed thirst.

  The two of us fled to the ballroom, which the slaves had already partially furnished for the eclipse festivities. Tables with crisp white tablecloths and candelabras lined the longest wall and tall, glass-topped cocktail tables littered the area around the dance floor. Augustus and I walked to the wet bar and he immediately began making himself a drink.

  “Would you like one as well?”

  “What is it?”

  “A sidecar.”

  “No thanks. I’ll just have water.”

  Within moments, I had a glass in my hand and Augustus had one in his. After taking a long sip of the refreshing drink, I noticed that my companion was spending more time watching me than enjoying his beverage.

  “You didn’t just come here to have a drink, did you?”

  “No, I didn’t. I wanted to speak with you about something in private.”

  “Should I be sitting for this,” I kidded halfheartedly.

  “Don’t worry. The subject isn’t that grave,” he said, coming from behind the bar to stand beside me again. “Or at least it shouldn’t be.”

  “What’s going on, Augustus?”

  “As I said earlier, you will feel the bond between us immediately after you awaken as a vampire. Though you may find the connection overwhelming at first, it will become more manageable in the days and weeks ahead,” Augustus reiterated. “Many vampires want to make love with their makers after awakening if they are of the desired gender, but because of the convictions you’ve shared with me, I won’t cross that boundary with you no matter what you say or do in light of your new devotion.”

  “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

  I sincerely hoped that I wouldn’t turn into some embarrassingly desperate woman after my change, but I was thankful that Augustus wouldn’t let my undead arousal get the best of me. However, suspicion overshadowed my gratitude since he still hadn’t gotten to the point.

  “Newborn vampires also tend to have a difficult time distinguishing any existing feelings from their new affection if they didn’t fully explore or at least acknowledge it before being turned,” he continued. “I brought you here tonight because I didn’t want there to be any question in your mind that something existed between us before your change.”

  I tapped my fingers on the wet bar’s counter and bit my bottom lip as I mulled over what Augustus had said.

  “That’s not necessary,” I argued. “If I’m still myself after you change me and my hormones or whatever calm down like you say they will, what I do or don’t feel won’t matter because you still won’t be a Christian.”

  “I understand, but while your beliefs are unwavering, mine aren’t so steadfast,” he reminded me. “You have given me a lot to ponder these past several days. If you are still the same woman that you are now and you don’t surrender to the darkness as many vampires have, I will have to reevaluate some of my beliefs and look more intently into yours.”

  While Augustus exploring Christianity because of my impending vampirism was great for his sake, that still wasn’t enough for me to let our current relationship become more than platonic. After all, there was no guarantee that he would actually become a Christian. Plus, as he had pointed out before and as I’d experienced many times, a lot of people professed a belief in God and Christ, but they didn’t let that belief be the driving force in their lives. As difficult as it was for someone in their twenties to change their ways after becoming a Christian, I could only imagine how long it would take a vampire his age to turn from his sinful patterns and develop a healthy walk with Christ. Even though I believed that God could change someone’s heart in an instant thanks to the reading I’d done about the Paul’s conversion, I didn’t know how fast or thorough Augustus’ spiritual transformation might be … or if it would happen at all.

  Maybe I should’ve said no to grabbing a drink.

  “That all depends on me still being myself after I become a vampire and you doing a lot more than just changing your mind about what you believe in. Those are two colossal bridges that need to be crossed and we haven’t even reached them yet.”

  “Yes, but my goal is for you not to doubt your desires when and if you realize that they are worth pursuing,” he clarified.

  “How so?”

  “How do you think?”

  Augustus punctuated his rhetorical question with a kiss. For a moment, I was too shocked to react to his surprising gesture, but when I came to my senses, I still wasn’t completely ready to end the embrace. Despite the many reasons I had not to kiss Augustus, I let my guard down and gave in to my desire for the comfort and affection that I’d been deprived of the past several days.

  When I didn’t push him away, Augustus pulled me into his arms and deepened the kiss, which I returned with fondness that had been nonexistent during our first one. Through that kiss, I expressed my unanticipated admiration for the tenderness and protectiveness he’d shown me as well as his desire to help defenseless men and women he had no reason to care about. I also let myself indulge in his full soft lips, clean masculine scent, and silky auburn hair, which was as soft as I’d imagined.

  Our second kiss was more refreshing than walking outside, feeling the sun on my face, and breathing in fresh air after ten arduous hours in a stuffy office building. A comforting warmth spread through every inch of my body and left me feeling rejuvenated, at ease, and safe. Past embraces usually felt like a passionate, frantic race to the finish line, but this one felt more like a slow, scenic, circular stroll with no clear destination in mind. I’d never had a kiss like that before.

  The embrace ended
without either of us pushing to take things further or letting our hands and lips wander, but my racing pulse thundered in my ears when I finally laid eyes on Augustus again. While I had enjoyed the kiss and would have been quite content staying in that spot with his lips on mine for the rest of the night, I knew that would have been a catastrophically bad idea … just like letting him kiss me to begin with. Just because something felt good didn’t mean that it wasn’t dangerous, and letting myself indulge in Augustus’ charms instead of seeking solace and comfort from God was definitely perilous.

  Kissing the fiery-haired vampire before I knew much of anything about him had been one thing. However, sharing that embrace after a few very intense, emotional days and nights forced me to face so much more than simple physical attraction. If it weren’t for the little sense and self-control I had and his unexpected respect for my convictions, I would have been in a lot of trouble. Instead, I was just in a little trouble … and I still needed to avoid that trouble no matter how small it seemed. I needed to run away from the temptation I was facing and toward God instead of staying by his side as I had been. I couldn’t just continue the night like nothing had happened and keep flirting with a line that I didn’t want to cross.

  “I need some time alone,” I said, cringing inwardly at how my voice trembled, “and I’m going to sleep in my own bed tonight. I never should have slept with you to begin with, but better late than never.”

  “If you insist.”

  When I started to walk away, he delayed my departure by taking my hand in his.

  “Will you be up to continuing our act tomorrow?”

  “It’s not really an act at this point, so I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

  Augustus smiled and brought my quaking hand to his lips for a kiss before placing the key to my room in it.

  “Good night, Clara.”

  I gave the vampire a quick smile and went straight to my room. Walking the halls without Augustus by my side felt strange, but I welcomed the solitude. I needed to put some serious distance between us. Once I was behind closed doors, I reclined on the bed and stared at the ceiling as I thought over the last few days.

  Much like Elizabeth Bennett’s sometimes disagreeable love interest from Pride and Prejudice, I found myself harboring feelings for someone against my better judgment. However, unlike Mr. Darcy, my reasons weren’t worth overlooking. In less than twenty-four hours, I would be forever bound to a man who I had feelings for and that supernatural connection along with my new thirst for blood were going to test my self-control more than any happy hour with my girlfriends or late night movie with a cute guy ever had.

  I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle this, I thought as I watched the ceiling fan’s wooden blades lazily rotate above me. Even if I’m not, I can’t afford not to take this on. The men and women here need me.

  Even as the words came into my mind, I knew that I was wrong. They didn’t need me, they needed God … and I did too. Whenever I tried to do things on my own, I became so emotionally exhausted and taxed that I questioned why I ever stepped outside of my comfort zone to begin with. When I stopped trying to do it all by myself and turned to God for strength and guidance, my troubles seemed more manageable even if they were still difficult.

  The five nights I’d spent on Emmanuel’s island had been some of the most challenging ones of my life, yet I had barely looked to God during that time. Despite all of my praying, I’d only cracked open Augustus’ ebook version of the Bible a few times even though it was right in front of me. I’d spent most of the week having one-sided conversations with the only one who could help me. I needed to shut up and let God do the talking for once.

  Time to fix that.

  I sat up and walked over to the desk where I’d left the vampire’s ebook reader charging. After sitting down, I immediately turned on the device and opened the Bible. Part of me felt guilty for even attempting to read God’s word while a head-spinning kiss from an agnostic vampire clouded my mind, but I shook that guilt from my mind. No matter what I had done that night, coming to God for clarity and refreshment was the exact right thing to do. If my remorse was driving me away from God instead of toward him, it wasn’t worth entertaining.

  As I tried to shake off my shame, I remembered Leah of all people telling me that in case of an emergency, turn to 9-1-1 … also known as Psalm 91:1. While I wasn’t on the verge of a nervous breakdown or gleefully running full speed ahead into temptation, I took my troubled friend’s sage advice.

  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

  will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

  I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

  my God, in whom I trust.”

  For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler

  and from the deadly pestilence.

  He will cover you with his pinions,

  and under his wings you will find refuge;

  his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

  You will not fear the terror of the night,

  nor the arrow that flies by day,

  nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

  nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

  A thousand may fall at your side,

  ten thousand at your right hand,

  but it will not come near you.

  You will only look with your eyes

  and see the recompense of the wicked.

  Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place —

  the Most High, who is my refuge —

  no evil shall be allowed to befall you,

  no plague come near your tent.

  For he will command his angels concerning you

  to guard you in all your ways.

  On their hands they will bear you up,

  lest you strike your foot against a stone.

  You will tread on the lion and the adder;

  the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

  “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;

  I will protect him, because he knows my name.

  When he calls to me, I will answer him;

  I will be with him in trouble;

  I will rescue him and honor him.

  With long life I will satisfy him

  and show him my salvation.” (Psalm 91)

  Thank you, Leah, I thought, praying for my friend as I reached the end of the chapter. The psalm had been a timely reminder that I needed to hold fast to God and seek refuge in him. He could deliver me from any situation whether it was physically or emotionally daunting.

  The verse about not fearing the “terror of night” was especially poignant since terrifying nocturnal creatures surrounded me and I was about to become one. I needed to trust God enough not only to protect me from the vampires in my midst but also from my own dark urges. Between my physical attraction to Augustus, my impending supernatural bondage to him, and my future thirst for blood, I definitely had my fair share to contend with.

  But I can face them if I don’t try to deal with them by my own strength.

  With my renewed resolve, I decided to turn to 2 Samuel. While I wasn’t sure if Psalm 91 had been written by King David like many of the ones I’d come to love, I felt led to read about the Old Testament king who had been near and dear to God’s heart despite committing some egregious sins. If someone who slept with another man’s wife and had that man killed could still be enviously close to God and be considered a man of great faith, surely I could do the same despite my own current and future mistakes. After all, if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that I was going to make plenty of them whether I had fangs or not.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  As I finished reading 2 Samuel, I heard the shower running and realized how long I’d been glued to the glowing paper white screen. I glanced at the tiny clock in the top right corner and saw that it was six thirty … which meant that it was almost sunrise. While I’d never been
a wake with the sun kind of girl, that sunrise would be the last one I’d ever get to watch without fear of getting a nasty fatal sunburn, so I decided to venture outside and watch the sun come up.

  I crept up to the terrace where I’d hung out with Augustus two nights before, sat down on one of the loungers, and put my feet up as I watched the sky lighten in the east. The deep sapphire late night sky gave way to a lighter cornflower blue while the clouds blazed from a drab gray hue to rosy pink and radiant gold. Little by little, the sun climbed over the horizon and chased away the darkness that I would soon dwell in with golden white rays that peeked out over the water and glanced off the sea’s calm surface.

  A grin spread across my lips and my heart warmed as I enjoyed one of life’s most simple yet beautiful sights for the last time and a verse from that night’s reading came to mind.

  For you are my lamp, O Lord,

  and my God lightens my darkness. (2 Samuel 22:29)

  When the sun was finally in full view, I rose from the lounger, stretched my languid limbs, and went back inside to enjoy my last human slumber.

  While I’d soon call the night my home, there was still one source of radiance in my life that no one could ever take away. God had already brought light to the darkest parts of my soul, and I had no doubt that he would give me the strength to endure the coming nights. He would make my paths straight and guide me if I trusted in and leaned on him no matter how long and hard the road ahead was.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  CHAPTER 6

  The sound of someone knocking roused me from my peaceful sleep. When I rolled out of bed and opened the door expecting to see Augustus and found the darkened bathroom instead, I realized that my visitor was knocking on a different door. Thankfully, I found Amber, a slave I’d recently met, waiting for me when I answered the correct one.

  “Hi, Clara. Emmanuel sent me to deliver your breakfast and to help you get ready for the party today. Is now a good time?”

  “It’s kind of early, isn’t it?”

  “It’s almost one o’clock,” she pointed out. “The party starts at two o’clock.”