by Leanne Davis
She dressed in the bathroom and finished the minimal makeup she wore when not working, then dried her hair straight. Finally, she came out to answer Luke’s questions. Luke made some coffee from the in-room coffee maker and was drinking it as he flipped through the newspaper. There was a stack of magazines near his elbow.
“Where did you get those?”
He looked up. “The gift shop.”
“When did you get up?”
“Five.”
“I thought I woke up early,” Kelly grumbled because it was now only seven. He made her feel like she’d lounged in bed ’til noon.
“I couldn’t sleep. So is it always this fast?”
She noted the way he glided over the fact he couldn’t sleep.
“Yes, it’s always this fast. They’re like rats that sniff out the first glimpse of a story or any mistake a famous person has made. Do you usually sleep? Or can you just not sleep with me?”
“I don’t sleep much. So what do you do? Do you acknowledge the rumors and try to tell the real story?”
“No, I never respond to the media. I don’t do interviews or release statements. I don’t read those either,” she said, waving at the stack of magazines.
“How can you not? Aren’t you curious? Furious? How can you just ignore lies about you? One of these is speculating if you supplied your mother’s drugs. Another thinks you must be on drugs too to stay so skinny and that’s how your mother got hooked. Another…”
“And another has an even more sensational story. None of which is true,” she said, gently taking the magazine he was holding up out of his hand and dramatically throwing it on the floor. “Don’t get upset, it really isn’t worth your energy.”
“But none of it is true.”
“I know it’s not, and you know it’s not. That’s all that matters. I’m used to it. I know it’s a shock to someone like you, but this is how it is. This is part of being famous, on any level. But the more I say, the more it fans the flames of gossip and the more they print. Trust me, the less I say, the sooner my gossip gets buried and something bigger and even more sensational takes its place.”
“Have you ever searched your name?”
She shuddered and shook her head. “No. I can imagine it would be a nightmare of fantasies though.”
“It is. You’re telling me you’ve never once put your name into the internet to see what’s out there?”
“No, I really haven’t. I’ve got to assume that not only are there naked pictures of me on more than one porn site, but enough gossip and trash to write a five-hundred-page book. So no, I really haven’t.”
“There is.”
“You looked me up? When?”
“Last week.”
“Why?”
“After the spectacle at the wedding, I was curious. You were famous, but I’d never really thought about it beyond when you were here. I mean, celebrity gossip isn’t really my thing. So I was curious.”
“Not a real pretty picture of me that you got, is it?”
“No. I don’t know how you can stand it. It’s all so wrong about you.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t believe it, given how you felt about me.”
“I knew better by then.”
“Now you get to experience it first-hand. I’m sorry. I didn’t really warn you about this part, or how fast and furious it can be.”
“I knew in my head you were this famous. But knowing you as Cassie’s sister, back in my hometown, none of it actually seemed real. It didn’t really seem like you lived this life. But you do. We’re in a bubble, aren’t we? Seaclusion isn’t the real you, or even close to your real life. None of it is real.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t start looking at me differently. I’m real when I’m with you and Cassie. I’m not any of that stuff you read or saw about me. Don’t start second-guessing me now.”
“Why do you keep doing this? You wondered what I was thinking about yesterday when you came out of the shower? This. I was thinking about what you grew up in, about being poor, of what you were willing to do to get out. I get it. I saw it. What I don’t get is why you keep doing this. You’ve got to have enough money by now. So what keeps you in this industry? You don’t seem to like the attention it gets you, you get embarrassed and uncomfortable with the fame, the naked pictures, the strangers taking liberties with you. Then why do you persist in doing it?”
“It’s what I do. It’s all I’ve ever done. It’s all I know how to do. Maybe I hate the attention and part of the lifestyle, but it is my lifestyle.”
“I didn’t expect to be part of it.”
They’d gotten a picture of her and Luke?
“I didn’t expect to be anywhere with you outside of Seaclusion, so I didn’t think there was much chance of our relationship becoming news.”
Luke threw the magazine at her with obvious disgust. She opened it and flipped through until she found it. Under the headlines, “Reeves a Meth Addict” was a picture of Luke holding Kelly in front of her mother’s trailer. The clever headline was an intro into a lengthy description of Kelly and her career before the popular tabloid cleared up that it was Heather Reeves who was the meth addict and not Kelly. Then it went onto describe Kelly’s new man, including recent gossip about her supposed relationship with Brett Carlton, and now Luke. Sketchy details about him were spelled out in the article. About their siblings being married, that he was a widowed schoolteacher in the small town of Seaclusion. And that he was now Kelly’s latest man.
Kelly cringed. She didn’t expect that. Sure, the tabloids and media would have a heyday with her mother, and of course, use snappy headlines about her, but to say she was cheating on a married Brett Carlton with Luke? No, she never counted on that. She raised her eyes to Luke’s burning gaze.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea anyone was there yesterday or that they’d spin it like this.”
“They even got my name right. How the hell did they know who I was?”
“Magic, I think. They seem to know everything.”
“I really didn’t expect my name in the national news. I don’t tell John about my sex life, let alone the goddamned country.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Luke’s jaw was clenched so tight, she was afraid he’d shatter his jawbone. “My in-laws are going to see this. My mother is going to see this, my students. I teach young, impressionable kids, tell me how this is going to come across to their parents?”
Luke wouldn’t like his sex life being magnified for the parents of his beloved wife. It did have a sour ring to it. And trashy that Luke had moved on from his dead wife to sleep with her, a model, who as Luke pointed out, was also featured on porn sites and currently rumored to be dating a married man. Yeah, she sounded real classy. What if this messed up his teaching career? She’d feared just this. He hadn’t understood until seeing this article, the power of her reputation, or that sleeping with her could cause more long-term damage than their short-term affair was worth.
“Will they write any more about me? I swear to God if Shelly or Amelia get dragged out and splashed across these filthy mags, I’ll…”
“I don’t know. I’ll make a statement.”
“What?”
“I’ll make a public statement that my mother died of an overdose, and my sister’s brother-in-law came to help me close out her estate. I’ll stop this before it gets any worse. Hell, I’ll even tell them I am sleeping with Brett, if that will deflect from you.”
He paused and stared at her and as his anger seemed to simmer down. “You said talking to them makes it worse.”
“For me, but it would deflect from you. And your family.”
“I just don’t want…”
“I know. I know what you don’t want.”
“Were you sleeping with Brett?”
“No, I never slept with Brett. If I did, would you think I deserve this?”
“No.”
“I am sorry. This was what I was trying to warn you abo
ut dating me. Hell, just being seen with me could have caused this.”
He took in a breath. He nodded, and laid his hand over hers. “I’m not mad at you. It was a shock to find my picture in a magazine. I mean we’re together barely a week and here we are.”
“Didn’t you used to claim I was ‘like a bomb going off in the house’ when I came to visit?”
“I meant you were loud.”
“Well, you were also right. My life is this. Why don’t you go back to Seaclusion, and I’ll go home to L.A., and try and deflect all this stuff. You’re right. It was barely a week, and you shouldn’t have to pay for sleeping with me with this crap. I never intended for you to get hurt by my life, and I don’t want that for you.”
Luke stared at her. Then he smiled. “This week is more than just sex and a good time. And being with you is worth this gossip. I don’t want you leaving here thinking you’re not. That self-esteem of yours can’t take much more abuse than you already give it. What we’re going to do is forget this, and go back to Seaclusion, and continue with your vacation. And mine, as it turns out.”
“You’re still going to be seen with me?”
He smiled. “I’m not that much of a jerk that I’d leave you stranded here just because I don’t like some pictures being taken. Especially, since you can’t help it that you’re one of the most beautiful women in the world, and I guess others want you to suffer for that, because they’re jealous.”
“I’m not one of the most beautiful women in the world. I just happen to be really photogenic, and really good at selling myself.”
He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him, kissing her. She was so shocked by the gesture, she blushed. Wasn’t he done? Now that things had gotten hard?
“I forgot, I’m not supposed to tell you you’re beautiful, am I? You’re the smartest women in the world then.”
She laughed, feeling surprisingly good for what should have been a horrible day after how it started.
“Back to Seaclusion, huh? Together?”
“Weren’t you staying until the weekend?”
“Yes.”
“Then why should some stupid tabloid change your plans? Then they would win.”
“After this weekend, then what?”
“Then we have to talk, don’t we?”
She nodded, noticing he didn’t make any false promises, or didn’t shy away from her either. She liked that about him. He was honest and kind to her, but never placated her. He didn’t hedge about things that were uncomfortable, which was something big, considering her lifestyle and all the crap that it was causing him.
They left the hotel and made it back to his condo, alone and unspotted. There was a reporter in town asking some questions, but to Kelly’s astonishment, Cassie reported the town shut them out. Especially concerning Luke. He was a local, and no one was going to gossip on Luke, but the town. Cassie accepted Kelly’s decision to leave their mother’s stuff to the landlord in the trailer park and her burial to the funeral home with little comment. Kelly hung up the phone with Cassie. That was that. Her mother’s life had ended, and this was all the regret and remorse for her death that either of her daughters had. Kelly found it so sad, and she vowed she wouldn’t end up like her mother, unloved and alone, with no one left to mourn her passing.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kelly woke up the next morning back in Seaclusion, with Luke. And he was still asleep. She glanced at the clock—it was nearly nine. It was the first time she’d ever witnessed Luke sleeping. He was breathing deep and even, his body sprawled against her. She stayed next to him, feeling his skin against hers, with him at peace. Something he wasn’t very often. They’d been up late, talked, made love, then they got silly for no particular reason and laughed over nothing, at each other, with each other. Finally, they had even found themselves laughing at the tabloid articles. What else was there to do with them?
Kelly slid out of the bed. She went barefoot downstairs and opened the slider to the deck. It was surprisingly warm outside, especially for the morning. It was the beginning of July, and the sun was strong and steady. The sun being out was an anomaly here, in an area that rained hundreds of days every year. Ah, but when the sun was out, there was no place as beautiful, washed clean, clear and sparkling, the air soft and invigorating.
For once, her life was perfect. Life never was like this morning, happy, carefree, well-loved, talked out, laughed out, satisfied with herself, and with the person she’d been with for hours and hours. Oh God, this was not good. It was not good to feel this happy with Luke, and because of Luke.
The hours of the morning slipped by easily, and still Luke slept. They’d stayed up well past three, and it was approaching noon, yet he slept as soundly as she’d left him. It was unprecedented. Finally, she went to the beach. It was too nice not to. The weather was getting warm, eighty degrees, something she’d never witnessed in Washington. The beach was nearly deserted where Luke lived. It was the strangest damn thing to Kelly, to see miles and miles of beaches, sometimes completely empty, even on such a glorious day as today.
She was walking barefoot, letting the loud, frothy tide lap in and out against her ankles. The water was cold, but the day warm enough it didn’t matter. This was normal. She couldn’t help thinking it, feeling it, wanting it. Normal. Here she was alone and not feeling isolated or weird. She could pretend she was at her boyfriend’s house, and spending a pleasant afternoon at the beach. She’d never had a boyfriend. A secret no one knew about her. Like everything else though, this was also fleeting.
Except she wanted it to be real. More than she’d ever wanted anything, even her modeling career. The money was what she’d always thought would get her what she wanted most, security. Turns out, she was all wrong. In all her years in L.A., she never had one day with this much peace, where all was so right in the world. She’d dedicated her entire youth to making money, and living an expensive, glamorous life. Not once did any of that make her feel how she felt at this moment. Looking back at the last ten years, it was trivial, a waste of her time and energy, and even her looks. Wasn’t there more she could do? More that she could be?
Why didn’t she have any friends in L.A.? Why hadn’t she ever had a boyfriend before? Wasn’t it past time? Her mother was dead. Her sister had married and was starting a new life. Wasn’t it time she did, too? She could have a life that wasn’t so superficial, and so lonely. So utterly lonely that sometimes she could suffocate from it. But as it turned out life didn’t have to be that way. There was more. There was this feeling she had right now. This feeling of intimacy and being connected to another person. This feeling of being totally alive, not just existing.
Her name was called. Luke stood at the opening of the trail from his condo to the beach. He had on shorts and a t-shirt, and the sunlight bounced off his blond hair. She smiled so wide, she was sure if a camera lens had been aimed at her, she’d have cracked it. She couldn’t help it—she was that glad to see him. She hoped he couldn’t tell from the distance just how wide her smile was.
She walked, he walked, and they met half way. She wanted to run, and throw her arms around his neck, and have him swing her around, hug her to him, as glad to see her as she was to see him. She wanted to tell him about the epiphany she had at being with him. She wanted to tell him how he made her feel, that he made her want to change her entire life.
But she didn’t. She had to settle for being glad he’d even come to the beach in search of her. She should be glad he’d taken a few days off work to go to Portland with her, and to her delight, was with her today. And it wasn’t like they were some long, lost, lovesick couple. They’d just been together a handful of hours before. Still, she wanted a cheesy, run to you, can’t live without you, oh my God, kind of moment. She was wanting things, numerous things, she’d never wanted before in her entire life.
“You slept.”
“I did.”
They stared at each other.
“How come? How come
you slept?”
“I think the new and improved Kelly Reeves finally wore me out,” he said, teasing her. She had to admit, she was getting better and better as a lover. But that’s not what she wanted to do for him.
“Why don’t you usually sleep?”
He shrugged. “It started when Shelly died. I can’t seem to relax. At first it was tough to function, but I guess I’ve gotten used to it.”
“And today? How do you feel?”
“Fantastic,” he said, grinning, because they’d spent the night together. But it was more than that. Maybe she’d given him some peace and comfort, as much as he’d given her. Maybe she was the reason he’d finally slept. It meant something, she was sure. She was also sure he wouldn’t admit it to her. He finally wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against his body, nuzzling her neck. “By the way, you look fantastic this morning.”
“Afternoon, Luke, it’s afternoon. You slept for almost ten hours.”
“Okay, you look fantastic this afternoon.”
She sighed. Didn’t he get how big a deal it was that he’d slept ten hours? What a huge step it was for him?
He took her sigh to mean something else. “I forgot I’m not supposed to compliment you, am I? But have you seen yourself in this bikini?”
“Yeah? Well, take a picture then.” She jerked away from him. Her head was previously up in the clouds, thinking she’d had a profound effect on Luke, that somehow she was responsible for making Luke feel more than just sexually satisfied. She was thinking that she’d given a man who lacked any kind of peace or softness in this world, just that. She was dreaming about a boyfriend, and caring, along with unmentionable things, like being glad to see each other.
And what was Luke glad about? That she was wearing a stupid bikini.
