Unorthodox Dom: (New Adult BDSM Romance) (The Unorthodox Trilogy)

by Lilah E. Noir

  Kat leaned forward to whisper to me, and I could see the sparkle of the fireworks behind her shoulder.

  “You can help her quit smoking.”

  THE END

  Thomas and Kat’s story finishes at that point and they go their separate ways to find happiness. However, Thomas’ journey is just beginning. If you enjoyed Unorthodox Dom and you’re curious what’s next for him I invite you to take a sneak peek at Chapter 1 of Unorthodox Therapy. That’s Book 1 of the Unorthodox Trilogy that follows Thomas, his growth as a Dominant and his complicated relationship with his boss, Lina Riley.

  As for Kat… well, let me know in your review if you’d be interested to read a story of her own. She was a lot of fun to write about so I’d be tempted to trace her path. I’d really appreciate if you take the time to leave me a review and let me know if you liked my book. Thank you.

  UNORTHODOX THERAPY

  Chapter 1

  LINA

  The drumming of the raindrops on the windowpane was in perfect synchronicity with the dull pounding at my temples. Gradually, the sensation would spread through my entire skull. By lunchtime, what had started as an unpleasant pulsation would transform into an acute stab right at the center of my heated brain. At that rate, any small detail, sound or smell I'd never paid attention to before would irritate me. It would take all my willpower not to blow even the smallest problem out of proportion or vent my frustration at the first person nearby.

  Like that very moment – that tease, Katie, my personal assistant. How dared she breathe so loudly? What about those damned high heels she had bought? They made such an obnoxious noise, not to mention the racket she made typing those e-mails and reports when I’d entered the office earlier. Don't even get me started on her perfume. I swore the little wench had bought something with the fragrance of nicotine just to torture me.

  I realized I was being ridiculous but it didn't help me feel even remotely better. The poor girl must have felt my tension in the morning when I hissed something mean in response to her cheerful, “Good morning”. Or perhaps it was due to the vein in my neck throbbing every time I was agitated? Or because I was squeezing my fists? I really needed to work on controlling my body language before the big presentation that day. How the hell could I face clients when everyone would see I was a mess?

  Playing charades was part of my job, and over the years, I had become an expert. Except for moments like this.

  She smiled in sympathy, which pissed me off even more, and I dragged my manicured nails across my sweaty palms. Her kind, brown eyes scanned me up and down and increased my frustration. I'd been working with Katie for two years after going through several other PA’s. She was the second best I'd ever had. There was no doubt she was professional and reliable, but damn it, I hated being treated with kid gloves by my employees.

  Perhaps it was some pseudo-feminist cliché but I was not weak and I didn't need anyone's pity.

  “You know, Lina, it's none of my business, but...”

  I cut her off with my best Ice Queen voice. Well, it could have been Ice Queen if my anger hadn't been bubbling beneath the surface, obvious even to a four-year-old.

  “Damn right it's not, Katie.” I knew I'd reached my lowest point when I vented my frustration out at my PA for something she had absolutely no fault in. The demon of abstinence was taking over my body. “I don't give two fucks what kind of miraculous smoking addicts’ therapy your boyfriend's best friend's neighbor has come up with. So how about you stick to your duties and keep your curious nose out of my business?”

  Katie didn’t even flinch. She just looked at me with a raised eyebrow and leaned forward in her chair.

  “I was merely going to suggest that we use Conference Room B on the second floor for the afternoon meeting. The light is better, there's more space, and the view is soothing, which makes people easier to persuade.”

  Damn, I was a bitch at times. I pressed a clenched fist to my burning temple and tried to breathe more easily. It was crucial to focus. If I nailed a contract with this new client, it would shoot my company up to a whole new level. Get your shit together, Riley.

  I resisted the urge to dig my fingers into my hair to try to calm down. Instead, I let my hand slide down to my hip. Katie kept staring at me with a worried expression. Her fingers were frozen at the keyboard as if she was a classic pianist interrupted by an aggressive audience member.

  “I'm sorry, Katie.” She blinked a few times in disbelief. Yes, hearing me apologize was as rare as spotting a four-leaf clover, but I had my moments. Judging by the look on her face Katie wished she could record it. “I'll consider your suggestion. Right now, I must take a last look at the updated overview of the marketing strategy they have so far. I’ve got my bases covered but there may be some last detail I haven’t considered.”

  “It will be fine, Lina. You'll enchant them.” My PA must have felt a sudden rush of confidence, and took advantage of the momentary crack in my armor. “Just be your usual self and don't overthink it. Do you want some chamomile tea? It usually helps you when...” She trailed off and smiled nervously.

  Her job description didn’t include making beverages for me. I made it clear on her first day of work that I wouldn’t expect it. Years before, when I’d been working my first internships, I’d loathed being used only to make coffee and keep the room pretty. So I swore I’d never treat any of my employees in such a way, but Katie insisted it wasn’t a problem for her to prepare drinks for both of us. She was eight years younger than me, but I often ended up feeling like her rebellious daughter. Go figure.

  I straightened my pencil skirt and sank my nails into my thigh. The mild pain distracted me for a moment so I wouldn't burst out in indignation at her attempt to mother me. Indulging in wrath and acting like a wench to get some tension out of my system wouldn’t help me restore my balance.

  Sometimes I missed the good old days when I would quietly write code and develop projects for someone else to stress over.

  “Yes, yes, sure, but use honey instead. I'm jumpy enough without the sugar rush. Hold all my calls for the next hour.”

  For a moment, I was sure Katie was about to say something more. However, she just nodded, got up from her desk and entered the kitchen area of my office. It was one of the small luxuries I was entitled to as CEO, as well as an executive bathroom and a large wardrobe for my spare suits. Over the past few years, the place had become my second home and I needed it to be as comfortable as possible.

  I turned away from her desk and entered my own safe haven. The moment the heavy door closed behind me, I felt a temporary relief. I could be friendly, personable and confident, but only with the prerequisite of personal space. Some would say the soundproof walls were a bit excessive, but the sweet isolation from the world and its noise was one of few things keeping my sanity intact.

  Nothing seemed to comfort me today, though. Twenty minutes later, I was still on the verge of an emotional meltdown. The cup of tea Katie had brought for me was going cold on my desk. It was delicious and I was supposed to be enjoying how my taste buds were going back to normal. Smoking would always deprive food of its allure, and made coffee feel like ash on my tongue.

  None of it brought me any peace or comfort, though, even the improved taste of coffee. It was killing me not to start the day with a steaming mug of Arabica and a cigarette. Even caffeine was depressed without its eternal soul mate. Any attempt to find pleasure in life was lost without those faithful little paper soldiers, always within reach in my purse.

  Food, walks, evenings out, yoga, the gym – nothing worked to distract me from my obsessive thoughts of nicotine. And sex? That was a can of worms I didn’t want to dig into at that moment.

  It had been two months, two weeks, eight hours and fifty four minutes since my “last” cigarette, but it could have been centuries for all I knew.

  The nerves got to me. I rose abruptly from the leather chair and started pacing back and forth like a wild beast in a cage. Was it nor
mal to sweat so much? The nasty film of fluid stuck to my body like a second skin. Even when I removed the blazer I felt one step away from spontaneous combustion. The last thing I needed right before a make or break presentation was to worry about the stains on my blouse.

  Anxiety and doubts were quickly polluting all the thoughts in my head. It was amazing to realize just how much the cloud of smoke had helped me not to notice all the red rags of daily life. I dropped down into the chair like a bag of potatoes. When I closed my eyes, I could have sworn all the external sounds turned to excruciating white noise. It surrounded like a thick wall closing tighter, squeezing my lungs and making the veins in my eyeballs burst. I gripped the armrests and forced myself to think of something else. Even the soundproof walls didn’t help.

  Control. Focus. Strength. Clear your mind.

  A hiss of agony escaped my painfully pursed lips and I rubbed my sweaty palms against the flaming hot skin of my cheeks. It had taken me so much time to fix my makeup that morning and now it was officially ruined. The white noise transformed into a scalpel – a rusty, disgusting device dissecting my brain and increasing my headache with every cut.

  I tried to distract myself from my panic and browsed through my purse to find my makeup bag. However, as soon as I saw my face in the hand mirror, the raw taste of defeat filled my mouth. I let the small object slip through my fingers and onto the desk.

  Snapping at my assistant was bad enough. Smashing the mirror against the wall would signal the first step to a complete unraveling.

  My eyes were now bloodshot, which didn't come as a surprise. I rarely slept for more than four hours. The smeared makeup revealed ashen gray skin, dark circles, and eye bags. At least my hair was still in place. It was perfectly arranged, unlike the raging thoughts in my sore skull.

  To the world, Lina Riley was the model of a strong, independent woman who didn't take shit from anyone and lived by her own rules. In that moment, however, deprived of my number one coping mechanism, I was no better than a collapsing building. Maybe this was just the worst stage of healing. Maybe tomorrow I'd feel better and I wouldn’t long for the sweet, poisonous, disgusting smoke to fill my lungs.

  Maybe...

  I turned my eyes to the emergency drawer at the bottom of my desk with a deep longing. It was a siren call, promising an escape from my internal hell. The magic device would silence the blinding white noise and help me get through the rest of the day.

  The grunt I made was not typical of a fine lady, but when you hit rock bottom, manners were the last thing you worried about. To hell with the stupid smoking regulations in the building, the city and the state. I needed my fix and I needed it now!

  The life-saving pack was buried under tons of paper and I had to bend over to pick it up. I knelt with my designer heels raised in the air and rummaged through the old documents. I promised myself the next big investment I'd make would be to purchase my own office building. It would be the last safe haven for tobacco lovers. Smoking would be permitted everywhere, even strongly encouraged. I'd fire all non-smokers and fine everyone who didn't take full advantage of their smoke breaks. The corridors would be filled with nicotine clouds. Fuck safety and fuck health regulations. And to hell with the California smoking ban!

  A sinister grin lit up my face for the first time that morning as I dug out the precious pack. I breathed in the tobacco smell like the desperate addict I was. Abstaining could wait just one more day. Just this meeting. Just this weekend. I'd start over on Monday.

  I’d really hit a record this time, though. I'd gone nearly three months without lighting a cigarette, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

  A rush of anger passed through me at the thought of the smoking regulations. I was paying truckloads of money for the four floors at ChaosTech Solutions. For all the rent and maintenance fees, the building owners could grant me the necessary privacy and comfort to run my company. Instead, whenever I lapsed I had to smoke on the fire escape, just like a rebellious schoolgirl. There was a naughty thrill in doing it and I had an excuse to breathe some air. Okay, I really didn’t expect to smoke in the building. I knew the laws, but it would have been nice to not have to go through the walk of shame when indulging in my only vice.

  The nearest fire escape was a shelter for all the lost souls who hadn’t followed the healthy trend to give up smoking. It happened to be situated at the other end of the floor. The long hallway next to my reception area, where Katie's desk was, led all the way to it. There was only one intersection shortly after my secluded office and it went straight to the elevators. I had to cross the entire floor to reach my target and pass by the open office area. The passageway wound along the Cloud Development and Android/iOS departments, the big break room, and the cubicles of the consulting and support staff – in short, everyone who worked on the floor.

  The board of directors, along with James Douglas – vice president of ChaosTech Solutions, insisted on being secluded from the rest of the company on an executive floor. They turned their snobbish noses up at the idea of sharing any kind of space with the “staff”. It didn’t matter that it was the software engineers and their hard work that brought them their huge profits. I, having started my career as a C#

  1 developer, had no problem mingling with the techies, and the further I was from those pencil pushers and supposed executives, the better. I could monitor them from a long distance anyway.

  It wouldn’t do me any favors if some members of the board knew how deep my habits ran. They’d been trying to find a reason to get rid of me for ages, even if they did very little to contribute to the company’s management. Having a female boss was too much for them.

  They couldn’t do it because of my smoking habit, but every display of weakness an enemy saw could be lethal.

  So, the big wigs were on the top floor and I chose a spacious office closer to the IT guys. At first, they were nervous to be in such close proximity to the CEO, so I made it clear that there was nothing for them to worry about as long as they stayed loyal and gave me their best work.

  When I went for my cigarette breaks, I stole glances at them through the glass walls of their open office area. My developers and designers were too engrossed in whatever project occupied their time to notice me. Nobody was watching my every move or keeping score of how frequently I made those escapes, which was more often than I cared to admit. Still, sometimes I was possessed by the paranoia that I was being watched and judged every step of the way.

  Of course, there were also the days when I couldn't be bothered.

  Katie nearly jumped into her seat when she heard me bursting out of the office door. The bulge in my blazer pocket was enough of a giveaway of the ugly passion I'd surrender to. The sweat on my brow shone under the artificial light in the reception area.

  “If anyone wants to see me, tell them I'm in the marketing department. I won't be long.”

  With those words, I dashed away before guilt could attack me. My assistant was a smart girl, though, to be honest, the fact I was going outside for a cigarette would be obvious even to a four-year-old. Katie would never think of reprimanding me, even if I wasn't her boss. So why did I need this ridiculous charade? To keep the illusion I was invincible? How pathetic.

  The red haze in my brain was rising as I walked quickly down the hallway. It was hard to go through the motions, nod politely at people and try not to look like a sweaty mess on the verge of collapsing. Just a few more feet. Some insignificant distance and it would all stop. Why was the last minute before my retreat taking so damned long?

  Right then, the voices were nothing more than an addition to the omnipresent white noise echoing through my head. Was someone calling my name? I couldn't know. All my tortured body felt was the pain of my long, manicured nails ripping into my wet palms.

  Finally, I made it to the fire escape and grabbed the iron rails, barely able to catch my breath. The light rain from the morning had stopped about half an hour ago. The caress of the cool summer wind and pleasant
sunshine would have been bliss in any other circumstance. It was difficult to even acknowledge them when every cell in my body was screaming for release. My hands shook as I pulled the pack and a lighter out of my pocket. Oh, how beautiful they looked. They felt so damned fine between my lips – thick, with a delicious taste of tobacco.

  For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating. It was as if the soft white cylinder was laughing at me when I slid the butt in my mouth.

  Did you really think you could live without us? Don't even bother!

  Screaming at people? Being a bitch? These were just the normal effects of abstinence. The moment I started fantasizing about my cigarettes talking to me, I knew I was screwed. “Just fucking do it!”I hissed at myself and flicked my thumb across the lighter's wheel... and the damned thing simply cracked, as if imitating the hissing sound escaping my lips.

  “No, no, no, no!” My frustration hit its peak as I nearly ripped my skin in an attempt to make the lighter work. The white noise in my skull got even louder. Every movement got more difficult due to the copious amount of sweat making my hands slick and wet. “Just fucking work, you miserable fucking worthless piece of...”

  The next level of madness would be to hurl the useless device down to the street without a care for the consequences. Instead, it slipped through my fingers and onto the iron grid floor. Don't you dare start crying now!

  It was that moment when a beautiful strong flame emerged before my bloodshot gaze. The gates of heaven opened for me, and I would have wept with relief if I hadn't been so busy taking advantage of the working lighter. My mind didn't even register the person who handed it to me. It could have been Satan himself, or an angel of mercy. Either way, my journey to insanity was postponed.