Chef's Like it Hot!

by Alexandria Infante

  ***

  I sat in the car for several moments, just trying to catch my breath.

  My god, I didn’t remember him being that amazing looking!

  I would be putty in his hands if he just blew on me!

  I laughed, then grabbed my Bluetooth to call Kendra.

  “What up?” She said into the phone.

  “Omg you will never believe who I just had a meeting with to be contracted out!” I cried, and she laughed, glad to see I was excited.

  “Who?”

  “Colin.”

  “Colin?” She returned confused.

  “Ass spanking hawt Colin from culinary school.” I said, and she gasped.

  “STFU! What! You mean lil cutie Colin, who was joined at the hip with you?” She cried realizing who I was referring to.

  “Yes, and OH MY GOD gurl, he ain’t little no mo. He has to be at least 6’4, and the body, I just can’t Kenny!” I moaned, and she laughed.

  “Why the fuck not! You haven’t dated anyone seriously in six years Sarie, it’s time. Kellen fucked you up, and you just stayed there.” She said, and I sighed.

  “No, that’s not true I’ve dated. Plus, what about Ollie?” I stated, and she laughed even more.

  “Yea, a hoe in men’s clothing. Ollie is fucken fine, but he’s an asshole, which is why you hooked up with him. You wanted something you knew you didn’t have to invest in.”

  “Exactly! I would never be able to control myself around Colin! I was so deep into him, and he never had those feelings for me.”

  “Okay, but how do you know Sarie? Besides you, he was besties with Missa. I bet if you asked her, she would say differently. Anyway, what was he supposed to do, step to you when you were with that asshole Kellen? Colin never struck me as that kind of guy.”

  I sighed as I started the car, then looked over my shoulder to pull out of the parking spot.

  “I know, but I always felt so awkward around him. It’s not right for men to look like that, and if you saw him now, you would see what I meant. He barely looks ten years older, and if anything, the maturity has made him even more amazingly hot!” I lamented, and she laughed.

  “Well you have two options.” She said, and I gave her a look, even if she couldn’t see it.

  “What are those Kenny?”

  “1. Take it for what it’s worth, have a good time with him if he’s feeling you, see where it goes.”

  “And the other?”

  “Stay away from him if you don’t want to go there. Because I’m so not seeing the Colin we used to know as a fuck Sar, he wasn’t the type then; and I seriously doubt he’s changed that much.”

  “But how the hell am I going to do that Kenny, when I just accepted a contract with his company, which will put me in the black for the next year and a half!” I wailed, and she sighed.

  “Then I don’t know what to tell you babe. But what could it hurt?”

  “I don’t know, anyway are you coming over tonight? The menu for the venue this weekend is Latin and Jamaican, and Sunday is a Brazilian brunch, so I need to cook tonight to see where I am. I’m gonna have to forgo clubbing tonight.” I asked, and she laughed.

  “Omg, of course I am. I swear to God, I gained 30lbs your first year of culinary school!” She cried, and I laughed too.

  “Okay, bring drinks, especially some Sangria.” I returned, and she chuckled.

  “Fine, and am I telling Garey and Amanda?” She asked referring to her housemates.

  “Oh totally. I’m pretty much going to make the main courses for Sat, just so I can get my bearings. You know I can’t stand Mitchell’s pretentious fucken ass, and he’s leading this up. I have no idea why Colin and his partner did that.”

  “They probably thought you weren’t going to take the contract. There is no way I could see Colin doing that, unless it was his only option. Mitchell is a fuck face, but after you and Ms. Kerry, he is one of the best in the business.” Kendra stated, and I nodded, even if I didn’t want to.

  “Okay, so I’ll see you guys at 7:45?” I questioned as I turned into Geltsons.

  “Yea, is it okay if I bring Mannford?” She asked, and I laughed.

  Why his mother named him that, I would never know.

  “Of course, but I’m telling you now if you bring his friend Costa I will shank you tonight!” I yelled, and she laughed.

  “Why? What happened?”

  “He tried to hem me up in the kitchen the last time, and was seriously not taking no for an answer. I am so not feeling that or him. Keep his ass at home, if you want him alive.” I said firmly, and she gasped.

  “WTF, why didn’t you tell me? Or more to the point Mannford? He would have kicked his ass!” She yelled back, and I sighed as I parked the car, pulled up the parking break, then turned off the engine.

  “It’s fine, just don’t bring his ass. Now, get off my phone, I got a lot of shit to do; see you later.” I said, she agreed, then hung up.

  Studio

  City…

  Colin looked up as Kevin sat down.

  “What’s up?” He asked as he saw the frown on Kevin’s face.

  “Mannford just asked me to go to some food tasting thing with him and his girl, but Elena’s got it in for me tonight. She’s on one, because I cancelled on her the last two times, and said if I was ever thinking of getting into that again, I’d better not fuck up.”

  Colin laughed, then took a sip of his beer.

  “Well, looks like you’re assed out.” Colin replied as he took a bite of his burger.

  “I know, and I’m not even serious about her! It’s just, the fucken sex is orgasmic Xs two, so I can’t think straight.”

  “Then maybe you should tell her, that.”

  “And fuck up what we have. She’d never go down on me again!” Kevin wailed, and Colin just shook his head laughing.

  “And you wonder why women call you an asshole dog!”

  “Hey, that hurt!” Kevin bemoaned feigning a look of pain.

  “Yea right, you delve into that shit like it’s a suit of armor.” Colin retorted laughing, and Kevin gave him the bird.

  “But, since I can’t go, I told Manny you would. Something about this really hot best friend of his girl. He took Costa the last time, but his drunk ass tried hitting on her to no avail, so he’s been banned. The other guy is gay, so he wanted a road dog with all those women. And who knows, you might find her attractive.”

  “What the fuck Kev, you know what I’m all about right now!” Colin yowled, and Kevin grinned.

  “Dude, no one said that you couldn’t look, maybe have a last fling before you practically propose marriage to her!” Kevin countered, and Colin frowned.

  “Fine, but I’m only doing it for Manny, dickweed.” Colin muttered, then threw the napkin at Kevin.

  “I told him you would. He said to meet him at his place at 7pm; bring a bottle of Sangria, and maybe some beers. If this ends with Elena early, hell, I might stop by. Supposedly she is super fucken hot.” Kevin retorted, and Colin nodded, as he signaled the server for the check.

  Chapter Three…

  Hollywood…

  After I left Geltsons, I stopped by Wal-Mart.

  I needed some new make-up brushes, and ELF’s line was the least expensive, and was actually as good as Sephora’s.

  Not to mention at an 85% discounted price!

  As I roamed the isles, I happened to see the most remarkable sundress!

  It was red, with black vines and flowers on it, in tube top fashion, and I knew I just had to have it.

  I looked at the price, $14.99, and thought shit; at that price I could do two; so I took the red one, and the black one with the red vines.

  When I reached the check out, the guy in front of me looked back; and I was liking!

  He was very handsome, and I tried not to smile too wide.

  Then he made the mistake of grinning, and I nearly choked on my laughter.

  He was missing his two front teeth!

  I qu
ickly looked away, then pretended that I got a text message, and he turned back around.

  I know that was rude, but if I continued to look at him I would burst out laughing; which I surmised would be rudder than me pretending I got a text message.

  ***

  When I reached my apartment I actually had to make two trips to get all my goods from the car.

  I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3pm, placed the food on the counters, then commenced to pour myself a glass of Sangria, for inspiration.

  I retrieved the list from my briefcase, then frowned a bit.

  The list was extensive, so for the next few days, my friends were getting free eats.

  Tonight I would do the Latin portion.

  Main service was;

  Paella, Mofongo, which I was totally surprised at; then wondered if the people hosting it were Puerto Rican. Traditional Paella is a staple of Spain, but most Latin countries have their own twist to it. Basically to prepare Paella you take an herb blend of bay leaves, 1 cup chopped fresh parsley, 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice, 1 tablespoon olive oil, 2 large garlic cloves, minced, and set aside.

  Then combine water, saffron, and broth in a large saucepan. Bring to a simmer (do not boil). Keep warm over low heat. Peel and devein shrimp, leaving tails intact; set aside too. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large paella pan or large skillet over medium-high heat. Add 1lb chicken drummets; sauté 2 minutes on each side. Remove from pan. Add ½ lb Italian sausage and ½ lb prosciutto; sauté 2 minutes. Remove from pan. Add 2 lbs shrimp and sauté 2 minutes. Remove from pan.

  Reduce heat to medium-low.

  Add 1 cup onions and ½ bell pepper; sauté 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add 1 cup tomatoes, ½ tsp paprika, and 3 garlic cloves; cook 5 minutes. Add 3 cups rice; cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Stir in herb blend, 2 cups broth mixture, chicken drummets, and sausage. Bring to a low boil; cook 10 minutes, stirring frequently.

  Add ½ lb mussels to pan, nestling them into rice mixture. Cook 5 minutes or until shells open; discard any unopened shells. Arrange shrimp, heads down, in rice mixture, and cook 5 minutes or until shrimp are done. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup lemon juice. Remove from heat; cover with a towel, and let stand 10 minutes.

  We like to serve with lemon wedges, and a large spoon.

  Now Monfongo is a stapled Puerto Rican (Borcuia) dish. Pizzole, Buñuelos de Queso, which is like cheese fritters, Mojo Isleño, Pollo en Fricasé, and Quimbombó Guisado, which is stewed okra.

  The more I studied the menu; I knew they had to be Puerto Rican or of some Latin decent, because the majority of the menu was Puerto Rican.

  I sighed, then realized that I just might have to go back to the market, then thought about Kendra. Kendra was Dominican and Black, and could cook her ass off; even if she did marketing and hospitality. Puerto Rican, Dominican, Cuban and most of the island Latin countries were pretty analogous.

  We considered ourselves islanders, just like our Jamaican brothers and sisters.

  “Ay.” I said as she picked up the phone.

  “¿Qué quieres?” What do you want? She asked laughing.

  “I need sofrito fixings and coconut oil.”

  “When?” She sighed, and I laughed.

  “Now bitch, if you wanna eat!” I said laughing, and she did too.

  “I got cho bitch. Fine, I’ll drop them off ahora mismo.” She said right now sighing.

  “Thankie.” I sang, and she hung up on me.

  I chuckled as I walked into my room, changed into some sweats, a white tee, then put my skull cap on.

  I poured myself another glass of Sangria, then got started.

  I figured I’d do the Tostones and Tembleque first, since they were deserts, and I could nibble while I made them.

  It hit me right then, that I hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast. I immediately grabbed a banana, to coat my stomach from the Sangria.

  I pulled out the plantains and began slicing diagonally. I took out ten, then figured that would be enough.

  Basically Tostones are twice fried plantains.

  What you do is;

  Heat about 1/2-inch of oil in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. You then add half the plantain slices to the hot oil and fry, turning frequently, until they’re golden brown on all sides. Remove them from the pan and place on a paper-towel-lined plate; and repeat with remaining slices.

  When the slices have been fried, now you smash them to the thickness you want. Take a spatula and press into the fried banana, to flatten it out to your desire thickness, then return to the hot oil and fry again on each side until well browned and crispy. Drain on paper towels and repeat with the remaining flattened slices.

  We pretty much do variations of this, and as I looked at the menu, I saw they were serving it with mojo garlic sauce.

  Also, sometimes we soak the plantains in salted water for about an hour and then dry well before sautéing. This is said to make them crispier and add flavor. As well, you have to make sure you use only green, unripe plantains for this dish. They have a higher starch content and come out crispier in the hot oil.

  I made the mojo sauce, then set it aside.

  Next was the Tembleque.

  Tembleque is Puerto Rican coconut pudding, and I recalled this was one of my favorites when I was a kid. My mother made the most amazing Tembleque, and I remembered I couldn’t wait to get home from school so I could have some; but she would make me wait until after dinner, and as a kid you would have thought I was dying.

  I chuckled, then took out the ingredients.

  I was a little annoyed by the fact that this was one of the deserts. I was never any good at it. If it didn’t come out right I would tell Colin to hand it off to Ms. Kerry, he was used to it, being Hawaiian and Black; he’d made the Hawaiian version of it, Haupia coconut pudding all the time.

  To make Tembleque I would need coconut milk, and 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla.

  As I looked at the menu again, I saw it called for sprinkle cinnamon or nutmeg after chilled.

  But like everything, there are so many versions of it, because it can also be topped with crushed pineapple, whipped cream, or ground macadamia nuts. Also, in the islands, we use arrowroot starch (pia) instead of cornstarch. So if you like the O.G. it’s always best to follow the arrowroot route, or at least that’s what my mother says.

  I sighed as I looked at the clock.

  It was 4:30pm, I seriously needed to stop procrastinating.

  I sighed, then kicked it in gear.

  Next was the Pozole.

  I would make the traditional Mexican version, because it too is a staple.

  What you need is;

  1 1⁄2 lbs pork shoulder, 2 garlic cloves, peeled, 1 tablespoon cumin powder, 1 onion, chopped, 2 garlic cloves, chopped, 2 tablespoons oil, 1⁄2 teaspoon black pepper, 1⁄2 teaspoon cayenne, 2 tablespoons California chili powder, 1 tablespoon salt, 1⁄4 teaspoon oregano, 4 cups canned white hominy, drained and rinsed, 3 -5 cups pork broth, from cooking pork shoulder

  1 cup canned diced green chilis (optional), salt, 2 whole fresh jalapenos, chopped (optional)

  3 whole ancho chilies, seeded and stemmed (garnish) (optional).

  To make it you;

  Peel, and chop the onions, garlic, green chilies and jalapenos. Next drain the hominy and rinse it. Boil the ancho chilies in a separate small pot for garnish.

  Place the meat in a large saucepan and cover with lightly salted water. Add 1/2 chopped onion, garlic cloves, pepper, cumin, and oregano.

  Bring to a boil over medium heat, skim off any foam that rises, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 45 minutes.

  Remove meat and broth, reserving both.

  Sauté the remaining chopped onion and garlic in oil until translucent. Add the remaining spices, stir. Cut the reserved pork into 1 inch cubes and add to the pan.

  Stir in the canned hominy, pork broth (if there is not enough pork broth, add chicken stock; 2-4 cups, green chilies and jalapenos.

  Simmer, covered, for 45
to 60 minutes until the meat and hominy are tender.

  If necessary, cook for up to an additional 60 minutes until the chilies and onions are well blended into the broth. Degrease the stew, taste for salt, and serve in soup bowls.

  Garnishes served with Pozole are; lots of lime/lemon wedges, sliced radishes, chopped cilantro, Shredded cabbage(not red), and fresh/ packaged fried corn tortillas.

  I sighed as I set the pot to simmer, drew my hand across my forehead, then killed the rest of the Sangria in my glass.

  ***

  When I was finally done, because instead of just dropping off the stuff; of course Kendra had to gossip. Something about Mannford bringing one of his long time friends, and possibly another one showing up later; so she had invited Missanna, because from what she heard they were both hot.

  I felt like chocking her the fuck out, because I had to revamp the entire menu to accommodate three more mouths. But since I hadn’t seen Missanna in 6 years, I gave in.

  Plus, I was ready for some fun, and Missanna always brought the fun with her ghetto ass!

  After reworking the entire thing, I was satisfied, put everything in the oven, then headed off to take a shower.

  If anyone else showed up, they were eating off someone else’s plate!

  ***

  When I stepped out of the shower, it was 7pm.

  I had 45minutes to make myself presentable.

  I pulled my hair up, put it in a messy bun on top of my head, slipped on the black dress, then concentrated on my face.

  It wasn’t like it was a date, but I didn’t want to look like I just stepped out of the kitchen either.

  Who knew, the guy might actually be worthy.

  I thought laughing as I took out my makeup kit to do damage control.

  West

  Hollywood…

  Colin surveyed himself in the mirror, then frowned as he snatched off the tie.