Becoming Alpha

by Aileen Erin

  “What!”

  “It’s true. I could tell you things like you’re beautiful and have the most amazing eyes, but any guy could say the same thing.” He smiled. “You’re amazing—I mean judging by your T-shirts alone, I’d say we were on the same wavelength, but that doesn’t even come close to all of it. I feel this connection. It’s more than attraction, although that’s there, too. And I really, really want to get to know you, but there’s this thing hovering—this need. If we just got it out of the way, maybe it’d help. It might just make things worse, but you can’t blame me for trying.”

  My heart rate skyrocketed as he talked. He felt the connection too? “You’re a no bullshit kind of a guy, huh?”

  He shrugged. “I’m just honest. I don’t like to play games.” He paused. “So what do you say? Can I kiss you?”

  My hormones were screaming, Hell yes! Please, for the love of God, kiss me now! But I made myself think about it.

  A kiss could be disaster. Totally nightmare worthy. And yet, even though I didn’t know Dastien at all, I couldn’t ignore that connection either.

  All of a sudden he was closer.

  Had I moved?

  I licked my lips and nodded, saying a silent prayer that I would see nothing.

  I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine. They were warm and soft. I opened my mouth a little, and he moved in deeper, placing his hands on my shoulders drawing me close. His tongue brushed mine and desire blossomed. I was lost in a wave of sensations. Through my visions I could feel what he was feeling as well as my own too, and it made me want more. I moved closer, and we tumbled back onto the ground.

  He laughed as he hovered over me. He murmured something in French, and then kissed me again.

  I wrapped my leg around his hip and pulled him closer to me.

  I moaned and he growled in response.

  His teeth bit down on my lip. Something ripped into my shoulder.

  I pushed at his chest. “What the hell!” He was up and ten steps away from me before I could blink. His eyes were glowing yellow. He took a long slow breath.

  I reached for the back of my shoulder, and touched something wet. It couldn’t be blood. The black gloves showed nothing in the dark. I quickly pulled one off and touched it again. I got up and moved closer to the porch light.

  A drop of blood dripped off my fingertip.

  I ran my tongue along my bottom lip. It tasted faintly metallic. I was bleeding.

  “You bit me?” I knew it was my first real kiss and all, but I seriously doubted bleeding was normal. Pain blossomed across my left shoulder. “What? Why?”

  “I’m so sorry, Tessa,” he whispered. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to do it. God! Please know that I—”

  Music spilled out from the house as the screen door opened behind me. Rosalyn, Carlos, and the other guys that I’d taken the shot with came outside.

  “Tessa. Where’d you disappear—” Carlos stopped mid-sentence as he looked back and forth between Dastien and me. “Is he bothering you?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. I really had no clue what the hell was going on. My mind was stuck on one thing. It had been an amazing kiss. The best I could ever imagine a kiss being. Even now, in pain, I’d do it again. No doubt. Something in the core of me needed him, and from the looks of him right now, the feeling was mutual.

  When it came to Dastien, all I had were questions. And attraction. But mostly questions.

  Carlos and his friends were closing the distance. I pulled my glove back on before any of them got closer. The last thing I needed was another vision.

  I glanced back to Dastien unsure of how he wanted to play this off. Tears shimmered in his eyes. The sight took my breath away. I was hurt and pissed, rightfully so, but there was nothing to cry about here.

  At least I hoped there wasn’t.

  “I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t mean…I can’t…” Then he melted into the darkness.

  What the hell. Why would he do that—kiss me like that—and then just run away?

  “That guy is one fine piece of meat,” Rosalyn said.

  Her words brought me back to reality. Suddenly I was jealous, and I didn’t like that one bit.

  “Rosalyn,” Carlos said sharply. He really didn’t like the St. Ailbe’s guys.

  This was a nightmare. Now I was standing there, bleeding, hurting, and any hopes I had of a good reputation were destroyed. These guys were going to think I was a slut.

  Rosalyn scoffed as she walked over to me. “What? I’m not allowed to look just because he’s one of them?” She stopped short. “Oh my God. Are you bleeding?”

  “It’s no big deal. It’s only a scratch.”

  She took a couple of steps back.

  “There’s blood on her shoulder too,” Carlos said. He turned a sickly color of green and swallowed.

  This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting from them. Why were they freaking out about the blood?

  “Holy shit. That was one of the guys from St. Ailbe’s,” one of the other boys said, clearly a bit slow on the uptake. He took a step away from me.

  “Kind of,” I said, trying to downplay it. “Look I know the people from there are supposed to be dangerous, but he’s already graduated, so I’m sure he’s all reformed or whatever.”

  The boy smirked. “It’s not a reform school. It’s a school for—”

  “Shut up,” Carlos said and glanced at Rosalyn. “Take her home. She’s not welcome here anymore.”

  There was no stopping the gasp. “I don’t understand. I’m hurt here and you haven’t even asked if I’m okay or offered up any sort of first aid.”

  Carlos and Rosalyn didn’t even acknowledge me. “I don’t want that in my car,” Rosalyn whined.

  “I’m not a that. I’m a person!” They’d lost their minds. And I had apparently become invisible since no one was paying attention to anything I said.

  “Tough shit. You brought her.” Spit flew from Carlos’ mouth as he yelled. “You’re responsible for her. Take. Her. Home. Now. And don’t you dare think about making her walk. If she changes tonight out in the open, it’d be on your head.” He strode back into the house, the other boys close on his heels.

  “Hey! I’m right here!” The sound of the door slamming shut made my stomach knot. That was the sound of my social status at Cedar Ridge High going from cool to freak in no time flat.

  “Let’s go.” She stormed off toward the cars.

  I broke the uncomfortable silence as we got into her car. “I don’t understand. Why is it such a big deal?”

  “You don’t understand.” She rolled her eyes. “Weren’t you told to stay away from St. Ailbe’s guys?”

  Mr. Dawson did say that. “But Dastien is totally normal.”

  Her laugh was harsh. “No. No, he’s not.”

  I shivered. I was missing something, something huge. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough.” She pulled over at my house. “Get out,” she said without even looking at me.

  “Fine. Thanks for a great time. Really cool, Rosalyn.” I hopped out and slammed the door.

  Chapter Nine

  The TV was on in my parent’s room when I walked in the house. I slowly closed the door behind me.

  “You’re back already?”

  I jumped at the sound of Axel’s voice behind me.

  “What the fu—”

  I slapped my hand over his mouth. “I don’t want Mom and Dad to know.” I paused. “Seriously.”

  He nodded, and I moved my hand slowly away from his mouth, ready to slap it back if he started yelling again.

  “Who did that to you?”

  Axel was in protector mode. He reverted to it whenever I was hurt or being picked on. I prayed for patience. “Can you please find wherever Mom put the first aid stuff and meet me in my room?”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. Yup. There was no way he’d let this one go, but he went in search of the kit anyway.

  My
shoulder was full on throbbing by the time I got upstairs. This night had been a disaster of epic proportions. If I could get into my room without Mom or Dad checking on me, I’d be happy. I couldn’t face telling them that come Monday, life would go back to status quo in Tessaland.

  I crept up the stairs, desperately trying to remember if there were any squeaky boards.

  “I’m home,” I said from my bedroom door.

  The TV muted. “You’re early. How was the party?” Mom’s voice came from their room.

  “Fine, but I’m pooped. Can we talk about it in the morning?” I held my breath as I waited for her to answer.

  There was whispering back and forth as they debated. “Okay. Get some rest,” Mom said finally.

  I breathed a sigh of relief when the TV’s sound came back on. I threw my belt and shoes in the closet. In the light I could see the blood staining my gloves. I chucked them in my trash.

  What was I going to do now? I couldn’t lift my arm up to take off my dress.

  Oh well. It was a nice dress while it lasted. I grabbed a pair of scissors from my desk. There was a soft knock on the door. I had a moment of panic before Axel opened it.

  “Get in here, and help me,” I said.

  He closed the door and dumped the first aid stuff on my bed. I handed him the scissors. “You’re going to have to cut the dress off me.”

  I could feel his breath on my back. He was investigating my cut without touching it himself.

  He sighed. “This looks really bad, Tess. You need stitches.”

  “Don’t say stitches. That involves needles and I don’t do needles.” The thought of them made me queasy. “It doesn’t even really hurt. A few butterfly bandages will do. Just cut the strap and move the material away from it. Then pour a bunch of peroxide on it until it stops fizzing.”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll do it. But Mom’s going to find out in the morning and she’s going to say you need—”

  “Don’t you dare say the ‘s’ word again. I really don’t need them. I’ve had cuts worse than this.”

  “No. You haven’t,” he muttered. The scissors sliced through my strap. “Stay still. This is probably gonna burn like a motherfucker.”

  He poured it down my shoulder, and tears filled my eyes. “Shit. Blow on it or something.”

  “Seriously? I don’t want to get that close to it. It’s bubbling up like crazy.”

  “I don’t care what you do. Just do something!” I dug my fingernails into my hands to take my mind off of it.

  “Okay. Okay. Hang on.” He grabbed a book off my shelf and started fanning it.

  It totally wasn’t helping. “The peroxide was a bad idea.”

  “You know what a good idea is? The emergency room. In fact, it’s a fantastic idea.”

  I rolled my eyes. “That’ll take hours. No way. I already said it twice, but I’ll say it again. I don’t need stitches. You can’t make me get them.”

  “Fine. But you’re just being a stubborn baby.” He poured more peroxide on it.

  “Fuck! That burns,” I said when I could get air enough to talk again.

  “See. You’re such a baby.” Axel started digging through the clear plastic bin that had all the first aid supplies in it. He came back with a tube of antibiotic ointment.

  “Don’t use your finger.”

  He showed me the Q-tip in his hand. “Please. I want to touch that as much as you want me to.” He rubbed it on and put an extra-large bandage over the cuts. “So you going to tell me whose ass I need to kick?”

  Nope. Not a chance in hell. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It definitely matters. No one hurts my sister and gets away with it.”

  I wanted to cry and scream and hit something, but none of that would help me right now. “Can we talk about it tomorrow? Please. I’m hurting and tired and sad. Really, really sad.”

  He stood there, staring at me for a while. “Okay,” he said finally. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” He handed me an ice pack.

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  “Take care of your lip. Okay?”

  I nodded.

  When he left, I grabbed the scissors again, and cut down the front of my dress. It was one of the only dresses I actually liked. It was a damn shame to have to destroy it completely. Once it was off, I studied the material and saw four inch-long rips where my left shoulder blade was.

  How did Dastien manage to do that with his bare hands?

  I snorted. It didn’t matter how he’d done it, but it sure sucked that he had.

  I threw it in the trash and grabbed a giant sleep shirt, slowly easing my arm into it. As I put peroxide and ointment on my bottom lip, my mind drifted back to Dastien. Something was off about him. Okay, so maybe the biting and scratching thing was it, but I couldn’t get over the fact that I didn’t get any visions when we kissed. And that connection. Intense didn’t even begin to cover it.

  He was different from everyone else I’d ever met. And, even accidental biting aside, I was still drawn to him.

  This was stupid. Why was I pining over some lame guy who I kissed and then who ran away? I couldn’t lose my shit over one kiss. Hopefully the cuts would be better in the morning, and I could forget this whole thing ever happened.

  A shiver rushed down my spine. Something was watching me. Someone was waiting for me outside. Dad had put curtains up on Friday night, so no one could see in, not that anyone ventured down our road, but I couldn’t shake that feeling.

  I slid the curtains silently along the rod and leaned close to the window and jumped back.

  Oh crap.

  A wolf was in my driveway. I stepped back toward the window to double check.

  It was sitting there. Watching me with its golden eyes. I wanted to go out to it, but that was crazy. It was a wolf. A dangerous, wild, totally not-tame wolf. I threw the curtain closed and slid into bed.

  It wasn’t until that moment, as I waited for sleep to come, that I realized how much I wanted friends. I liked to think I was fine alone, but sometimes being alone was flat out lonely. Axel was great, but he had his own life to live. With him gone soon, I was going to be the outcast again.

  The wolf howled outside, and I wanted to howl with it.

  ***

  “Tessa!” Mom was yelling through my bedroom door. “I know you went out last night, but you are not missing church!” The alarm clock glowed 9:45 AM in red.

  I moaned, feeling more than a little groggy and nauseous. Probably from that stupid shot of tequila. “I’m not feeling so good.”

  Mom opened the door and peeked through the crack. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”

  “I feel like shit on a stick.”

  “Language!” She came over to my bed. “Did something happen to your lip?” She ran her cool hand against my forehead.

  I tried to tune out all the thoughts she was having, but failed. Worried that I’d caught something. Worried that my father would get sick and have to miss work after only just starting. Then worried that I’d pass it along to my brother who had to leave soon.

  The woman worried way too much.

  “You’re burning up.” She hurried out of the room, and came back seconds later with a glass of orange juice and a couple Tylenol in her hand. “Sit up.”

  I winced and grabbed at my left shoulder.

  Mom’s eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Take off your shirt.”

  “Mom, it’s fine real—”

  “Take off your shirt, Tessa. Or I will take it off for you.”

  That was her patented you-better-do-what-I’m-telling-you voice. Once that showed up, there was no arguing with her.

  I sucked in air as I slid my arm from my sleeve. I left the shirt dangling in front of me. It was too much work to take it off completely. My eyes watered as she pulled off the bandage. “Gentle please.”

  She was going to flip out in three…two…

  “Who did t
his to you?”

  My cheeks heated.

  “Was it someone at the party?”

  “Please, don’t tell Dad.”

  “God, Tessa. This looks bad. Your skin is so hot, which means it’s probably infected. Why didn’t you tell us last night?” She brushed her finger against the skin next to the wound, and I saw what her next move was going to be.

  Yep. That’s what I thought. She was thinking about how to tell Dad. He was going to be extra pissed when he found out that someone from St. Ailbe’s—let alone his bosses second in command—had hurt me. And when I told him how the Cedar Ridge High kids wanted nothing to do with me now, he was going to flip. We moved all this way for nothing.

  “Well, let’s get it cleaned.” She looked at my shoulder again and then back at me.

  “I cleaned it last night.” Tears welled, but I wouldn’t let them fall. “The kit’s still on my desk.”

  Somehow Mom taking care of my shoulder made it real. I had actually kissed Dastien last night. Thinking about him made me anxious to see him again. Which was beyond stupid. The guy was obviously dangerous.

  “Turn around.” The second the peroxide filled cotton balls touched my shoulder I nearly threw up. Last night was nothing compared to today. Mom held my shoulder still when I tried to move away. The pain was enough to block out anything Mom was thinking. It was getting worse, not better.

  “You need stitches.”

  God. Not the stitches talk again. “Can’t we put the Band-Aids on it and see what happens in a day or two?”

  “We’ll see.” The pain exploded, radiating across my back as she rubbed the Neosporin into the cuts and put on the band-aids. Gently, she helped me back into the shirt.

  “Let’s see the lip.” She gave my lip the same treatment, going light on the Neosporin and leaving off the band-aid.

  She sat down beside me on my bed and gave me that look, the one that said that if I even tried to lie I would be in serious trouble. “Did someone hurt you?”

  “Please, Mom. Can we talk about it later?”

  She pressed her lips together as she thought about it, and then finally sighed. “Fine. Go back to bed. I’ll come check on you in a bit.”