Becoming Alpha

by Aileen Erin

  Some of my classmates grumbled as they cleared out. Dastien finished mopping while we waited for the last of the eavesdroppers to go. I bit my lip as he cleaned. I wanted to ask Dastien what happened with Imogene, but he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk.

  When everyone was gone, Meredith broke the silence. She sauntered up to him. “Glad you didn’t forget cleanup duty, Daz.” She rubbed her hand down his back.

  Did she have to be so touchy-feely? My blood heated but I kept it under control, trying to remember that she was my friend. I concentrated on even breathing.

  He cocked his head. “It’s been a while, but I think I remember how it goes.”

  “Aren’t you the cutest?” She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips.

  Red. All I saw was red.

  I’m not quite sure how it happened. I don’t remember even moving. One second I stood next to Chris. The next, Meredith was flat on her back, and I had her pinned to the ground. A bright red splotch spread across her left cheek.

  I was growling when Dastien reached both arms around my stomach and lifted me off her.

  “Shhh. I got you,” he whispered in my ear.

  My stomach bottomed out at the sound. The smell of him filled me—the scent of outdoors spread peace through my blood. He was like a drug.

  And then came the shame. My face heated and I pushed Dastien’s arms off of me. I hung my head and stepped toward her. “I’m so unbelievably sorry. I don’t know what happened…I don’t even remember hitting you, but that was totally inexcusable—”

  Adrian laughed.

  “It’s not funny—” I started but Adrian cut me off.

  “¡Joder! It can’t be. That doesn’t happen anymore.” He helped Meredith up and ran his fingers over the mark on her face. “You’ve got cajones to try that. She hit you hard. It’ll get worse before it gets better.”

  “It was worth it.” Meredith straightened her clothes. “For the record, I called it.”

  She was ignoring my apology and I didn’t blame her for it. I had to just keep going until she accepted. “I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember moving. I swear I didn’t—”

  “Honey, please.” She held up a hand to stop my babbling. “I made you do it.”

  What? I stepped away from her, my gaze darting between the four of them. “I don’t understand.”

  “You’d only attack me like that if he was your mate. As in an actual mated pair. As in the other half of your soul.”

  It felt like I was floating.

  Chris crossed his arms. “I never had a shot.” He closed his eyes.

  Crap. I’d hurt him.

  Dastien stepped toward me but this was all too much. I dropped heavily to the ground and hugged my knees to my chest. I knew what they said was true, but the whole processing it thing was too much. I closed my eyes to think. Was he really my mate?

  I’d been fighting my feelings for him. But why? I knew I wanted him. I knew it since I touched that paper in my father’s office. But he kept pushing me away, and I kept pushing him away.

  It had to end. I couldn’t deny it. Especially not if I was going to slug Meredith over it.

  A hand brushed my hair away from my face, but I kept my eyes shut. “Mon cherie, please. Open your eyes.”

  “Okay. I give up.” I swallowed, and opened them. He was sitting cross-legged in front of me.

  “We’re not normal,” he said finally.

  I laughed. “You can say that again.”

  He smiled, and his dimples showed. “We’re not normal. We never were. I spent a long time feeling not quite whole. And then I saw you and something clicked.” He ran his hand down my cheek and I leaned into it. “Believe me, I would love to do this over. To start again and do it the right way. Take you on some dates. Get to know you better. Slower. I lost control for a second and I didn’t even know what happened until it was done. I think the wolf knew that I wouldn’t turn you. I would never take the risk of you not surviving the transformation. But what’s done is done. Give me a chance.”

  “I’m not the only one who keeps running away.”

  He sighed. “I was trying to give you time to adjust. Everyone demanded that I give you time.”

  He was too far away. I wanted to be closer, so I just went with the feeling. I closed the space between us, sitting on his lap, and wrapped my arms and legs around him. I rested my head on his shoulder. “I think it’s only making the whole thing harder for me,” I whispered into his ear. “I feel lost and confused when you walk away. Angry. Hurt. I don’t like it. I’m having enough of a hard time with the whole werewolf thing to also figure out a messed up relationship too.”

  It didn’t take long for him to squeeze me tight. He scented my neck and placed a soft kiss on it.

  “I’m sorry that you’re stuck with me, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I swear,” he whispered. He let go, leaning back to see my face. “Okay?”

  I nodded. “Okay.” I startled at the sound of a throat clearing. “I forgot we weren’t alone.”

  “Unfortunately not alone,” Dastien said.

  “Girl talk,” Meredith mouthed when I met her gaze. “Do you want to go early to dinner?” Meredith asked aloud.

  My stomach answered for me. “That would be amazing,” I said.

  “We’ll stay here and help Dastien clean up,” Chris said.

  Dastien stood with me still attached. I dropped down to the ground and turned to go, but Dastien grabbed my hand. I pulled him down to me for a kiss. It was soft and quick, but still burned me all the way to my toes.

  “Later,” Meredith said as she pulled me away from Dastien.

  We walked to the cafeteria. It was thankfully mostly empty, except for the workers who were busy setting out food for dinner. Most people were probably in the common rooms playing games or watching TV. We filled our plates and sat down.

  “You’re pretty quiet,” Meredith said.

  “It’s a lot to take in. Did I just give into him?”

  “Yup,” she said. “But don’t freak. You’ve got time. Even if Chris and I are right about what’s going on. Doesn’t mean anything has to change right now.”

  I let that sink in while I picked at my mountain of mashed potatoes. “It’s not that. I feel like I’ve known him forever but he’s still new. Like I’ve known that he was mine since I first saw him, even if I didn’t really realize what that connection was or any idea of what it meant. It’s a lot to get used to. Plus, all the rest of the stuff is throwing me off.” I motioned down to the food. “Like this. I have to eat a shit-ton just to stay in control.”

  “It’ll get better.”

  I snorted. “That’s what everyone keeps saying.”

  “They’re saying it because it’s true.”

  I knew it would, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be more than a few bumps in the road. Things were better with Dastien, but he’d mess up and I’d mess up as we figured it out. Once word got around, it’d be hell to pay with Shannon and Imogene. And that didn’t even begin to count the whole vampire thing. And Mr. Hoel thing.

  Oh and the whole turning furry thing. Christ. How had I forgotten that part?

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  The boys joined us for dinner after they cleaned the gym. As soon as they sat, Imogene strutted into the cafeteria. She smirked at me and stopped behind Dastien.

  My temper flared to life. I wanted her away from him. Now.

  She ran her fingers through his hair and leaned down between Dastien and I. “I thought we were meeting outside?”

  My trust in Dastien was still extremely fragile and she was trying to break that. I knew she was trying to get me to react, but I couldn’t stop the growl that escaped from me. For some reason, I didn’t care when my hands started changing.

  Dastien pushed her away, and leaned into me until our noses were touching. He gently placed a hand on each of my cheeks as his eyes started to glow. “Shhhh,” he said.

  Waves o
f power ran through me. My muscles turned to mush and whatever was rising up inside of me laid down.

  “Okay?” His face still close to mine, close enough to kiss.

  A silly grin spread across my face. Like he was reading my mind, he leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. I waited to see what his mind would show me, craved to know what was going on beneath the surface, but got nothing. My whole body tingled as he pulled away from me. He didn’t get very far, since I was clutching his shirt in my hand.

  He laughed, and pulled me to sit across his lap. “Better?”

  “I’m not going furry.” My words slurred together. “It’s totally better.”

  Imogene snarled. She grabbed the table and flipped it into the air. Dastien stood quickly and blocked me from the flying debris. Chairs screeched across the floor as people dodged the table.

  Luckily no one was sitting where it crashed. The force broke our table in two and chairs scattered across the linoleum.

  When the din faded from my ears, Dastien stood between me and Imogene. “I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you, however unintentionally, but this is getting silly, Imogene.”

  “I’m sorry. You’re my oldest friend. My best friend.” She looked at the ground. “I apologize.”

  “It’s not me you need to apologize to.”

  Her gaze met his again, but she shook her head. She kicked chairs from her path as she stormed out of the cafeteria.

  I slumped into Dastien. He wrapped an arm around my waist and looked down at me. His smile made me giggle. It was the same one from the night of the party—the one I hadn’t seen since I woke at St. Ailbe’s. It made him deadly gorgeous. I reached up to touch his face.

  Meredith grabbed my arm and pulled me away from him. “Maybe a little less intense on the shushing next time. You’ve turned the poor girl to pudding.”

  I whined as she tugged me away from Dastien.

  “Come on, Tess,” she said. “Everyone’s going to be coming in here soon for a pre-sundown dinner. We should get out of here before people see the mess and start hounding you. Plus, I think you could use a cold shower.”

  I stared back at Dastien as she dragged me out the cafeteria doors. He bent over, picking up pieces of the table. The only thing I knew about him was that we had the same odd taste in music and that his butt looked really awesome in those jeans. There was so much I didn’t know about him. And I really wanted to know everything.

  As if he could feel me staring, he looked at me and winked.

  “Get me out of here before I do something really embarrassing,” I said.

  When we got back to the dorm, Meredith did as she promised and shoved me fully dressed into an ice cold shower. I screeched as the water came down and jumped out of the way.

  “What the hell was that for?”

  “You actually let me put you in the shower. That should tell you something about how you were acting.”

  I turned the hot water on full blast and closed the shower curtain. “It was like my brain capacity went from smartish to total dimwit in five seconds flat.”

  “You can thank Dastien for that. He over did it on calming your wolf. I hear it’s like being drunk.”

  “Remind me to never get drunk.” I shed my soaked clothes and stepped into the now steaming spray. My mind and body were out of my control. That was enough to chill me to the core.

  ***

  Friday I woke up completely groggy. The sirens had gone off nearly every hour. I desperately wanted to look out the window, but we were under strict orders not to look. Plus, I wasn’t going for a repeat, but worry for Dastien kept me up most of the night.

  I probably should’ve known something was up when I saw Mr. Hoel at breakfast in the morning, but ignorance was bliss. He was the President of the Board and, as such, had decided that all us youngins needed a three-hour lecture about the situation on campus as it were.

  There were more than a few nasty looks shot my way when news hit in my first period class. It seemed like he was using my example of getting snatched from the dorm for his talk. It was going to eat up everyone’s—except for the Freshmens’—martial arts class. With vampires close by, that was the last class that anyone wanted to skip. Even for a day.

  I was with them on that, but I didn’t mind skipping Were history, which was kind of interesting-ish, or metaphysics, which seemed like a load of hogwash. This week’s metaphysics lessons comprised trying to make magic have a scientific edge. I wasn’t sure that any amount of rhetoric would convince me chemistry and spells were synonymous.

  After lunch, we all piled into the gym. Folding chairs had been lined up and a podium sat in the front of them. I hadn’t been in a room—other than the cafeteria—with the whole school before. Spread out across the cafeteria I didn’t get much of a sense at how many people actually went to the school, but all in this room it felt both bigger and smaller. Smaller because of the number of people—there couldn’t be much more than a couple hundred of us. And bigger because all the energy of the pack together made it feel like there were well over a thousand in the room.

  Mr. Dawson, Sebastian, Donovan, and Dastien stood in the back of the room. Dastien and Donovan laughed at something Mr. Dawson said. There was really way too much hotness going on back there. The laughing only made them that much more attractive. Those two really didn’t need the bonus points.

  I found a chair between Meredith and Adrian. Chris was still keeping his distance from me after Dastien’s freakout. I didn’t blame him, but it chafed.

  Once we were all settled, Mr. Dawson walked up and introduced Mr. Hoel. “Rupert Hoel is the head of the school board here at St. Ailbe’s. He wanted to speak to you all about the vampire attacks on the school and the repercussions they could have on student life. I hope you’ll all give him the attention he deserves.”

  I almost laughed. What if I didn’t think he deserved any attention? Did Mr. D just give me leave to ignore the lecture? Nice.

  “Thank you so much, Michael, for that introduction. I hope that in the next three hours you will come to learn a bit about vampires and the vampire threat. We’ll also discuss relations with humans and the future of werewolves in this world. I do hope I have your undivided attention.”

  I snorted, and Mr. Dawson winked at me as he walked back to his spot against the wall.

  The first hour of the lecture was spent talking about vampires and their abilities. Then the plans they had to keep us protected during the night when the vampires would be out.

  But slowly what he was talking about changed. It was little comments here and there sprinkled in, but as I recalled each one, they added up to all the ways that werewolves were the best species on the planet. We had a merciful five-minute break and then it was back to the lecture.

  The second hour turned my stomach. If there was any doubt that I disliked the man, it quickly disappeared. Mr. Hoel droned on about how humans were the weaker species and differences between the two. Throughout the course of that hour, I found myself grinding my teeth.

  I’d heard this before—Caucasians versus African Americans, women versus men—same bullshit arguments. Anything but equality was just a load of crap. It made one half-white, half-Mexican, part-werewolf, part-bruja woman want to scream. I didn’t fit into any nice little box in Los Angeles, and I sure didn’t fit into any of Mr. Hoel’s boxes now that I added a hefty dose of werewolf into the mix. I had a good feeling that I was a “lesser citizen” in his eyes. Mustering up the ability to give a shit about that was exceedingly hard. This was some Hilter youth bullshit that Mr. Hoel was trying to pull, and I sincerely hoped I wasn’t the only one seeing through his line of crap.

  The third hour was brutal. Halfway though I was jonesing to hit something. Or maybe just a specific someone. Too many of my classmates were nodding or clapping to his conclusions. Didn’t they see how wrong this was?

  When the time came for questions, I made sure mine was the first hand up.

  I stood from my chair when he n
odded at me. “I get that going to school here means that I have to listen to you wax poetically about how much better werewolves are than humans, but don’t you think that you’re being a little racist? Or maybe more appropriately species-ist? And what good would it do to really show up the humans? You want to start a species war in a world that is already ravaged by injustice. You talk about honor among wolves, but I don’t see any honor in what you’re implying.”

  I expected the open mouths and gasps from my classmates, but what I didn’t expect was the clapping and cheering from the back of the room. I pulled out the sides of my invisible skirt and curtseyed before sitting down.

  “I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” Mr. Hoel said. His words were clipped. “A former human would have little hope of grasping at the complexities of what we covered today and will cover in any future lectures.”

  I cleared my throat. “It’s a good thing that being new isn’t the same thing as being ignorant. I’m grasping your complexities quite well, I just happen to vehemently disagree with them. And I have to say your vitriol on the human condition really gets under my skin.”

  “I don’t understand—”

  “What? Were my words too big for you? Which ones, and I’ll try to explain.”

  Meredith elbowed me. “Oh my God! Stop,” she mumbled.

  Mr. Hoel strode down the aisle toward me, but Mr. Dawson stepped between us. “Class dismissed. Everyone clear out.” Mr. Dawson’s order echoed in the silent gym. I wanted to stay and argue with the ignoramus but Adrian grabbed one arm and Meredith the other. They dragged me out of the gym.

  “Do you have a death wish?” Meredith whispered. “You already know the Hoels have it out for you. Why’d you do that?”

  I shrugged out of their grasp and continued walking to our dorm. “No one was contradicting him. I couldn’t just sit there and let him think that we all agreed with that bullshit.”

  “Well, it was dumb,” Adrian said. “He’s a powerful enemy for anyone to have, but especially so for a recently bitten girl.”

  “Standing up against prejudice is never ever dumb.”

  He sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”