The Shadows Trilogy Box Set: A Christian Romance

by Juliette Duncan

  Hilary Carter greeted her with a warm kiss, and directed her to the table.

  Lizzy relaxed and smiled at her. She took a seat beside Mathew, and reached for his hand, her heart beating faster as their hands joined. Hilary offered her tea and freshly cooked scones, and asked how her trip had been. Lizzy could see where Mathew’s temperament had come from. A dainty, quiet, and particular lady, but also serious and perceptive. Lizzy felt scrutinized.

  “How long have you lived here, Mrs Carter? It’s a lovely home.” Lizzy’s heart fluttered as Mathew squeezed her hand.

  “Since my wedding day. Thirty-three years next month,” Mrs Carter replied wistfully, glancing at the photo taking pride of place on the wall directly opposite the kitchen.

  “Let me show you to your room, dear.”

  Lizzy followed her up the stairs, with Mathew trailing behind. The room was tiny, and so close to Mathew’s. She sighed in frustration. It wouldn’t be a problem. They rarely got any further than holding hands.

  The week passed all too quickly. Every morning they ate their breakfast at the small round kitchen table. No radio. No television. No children. Occasionally she caught Mathew’s eyes, and her heart exploded with love for him. Sometimes their legs touched under the table, but she was unaware of his mother noticing any of this.

  They spent the week wandering around the harbour, discovering hidden coves and all sorts of remnants left over from the war. They read, talked, played games, and occasionally watched television.

  But it was the memory of their last night together that brought tears to her eyes.

  “Come on Lizzy, let’s go for a walk.” Mathew stood suddenly and grabbed her hand after dinner that night. She looked at him quizzically, and jumped up and followed him to the door. “Won’t be long, Mum,” he called out to Hilary in the back of the house.

  “This is unexpected, but nice!” Lizzy snuggled closer as they strolled arm in arm along the street. The night air carried a slight chill, a wonderful excuse to cling to him.

  They reached the park running along the water within minutes. The Gosport ferry’s horn blasted into the night air not far away. Such a busy harbour. The old street lamps shed just enough light on the pathway, and cast strange shadows either side. Lizzy thought they’d head towards the main harbour area, but Mathew led her the other way along a path meandering through garden beds filled with perfumed roses and summer annuals. The heady smell assaulted her senses and made her think how nice it would be if he would only stop and kiss her. As she snuggled closer, his arm tightened around her and she breathed in his manly scent. Drawn by the mesmerizing sound of splashing water, they strolled towards the central fountain.

  Taking a seat near the fountain, Mathew placed his arm around Lizzy and she rested her head on his shoulder.

  “I know this week’s been difficult for you, Lizzy.” Mathew reached out and gently lifted her face. His lips were so close she could taste his sweet breath. Her heart pounded.

  “I’m going to miss you, Elizabeth Smythe.” His sparkling eyes looked deeply into hers as he traced her face with the tip of his finger. Her heart beat even faster as he lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers.

  “Lizzy,” he whispered as he held her face in his hands and kissed her gently.

  If only this moment would last forever.

  Sunlight filtering through the flimsy curtains woke Lizzy the following morning. She opened her eyes just enough to see Daniel sleeping beside her, and then curled her body into the fetal position and squeezed her eyes closed again.

  Their honeymoon was over.

  Tears rolled down her cheeks onto her pillow. Drat you, Mathew. Why did you break it off? Daniel grunted and rolled over. Lizzy turned her head and looked at him. If only it was Mathew lying there instead of Daniel. More tears trickled down her cheek. She wiped them away. But it wasn’t Mathew she’d married. It was Daniel. A sudden wave of nausea hit her and she threw off the bed covers and raced for the bathroom. For a moment she’d forgotten she was pregnant.

  When Lizzy returned to the bedroom, Daniel was leaning against the pillows. Considering the state he’d been in when he arrived home, she was surprised he didn’t look worse. His hair was rumpled, and his eyes were bleary, but other than that, he didn’t look much different to any other morning.

  Lizzy stood in the doorway with arms folded, and glared at him.

  “Well?” She broke the silence.

  “I’m sorry Liz. I only meant to have a couple. I just got carried away.” He tilted his head and reached his arms out. “Come and give me a cuddle.”

  Still upset, she wasn’t prepared to forgive him that quickly.

  “Was it the phone call that did it?” Lizzy’s eyes narrowed.

  He shrugged and breathed deeply, shaking his head.

  “I don’t know, Liz.” He looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Come here, sweet girl. I’m sorry.”

  Lizzy pursed her lips and sighed before climbing back into bed with him. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her neck. He lifted his face and looked her in the eye. “I really am sorry, Elizabeth. Will you forgive me?”

  He looked sincere. Maybe she could forgive and forget this one time. She nodded and snuggled in close, but chastised herself for letting him off so lightly.

  As they lay satisfied in each other’s arms a little later, Lizzy sat suddenly and wrapped the covers around her.

  “Daniel. I need to tell you something.”

  “What is it, sweetie?” He sat up and looked at her with concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

  Lizzy looked into his eyes and nodded, her face alight. “I’ve just been a little sick in the mornings. You might have noticed?”

  He shook his head, but then his eyes widened.

  “You’re not…?”

  She nodded her head and grinned, but she was unsure of his reaction.

  “God be with us! I’m going to be a father! Come here you little beauty. Oh you precious thing.” As she rested her head on his shoulder, tears welled in her eyes. Perhaps if I’d told him last night, he wouldn’t have been so rough…

  Lizzy watched in amazement as Daniel ran around and did everything. He made her rest while he cleaned the apartment. He made her cups of tea, and he even made dinner. Well, he didn’t actually make it. He re-heated the dinner she’d cooked the previous evening. She lay on the couch reading a magazine, watching him out of the corner of her eye buzz around like an excited child. It was a strange but pleasant sight, and love for him smouldered and took root in her heart.

  What a difference the news of their impending parenthood had made. At least for now, her parent’s visit had faded into the background.

  “I’ll be able to teach him to ride a bike! I can take him fishing. I’ll be able to play football with him. Oh, Lizzy, this is the best news yet!” It went on like that for the whole weekend.

  Then Monday came. Most days, Daniel dropped Lizzy at work and picked her up in the afternoon. She always had plenty to do in the classroom, and so was never too worried if he was a few minutes late. That Monday afternoon, she glanced at the clock and expected him to be there at any minute. She wanted to finish her planning for the next day, so she focused on what she was doing, trying to get it done before he arrived. The next time she looked at the clock, another hour had passed.

  Lizzy stood and looked out the window. Neither Daniel nor the car were in sight. She packed up anyway. As she walked the short distance to the car park, she shivered and put on her jacket. Taking a seat on the brick retaining wall surrounding the car park, Lizzy checked her watch and looked out onto the road. All of a sudden her hands felt clammy. What if he’s had an accident?

  She stood and ran closer to the road. The cars were almost at a stand-still in the rush hour traffic. Lizzy peered both ways. He usually came from the left, but the white Ford Escort wasn’t amongst the cars trundling along in either direction. Maybe she should call the hospital? The phone box was just over the road. She took a
deep breath to calm herself down. Just about to cross the road, her hand flew to her chest and she breathed a sigh of relief as the Escort came into sight.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie, I lost track of time.” Daniel reached over and opened the door for her.

  Lizzy climbed in and looked at him. “You’ve been drinking.” The relief she’d felt a moment earlier instantly disappeared.

  He feigned a sad look and his cheeky eyes almost made her forget how annoyed she was. But it didn’t work. Lizzy shook her head and narrowed her eyes. The memory of him coming home drunk just the other night was too fresh in her mind to allow her to forget that easily.

  “The boys shouted me a few when they found out I was going to be a dad. That’s all. Don’t be angry, Lizzy love.” He reached out and squeezed her leg.

  “You’d better let me drive.” She climbed out and strode around to the driver’s side and opened the door. “Come on, Daniel… You’re not driving like that. Get out.”

  “I do love you when you’re angry, Lizzy.” He planted a wet kiss on her cheek as he brushed past her.

  She shook her head and climbed into the driver’s seat. She was tempted to drive off without him. Her hands clenched the steering wheel as she entered the long line of traffic. She shot him a glance and gripped the wheel tighter. “I hope this isn’t going to happen every day, Daniel.”

  He reached out his hand and placed it on her leg. “No Lizzy. It was just a one-off. I won’t do it again.” He squeezed her leg. She glanced at him again. The cheeky grin on his face made her think she was married to a naughty child.

  Chapter Six

  Only it did happen every day. Lizzy grew angrier as Daniel returned later and later as the week progressed. The prospect of her parent’s visit weighed heavily on her mind, and she guessed it weighed on Daniel’s as well. Talking about it was impossible given his state of inebriation every night, and every morning they were in a hurry, and so it never happened.

  Six pm Friday evening, she gave up waiting and called a taxi.

  Home alone, Lizzy heated a can of spaghetti for dinner. She didn’t feel like anything at all, but she had to eat something for the sake of the baby. She took her plate and sat on the couch, put her feet up and flicked on the television. A tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at the screen.

  How could she sit with her parents in the restaurant of the Grand Hotel tomorrow lunchtime, and convince them she’d made the right decision, when she herself was not convinced? Would Daniel even turn up? She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. Maybe it’d be for the best if he didn’t come. That way, she could put off telling them.

  She put her bowl of hardly touched spaghetti on the side table and then slumped against the cushions. Was that a coward’s way out? Probably. But right then, she didn’t care.

  Daniel sat at the bar, cigarette in one hand, a pint in the other. He’d lost count of how many he’d had, and now he didn’t care. At one stage, Johnno had encouraged him to go home, but Daniel shook his head and told him he couldn’t do it.

  “I can’t go, Johnny, I just can’t. I’m no good for her…” His voice was slurred and his eyes had glazed over. Hunched over his drink, he almost fell off the stool.

  “Come over here, then.” He looked up as Johnno helped him off the stool and into an alcove.

  “What will you tell her?”

  Daniel pulled out another cigarette but struggled with his lighter.

  “Here, let me help.”

  Daniel leaned forward and allowed Johnno to light it for him before taking a long drag.

  “Dunno mate. But she’ll probably throw me out.”

  Lizzy hardly slept, drifting in and out of conscious thought and desperate pleas to God. Her anger grew. Anger with herself. With Daniel. With her parents. The very thought of her parents caused heart palpitations. She didn’t want to see them.

  Sleep must have come at some stage, as daylight peeping through the curtains woke her. Pulling herself up, she looked around. No sign of Daniel. It was cold and empty without him. Where was he? Where had he slept? Was he okay?

  She picked up her spaghetti bowl and placed it in the sink. As she stood gazing out the window, she caressed the small baby bump that had recently appeared and breathed in slowly.

  The colourful spring blooms in the garden below caught her eye. Her mother’s garden would be in full bloom right now. The garden she loved playing in as a child. Her mother’s pride and joy - an award winning garden overflowing with colour and design. A young girl in hot pink lycra jogged past, catching her attention. An elderly couple out for a morning stroll with their equally old overweight labrador made her smile.

  Then her gaze was drawn to the spot where hers and Daniel’s Ford Escort was normally parked. The spot was empty. She closed her eyes and gripped the bench. God, I need you today. I know I don’t deserve your help, but please help me.

  She turned around and walked to the shower.

  Lizzy was relieved that Daniel hadn’t returned before she left. It made it easier. She dressed herself in a skirt and blouse her parents would approve of, rather than the hippy type clothes they abhorred but she preferred. The little baby bump was hidden, and she hoped she’d put on enough make-up to complete the facade. She glanced at herself in the full length mirror in her bedroom, and was pleased with the transition from Lizzy O’Connor to Elizabeth Walton-Smythe. Before she left, she removed her wedding ring and placed it on her dresser.

  She checked her watch and called a taxi. Her heart pounded as it pulled up outside the Grand Hotel. She paid the taxi driver, climbed out, and stood on the pavement. How she wished she was anywhere but here at this very moment. But she had no choice, so she steeled herself and walked towards the entrance of the hotel where she’d agreed to meet them at midday.

  It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting inside, but it didn’t take her long to find Roger and Gwyneth Walton-Smythe. Seated in overstuffed arm chairs that looked like they’d been there since the hotel opened two hundred years before, her mother’s back was rod straight as always, and her father looked every inch the country gentleman in his tweed jacket and highly polished brown leather slip-ons.

  She tightened her grip on her handbag and clenched her teeth before stepping forward to join them.

  “Mother, Father.” She stood before them, her eyes steady and her face expressionless.

  “Elizabeth. There you are!” Gwyneth Walton-Smythe stood and smiled warmly at her daughter. She held out her hands. Lizzy took them and then leaned forward, placing a kiss on her mother’s cheek.

  Her father had also risen. Lizzy, aware of his eyes on her, turned and looked at him. “Good afternoon, Father.”

  “Good afternoon, Elizabeth.” He nodded at her, but with no welcoming arms, she merely returned his nod.

  “I see you’re on your own,” her mother said. “We had expected to see Daniel with you, from what you said on the telephone.”

  “Daniel couldn’t make it. He sends his apologies.”

  “That’s very good news, Elizabeth. I have no desire ever to see that young man again,” her father said. “Let’s find our table, shall we?”

  He called a waiter, who led them to their table in the restaurant. It was all so formal. Daniel would have been out of his comfort zone here. Just as well he hadn’t come. The waiter removed the fourth place setting, and took their orders.

  The silence was uncomfortable. It had been over four months since ‘that’ day. Their telephone conversations during that time had been civil, but now face to face, Lizzy was tempted to speak her mind. But no. She had to maintain the facade for now. It also wouldn’t be proper to make a scene here.

  “What are you going to Edinburgh for?” she asked instead.

  “Your father has some business dealings to attend to, and I thought I would go along for the trip,” her mother replied. “It’s been a long time since we visited Edinburgh, or been away together, for that matter. We’re looking forward to it, aren�
�t we, Roger?” Gwyneth reached out and touched Roger’s arm lightly, her eyes seeking his.

  Lizzy tilted her head, slightly puzzled. What had she seen in her mother’s eyes? Could it be longing?

  “Yes. It’s a lovely old city, Edinburgh.” Roger sipped his wine and looked Lizzy in the eye. “And you, Elizabeth. What are you doing with your life? I believe you’re still cohorting with that good for nothing Irishman?”

  His eye was cold and piercing, but Lizzy held it for as long as she could. “Yes, Father, Daniel and I are still seeing each other. I’m old enough to make my own decisions as to who I see and associate with. If I choose to ‘cohort’ with Daniel, you will just have to accept that.” Her heart pounded in her chest, and she couldn’t believe she’d just said that, but it gave her strength to continue.

  “You’re wasting your life with him, Elizabeth. You could have done so well for yourself. Terence Allsopp still asks after you. He’d marry you tomorrow, I’m sure.”

  “I’m not interested in Terence Allsopp or any other high-browed son of the well-to-do, Father. You know that.” Lizzy’s muscles tensed, and she fought hard to control her anger.

  “Be it on your own head, then, is all I’ll say. I don’t know what you see in him.”

  Lizzy held her retort as the waiter arrived with their meals. Her mother had ordered fish, and the smell of it immediately made her nauseous. She took a sip of her water. Oh God, please help me control this. She herself had ordered the simplest, most blandest item on the menu. A chicken sandwich.

  “Aren’t you hungry, Elizabeth?” her mother asked a few minutes later. Lizzy’s sandwich lay there, barely touched.

  “Please excuse me,” she said as she stood. She placed her napkin neatly on the table, and then walked briskly to the bathroom, hoping she’d make it.