Daniel leaned closer to Caleb. “Who are all the people?”
Caleb’s eyes twinkled. “All Da’s friends from the centre. Patients and workers. Left his mark on them all, so it seems.”
Daniel shook his head and chuckled once again. If only he’d had the chance to get to know Da sooner. But would he have made the trip earlier? Probably not.
Daniel leaned closer again and raised his eyebrows. “Grace?”
Caleb shook his head, his shoulders drooping. Aislin and Alana and their partners sat to the right, and Daniel nodded and smiled when he caught their eyes. Should get to know them. They were his sisters too, after all. Beside them, another man sat. Muscle upon muscle bulged in his folded arms, almost splitting his tight fitting shirt. A spark of recognition flickered in Daniel’s mind. Brendan? Caleb nodded. “They let him out for the funeral.”
Daniel turned and faced the front, inhaling slowly. If only Grace was here.
Grace paused outside the chapel. She pulled her cigarette case out of her bag and lit up. She didn’t smoke often, but she needed one now. Her hands shook as she took a deep drag. It’s not too late to get out of here. No-one had seen her. Lizzy’s words at dinner last night played over in her mind; ‘You’ll only get one chance, Grace. Think about it?’ One chance… She’d missed the chance to see Da alive. Could she miss the chance to farewell him in death and live with the guilt for the rest of her life? Even if she held no love for Da whatsoever? No, I need to be here.
She took a few quick drags and then ground the cigarette out with the toe of her stiletto, straightened her snugly fitting mid length black dress, and tip-toed into the tiny chapel, taking a seat at the very back just as the minister stood to begin the service. She sat low in the seat to avoid being seen.
The number of mourners was surprising. Were these all Da’s friends? Surely not. They all looked normal, not the drunkards she remembered him cohorting with. The minister, wearing the Salvation Army uniform, had a warm and engaging manner. He welcomed everyone, and then prayed. How long had it been since Grace had bowed her head in prayer? Mam used to make them pray every night at the dinner table. As did Aunt Hilda. But Grace had only bowed her head then because she had to. The day Mam’s body had been lowered into the ground was the day Grace told God she’d never talk to him ever again. And she hadn’t.
Hearing the minister talk about Da was like hearing him talk about someone else. She didn’t know the person he referred to. Kind, funny, caring? Not the Da she knew. And the stream of people who got up and spoke lovingly about him, saying they’d miss his kind words and encouraging ways. An inspiration. What? Da? An inspiration? Am I even at the right funeral?
Caleb stood and faced the gathering. His hands shook, and he blinked rapidly. He cleared his throat and seemed to settle.
“Thank you all for coming today to farewell Thomas Rory O’Connor, Da.” His gaze for a moment settled on Daniel, Aislin, Alana and no, don’t tell me, is that Brendan? How did he get out?
Grace wriggled uncomfortably in her seat.
Caleb returned his attention to the mourners. “Thomas, Da, found the Lord just under a year ago, thanks to some of you here who didn’t give up on him.” Caleb paused and inhaled deeply, his eyes blinking rapidly. He took another deep breath. “For your commitment and dedication to our Da’s spiritual and physical welfare, my family and I are truly grateful.” Caleb looked around, his eyes soft but steady.
“Da wasn’t an easy man to live with in his younger years, as most of you know. He didn’t hold back in telling people what a terrible father and husband he’d been, and how he regretted not ‘seeing the light’ earlier. He’s an amazing testimony to the power of God to change people, regardless of their pasts, making them clean and new on the inside. A pity his body let him down in the end, but he accepted that the choices he made as a young man resulted in that, and was prepared to accept the consequences. He knew where he was going, and Da,” Caleb glanced upwards, “I know you’re probably up there looking down on us and having a good ol’ chuckle, but we’re going to miss you. We’re proud of the man you became, and we just want to say we love you.”
Caleb’s voice caught, and tears streamed down his face. Daniel rose and stood beside him, placing his hand on Caleb’s shoulder.
Grace fought back tears of her own and had trouble breathing. This wasn’t expected. She swallowed hard, pushing the lump in her throat away. Her stomach churned. Should have seen Da when he was alive. Now I’ll never have the chance. She pulled a tissue out of her bag and wiped her eyes. This is stupid. I hate the man.
Despite hearing all the testimonies of what Da had been like in the last year of his life, Grace still couldn’t accept he’d changed that much. It just wasn’t possible. Someone who’d been as despicable as he’d been didn’t change overnight. They didn’t know what they were talking about. She grabbed her bag and started to stand, but something held her back. The organist began playing a hymn, and the melody tugged at Grace’s heart. She’d heard it before. Mam used to hum it as she sat by the kids’ beds waiting for them to fall asleep.
‘The Lord’s my shepherd, I’ll not want;
He makes me down to lie
In pastures green; He leadeth me
The quiet waters by.’
Grace stood and listened. She tried to join in, but the words caught in her throat. The emotion of the moment. Nothing else to it. But as much as she wanted to leave, her feet wouldn’t budge.
Daniel lifted his end of the coffin and placed it carefully on his left shoulder. He steeled himself. This wasn’t going to be easy. The burden on his shoulder was nothing compared to the burden in his heart.
The organ began playing ‘Blessed Assurance’ as the three brothers and the minister carried Da slowly towards the hearse waiting outside.
Daniel caught Lizzy’s eye, and a hard lump formed in his throat. He swallowed, forcing it down. He stared ahead, but a figure standing at the back caught his eye … Grace? Can’t be… His pulse quickened. Had she come after all? He looked more closely. Yes, it’s Grace. Daniel’s heart soared. Thank you, thank you, God. Grace lowered her eyes, but not quickly enough. He held her gaze for just a moment. She’d been crying.
Daniel hoped Lizzy would notice Grace. There was nothing he could do, but he prayed Grace would stay.
The short walk to the door through the group of mourners and out to the hearse was the hardest walk Daniel had ever made. Despite the sorrow of the moment, he knew Da wasn’t in the coffin. Sure, his body lay there, but his spirit was elsewhere. Da lived on, but with a new body, in a new home. As the coffin was lowered into the hearse, God’s peace settled in Daniel’s heart. Da was safe and secure in the Saviour’s arms, of that he was sure. Thank you, blessed God.
With the coffin in place, Daniel turned and searched the crowd for Grace. His heart lifted as he saw her standing with Lizzy. Leaving Caleb and Brendan, he made his way through the gathering towards Grace and Lizzy. He couldn’t believe Grace had actually come. An answer to prayer. Another one.
“Grace, so glad you came.” Daniel placed a kiss on her cheek and hugged her tightly. Grace clung to him. God was doing a work in her life, of that he was sure.
She finally pulled away. Lizzy offered her a tissue and Grace wiped her face and blew her nose. Her mascara had run a little and her eyes were puffy and red.
“I’m sorry,” she said, dabbing her eyes.
Daniel squeezed her hand. “It doesn’t matter. Are you okay?”
Grace blew her nose.
“Think so.” She breathed deeply and straightened herself. In her stilettos, she stood eye to eye with Daniel.
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
“Hadn’t planned on it.” She rolled her eyes. “Conscience got to me.”
“Glad it did, Grace. Glad it did.” Daniel smiled at her warmly. “Will you come to the burial? Be special if you did.”
“Don’t know. Give me a minute to think.”
“No prob
lem, Grace. There’s no hurry.”
Grace gave him a weak smile, and then turned to Caitlin and Caleb who’d just joined them.
Daniel took Lizzy’s hand and stood to the side. He needed a moment to gather himself. Grace turning up had thrown him. But he was so glad she’d come. God really was doing something in her life. But he had to tread carefully. No pushing. If she didn’t want to come to the burial, he’d have to let it be. But God, please let her…
“You okay, Daniel?” Lizzy peered up at him, concern filling her eyes.
“Yes, my love. A little overwhelmed, that’s all.” Slipping his arm around her waist, he pulled her close and thanked God once again for bringing Lizzy into his life. She’d become his soul mate. His best friend, and he couldn’t live without her. Strange how a funeral brings clarity to everything. Makes you evaluate your own life choices, and as a result, makes you appreciate those most important to you.
Daniel leaned back and studied her. How he loved this woman God had brought into his life. He loved the way she supported and encouraged him and never gave up on him. Sometimes she got a little impatient, but he loved that she cared enough to want the best for him. His heart overflowed with love for her.
“What are you thinking, Daniel?” Lizzy tilted her head slightly, a bemused look on her face.
Daniel chuckled. He’d been caught out, but he didn’t care. He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger.
“Lizzy, I don’t say this often enough, but I love you.”
A small smile came to Lizzy’s face and her eyes glistened. “And I love you too, Daniel O’Connor. And I couldn’t be prouder of you than I am at this minute.”
Leaning forward, Lizzy kissed him gently. He returned her kiss and draped his arm around her shoulder before rejoining the others.
The group had grown in size, with Aislin, Alana and their partners joining Caleb, Caitlin and Grace, as well as Brendan and aunts and uncles Daniel hadn’t seen for a long time. Daniel stood and listened. These were his family, his roots, but as much as he now realised he loved them, his future rested with the woman beside him. Something stirred deep inside him. He didn’t know what they were, but he was impatient to find out what plans God had for their lives. But right now, Da had to be buried.
Daniel moved closer to Grace and gently placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Coming?”
Grace lifted her eyes and nodded.
“I’m glad.” Daniel’s chest expanded and he smiled broadly.
The small procession of cars followed the hearse to Da’s final resting place. The family had debated whether Da should be buried next to Mam or not. In the end they’d agreed he should. “Mam never stopped praying for him,” Caleb had said. “She loved him, despite all he did to her. I think she’d want him laid to rest beside her.”
Not that it really mattered. It was only his body, but to the family left behind, at least they could now remember both parents together.
The grave had been dug the day before, and the rich earthy smell lingered in the air. As Daniel and the other men lowered Da’s coffin slowly into the ground, the group began to sing ‘Amazing Grace’. Daniel’s heart was heavy, but as he joined hands with Lizzy and Grace, the heaviness was replaced with God’s peace.
He closed his eyes as the minister gave the final blessing, and squeezing Grace’s hand, prayed God would touch her heart.
“In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother Thomas, and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face to shine upon him and be gracious unto him, the Lord lift up His countenance upon him and give him peace. Amen.”
Caleb threw the first shovel of earth onto Da’s coffin, the thud echoing in Daniel’s heart. Daniel followed. Grace bent down and picked up a handful of earth, and threw it onto the coffin. Tears streamed down her face. Daniel wrapped his arms around Grace and comforted her.
“He’s gone to be with the Lord,” Daniel whispered as he stroked her hair. Lord, please let this be a defining moment for Grace.
The group held hands and sang another hymn before the minister said the closing prayer. It was over. It felt strange. Da was buried. His body was gone, and he would now live on in memory only. Daniel was so glad he’d had the opportunity to speak with Da before he died, and to witness the new life God had breathed into his soul. God may not have healed his body, but he’d done better than that. He’d given him new life. Life that would go on for eternity. No-one could want more than that.
Lizzy slipped her arm around Daniel’s waist, and he pulled her close. The two most precious women in his life, wrapped tightly in his arms. What a blessed man he was.
The sound of cars starting up interrupted the moment. Life would go on.
As he walked slowly back towards the waiting cars, Daniel turned his head and looked to his right. Somewhere over there, Ciara and baby Rachel were buried. Another life, another story. Sorrow for all that had happened tugged at his heart, but God had forgiven him and allowed him to move on. He should have supported Ciara in her grief, not deserted her. What a despicable person I was. But he’d been young and ignorant. He didn’t know how to cope with his own grief, let alone help her. He could allow the sorrow he felt now over what happened to overwhelm him. But it truly was in the past, and nothing he could do now would change it.
“Do you want to go there?” Lizzy asked quietly.
How does she know? She never ceases to amaze me. Daniel took a deep slow breath.
“No, I don’t. They’re my past, Lizzy. I want to move on. With you.” He squeezed her hand and gave her a look that contained all the love God had poured into his heart for her.
Several days later, as Daniel and Lizzy stood leaning on the railings at the stern of the ship heading back to Liverpool, Daniel was deep in thought. He’d become a lot more introspective of late. Maybe it was God’s way of talking to him, because he often had thoughts floating through his mind that could only have come from God. But right now, his thoughts were on Lizzy and their future together. He was sure God had something special planned for them, but didn’t know what. But he needed to know one thing.
“Lizzy, do you ever regret not having a proper wedding?”
Lizzy spun around, startled.
“What made you ask that?”
“Not sure, really. I was just thinking about all we’ve been through.” He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist, gazing into her curious eyes. “The way we got married without your parents knowing, the way I treated you so badly, and how thankful I was when you came back and led me to the Lord.” He lifted a hand to her face and gently brushed back a lock of hair. “Don’t most girls dream of a big wedding? I know you turned your father’s offer down, but I sometimes wonder if you’re sad about missing out on all that.” Daniel tilted his head slightly, his eyes full of love and concern. “Are you?”
Lizzy grinned, letting out a small laugh. “I guess you’re right. Most girls do dream of a fairy tale wedding, but you know, it really is just one day. To be honest, I guess sometimes I do feel a little sad, but it’s not the fairy tale wedding with all the trimmings that makes a marriage work. It’s what comes after that’s more important.”
“Would you like to have one, anyway? I can sort something if you do.”
Lizzy laughed and hit him playfully. “Don’t be silly, Daniel. It’s too late for all that, and I really don’t care that much.” Turning serious, Lizzy continued. “But I would like to renew our vows before God one day soon.”
“That’s a grand idea, Lizzy.” Daniel flashed a brilliant smile. “Let’s do it now!”
“Now! What do you mean?”
“Like right here, right now. God’s here with us. We don’t need anyone else to be present. Just you, me, God,” Daniel looked down, “and baby Dillon.”
Lizzy’s eyes twinkled and her grin bro
adened into a full blown smile. “Okay, let’s do it.”
Daniel took both of Lizzy’s hands and squeezed them, his eyes settling on hers. He took a deep breath.
“Elizabeth, Lizzy, before God our Father, who brought us together and gave us the gift of love, I promise to be faithful to you and to love and cherish you as long as we both shall live. Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, nurturing you, and being there for you in all God has in store for us.”
Daniel leaned forward and kissed Lizzy gently on the lips.
Lizzy wiped her tears and took Daniel’s hands in hers. “Have you been practicing that?” She let out a small laugh.
“Maybe…” He grinned at her mischievously.
Lizzy straightened herself and inhaled slowly. “Okay, it’s my turn.”
“Daniel O’Connor, with God as my witness, I promise to love and cherish you forever. I look forward to dancing with you in times of joy, to lifting you up in times of sadness, to rejoicing with you in times of good health, and to caring for you in times of illness. I promise to turn to you for comfort, for encouragement, and for inspiration. I love you and I know that this love is from God. I’ll thank Him every day for bringing you into my life.”
Lizzy squeezed Daniel’s hands and held his unwavering gaze before kissing him.
Daniel leaned down and lifted Dillon out of his push chair. Lizzy placed her hand on Dillon’s head as Daniel cradled him in his arms.
“And Lord God, we thank You for entrusting Dillon, this precious little boy, into our care. Together, Lizzy and I promise to make our home a place where he’ll feel safe and loved, and where he’ll grow up learning Your ways. Give us wisdom to raise Dillon the way You would have us, to be an example to him of godly love. Let him grow to love You, and may he discover the joy of Your presence in his life. We dedicate him to You now, Lord God. Bless his wee little life, we pray. Amen.”
The Shadows Trilogy Box Set: A Christian Romance Page 37
