Secrets of the Heart

by Vickie McDonough

  “I—I can’t. You don’t understand how things are with us. Jamie and I are close. All our lives our father pounded into us that next to God, family is most important.”

  Hannah felt her heart shrivel as he recited the very words on her sampler—words she’d heard his father say.

  “My father’s brother nearly destroyed the whole family with his hate and vendetta to obliterate all that my father loved. I won’t be like my uncle and cause a rift in my family—not even for you, angel. I can’t do it.”

  The tiny spark of hope she’d managed to salvage was quickly stamped out. “But you’re willing to destroy what we could have?”

  Cooper looked at her through half-opened eyes. His pain-filled expression resembled someone’s who’d been gut shot. “Hannah, I know I shouldn’t say this, but I’ll always love you. Nothing can destroy that.” He looked away, his lips pressed tightly together, then he shook his head. “I’m sure I’ll never marry, because no woman could ever replace you in my heart.”

  The ache in her heart became a fiery gnawing. “That’s so easy for you to say.” Hannah grabbed Cooper’s upper arms and shook him with all her might. She wasn’t ready to give in yet. “But what about me? You’d let me marry your brother, live in the same house, and sleep under the same roof as you, knowing that it’s you I love and not him? Is that fair to Jamie?”

  He heaved a sigh. “I’m leaving. . .after the wedding.”

  The anguish in his voice cut her to the quick. She couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again—of being the one to drive him away from his close-knit family. “No, Cooper. . .please don’t.” She closed her eyes, utterly miserable, and tightened her grip on his arms to keep from falling from the weight of her despair.

  When she finally reopened them, Hannah saw the tears Cooper had fought so hard against come rolling down his tan cheeks. “You’re right. I can’t stand the thought of you in Jamie’s arms, much less sharing his bed—and me in the adjoining room. It would kill us both. Don’t you see? Leaving is the only way.”

  “We could go away together.”

  “No, angel, I can’t take you from your home—your family. I know how awful that can be. Besides, you know we’d be miserable if we did that.” Cooper closed his eyes and shook his head. The agony on his handsome face ripped Hannah’s heart in two.

  “You know, it’s really odd. Jamie was always the one who had to have his hands in every aspect of the shipping business, just like Father. I loved sailing, but what I’d learned during my years at sea was that I truly loved the land. I went to England to finish my education with the idea of coming back to the plantation and improving its output—of trying new things. Jamie prefers city life to living here. I’d hoped Reed Springs might be my inheritance while Jamie got the Charleston house and the shipping business.” He shoved his hands to his hips, and his shoulders hunched forward.

  “So, that’s it then. You’re not goin’ to do a thing to stop this?” she squeaked, as a suffocating sensation tightened her throat.

  “I won’t go against my brother. I love him too much.”

  Hannah covered her face with trembling hands and gave vent to the agony of her loss. “I—I guess you love him more than me then.” She sobbed a strangled gasp and turned away, no longer able to look on his handsome face.

  ❧

  Hannah’s gut-wrenching plea tore at every part of his being. Cooper had gone over and over the whole situation in his head. He’d prayed for days and still had no answer. “Trust Me” was the message that kept coming to his mind. And he was trying to trust God. . .but there just seemed no way for this situation to turn out good for everyone.

  “Hannah, please don’t go like this,” he said, his voice ragged.

  She whipped around, throwing sharp blue daggers at him with her eyes. “Just how would you like me to be going?”

  Cooper removed his tricorn and crunched the edges in his hand. He had to help her see how he felt. “I was hoping you would understand. You have two brothers. What if the situation was reversed? Could you walk in and steal Michael’s intended away from him, knowing how much pain it would cause him?”

  The struggle taking place on her beautiful face shredded his already battered heart. After a moment she dropped her gaze to the ground. “No, I don’t suppose I could.”

  He lifted her chin with his finger. With the back of his hand, he wiped the tears blurring his vision, then he stood memorizing every inch of her lovely face for the last time. Tears flowed freely down both of their faces. Cooper expelled a savage groan and pulled her into his arms.

  For the moment, nothing else existed. He clung to her, knowing it would be his last chance. After this moment they wouldn’t belong to one another ever again.

  After a few short moments, Cooper released his death grip on Hannah and tilted her face up to his. He cradled her head in his hands and his fingers entwined in her hair. “I’ll love you forever, my sweet angel.” He leaned down and sealed their destiny with a final kiss as their lips and tears mingled together.

  All too soon, he pulled back. “Good-bye, my love, my angel.” He stroked her golden tresses for the final time, then released her so fast that she stumbled. He picked his hat off the ground where he had dropped it and slapped it back onto his head. Quickly, he turned, jumped on his horse, and rode away before he changed his mind.

  At least Jamie would be happy, though he would never know the sacrifice that Cooper had made.

  ❧

  Feeling more miserable than she ever had in her twenty years, Hannah turned and slowly walked back home. Lifting the skirt of her dress, she dried her tears. It was time she prepared to become the wife of Jamie Reed.

  Twenty

  The wedding was to take place at noon in the grassy area north of the Madisons’ house, weather permitting. The menacing, gray storm clouds had threatened to release their bounty but so far had not followed through.

  Hannah held up her small mirror and tried to see how her mother’s wedding dress looked on her. They had taken it up in the bust and sides and let out the hem a full two inches. She despised the tightly laced corset she had to wear in order to fit into the gown’s clinging bodice that tapered down to her waist. The corset made it hard to breathe and required her to stand up so much straighter than she had to when wearing her looser-fitting, high-waisted gowns. But she had to admit the royal blue dress with ecru lace trim was truly beautiful and the narrow cut made her look much slimmer.

  She set the mirror on the dresser and walked over to the small window in her bedroom. Jamie and his mother were riding over the ridge in a buggy and heading toward the house, with his father riding alongside on his horse.

  “Lord, I want to do Your will and to please You. Help me to be a good wife to Jamie. Perhaps in time, I’ll grow to love him. I truly hope I do, for his sake. I’m going to trust You. . . trust that You have good things planned for me. Please ease this horrible pain in my heart, and take care of Cooper.”

  Hannah opened the large Madison family Bible and ran her finger over the page that held her family tree. After today, Jamie’s name would be entered onto it next to hers. She let out a sigh and flipped the pages to Proverbs 3:5 and began reading. “ ‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.’ Amen, Lord. That is my prayer.”

  “Aren’t you the pretty one? Look what I have for your hair,” said her mother as she burst into the room and proudly held up a chain of tiny purple violets.

  “They’re very pretty.”

  Her mother had already arranged Hannah’s hair in loose curls on the back of her head with shorter curls framing her face and now placed the floral chain on her head. Hannah picked up the mirror and stared at her reflection again. The dainty flowers added a touch of femininity. “I hope Jamie will like them.”

  “Jamie will be so proud of you, my sweet girl, but I’ll dearly miss seeing you each morning.”
<
br />   “As you said before, I won’t be all that far away. I’m sure I’ll see you most days.”

  Her mother patted the bed. “Come and sit beside me for a moment.”

  Hannah lowered herself down next to her mother. Carefully she straightened her dress, knowing the warm, moist air would instantly cause wrinkles if she sat on it wrong.

  Her mother reached for her hand. “I’m so proud of you, my dear. I’ve looked forward to this day almost since the day you were born. Heather came to visit me a few days later and brought the boys. Jamie begged to hold you and wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was so out of character for him that Heather and I joked about you two getting married when you grew up, and before long, it became our dream. I’m so happy I lived to see this day. My own mother died before I married, and I so wished she could have been at my wedding.”

  Hannah was dumbfounded. Her mother had never told her that. She was destined almost from the day she was born to be Jamie’s wife. This path had been laid out her whole life. She had only to follow it and everything would work out. She had to believe that.

  Her mother squeezed her hand. “I saw Jamie arriving before I came in. I suppose it’s time we were heading to the parlor to await the signal for the wedding to begin.”

  Footsteps came their way down the hall, and they both looked up. Jane appeared in the doorway. Hannah smiled at her sister.

  “I’ve finished feeding the children and put them down for their naps. Jamie is here, and everyone is assembled.” Jane crossed the room and reached for Hannah’s hand, pulling her to her feet. “And don’t you look lovely. Mama’s dress fits you so much better than it did me.”

  “That’s not true. I’m too tall to do it justice.”

  “It looked lovely on both of you, so enough of that talk. Let’s be going.” Her mother extended her hand toward the doorway.

  Jane clapped her hands, a smile lighting her face. “Oh, did I tell you that the minister from town brought his brother? He’ll be playing his violin as you march in. Won’t it be so grand to have music at the wedding!”

  “Yes, it’s wonderful.” Hannah tried to work up some enthusiasm for her sister’s and mother’s sake.

  Jane waved them from the room. “We’d best be going.”

  Hannah nodded and her mother took her in her arms. As they parted, Mama wiped a tear off Hannah’s cheek.

  “I always cry at weddings, too.” Her mother smiled and patted Hannah’s cheek. “Time to be going, dear.”

  Taking a calming breath, Hannah followed her mother down the hall. Go ahead and cry, Mama, and so will I, but we’re not crying for the same reason.

  Moments later, Hannah peeked out the front door and surveyed the small crowd of guests gathered around the garden entrance. Her father strode proudly toward her, a big smile on his face. Michael, deep in an animated conversation with Jamie, flung his arms out to the side. Chesny stood with the other family servants in the shade of a huge pine tree, her hands also moving quickly as she conversed with Maisy and Leta. The minister’s wife stood next to Heather Reed, who also took advantage of the shade. But where was Cooper? As much as Hannah wanted him to be there, she wondered if it might be easier if he weren’t.

  “Are you ready to be married, daughter?” Richard Madison bellowed proudly.

  “Yes, Father.” But not to the man of my choosing—not to the man who stole my heart.

  He held out his elbow to her. “Then grab hold, and let’s go get you married.”

  Together they walked arm in arm across the porch and down the steps. Mama followed, happily humming behind them. Hannah could faintly hear the violin playing, but most of the sweet music floated away on the stiff breeze. Everyone smiled as they moved toward them. Everyone, except Cooper. Dressed in his dark church clothes and leaning against a tall oak tree, he looked as handsome as she’d ever seen him. His black tricorn was pulled down low, hiding his eyes, and his arms were crossed stiffly. The toe of his boot stirred up tiny clouds of dust that quickly floated away on the wind.

  As they came closer to the small cluster of people, Jamie walked away from Michael and went to stand in front of the minister. Cooper pushed away from the tree and walked over, standing a few yards away, to the right of Michael. Hannah glanced in his direction, but his head remained downcast.

  She felt her father handing her off to Jamie, and she trembled as he took her hand. Hannah looked into the lightly tanned face of the man who would soon be her husband. His Reed-blue eyes held a mischievous glint that gave her pause.

  Numbness filled her whole being. The minister was saying something about the sanctity of marriage. . .leaving your father and mother and cleaving to one another. Then he said, “If any of you know cause, or just impediment, why these two persons should not be joined together in holy matrimony, please speak up now or forever hold your peace.”

  Except for the birds mocking her with their cheerful songs and the trees rustling in the breeze, all was quiet. Hannah glanced over her shoulder and saw Cooper standing with his hands on his hips, squirming. When he looked up and held her gaze, a tiny spark of hope flickered deep within her. His dark brows knitted together, and Hannah watched the rise and fall of his chest as he seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts.

  I love you. Hannah hoped Cooper could read the silent message in her gaze.

  A blazing light ignited in his blue eyes. Like a tiny flame sparking a prairie fire, suddenly his countenance changed from despair to resolve. He straightened and walked toward her.

  Oh please, Lord, let it be.

  Cooper stopped behind her, and the heat from his body sent goose bumps racing up her arms. “I object, Reverend.”

  Hannah dared to breathe again. Tears of joy blurred her vision when Cooper pushed his way between her and Jamie, ripping her hand away from Jamie’s.

  “I tried,” he whispered, “but I just can’t let you go, angel.”

  A cry of relief broke from her lips, and tears cascaded down her cheeks. For the first time in days, Hannah reveled in the joy of Cooper’s love.

  “Um-hum.” The sound of Jamie clearing his throat jolted Hannah back to reality. She clung to Cooper’s hand and glanced up at his brother. Even though her heart burst with joy, she desperately hoped he wouldn’t be hurt. Immense relief flooded her to see his big grin. Jamie slapped Cooper on the shoulder. “It’s about time you came to your senses, little brother.”

  Richard Madison marched up to them. “Just what is the meaning of all this?”

  “Well, sir, it seems my little brother just about made the biggest mistake of his life,” Jamie said.

  “What mistake?” Lucas Reed roared.

  “Don’t know why you couldn’t see it, Father.” Jamie interrupted. “You and Mother were so busy tryin’ to marry me off to Hannah that you were blind to the fact that she doesn’t love me. She’s in love with Cooper.”

  “How can she be in love with Cooper? She hasn’t seen him since she was young.” Heather Reed rose from her chair and stood next to Jamie.

  “Well, Mum,” Jamie said, “it seems that my little brother stole my intended right out from under my nose.”

  Clinging to Cooper’s strong hand with both of hers, Hannah dared a glance at Jamie’s face. He looked as relieved as she felt. Had he, too, been forced into this near-marriage? She’d thought he wanted to marry her, but perhaps he was just as apprehensive. She thought sure her heart would explode any second with sheer joy.

  “Would somebody explain what is going on here?” Lucas Reed yelled.

  Hannah felt the warmth of Jamie’s hand on her shoulder and saw that his other hand clung to Cooper’s shoulder. “It’s quite simple, sir. Hannah almost married the wrong Reed brother. She loves Cooper, and she should marry him, not me.”

  Mrs. Reed stepped forward. “Cooper Reed, what is the meaning of this? How could you do such a horrible thing to your brother?” she cried.

  Hannah held her breath, hoping that Heather Reed would keep her Scottish temper un
der control.

  Before Cooper could respond, Jamie jumped back into the discussion. “Don’t you see, Mother? It makes good sense. You said yourself that Cooper hasn’t been himself ever since we came back to Reed Springs. You said he was moping around like a lovesick puppy.”

  “Aye, I did. I thought he was pinin’ away for some lassie back in England, but he had never mentioned a fondness for a young woman before.”

  Hannah’s father turned a bewildered look toward Michael. “Just what do you know about all this?”

  “I don’t know how you and Mother couldn’t see it. The two of them have been moping around ever since Jamie showed up. Haven’t you seen the way they look at each other? I got curious the day Cooper and I rode to Charleston. I wondered why he was wearing my clothes. Then I put two and two together and realized that Hannah must have been taking care of him. No wonder she couldn’t get over to Reed Springs fast enough each morning.”

  “It’s true.” Cooper smiled down at her and rubbed the scar on his forehead. “Hannah saved my life when she found me in the barn. I couldn’t have lasted much longer.”

  Lucas Reed stepped forward. “This is all my fault. I strove too hard to make my boys close after what happened between Marcus and me. I see now that Cooper couldn’t speak his mind for fear of hurting his brother.” He turned to face his sons. “Forgive me if I went too far in establishing the family as most important.”

  Cooper smiled. “I forgive you, Father.”

  “Me, too.” Jamie wrapped his arms around his father’s and brother’s shoulders.

  Hannah’s father turned to her. “Is it true? Are you in love with Cooper?”

  “Oh yes, sir. So much that I thought I would die without him.” She shot Cooper a hesitant smile.

  “Cooper Reed,” Hannah’s father bellowed, “just how did this happen? How could you steal my daughter’s heart right out from under my nose?”

  “It’s a long story, sir, and I’m afraid it’s my heart that she kidnapped,” Cooper said, smiling completely for the first time in days.