Spinster?

by Thompson, Nikki Mathis

  "You'd be surprised. I've had to fake it quite often," she teased, earning her a squeeze.

  "Not with me. You're not that good of an actress."

  She laughed, then turned her head, giving him a soft kiss on the jaw. "You're right. I never faked it with them. Maybe that's why they like me. I treat them like people. I don't talk down to them like they're idiots."

  "I think kids can sense those things. Besides, they see how I love you and that means something."

  "Maybe you're right."

  "Of course I'm right. You're my girls. I know these things." She liked the sound of that. "You know, the girls have to be my top priority because they rely on me for survival, but you're no less important to me."

  Tess turned in his arms and gave him a deep kiss. This man. His greatness knew no bounds.

  He pulled back. "As much as I'd like to stand here and kiss you until you pull me back into the bedroom, we need to go out there...come on." She nodded and opened the back door. Her steps were slower than normal, waiting for them to look up, to notice her. Turns out, Wes was right, like always, which she found adorably annoying. When they noticed her standing by the patio table they squealed.

  "Tess!"

  "T!" They flew into her arms.

  "We missed you!" Ella said.

  "I missed you more," Kate yelled. Tess bit back tears, as it hit her how much she'd missed their sweet faces and tight hugs. Wes stood to the side with his arms crossed across his chest. A content, knowing smile on his face.

  "I'm ready for another Connect 4 tournament when you are," Ella said, with a confident gleam in her eye.

  "Bring it, mini," Tess taunted, hugging her with all of her might.

  "I missed you, girls, too...so much."

  Kate held onto her hand the rest of the day. Tess now saw how attached kids got people, they didn't have the out of sight out of mind mentality as she suspected. It was a sobering thought. Good thing she wasn't going anywhere.

  Tess was surprised when things fell into place without a struggle. Her waiting for trouble to surface tendencies wouldn't disappear overnight. There were adjustments and conversations regarding schedules and boundaries, but nothing stressful or combative. It was all quite amicable. It's amazing how smooth things could go when adults act as such. Mila was respectful of their time and was even becoming what Tess might consider a friend, especially when Mila declared she and Donovan had become an item. She also felt more secure when she noticed how Wes and Mila interacted with one another. They cared about each other, that much was apparent, but there was nothing romantic about it. They had a connection and a friendship, and Tess had no problem sharing him with another women as long as they didn't want to get into his pants.

  Being an adult had never felt so grown up.

  The revelation she found most surprising was, everything that had transpired up to this point in her life had a purpose in shaping the woman she'd become. Every relationship, the good, the bad, and the underwhelming, had to happen. She'd made the choices that were best for her at the time. This included watching Wesley walk away all those months before.

  It had been devastating, but now she knew it had been necessary. She was able to shed her animosity and jealousy towards Mila, which had been freeing beyond belief.

  The people not surprised by any of it were Tess's friends. When she announced that they'd rekindled their relationship the reaction was more it's about time, than why. They all, Mila included, seemed to know what she and Wes had been slower to grasp—that they were perfect for each other.

  "So, when's the wedding?" Emma asked. Everyone was nodding, and saying "yeah" at the question.

  "Guys, he hasn't even proposed," Tess reminded them.

  "Technicality," Marin added.

  "We've been back together for like, a second." Tess shook her head, taking a drink of her wine.

  "You're right, no pressure. We're just glad you two came to your senses...and you're totally getting married," Willa added, rubbing her now basketball-sized stomach. She was the cutest pregnant woman Tess had ever seen.

  "And all thanks to Mila, isn't that bizarre?" Marin added.

  Tess nodded. "I certainly didn't see that one coming...speaking of, you'll never guess who she's seeing."

  "Donovan," Rebel announced.

  "You knew, and you didn't say anything?" Tess petite screeched.

  "First, chill. Second, I just found out yesterday."

  "Wow, Mila and Donovan, what are the odds?" Jen, now Mrs. K-Thor, said. Her wedding was the most unique and wonderful ceremony Tess had ever attended. She knew it was only a matter of time until Jen was sporting her own basketball.

  "Does he know she's," Emma circled her finger around her ear, sticking her tongue out.

  "Emma!" Tess admonished, feeling defensive for Mila. When this little development started was anyone's guess.

  "What?" Emma griped, putting her hands in the air.

  "He told Cameron all about it. He knows about her past stuff and she knows his. Maybe a bit of dysfunction can cancel each other out," Rebel said. "He really likes her though...and he says he has you to thank, Tess. So I guess you and Mila helped each other."

  "Me? What did I do?"

  "He said, and I quote, 'you opened his heart to the possibility of love again,'" Rebel declared. Tess just smiled. That sounded like something Donovan would say.

  "I went on a few dates with him and listened, like anyone would do."

  "Not every woman would do that, Tess. I think most women would have ignored his vulnerability," Marin speculated.

  "I don't know. I just don't think I deserve too much credit, but I'm happy I could help him. He's good people," Tess said, with a smile.

  "You're good people, too, Tessy," Bristol added. Tess smiled at her sister, grateful she was part of her life again. Divorce looked good on her.

  Her friends all agreed and warmth bloomed in her cheeks. These women, they were the first loves of her life.

  "To Tess, who ran from love like the plague, but you know what they say, you can run but you can't hide," Emma said, raising her glass.

  "Yup, you can't run from love." Tess agreed.

  "No, you can't run from the Plague. That shit got everybody." Rebel was the first the laugh, then everyone else joined in. Emma was like a Hallmark card from hell.

  "Thanks, guys, you're the best. With friends like you, who needs a penis?" Tess teased.

  A hand raised. "Me."

  "Me."

  "Yeah, me, too."

  "Rather fond of cock, actually."

  "I'm down with the D."

  "Strap on."

  Tess sighed. "Never mind."

  "Dicks, all in favor," Willa said with authority.

  "Aye." Resounded from all around the table.

  "Motion carried, dicks, whether real or prosthetic, stay."

  Dysfunctional obviously didn't cancel out dysfunctional with this group....and that was just the way she liked it.

  It was a Thursday evening and Tess was over making her now famous French toast. It was a tradition in the Caraway household to have breakfast for dinner at least once a week. The girls were singing the theme song to KungFu Panda. Well, Ella was singing it, Kate chimed in about every fourth word. They were chopping their fists in the air and kicking.

  "Hey, take your karate moves out into the living room, please," Tess asked, narrowly missing getting a chop to the thigh.

  "It's kunfoo, T," Kate corrected.

  "Whatever, just move it in there," Tess said, air kicking them out of the kitchen, which they found hilarious.

  Tess turned her attention back to the bowl on the counter. The beaten eggs were ready for their bread buddies to take a dip.

  "I'm home! Where my girls at?" Wes hollered, in what might have been his attempt to sound street, and failing miserably. Tess shook her head and laughed.

  "Daddy!" she heard the girls scream, no doubt followed by them tackling into his legs. Sure enough, the most handsome man she knew c
ame into the kitchen with a daughter clinging to each leg, like cherubic sloths.

  Tess wiped her hands and smiled. "Hey there! I was worried you were going to miss Din-fast." She walked over to him and placed a soft kiss onto his cheek. She liked that he still smelled like his aftershave, even after a long day.

  "Sorry, baby. Meeting ran way late. Mrs. Gunterman wouldn't take 'you signed a non-disclosure agreement' for an answer." He pecked her on the lips.

  "Give me a minute to wash up, and to see about removing these growths." He lumbered out of the kitchen, the girls giggling with each step. Tess sighed a content sigh. Those were her favorite people on the planet, and even though it wasn't official yet, she felt like they were her family. She could do this. She could be a role model to these kids. A lover to their dad. Step-Monster, never—she was a do unto others type gal.

  All of her life, people had been dying to define her with a simple label. They could try to put her on a box, like she could be minimized in such a way. Whether she was Chubbles, privileged, married, single, spinster, it didn't matter. She was who she was, and that was enough—making room for those who deserved her love, and gave her love in return. She felt luckier than most. She was surrounded by people who loved her without conditions or parameters, because at the end of the day, Tess Warner wanted love and life to be...limitless. She wanted that life to be here, with him, with them...for as long as they'd have her. And maybe, just maybe, some labels were not meant to oppress, but to signify what you are to the ones who matter most.

  And when it came down to it, she didn't think she'd mind donning a few new labels—wife and step-mom.

  ~Epilogue~

  She closed her eyes. The warm breeze hit her face, the hint of brine tickled her nose. The flitters in her stomach were nerves, but mostly, anticipation. After being with someone for a few years she thought the butterflies would have been a thing of the past, inclusive to new love's intensity, yet there they were. The thought of him, of their future, made her want things she never thought possible. Forever.

  "You ready?" The voice was soft, tentative.

  Taking the arm offered, she strolled on auto-pilot, her mind focused on the palms and blue skies.

  She turned and smiled. "Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

  Kicking off her terrycloth slippers, she took her first step onto the warm sand, soft and flowing beneath her coral-painted toes, to match the flowers in her grasp. The lace hugged her curves and swished just above her ankles. Her hair down in long soft waves. The walk that should have taken minutes seemed to stretch to infinity, the pathway in front of her narrowing, then elongating in her vision. She took a deep breath when she realized she was becoming light headed, swaying into her father's shoulder. "You okay there, sure foot?" he teased.

  "Sorry, forgot to breathe for a second."

  "Oxygen is imperative, baby girl." His chuckle was warm and comforting.

  She forced herself to hone in on the golden god at the end of the sandy aisle, covered in soft aqua silk. She could feel her friends and family smiling at her in adoration. She knew it without looking, Could feel their love and support radiating off of them on waves. She waited for this day, prayed for it, and now in a few small steps, it would be her reality.

  Her father stopped their procession right in front of the arch covered in delicate white flowers. The officiant, a slight dark man with wire rimmed glasses held a small bible. He asked, "Who gives this woman, to this man?"

  She looked at her father, still gorgeous even with a few wrinkles and silver on his temples, as he said, "Her mothers and I do." She smiled, glancing to the front row where her mom and Tess sat side by side. She'd been blessed with not one, but two moms who helped shape her into the woman that stood before them—feeling as strong as an oak one minute, but fragile as a blade of grass the next. Every bride before her had felt the same way, that had to be true.

  "I love you, Kate," he said with a soft kiss on her forehead. Tears filled his eyes as he passed her to the man that would now be the center of her universe. She kissed him back, "Thank you, Daddy, for everything." She sniffed, but she would not cry, she would not cry. She watched her father place a small kiss on her mother's cheek, then he sat and took Tess into his arms, their cheeks wet with tears. He kissed her with a gentle mouth, still as in love as the day they said I do on this very stretch of beach two decades ago. If her marriage held a tenth of the passion and respect as her dad and Tess's, they'd be happier than most. Her older sister, who was the maid of honor, winked at her, giving her a jolt of bravery, like she'd done her whole life.

  She turned her attention back to her husband-to-be. He took her small hands into his, and she was flooded with such strong emotion her lip quivered. "We're gathered here today to join these two beautiful young people together in front of their friends and loved ones. In the eyes of God we are all pure of heart and bold of spirit, and these two people you see before you emanate those qualities with grace and constancy. The love they share is rare and should at no time be taken for granted. And without further ado, repeat after me..."

  The End

  ~SOUNDTRACK~

  1. The Wire -Haim

  2. Smoke and Mirrors- Imagine Dragons

  3. Leave a Trace- CHVRCHES

  4. Fools- The Aikiu

  5. Warm Foothills- alt-J

  6. Gemini- What So Not

  7. Beauty in the Breakdown- Frou Frou

  8. A Rush of Blood- Coasts

  9. Gravity Rides Everything- Modest Mouse

  10. True Love Waits- Radiohead

  11.I Feel It- Avid Dancer

  12. Promise- Ben Howard

  Bonus Track: All the single ladies- Beyonce

  Danke!

  I had fun writing this one! I was married at 23, so my knowledge of living as a modern single woman is limited. Hearing my single friends' stories intrigued me, so I wanted to write one for them. Of course, in the book she had to meet a guy, it being a romantic comedy and all. But, life doesn't start when you find your plus one. A modern woman can be whatever she wants to be.

  As most of my books no subject is safe from banter, but my intent is never malicious. In a society where everyone gets offended by everything, this is a daunting prospect, so I try to be cognizant of that fact, but not let it censor me too much either.

  I have family members dealing with mental illness, so I know first hand the impact it can have on a family and how harrowing it can be to wake up every day and try to function. My heart goes out to those struggling, and I hope Mila was a good representative for you all. I'm not an expert, but did my best to paint a realistic picture.

  Really I write to bring fun and humor to the universe. With everything happening on the world stage, we all need to escape for a few hours. That's why I keep doing this and I'll keep writing until I have nothing left to say. Human kindness and humor is free...I want to spread it around!

  Thanks to my editor, Toni Rakestraw and my cover designer, Natasha Brown. I love working with both of you.

  Thank you, to my betas! Misti, Cheryl, Casey, Mandi, and Andrea. Such great suggestions, you help make my books better.

  Thank you to my loyal band of readers who have stuck with me through the years. Thanks to the book bloggers who are still out there helping us get the word out. A special thanks to my reader turned friend, Dee Montoya with Wrapped up in Reading.

  My book club has gives me so much inspiration. We really have deranged conversations like the ones you read in my books. Love you ladies!

  To my supportive husband, who finally accepted that this expensive and time consuming hobby wasn't going away. I love you! To my kids for being so proud of their momma.

  Thank you to my friends, who fill my life with laughter and inappropriate humor.

  Finally, thank you for reading! Please leave a review! It means so much to an author and the best way to show your appreciation!

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  Other Books by Nikki Mathis Thompson, available on Amazon and BN:

  Rebound

  Resilient (Follow up to Rebound)

  This is ME

  Chasing the Sun

  The Space Between

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