by ChaShiree M.
I can hear the music playing from the charity event. The glasses clanging together as people drink their champagne. The laughter that feels the room from the joy and excitement people are having should be enough to bring me around, but it isn’t. I have been planning this event for the past six months as usual, paying top dollar for the blackjack tables, portable slot machines and the roulette wheel to fit in with my ‘What happens in Vegas’ theme. I am more than happy with the turnout. More and more people come and donate their money every year that I do this, and this year was no exception. Last year we had 200 people show up for my Mardi Gras theme. We raised one-hundred and fifty thousand dollars to split between the three organizations I donate to. This year promises to double that.
But here I am, hiding out on the outside of the event, crying like a baby, trying to stop the vomiting from rearing its disgusting head. In theory, I could leave. I mean I don’t need to be here any longer. I greeted everyone, gave my speech before Parker got here and so my job is done. I hired an MC for the rest of the night. I could go. So why am I not leaving?
“There you are.” Fuck! I am not really in the mood to see anyone. But tonight, is not the night when I can ignore people. Plus, I can tell from the accent its Vanessa. I wipe my face and try to take a deep breath before turning around. I know my fake togetherness hasn’t fooled her by the look on her face.
“Don’t ask Pumpkin. I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I tell her when I see her brows crease as she prepares to ask me what is wrong. I purposely use the nickname I gave her a couple of years ago because she knows when I use it, I am serious, but I am also not upset with her. I can tell when she decides to comply.
“Very well Felicity. For right now I will pretend I don’t notice one of my best friends crying her eyes out on one of her most successful nights of the year. For now. But you know, we will discuss this.” I sag my shoulders knowing she is right.
“I know. Thank you for giving me some time. So, who do we have here?” I ask gesturing to the beautiful woman she has beside her. I extend my hand to shake it and notice the, more than slight, baby bump she has. My eyes stay glued to her stomach as I feel the queasiness coming back. Everything clouds over. Her stomach seems to be the place to hypnotize me.
“Felicity?” I hear Vanessa say in askance. I blink a few times, willing the nausea to stop.
“I’m sorry. I was thinking a bit too hard.”
“I want to introduce you to my older sister Araya. Araya this is Felicity. The owner I was telling you about,” she says as her sister and I shake hands.
“Oh wow. It is a pleasure to meet you Araya. Vanessa speaks so highly of you. I am glad you were able to make it on such a great occasion.”
“The pleasure is all mine. Vanessa speaks highly of you as well and might I add my sister doesn’t admire many. But you are one she admires greatly.” I am more than a little shocked by this. Why in the hell would someone admire me?
“Wow. Um...thank you.” Great. Now I sound like a high schooler.
“Well I came here with Vanessa, because my fiancée and I would like to become silent partners.”
“Holy shit...” I pop my hand over my mouth. My eyes get wide as I try to contain the awe. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. You just...caught me by surprise.” She giggles.
“It’s ok. Trust me. My mouth is the worst. Lansing is always yelling at me to ‘Watch it Kitten’ before he stuffs it full of something else,” she says a bit cheekily. “Crazy man doesn’t consider that I might be doing it on purpose just to get the punishment.” I laugh, the loudest I have in a long time. I like her. Before I can respond to her comment, I can feel my mouth drop open as all the air is sucked from my lungs. One of the biggest men I have ever seen comes up behind her. Holy hell.
“Or maybe, I know exactly why you do, and I punish you for the same reason, Kitten.” he wraps his arms around her waist, his hands rubbing her stomach as he kisses her neck. She leans back on him, clearly in love and happy and I hate to admit it, but I feel a bit of envy.
“Felicity. I would like you to meet my fiancée, Lansing. Lansing this is the wonderful woman in charge of this event and the company my sister invested in.”
“Well then the pleasure is all mine.” His James Earl Jones voice booms at me, with his hand extended. “I assume my beautiful woman and her sister told you we would like to also partner. Ever since I left the service, I have been looking things to invest in, not only to make my mark, but to make a difference. My buddy Trim and I have invested in all sorts of companies. We could set up a time for Araya and I to come by, bring you our portfolio and talk about this, if you like?”
“I would like that very much. Vanessa call me tomorrow and we can set something up.” We continue to chat for a few more minutes, further cementing my initial thought, that I am going to like them very much and then I leave. It has all been too much for me and I just need a moment. I call for an uber and stand out there waiting. Suddenly, I don’t want to go home to an empty condo. Switching the uber over to a different drop off address, the tears begin to fall, slowly and silently.
Getting out of the car, I am not surprised when my sister is standing in the door of her house with her arms open. “Hey sweetie,” she says as I run into her arms bawling my eyes out. There was a time when she and I weren’t close. I can now see it for what it was. A typical sibling relationship exacerbated by the fact that I would push her away as well because we are so different. But now, none of that even matters.
“Come on. Let’s go have some tea and talk.” We walk inside the house and while she makes the tea, I simply look around at this wonderful life she and Brad have built.
“Talk to me Lissi. What’s going on?”
“I honestly don’t know. He came to the event, he tried to talk to me, but I was just so angry and upset that I haven’t heard from him that I lashed out and pushed him away. He tried to apologize, told me we should talk after the event was over and I yelled at him, told him it wouldn’t work and ran away.” I ramble all of that off, telling her between snot and hiccupping.
“Oh honey. I wish you could see yourself the way everyone else does. You are not the same person you were even three years ago. You have grown, matured and I am so damned proud of you. You deserve to be happy too Felicity. Why can’t you let yourself?” It’s the question I have been asking as well.
“I don’t know. I know a lot of it is the fact that I haven’t been feeling like me for a while now. I am either nauseous or irritable. Hot or dizzy. Sometimes both. Not to mention the vomiting.” Her eyes get squinty, which is a sign for some reason that she is getting happy.
“What?!?” I ask her. Instead of answering me, she goes into the back of the house and comes back with a box.
“Here. Take this and go home. You need to talk to him. Parker is smart and much like his brother. He knows what he wants. Believe in him. If he says he loves you, trust him. Their family is not at all what you think. But they believe in family like no one I have ever known. Trust me. Once you give yourself over to it, it amazing. I love you sweetie. It’s time that you learn to love yourself.” With that being said, she walks me to the door, rather giggly I might add, and has a car waiting for me. I don’t know why, but I don’t open the bag immediately. I wait until I am about five minutes from the condo before I see what is inside.
“A pregnancy test. What the hell?” I close the bag back swiftly. My mind whirring back and forth trying to figure out what I said that would make her jump to such a conclusion. Not that I haven’t been thinking it myself. I have on multiple occasions, but then I dismiss it and bury it. Guess my sister says enough of that. Gotta love Cinnamon.
I get out of the car once it pulls in and take the elevator up. I get off the elevator on my floor almost robotically. Walking but not paying attention. I look up finally and there he is. Parker.
“Parker. What are you doing here?” I ask in a whisper, not trusting myself not to breakdown.
“Fixing u
s baby. Fixing us.” And there goes the waterworks. He wraps his arms around me and that does it. But I am not crying because I am upset. No. I am crying because I finally feel at home.
10
Parker
Watching her cry is killing me. She should never know a moments sadness.
“Baby please talk to me. Why are you crying? What’s wrong? Felicity, I love you.” I say to her over and over as I walk her inside of her condo to the bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed, with her in my arms, legs draped over my mine, head snuggled in my neck, tears drenching my shirt.
“I-I thought I would never see you again,” she says between tears and sniffles. Her arms hold my neck tighter like she is trying to stop me from disappearing.
“I couldn’t leave without talking to you first. I admit, the thought crossed my mind a time or two. We haven’t been...well...us, in quite a while. Every time I tried to address it, you would blow it off. But never once have I stopped loving you. But ...I need you to look at me.” I demand. I need her eyes on me for this next part because what happens from this moment forward, will determine our future. She looks at me, eyes red and swollen and she still has never looked more beautiful. “You need to talk to me. We can’t fix this and move forward, if you won’t open up to me, baby. I am here. I love you so fucking much, and I want to share my life with you.” I am about to finish waxing poetic when she stuns the hell out of me.
“That’s just it, Parker. I feel like….” she stops mid-sentence, lip caught between her teeth as she battles with her next move. I want to shake it out of her, make her tell me, but this has to be all her. If we have any chance of making it, she has to do this. I try to remain calm and patient as she wars with herself. I can see finally, when she decides to continue. She inhales and exhales deeply before finishing. I get the feeling that whatever she is going to say is hard for her.
“I feel like the fact that you love me is a mistake. Like you accidentally fell into this relationship and just never left. I don’t fit in with your family, friends…. well, your life period. I just ...I'm not what you need,” she says weeping into my shoulder. Jesus, the pain coming off of her is palpable. I can feel it in my chest as my woman bares her soul for me, showing the depth of her self-doubt. How the fuck did I not realize this is where her head was? Have I been that selfish and preoccupied with my own shit? How the hell I did I fuck this up so much?
“Felicity look at me.” I make my voice as serious as possible. She looks up at me making my breath catch. She is so fucking beautiful. Even while crying. “You are right, baby. I didn’t come looking for you. Hell, you didn’t come looking for me either. We met by chance, but I think it was fate baby. The moment I saw you, I knew the reason I was born. It was to be graced with your smile, surrounded by your light and encased in the warmth of your love. I thank God every day for saving you for me. Why would you doubt any of that?”
“I don’t know.” she says shrugging her shoulders. “You really think we are meant to be together?” she asks. Her cute red nose swollen and wet. I take the sleeve of my shirt and wipe her nose before kissing her chastely on the mouth. So, fucking beautiful.
“I do. Don’t you?”
“The thing is, Parker, I do. I have just been so emotional and stressed and letting my mind get away from me.” I get what she is saying. Between school, my internship and trying to make sure our relationship is ok, I have been having some problems being rational too.
“What about your family and friends. Cinnamon told me what your mom said to you about me at the brunch. Not that I blame her.” Shit. I was hoping we never had to talk about that.
“Felicity, my mom is just like any other mom. Worried and protective over her kids. She thinks you are going to hurt me. Her instinct is to either tell me to protect myself from you, or to do it for me. She likes you. She just doesn’t understand why you don’t want to be a part of our family. Starting with turning down her investment and charity” The truth is that I don’t understand either.
“That was pure fear on my part. Though the gesture was beautiful and kind, all I kept thinking was how she would try to take over my business and change it if she became in investor. Stupid I know. And I want you to know, I love your family. So much. I would be honored to be a part of it. The insecure part of me just felt like your mom and dad were judging me. In one seat is my older sister. Beautiful, smart, well put together and doesn’t have ink on her skin. You look at me, and I am the total opposite. Why wouldn’t they judge me? Hell, I would judge me.”
“Oh baby. Were my parents surprised to learn you were going to be my wife, absolutely. But it took less than an hour for them to get it. You challenge me. You force me to think outside the box and to be honest, you bring me to my knees every damn time. My mom recognized after our first dinner at the house that you were perfect for me. Before I could tell you that, you stopped showing up. Don’t do that shit anymore Felicity. It’s you and me baby. Where I go, you go. You belong to me. No more of this back and forth shit. I am done playing. We are going to have a family eventually, you and I. Look at me. Do you understand?”
Her eyes begin to glow as she squirms her ass on my lap. “Is that so? What if I say no?” she asks, trying to hide the smirk on her face. I love her like this. Playful and horny. She swings her legs around, so she is sitting facing me, legs on either side. She looks me in the eyes, wraps her hands around my neck and leans in.
“I love you so fucking much Parker. I am so sorry for everything. There is nothing I want more than to belong to you. If you’ll have me.” I hear the sincerity in her voice, and it makes my cock swell up, knowing she is all mine. No games.
“Prove it.” She takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she rises from her position and begins to undress.
Son of a bitch. She is fucking gorgeous. Once her dress is at her feet, I look her up and down, my mouth dry, looking at this succulent creature standing in front of me. My chest swells with the knowledge that all of her belongs to me.
“Come here baby.” I command her as I unbuckle my pants and shuffle them down, without moving it out of the seat. I stroke my cock, trying to decide if my mouth gets her first or this monster I keep trying to calm. She squirms, her nipples point straight at me, taunting me. I pull her already tight and hard nipple into my mouth, first one, then the other. She moans, her hands on my shoulder as her head rolls back. Not able to hold it together anymore, I lift her up and slide her down my hard cock. It's too late to go slow and savor this moment. I need to fuck and judging by her screams and the way she grinds herself on me when she slams down, so does she. I fuck into her harder and harder, meeting her downward bounces. We both need to let go. But I can’t. Not until she tells me what I want to hear.
“Tell me what I want to hear,” I demand, rubbing her clit with my thumb as she bounces up and down. I bite her nipple, sucking it after waiting for her to answer me.
“I’m yours. I’m yours,” she moans.
“Damn right.” I pinch her clit, setting her off.
“PARKER,” she screams my name like its curse. I grin and fuck her through her orgasm. When she’s peaked, I unleash inside of her.
Lying in bed holding her in my arms is one of my favorite things. She fell asleep immediately after, but I couldn't find it in myself to close my eyes. Now, she is awake, staring at me like she has something to say.
“Felicity. I thought we just got over this. You can say anything to me. What’s going on?”
“I know. It’s not that I don’t want to say this to you. It’s just I am not sure I want to know myself.” Now I have to know
“Lissi!” I put a bit of force in my tone.
“Fine. I think I’m pregnant,” she blurts it out real quick, face flushed and tears in her eyes. Holy Shit!!!
“Are you ...I mean how do….” I clear my throat and start over. “Have you taken a test?”
“Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first and do it together.” Fucking love this girl.
> “Then let’s do it baby. No matter what it says, it doesn’t change anything. Either way we are getting married. Soon.”
“Oh really!!!” she says hitting me slightly on my chest.
“Yes. Really!!! But first, let’s go find out if we are going to be parents.”
We get up and go into the bathroom together. After putting the test on the counter and waiting the longest three minutes in history. It’s time.
“You look Parker. I can’t.” I kiss her head, pick up the test and my heart expands ten-fold. I am going to be a dad.
“Well?” She asks, eyes still closed.
“Open your eyes Lissi.” She opens one eye and when she looks at my face, I know what she sees. Pure happiness. She put her hands to her mouth as she gasps.
“Oh my god. I’m going to be a mom.” I nod as I wrap her in my arms. In my mind I am thanking God for giving me this life. It’s official now.
Felicity is mine for-fucking-ever.
11
Felicity
I am on pins and needles. We have our first doctor’s appointment today and I am so nervous. I haven’t told anyone yet, and forbid Parker from telling anyone either. I mean, it’s not that I am not happy about it. I just need some time to get used to knowing. It’s been two days and I am no closer to having this information sink in. I have to get over it quick, Cinnamon is not going to remain uninformed for long, considering she was the one to give me the test. I have been at work for the past two hours, trying to get through all these phone calls.
I think I didn’t put enough appreciation into how much we really need a receptionist. But now, with Vivian gone, and us all taking shifts at the phone, I know for sure how vital her role was. Not that I regret her not being here. She was on a fast roll toward being fired. But it did bring to light how much whomever I hire is going to have to do, and that I need to up the pay.
