by C. M. Carpi
“I was driving that car, Elena. His family blames me, and Anna blames me, but no one has the courage to say that. I feel it every time I look at her. ”
“They don’t, Daniel. You do. You need to get over it.”
“You think I haven’t tried?”
“Yes, I do. You just run away! That’s what you did the other day, and that’s what you’d do today if I didn’t reach you. That’s what you did this whole time. You don’t allow anyone to talk about Matt and you don’t do it either. You don’t talk about the accident and this is killing you.” — His head was down, I don’t know if he was really listening. — “Don’t do this to yourself.” — He looked at me, but I couldn’t read him. His hands touched my face and he stared at me while gently caressing me.
“Elena…” — He stopped and squinted, then shook his head. — “Before I met you I knew exactly what I was supposed to do.” — His eyes blanked. — “I knew it. Then you came into my life with that easy smile and big green eyes and turned my life upside down.” — He smiled. — “You’re the best thing that could happen to me.”
“Daniel…”
“Shish!” — He interrupted me and put his finger on my lips. — “I love you, Elena.” — What? He said he loves me? — “I love you so hard.”
I couldn’t speak and breathing got suddenly harder. He kissed me again and held me strongly while his tongue invaded my mouth full of desire. Oh my God! It was impossible to resist that. It was impossible to resist him. He wouldn’t say anything else today and I wouldn’t listen to him either. Not at this very moment.
He lay on the bed and grabbed my legs while pulling me down and lying over me. His mouth touched my neck, sucking my skin really slow. Then he started biting my chin and kissing my mouth again.
I let him lead me through all these sensations. Just five minutes ago he was heartbroken, tormented by his demons and crying on my nap, but now… Now he loved me and wanted me. Now he desired me. His hands went to my breasts, caressing them gently over my shirt while I arched my back. With one of his hands holding my right boob, the other went down my belly, and his fingers started to touch the skin under my pants.
“Oh!” — I moaned and held his hips, pulling him down and rising my body to touch them. He shivered. I pulled his shirt up, undressing him and throwing it away. I sat down, so he could take my shirt off and so he did while unfastening my bra with incredible skilled hands. His mouth touched my nipple kindly, making it tumid.
“The smell of your skin is divine, Elena.” — He whispered while lying slowly and kissing my belly. His hands unbuttoned my trousers and he threw it away with my pants. I was completely naked and exposed. He went on his knees and looked at me. His eyes shone and the pleasure in them could burn my skin. I was burning with desire.
I moved on to kiss his naked chest. My fingers went down through his black hairs and to his navel. I opened his pants to stick my hand inside it. He closed his eyes for a moment and arched. He looked dangerous when he opened them again to look at me.
He finished undressing faster and I stared at him delighted with the sight of his naked body and his perfectly drawnabdomen. I felt chills all over my body just imagining him inside me again.
In a fast movement he laid over me and rolled my body while holding my waist, making me face down. His mouth went down my back, kissing every inch of it. He bit my nates and it made me shiver. His weight against my body… Oh! I could lose my senses.
“Daniel!” — I called him breathless. He separated my legs with his knees and touched me slowly, caressing me and making me moan under the sheets. — “Daniel… Oh… I want you now, please!” — My hoarse voice showed I was not myself anymore.
“I want you to come first, Elena.” — He whispered in my ear while putting his finger inside me.
I held the sheets stronger and moved my hips, letting he lead me. He did that like a professional.
“Come, love.” — His words made me get into ecstasy and I forgot where I was. I had such a strong orgasm, so intense that for a moment I felt like I could touch heaven with my fingertips.
I gave myself completely to the spasms my body felt and before I could rest he penetrated me slowly, going in and out. I raised my hips and he pulled it out just to stick it in again. A delicious torture. His breath was heavy and his moans louder. I raised my hips again and he held me.
“You have to stand still, Elena.” — The way he said my name now made me even more excited, as if it were even possible. He moved slowly and made me shiver. I raised my hips timidly once more and he made me stop. His warm breath reached my neck.
His hands found mine and led them to the top of my head, pressing them while he kissed my ear and moaned.
“Don’t. You.Move!” — I realized how much he was trying to control himself. I teased him, moving myself once more and he let out a throaty groaned. — “My God, Elena!” — He said against my neck while moving faster and deeper, in a crazy rhythm. Our sounds invaded the room. — “Elena…” — His voice choked. I raised my body against his once more and delivered myself to the highest pleasure, stifling a scream against the mattress. I let the shivering of my body control me once more, no reservations. He moved again and came sorely inside me while saying my name.
He laid his body over mine, which was covered by the sheets.
“I told you not to move.” — He said while lying beside me and biting my lips.
“I couldn’t.” — I touched his face with both hands and kissed his lips thrice. After that I whispered inside his mouth — “I love you, Daniel.” — He looked inside my eyes and smiled while kissing me gently. He embraced me and we made love again. We finally fell asleep while holding each other.
* * *
I woke up startled by someone knocking at the door. Daniel was holding me and deeply sleeping while snoring. Yes, he snores.
I reached for my cell phone and tried to check what time it was, but I didn’t find it. I looked at the window in front of me and noticed it was still dark. Who could it be? I took his hand off my leg and got up slowly. I put the hotel’s robe and went tiptoe to the door.
It was Caroline. She was holding my purse and my coat, both of which I left at the bar. I completely forgot about them. She dressed checkered pajamas in tones of blue and white, her hair was put up and her face was terrible, she must have cried a lot.
“I’m sorry for coming at this hour, but I couldn’t… I really need to speak with Daniel.”
“He’s sleeping, Caroline. It’s been a long night.” — I said while getting out of the room and closing the door carefully.
We sat on the hallway and went silent for a long time. Maybe she could tell me something else.
“He told me about the accident.” — She seemed surprised.
“He never talks about it.”
“He was unsettled and cried a lot.”
“I never saw him crying. If he ever did it after the accident he disguised really well.”
She became silent again. Then she looked at the extinguisher in the wall in front of us for a long time.
“Do you know why he doesn’t like to celebrate his birthday?” — She broke the silence and went on as I shook my head. — “It was the night of the accident”. Poor Daniel! This explains a lot.
“They were coming back from his birthday party. He drank a little. We all did, but it wasn’t his fault. I was in the car behind them and I saw the other car coming out of nowhere…” — She started to cry again. — “He really blames himself, especially because of Anna. That’s why he feels responsible for her.”
“What happened after the accident? How was he?”
She looked at me for a moment before starting to talk again. It was like she was thinking about what to do. I noticed the way they deal with it, always concerned about Daniel.
�
��Daniel was devastated. He barely spoke with us and started to drink a lot more than usual. Sometimes he wouldn’t come home and spent the nights with different girls.” — She smiled, embarrassed. — “His reputation with women has never been good, but it became a lot worse.” — Wow! — “He started to fight on the streets and his parents had to pick him up at the jail more than once.” — That’s something I can’t imagine. — “It was the way he found to put the pain aside. It went on for a year I guess, until Anna tried to kill herself for the first time. It messed with him somehow, and he didn’t think he could lose someone else. That made them closer, although he wouldn’t speak about the accident. In the beginning we thought it was a mistake, but they did well to each other and healed some wounds, at least superficial ones. Then they finally decided to get married. Actually Anna decided that. I don’t think Daniel has ever thought about it, but he was afraid of what she could do and he blamed himself. He still does that. It was her parents who asked them to break up. It would never work. Although they loved each other, they would never overcome what happened that night. That’s why he went on a trip, and met you.” — She smiled. — “Now I see Daniel the way we knew him before the accident.”
The door opened and she suddenly stopped talking. Daniel went out with his hair all messed up and eyes wide open. Even like that, he was the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.
“I couldn’t find you inside…” — His voice was low and husky.
I stood up and kissed his cheek. Carol got up after me.
“Why did you come at this time? — He frowned while talking to her.
“I couldn’t sleep and I needed to see how you were…” — She shrugged before hugging him and continued. — “I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s ok, Caroline.” — They kept silent for some minutes until she stopped crying. — “Good night.”
“Good night, Daniel, and you too, Elena. I’m sorry for waking you up, but I…”
“No problem.” — She went on the hallway. We stood silent in front of the door.
“What a night, huh?” — He gave a half-smile and dragged me inside the room. We lay in silence, I caressed his chest with my fingertips and he fell asleep in my arms. It was past 6a.m. when I finally fell asleep.
Elena
I woke up alone the other day. When I looked through the window the sun was shining strong. I rolled to grab my cell phone and saw a note under the pillow and a yellow rose.
He remembered!
Good morning, love!
I left early for a meeting. You were gorgeous while sleeping…
I come back in the evening.
Yours,
Daniel.
P.S.: Thanks for last night.
I embraced the pillow and felt his perfume. Ah! I was so delighted. He said he loved me! I couldn’t stop thinking about that. Although we had a turbulent conversation last night and we still had a lot to talk about, the only thing I could think about was that he loved me and so did I.
I grabbed my cell phone on the bedside table to check what time it was when I realized it was off. Why? I covered my mouth and remembered that it didn’t ring since Jess’s birthday. I pressed the button to turn it on when someone knocked on the door and surprised me.
“Elena!” — Jess. It took a while. I got up slowly while my cell phone rang nonstop. There were more than twenty-five missed calls and infinite messages, from Daniel and Jess.
I opened the door slowly and she went in crazily, slamming the door violently.
“Are you insane?” — She screamed throwing her purse on the bed. I looked at her and didn’t understand it really well. She continued. — “You arrive at my house in that situation because of this Daniel, than you come back and promise to call me as soon as you solve everything and just disappear?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but she continued.
“You know what a cell phone is for, Elena? Do you have any idea on how much I worry about you?” — I opened my mouth, but again I couldn’t speak. She wouldn’t stop. I put my cell phone on the bedside table and walked in the bathroom. I’d better take a shower. She followed me while I undressed and continued speaking, I wasn’t assimilating her words anymore.
“I almost sent the cops after you!” — She shook her hands exasperating and silence fell upon us. Thanks God.
I turned on the shower and the warm water fell all over me.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” — She shouted.
“You won’t allow me.”
“Sorry. You need to put some sense in your head. This Daniel is making you...”
“Jess!” — I shouted and she shut. — “As soon as I finish I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” — I said before she started her speech again. I heard when she huffed out of the bathroom, slamming the door.
I loved Jess from the bottom of my heart, but when she started speaking, My God! I felt like sticking my socks inside her mouth.
When I left she sat on the table while shaking my note in the air. I smiled and turned back to her, searching for something to put on. My clothes were all over the floor and the other halve inside my bag beside the table. The only clothes available were inside the oak dresser beside the window. This might do, I thought while putting on my white dress with laces on the sleeves and looking at the mirror.
“So he became your charming prince? Yellow roses?” — She knew how much I loved yellow roses. I shrugged while trying to find some panties in my bag.
“We’re trying to make things go right.” — I said lightly while sitting beside her on the bed and brushed my hair.
“That’s it? You made me wait all this time just to say ‘we’re making things goright’? I want some nasty details. Did you have sex?
I look at her with wide-open eyes. I don’t know why I’m still surprised by this sort of question.
“I’ll tell you.”
I told her everything since I came back to the hotel until this morning, and she miraculously listened to everything without interrupting me.
“He said he loves me, Jess.” — I couldn’t forget the words.
“I told you something was going on. After all that you told me about the trip and the conversation you had, I had no doubt. ”
“Yes, I know. But I still have a lot of unanswered questions.” — I look at her with concern.
“One thing at a time, Elena” — She got up and grabbed her purse.
“Where are you going?” — I didn’t want her to leave yet because I missed spending long afternoons speaking with Jess, like we did when we were teenagers and then in college. We used to sleep at each other’s house a lot and I missed the conversations, although she wouldn’t let me speak much.
“We’re having lunch, get your bag. I’m starving.”
I looked at the mirror and got my light blue cardigan as we left to the hallway.
We had lunch downtown and she told me about the end of her relationship. It was the second this year. I always thought she demanded too much from the men she dated.
“Tomorrow, don’t forget.” — She made me promise we’d have dinner with her.
It was near 5 p.m. when we said goodbye. I went to a convenience store on the way and bought a bottle of red wine made in Napa Valley. I hope he likes this one, I thought as I looked for some information on the label. I bought toasts, cheese, strawberries and other dry fruits and a plaid printed towel. I also bought a lantern and a basket, besides a blanket. Nights in San Francisco are usually cold and windy, I should have brought a warmer coat. I sent him a message and caught a bus to Crissy Field.
I organized our little picnic at the beach and sat on the soft sand, waiting for his arrival. He didn’t take long.
I stood still while observing that handsome man walking on the sand with his trousers folded to his
shins, the shoes in one hand and his coat in the other. His light blue shirt was unbuttoned on the top and his hair messier than usual. I really am very lucky, I thought while looking at him and when he met me, he gave me a smile. I don’t think I deserve all this.
Oh! Of course you do, Elena!
The sun was setting down the horizon and besides us; there was only one couple and a dog at the beach. It was a beautiful afternoon and not windy at all. The temperature was still high.
He sat beside me and kissed my hair. We looked at the sea and didn’t say anything while the sun went down to slowly kiss the water giving place to a beautiful night illuminated by the Golden Gate Bridge lights.
He only opened his mouth when it was night, as if he’d ruin the show if he’d said anything before that.
“Hi” — His lips touched mine, slowly. — “I missed you today.”
“I know.” — I teased him. He held my face with both hands and touched my nose with his.
“No, you don’t. I counted the time to see you again.” — And he kissed me passionately while his tongue invaded my mouth and made me forget where I was. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him. He resisted but finally gave up. — “This perfume…” — He started talking, but stopped the sentence in the middle while pulling my arm and smelling my neck. — “Light and blue.”
“Someone told me you like it.”
“I really do.” — He bit my chin before coming to my lips. — “But in you, it’s far better.” — He kissed me again and held me with his strong arms. We were very close and he pressed his hips against mine.
He needed to stop or… no, he didn’t. Yes, he did” I could still see that dog running right in front of us, and that meant the owners were close. When I finally pushed him away he was smiling.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” — I tried to keep calm, and that wasn’t easy being around him.
“I do, please.”
He cut the cheese while I filled our glasses of wine and put it on the toasts. — “I like that.” — He pointed to our little picnic. After drinking the wine he said. —“Did you choose the wine?”
