by C. M. Carpi
I assented.
“The famous gate?” — He read the label. I assented again fearing he didn’t like it. He smiled and kissed me quickly. — “You have a great taste.”
I showed him some pictures I took during the walk to the beach. I told him about Jess and he told me about the meeting.
When we finished drinking our second glass of wine I already felt lighter. We lay facing each other and I kept my eyes closed, just feeling the touch of his fingertips on my face, my shoulder and my arms. It felt great being close to him, no matter how.
“Daniel?” — I said after a while and sat on the towel. He looked at me but he didn´t say a word. He was still laying down and supporting his weight on his elbow. — “That night in Milan…” — I looked away. He sat beside me and held my hand.
“You want to know why I didn’t kiss you.” — It wasn’t a question. I assented and he continued. — “Three weeks before the wedding Anna freaked out, she threatened to kill herself again and…” — He stopped talking and rubbed his eyes. — “She blamed me for the accident. We spent two years together and never mentioned the subject, but this day…” — He looked away, as if he was seeing what happened. — “That day she said everything she always kept to herself, that I was responsible for Matt’s death and their son.” — I pressed his hand harder. — “I left home heartbroken and went to a bar.” — I remembered the day he appeared with that girl in the hotel. He looked at me with eyes half-closed. — “I drank so much that night that I still don’t remember how I got home.”
“Did you... take someone home? A woman?” — He smiled, but got serious right after.
“No.” — He touched my face and caressed me for seconds before continuing. — “Anyway, the other day I woke up with her parents at my doorstep. After I left her, she tried to kill herself for the second time, cutting her wrists on the bathtub. I couldn’t stop thinking that if I had stayed there, if I hadn’t drunk…” — He stopped again and looked at the sky. Then he looked down and continued. — “Her parents and my parents decided I should break up the engagement until she got better.
“But you didn’t want to, did you?”
“No. I thought that no one besides me could help her. On the next day, she was hospitalized. The day before my trip I went to see her. She was so fragile and debilitated…” — He nodded and closed his eyes. — “She needed me, and she said that.” — I felt an ache on my stomach. — “I promised I’d come back to her. I was willing to keep that promise to heal all the wounds I’ve caused her. That’s why I tried to resist you, and you don’t have any idea how difficult that was.” — He didn’t look at me while he spoke.
I looked at him for seconds and tried to perceive something in his expression, but it didn’t show me much. I turned to watch the waves too. We stayed like that for some time, listening to the waves breaking, the sound of the wind and the horn of the vehicles passing through the bridge.
“I knew what was happening between us since the beginning, Elena. I never felt this before.”
“And now?” — He looked at me and gave me a half-smile before holding my face with both hands and coming closer.
“Now I’m with you, Elena.” — He kissed my lips slowly. — “Now, even if I want to, I can’t go back.” — He kissed me again and bit my lower lip. — “Because I can’t think about living without you by my side.” — He whispered inside my mouth before intensely kissing me. His breath smelled mint and wine. His smell made me float and his touch made me trembling with desire. His hands went down my back and stopped on my waist, pulling me closer to him before lying over me.
“What are you doing?” — I asked against his lips.
“Shish!” — He kissed me again and pulled the blanket over us.
“Daniel, we’re at the beach.”
“I know.”— He whispered on my neck with an excited voice and making me breathless. His erection pressed me through his pants. His hands pulled my dress up, slowly caressing my thigh until he got to my pants.
“Daniel…” — I was breathless. — “You need to stop.” — I heard a sound of cloth being ripped. Those were my panties. He won’t stop, I thought while he kissed me.
“Do you want me to stop?” — His breath was fast in my ear, and he looked at me with dilated pupils, I could barely see the blue in his eyes.
I tried to answer, but my voice disappeared. I closed eyes and let him go on.
I must be insane! I thought while unbuttoning his pants and releasing his erection. He went inside me quickly. I moaned and he covered my mouth with his hand.
“We can’t be loud.” — He whispered while going in and out repeatedly. — “And we need to be quick.” — I nodded as he uncovered my mouth, moving my hips and looking deep inside his eyes. Our bodies were perfectly tuned as I raised my hips to find his. His body pressed the towel on the sand and that caused a delightful feeling.
He touched my forehead with his while moving faster. His hands held my head and he was even more excited, pulling my hair while moving his body.
“Elena…” — He clenched his teeth. — “You need to come… now.” — His voice choked and he tried to hold his moans with my mouth, but that was impossible. I couldn’t believe that only his voice could do that to me. I squeezed my body and he came immediately with me, kissing me in desperation.
We made love on the beach! That’s insane!
He rolled and pulled me next to him. I lay my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat while it went slower until it got back to normal. Only then I realized what had happened.
“Daniel?”
He moved back to look at me.
“We didn’t wear a condom.” — He stood silent for seconds, and for my surprise he started laughing. — “Why are you laughing?” — He rolled my body to face me, supported by his elbow.
“You look really funny when you are embarrassed.”
“You mean I make you laugh?” — I was ironic.
“Sometimes.”
“Daniel, I’m serious! We didn’t wear it yesterday either. And I’m not regular with my pills. I can’t remember the last time I saw my birth control pills. And then…”
He put his fingers on my mouth making me stop.
“I take the exams every year. My mother makes us do it since we were teenagers, if that’s what you worry about. And then, I never did this before.”
“What?”
“Having sex without condoms.”
“All right…” — I rolled my eyes.
“That’s true. I’m always very careful.”
“Even when you’re drunk?”
“Yes, it’s automatic. But with you it’s different.”
“Different?” — He became silent, closing his eyes before biting my lower lip gently.
“Very different. You’re different from everything I know.” — He pulled me again and embraced me while kissing my hair. — “And you’d better start paying attention to your pills, this may be more usual.”
“Why? Because I have the gift of making you lose control?” — I remembered what he said at the restaurant in Milan.
“All the time.” — He whispered in my ear making me chill as usual. — “Elena” — He was serious. I lay face down and looked at him. — “We need to talk about the trip.” — A lock of my hair escaped from the braid and he put it behind my ear. — “I need to go back home.” — I sat again and he sat beside me. — “I want you to come to New York with me.” — He looked as anxious as he did at that time in Verona, when he invited me to go to Venice.
I didn’t know what to say. I was afraid this day would come since we traveled together through Italy, and this fear had increased. But if I agreed on stopping traveling now, I’d make the same mistake I made with Adam. I’d give up on my dreams to live somebody else
’s life.
But he wasn’t Adam and I wasn’t that girl who left North Carolina four months ago. I’ve grown up and my heart woke up for a kind of feeling that people look for all their lives. This feeling is breathtaking and makes your heart beat slow and fast at the same time. It grows butterflies in our stomachs when we think about the other person or just hear their voice.
True love. The love you find only once in your life, and if you’re very lucky, twice. When it happens you can’t get away.
“When are we going?” — I asked him as he gave me a huge smile and held my face to kiss me, but I stopped him by putting my finger on his mouth. He looked at me and frowned when I continued. — “You’re taking me to Paris in December.”
“Whatever you want, love.” — And he kissed me.
We slept on the soft sand, embracing each other under the blanket and illuminated by the shining lights of Golden Gate and the stars above us.
Daniel
It was barely morning when I opened my eyes. A timid Sunshine started showing on the horizon. This was definitely the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen so far. I just had to look at Elena lying beside me to understand what I was thinking about. She had her back turned to me, going up and down as she breathed. I kissed her shoulder and she mumbled something. I kissed her neck and she shrugged, but didn’t open her eyes. When I finally bit her ear she smiled.
“Good morning.” — I whispered in her ear.
“Hmm…”
“Wake up, love.”
“It’s great being woken like that.” — She said with a weak voice. — “I’ll get spoiled.”
“You should. I’ll love to spoil you.” — She turned to face me and kissed me, but suddenly she opened her eyes wide.
“We slept on the beach!” — I nodded and she laughed. — “You left a five-star hotel to sleep on the sand!” — Now she was louder.
“I already said you could make me lose control. We’d better get going before someone accuses us of indecency.” — She assented. We packed up and I called a taxi to take us back to the hotel.
After an entire day as tourists, we ended the night with my family and Jessica, drinking beer at the round table of Hard Rock Café.
“You know, I liked you, Daniel.” — Jess said while Elena talked to Lucy and I keptmyself silent. She looked at me in a strange and funny way. — “Elena is my best friend.” — She came closer and started whispering. — “She’s very happy, in a way I’ve never seen before.” — And then she pointed her finger on my face and continued. — “But if you make her cry again, or if you hurt her no matter how, I swear to God I’ll rip off your eyes with a tablespoon.” I laughed. She tried to get serious, but she ended up laughing as well.
“What happened?” — Elena came closer and I embraced her.
“Nothing, your friend was telling me some things.” — I looked at her still smiling.
“She threatened you, didn’t she?”
“Perhaps.” — I said. Jess looked at me and shrugged, then, she looked at Elena.
“I hope he really is your prince, Elena.”
* * *
On Sunday morning we said our goodbyes and left San Francisco. I had some days off so we decided to rent a car and drive to Los Angeles.
“When I left on this trip I never thought I’d meet such beautiful places.” — She said while putting the camera inside her purse and sitting beside me under a tree to admire the sunset at Carmel beach.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“Daniel, I wanted to ask you something.” — She had her head on my shoulder when she started. I waited for her to continue. — “When you were with Anna…” — She stopped the sentence and I felt her body stiffen. — “When you were together… you…” — She stopped again.
“What do you want to know, Elena?” — I asked her directly. She raised her head and looked inside my eyes.
“Did you go out with other women?”
“Why are you asking me that?” — Sometimes she asked strange questions.
“Did you?” — And she wouldn’t give up until she got her answer.
“Sometimes, yes.” — I answered and looked at her. She looked away, but I noticed she started to play with her dress, rolling it up and down. It looked like something she’d do when anxious our nervous. — “Elena?” — I called holding her hand, but she didn’t seem to hear me, or didn’t want to.
“We’d better get going.” — She suddenly got up and started walking.
“Elena, wait!” — I held her arm and made her face me, but she still looked away. — “Look at me.” — I held her chin gently but she didn’t look at me. — “Elena, please? You asked me and I answered. I really don’t know why you are asking me that or why you’re nervous. That was all before I met you.” — She looked at me with her eyes half-closed. — “The fact that I cheated on Anna wouldn’t make me cheat on you. What we have is completely different.” — She looked at my feet. I held her face with both hands and made her look into my eyes. She was serious, and crossed her arms in front of her body. — “I don’t have any idea on how many women I went out with during my life.” — She looked away. – “But none of them make sense now that I met you. I’d never cheat on you.”
“I really hope this is true.” — She said after some moments in silence. Her green eyes craved on mine.
“I wouldn’t lie about it.” — She didn’t say anything. — “I love you, don’t forget this.” — She closed her eyes and her body seemed to relax.
“I won’t forget it. And you’d better do the same.”
“I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.” — I answered as I put her arms around my neck and moved her closer to my mouth.
“Because if you’re lying, Daniel” — She kissed me gently, biting my lower lip. — “I’ll do to you whatever Jess said she would.”
She seemed to smile. I nodded before really kissing her.
We spent two days in Carmel and headed to Big Sur.
“My God! What is this place?” — I couldn’t stop smiling at her comments every time we got to a different place.
After an entire morning photographing, we went to Napenthe and had lunch watching the best view of California. In my opinion it was astonishing, and I wasn’t very impressionable. Although I’d prefer to see the sunrise, the evening at the Deck of Napenthe was breathtaking.
Back to the road we went to Hill Bay to have a few beers and sleep at a small hostel because she insisted. I must confess that five-star hotelsare dispensable some times.
“This bed is small.” — I said when I lay beside her.
“That’s better” — She said while she started unbuttoning my shirt slowly. — “We can be closer the whole night.”
On Wednesday we went to Los Angeles really early and the trip took about four hours. The roads where crowded and she made me listen to Alanis Morissette and Bruno Mars the whole time. I need to change her musical taste soon. She looked at me and shouted “Oh yeah!” before singing Locked out of Heaven. I realized that I’d be capable of listening to this type of music as long as she’d sing and smile like that. I loved to look at her when she was so happy.
We stayed in Los Angeles until Friday.
“I was thinking about something.” — She said in the cab when we headed to the airport.
“What?” — Her eyes were shining.
“I think I’ll follow your advice and make an exposition with my pictures.”
“That’s great”
“’Sunset’. This will be the theme.”
“I’m sure it’ll be a huge success.” — She smiled and kissed my lips before looking at the street.
Elena
New York wasn’t exactly what I expected: it was much better! I was completely delighted by those light
s and people always in a rush. As the taxi went through the crowded and illuminated streets of the city, I felt as if I was coming back home. It seemed I already knew this place, as if I belonged here. When I looked at the handsome man beside me, I realized it was true.
“Are you enjoying?”
“A lot.” — I got closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder.
His apartment was at Upper East Side. An old 1950 construction, which had about fifteen floors. The painting was faded, but that was just a special characteristic.
It was past 2 a.m. and the hall was empty.
“Mr. Marshall!” — I jumped in fright.
“George!” — Daniel seemed as surprised as I was. — “How do you do that?”
“Forgive me, Sir. I didn’t mean to scare you.” — He looked at me and continued. — “Good evening, lady.”
“Hi.” — I answered. His hair was as white as snow, and he wore a black suit with bow tie and glasses framed in red. He looked like he’d just jumped out of a 20’s movie.
“Did you have a nice trip, sir?”
“Yes George, thanks. Is everything all right around here?”
“Yes sir.”
“George, this is Elena.” — He looked at me and gently smiled. — “She is allowed to go in and out the building any time she wants.”
“Perfectly, sir.”
And with a quick gesture they said goodbye and we walked to the elevator.
“George is like a concierge here. Since…” — He stopped to think. — “I believe since it was build. Sometimes I think he can walk through the walls.” — He laughed at his own comment. I looked at him and he noticed I didn’t understand the joke, then he continued. — “Over time you’ll understand what I’m talking about.”
He lived at the rooftop apartment. I should have known it, I thought as the elevator doors opened and an enormous living room emerged. The floor was perfectly white and shining, making a perfect contrast with the wooden furniture. The walls had tons of sand and glass windows going all the way to the floor allowed us to see the lights of the sleepless town. A XX century clock stood between the windows, and in front of them, there was a fireplace across the room. A black leather couch and two armchairs filled with light blue and gray pillows and a carpet in vibrant colors gave life to the environment. It must be really nice to stay here during winter nights.
