Enduring (Family Justice Book 8)

by Suzanne Halliday

  He didn’t ask or seek permission—not after her eyes flared at his aggressiveness. With a growl, he claimed her lips and crushed them beneath his own. She shimmied against him, her arms around his waist and hands on his back.

  Restraint forgotten, he demanded much, and she gave all as he plundered her mouth. The whimpers and moans coming from her turned him on.

  Desperate for air, she pushed back and breathed heavily. “John,” she murmured, her voice filled with awe.

  “Is this the main event you want, Sam?”

  “Don’t think badly of me for not playing coy, but I want to be with you, John. I do. I do,” she cried and then dove onto his mouth.

  He became bold about feeling her up as his tongue danced with hers. She was trembling, and he was ready to take her breath away.

  After toeing his shoes off, he backed her up, step by step, until her legs hit the side of the bed. When she was trapped, he broke the kiss and made a meal of her neck and shoulder as she mapped his torso with her hands.

  What he did to her boobs was nothing less than a royal feast. She tasted so good, and his tongue enjoyed the alluring softness of her skin. Lust was pulling him further and further from sense. It would be so easy to take her right now.

  And then he remembered.

  “Shit, Sam. Stop. Wait. Hold on.”

  “Why?” she wailed. “I thought this what we both wanted.”

  His stomach lurched from the disappointment and uncertainty in her voice.

  He lowered his forehead to hers and held her arms. “Don’t be mad, but I didn’t come prepared.”

  “Prepared? Oh. You mean birth control?”

  “I’m such an ass,” he muttered. “I didn’t think you’d talk to me, much less get naked.”

  Her snorting chuckle sounded funny in the silence. “Well, I can see you were never a Boy Scout. Aren’t scouts supposed to always be ready?”

  “Ouch,” he grunted.

  She ruffled his hair and kissed him on both cheeks. “Well, don’t sweat it, honey. I’ll do the Girl Scout thing for both of us, okay?”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning, I take the pill. Without it, my cycle would be a monthly science project. And I haven’t been with anyone in years, so I’m fairly sure there are no lurking shadows in my sexual history.”

  “Are you saying we can still do it?”

  He needed the clarification because he wasn’t interested in slowing down.

  “You silver-tongued devil.” Samantha giggled. “You blow me away with romance. First, you’re jerking off in the shower, and now, you wanna know if we’re gonna do it?”

  “Okay. Message received. I should work on my seduction lines.”

  “There ya go.” She laughed. “And to clarify, you wonderful, sweet, adorably sexy man, yes, we’re gonna do it. Maybe more than once.”

  There wasn’t much to say after that.

  Samantha demonstrated she was a combination of shy and wanton, and he gave himself over to the sheer perfection of being with her by taking them on a slow, achingly tempestuous journey of lovemaking that left them stunned.

  She was in his arms on her side stretched next to him with her head on his shoulder as he held her hand over his heart. Her silence didn’t feel ominous, but he didn’t like it, so John asked her if she was okay.

  “I’m confused,” she whispered.

  He kissed her fingers one at a time and tucked her hand against his chest. “Talk to me.”

  Tilting her chin up, she kissed his cheek and murmured a very astute question.

  “How can you be so completely different?”

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  “I’ve never met a shyer man, John. But that was no wallflower in my bed rocking my world. And then there’s the you in the boardroom. I don’t think I understand.”

  He sighed heavily and kissed her forehead. “Well,” he began, “maybe the best way to explain is this. My dad always told me that it was perfectly fine to be shy. He said there wouldn’t be the word shy if some people weren’t made that way. And then he said something I never forgot. He said that some of the world’s best actors were shy, but that didn’t stop them from acquiring the skills and coping mechanisms necessary to be something they weren’t. When I’m at work, I’m not John. I’m Lloyd Global. My father’s shoes are impossible to fill, but knowing he had my back, even after he was gone, made it possible for me to simply be him. I feel like I’m channeling him sometimes. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m hopeless outside the boardroom.”

  “And the tiger who just devoured me in one sitting? Where’d he come from?”

  John smiled. She had a clever way of expressing herself.

  “Darlin’,” he drawled. “My dick isn’t shy.”

  She slapped his chest and cracked up. Suddenly sitting up, she pushed some hair off her face and frowned.

  “Do you think I’m cheap for seducing you?”

  He chuckled. “Aw, honey. Don’t make it sound as though I was unwilling. You just altered the timeframe. And because you did, I’m going to blow up another one.”

  She shrugged. “I’m the impatient type. What can I say?”

  Well, damn. She served up that line so perfectly, he had no choice but to ace his return.

  “You can say yes when I ask you to marry me.”

  Her boobs did a fetching jiggly dance when she squirmed around on the bed and gaped at him.

  “Marry you?”

  “Yeah.” He grinned. “Hold on.”

  Scrambling off the other side of the bed, he grabbed his pants and searched the pockets. Opening his wallet, he took out the diamond ring he’d been carrying around, tossed the leather billfold aside, and quickly returned to her side of the bed. He sank to one knee at her feet, held up the ring, and cleared his throat.

  “Samantha Matthews. I love you, and even though you haven’t said it back, I know you love me too.”

  She blushed so pretty he momentarily got lost in her beauty.

  Snorting with laughter, he said, “I’m going to ask Jenna to talk to you about using your words.”

  She chortled and made a face.

  “Anyway, my love, why wait? I’m too old to play games. Marry me because you know you want to. Marry me because I’ll love you till my dying breath. Marry me because a happily ever after like this won’t come around again. Marry me even though I’m a hopeless buffoon and will always do dumb Space Camp shit.”

  The sparkle in her eyes filled him with elation.

  “Will you, Sam? Will you marry me?”

  She made a time-out sign and giggled. “Hold up. Let me see if I have this straight. You didn’t have a condom in your wallet, but you had a diamond ring?”

  The goofiest grin he had in his arsenal spread on his face. “Wait,” he drawled, “it gets better. I also have a little forget-me-not diamond charm on a necklace for Chelsea. If you say yes, I want to ask her too.”

  “Oh, my god!” she cried and jumped from the bed into his arms, knocking him onto his back. It was a miracle the ring didn’t fly from his grasp.

  She covered his face and neck with kisses, declaring him the white knight she hoped would one day come and sweep her and Chelsea away. Away from the regret and the sadness of a life in limbo.

  Samantha opened her heart and shared how it felt that Chelsea’s father didn’t live to hear his daughter’s first cry. And she told him how lonely and harsh the long, empty years had been as she struggled to be mom and dad to the daughter she was raising by herself.

  Her honesty humbled him. He would make sure she never, ever regretted letting him in.

  Straddling his chest, she offered a lovely view of her spectacular assets as she nattered on and on. John felt the smile in his soul before it moved through his heart and onto his face. Could this night be any more perfect?

  Her hand came out, and she twinkled her fingers in his face.

  “So yes, John Lloyd. I will marry you.”

  He grin
ned and slid the ring on her finger. “And I can ask Chelsea too? She gets a say as well.”

  “Are you ready to be an instant dad?”

  “Fuck, yeah,” he crowed. “I can’t wait. And if you both are okay with it, I wanna adopt Chelsea. You’ll never have to worry about anything, Sam. I’ll tell her all about her birth father, and we’ll find traditions to honor his part in the making of our family.”

  “Our family.” She smiled and held up the sparkling ring. Then, she shyly lowered her eyes as she made a quiet admission.

  “I have to tell you the truth, John. Billy and me? We weren’t engaged. Not really. We talked about making it official before his last deployment but never did anything about it.” She shrugged, then bit her lip and grimaced. “He didn’t tell his folks I was pregnant. I guess he didn’t have time since we found out after he was back in the war. When they came by to tell me he was gone, they, um, didn’t react favorably to a surprise grandkid.”

  He stroked her arms and murmured, “I’m so sorry.”

  “When it was clear they wanted nothing to do with Chels and me, I moved us here. I don’t know why, but it felt right to get swept up in a big city. I didn’t want the closed-minded judgy types in a small town to affect our lives.”

  “I’m glad you moved, and I’m glad you held on during what had to be some tough times. And I’m grateful to whatever or whoever brought you to Lloyd Global.”

  “Everything changed.”

  “Yes, it did.”

  “Are you happy, John?” she whispered.

  “I am. Are you, Sam? Happy? Can we make this crazy brew go down smooth?”

  He wasn’t sure what was so damn funny when she started laughing like a lunatic.

  “Crazy brew?” she shrieked with laughter. “Go down smooth! Ah, ha-ha!”

  He laughed too, but he didn’t know why.

  “Why, Mr. Lloyd, is that your way of asking for a blowjob?”

  She held up the ring and sighed melodramatically. “And I suppose this means I sort of have to gag and bear it.”

  “Hey.” He chuckled with his hands held up in surrender. “I just buy the jewelry and bring the dick. What you do after that is up to you.”

  Leaning down, she dragged her swaying breasts back and forth on his bare chest before sweetly kissing his waiting lips.

  “Now that I’ve had an up-close glimpse courtesy of the main event, I think it’s safe to say that I’m very much looking forward to being your cock slut. If you’re willing to be my teacher, that is.”

  “Cock slut, hmm? I like how that sounds Mrs. Soon-to-Be Lloyd.”

  She laughed and squirmed on his groin. “Maybe we should take some measurements?”

  “You mean like seeing how much your sweet mouth can handle?”

  “I’m detail oriented.” She gravely smirked. “Simple details are best. Example: if Dick and Jane have sex, and Jane’s mouth can take six inches but Dick’s dick is almost nine inches, what is the outcome?”

  “In less than ninety seconds, you managed to get the terms cock slut and Dick’s dick into the conversation. I genuflect to your amazing ability to be filthy with ladylike flair. My mother will love you.”

  The mention of his parent had the same effect as a bucket of ice water dumped on Samantha’s head. The concern and worry were not at all hard to read as the emotion flashed in her expression.

  “Your mom. Right,” she murmured so quietly he might have been reading her lips instead of hearing the words.

  Very slowly, she lifted off his body, swung a leg, and sat with her back to him.

  John sighed, sat up, and kissed her shoulder.

  “We’re going to have a serious talk now, right?”

  She looked back at him and nodded.

  “Why are moms always a buzzkill?” He groaned. “Well, shit. If we have to do this, let’s get dressed, or my brain will be understandably distracted.”

  Samantha stood, avoiding his eyes, but moved into his arms for a warm embrace.

  “Want some coffee? I have decaf.”

  “Sure,” he answered. “Whatever.”

  Pushing off his chest, she bent to scoop up her robe and put it on as she walked to the door. With a reminder to be quiet, she apologized although he didn’t know why and crept from the room.

  The second he was alone, John rubbed his face with both hands and scratched the shit out of his scalp. A lot had happened in the past couple of hours. Sam no longer wanted to push him off a cliff, they’d made love, gotten engaged, and were on their way to round two of lovemaking when she pulled the plug and ran for safe ground.

  Mom. Damn. That had to be it.

  He squinched up his face and growled.

  Women.

  Fuck.

  He dressed and double-checked to make sure he looked human before leaving the bedroom. It was almost midnight, but that didn’t mean Chelsea wouldn’t wake up and appear. He didn’t want to scare her by coming off as weird.

  The phone he’d put on mute earlier vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that Ryan was calling.

  “Yep,” he answered. “What do you want?”

  His brother’s answering chuckle indicated how odd John’s terse greeting was.

  “Catch you at a bad time, bro? Shit, man. I thought you’d be having a shit fit because I didn’t get back to you right away.”

  John didn’t have time for this. “I can’t talk right now.”

  “It’s straight up midnight, John. What the hell? Why can’t you talk?”

  Tension shot into his back, so he rolled and shrugged his shoulders. “Look,” he grumbled. “I’m with Samantha, and this isn’t a good time.”

  “John,” Ryan soberly growled. “What the fuck does that mean? Are you okay? When you say you’re with Samantha, does that mean you’re at her place?”

  “I took your advice, Ry. Balled up and bared my soul.”

  “Whoa. What?”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled. “You heard me. Things were fine, and then Mom came up, and well, now things aren’t fine. I gotta go. Wait,” he barked just as he was about to end the call. “What happened with Jenna? Does she still work for me?”

  Ryan laughed. “Yes, but there may be a change in her status.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning, you do you, bro, and I’ll do me. And maybe at the end of the day, we’ll both be a lot happier.”

  “Because of Jen and Sam?”

  Ryan agreed and said good-bye.

  The aroma of coffee reminded John he had a woman to deal with. He smiled. Was he nervous as fuck? Yes. But everything would be okay. How he felt by being with Samantha told him all he needed to know. Nothing short of all he had to give was what this situation required.

  Chapter 14

  “How mad was he?” Jenna asked. “Is he at DEFCON status?”

  Ryan looked up when she came around the corner and scooted onto the bench seat of their booth. The ladies’ room run had taken longer than usual. There wasn’t enough cold water and prayer in the world to make any difference to the large splotch on the chest of her t-shirt—the result of a glob of red sauce sliding off the pizza slice she’d been shoving in her mouth.

  He sort of chuckled, but his face was a patchwork of wonder and worry.

  Uh-oh. This can’t be good, she thought.

  “Are we in the twilight zone or something?” he asked.

  “Why?”

  Jen felt his answering sigh as it reached her across the narrow table between them.

  “Um, well, he answered and right away got all snarly with me.”

  “I told you we should have called him an hour ago.”

  “Yeah, that’s not why,” he told her.

  The seriousness in his tone made her pay closer attention. She studied his pensive frown and slugged down a third of her soda, playing with the straw and swirling it through the crushed ice in her glass.

  His eyes met hers. The deep blue color made her feel oddly safe and comforted.


  “He’s with Samantha.”

  She almost choked on her drink when shock made her inhale wrong. She went red-faced and gasped through a coughing fit that brought Ryan to her side of the table. He pushed her on the bench seat and sat down at her side while thumping her on the back.

  “What does with Samantha mean, Ryan?”

  He shrugged. “Said he took my advice, grew a set, and told her how he felt.”

  “No!” she frantically wailed. “He can’t do that. We have to work out a plan. And then practice.”

  Ryan stroked her back and chuckled. “Babe, for real. I think this time he needed to fly solo. I mean, come on. What were you going to do? Feed him seduction lines by text on his honeymoon?”

  “Honeymoon? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is it with you two and this insane rush to the altar complex?”

  “I don’t actually hear you putting up much of an argument. And for all we know, Samantha might have demanded to know his intentions before forgiving his sorry ass.”

  The whole thing struck her as funny. John and Samantha. Her and Ryan. Was the moon full? How about a harmonic convergence? Maybe a powerful love spell? Only something wildly unorthodox could begin to explain what was going on.

  “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to be married?” Her voice gave away nothing, but that didn’t stop his mischievous smirk.

  “Nice try. That’s the sort of crap Jenna Carlton, Lloyd Global CEO’s right-hand and über efficient assistant, would say.” He moved in close and whispered, “But the whimpering sex nymph who knew the fire we played with and went for it anyway? She’s of a different mind.”

  “We were very bad,” she whispered in return. “I’m not like that, Ryan. What crazy voodoo are you using on me?”

  He nuzzled her neck and bit her earlobe. “Let’s not pretend this is sudden, okay? We’ve had a couple of years of adversarial foreplay to prime the pump.”

  She sniggered and shoved him back. “Can you please find a different expression than prime the pump? That sounds dirty.”

  His much bigger hand commandeered hers and moved to the firm bulge under the zipper of his jeans. Her eyes darted around to be sure no one was paying them any attention.