The Size Anthology

by KT Morrison

“Just lay on your back, sweetie, put those long legs up.”

  “Good idea, baby.”

  He watched her in the rear view pull that slinky dress she would normally never wear over her head and wiggle her shoulders into it.

  “You look so beautiful tonight.”

  She came forward and kissed the top of his ear. “Thank you, baby.”

  She lay back across the seats and he saw her white legs come up, she had them bent, her knees up on her chest. “Did you like what you saw tonight?”

  “You know I did.” The streetlights were whipping by as he did seventy down a forty, headed back to the Main Street.

  “I did, but baby this was crazy—we can’t do this. It’s so dangerous,” he said.

  “It was so hot, daddy.”

  He couldn’t see her face but looking at her pretty bare legs drawn up, listening to her played up honey-Southern voice had him hard in his pants again.

  “You get me so crazy, Emma.”

  The Hyundai skidded up next to her green Spark still out front of the restaurant. She jumped out before he’d even stopped it, and she ran in her bare feet and jumped in to her car. She got it going and reversed it outta there. Troy was right behind her, his headlights putting the silhouette of her hair up on the visor. She put her foot down and raced down the street towards their subdivision. Troy said to watch out for cops in town, they’d be looking for people leaving bars, but she risked it. She needed to be home.

  What they’d done back there was crazy. Playing out a dirty fantasy like they’d never done before. Played it on a level that was insanely dangerous. It could cost them their lives, their jobs, maybe their freedom.

  Craig was all right but it would have been better to find someone younger and a bit cleaner. It was so hard getting someone on the hook in the first place. It took six weeks for her to find Craig. Young good-looking boys who had (and were willing to prove they had) a nice one between their legs, and that lived in your vicinity was a lot harder than she’d imagined.

  Seeing Troy pick him up by his throat and his long thing swinging between his legs inside a condom she’d made him fill up had got her so hot. She could feel herself squishing all over the place on her seat. Troy had really planted a seed in her. He was going to do it to her all night. He was going to punish her for cheating on him. She couldn’t wait.

  She screeched around the corner into their subdivision, raced past the Elementary school and under the big water tower. She roared onto their street and into their driveway, screeching it in crooked. She yanked the emergency brake and ran into the house and closed the door behind her. She could hear Troy’s tires chirp on the driveway. She threw her purse on the floor, and watched the door waiting for him. She was on fire inside. He charged in and slammed the door behind him.

  “You little slut,” he growled at her.

  “If you gave it to me right I wouldn’t need other men.”

  He lunged and grabbed her by the throat. He said, “My dick not good enough for you?”

  “I cain’t ever feel it,” her voice a gurgle past his tight grip.

  He threw her right into the family room and she landed in the cushions on the sofa face down.

  “I’m sorry, it ain’t my fault, sugar, you’re just so tiny,” she hissed over her shoulder. He grabbed her ankles and pulled her down over the arm of the couch, her ass bent over it. He ripped her dress up, and she heard it tear.

  “Troy, that’s my new dress!”

  He slapped her on the ass, way too hard.

  “Ow, Troy!” she yelled it out. “That hurt.”

  He undid his pants and pulled them down. “Tell me you can’t feel this.”

  He shoved himself all the way into her exposed sex and she yelped.

  “Tell me when it’s in, darling,” she said.

  His forearm came across her back and he pushed her into the couch, burying her face in the cushion. He was pounding her hard and she definitely felt it. It felt so good. She was so tight and she really felt every bit of him. He was hurting her, being way too rough, but she wanted it.

  “Fuck me, daddy, fuck me with that tiny little thing,” she yelled into the cushion.

  He put his whole weight onto her back, his forearm across her neck. He was doing it to her like he hated her. He had her face pushed right into the cushion and she couldn’t breathe. She thought of how Troy choked Craig. She could picture Craig as she stood in front of them, wearing only her high heels. His eyes and his tongue bulging right out of him, he was powerless against the man she loved. She could see Troy’s big forearm criss-crossed with thick veins, crushing his neck. Craig’s shirt was open, his chest sweaty, wet with fear. His big thing shrivelled up in the condom, his erection gone and he was shrunken.

  The orgasm jumped out at her, she hadn’t seen it coming. She wanted to gasp but she had no air. She struggled against Troy but he was driving into her like a piston. She couldn’t even struggle he was so strong. She reeled, on the verge of blacking out, and the orgasm washed over her, bigger and more powerful than she anticipated. Her fingers dug deep into the couch. He pulled her head up roughly by her hair and she roared, air rushing into her lungs in a loud hoarse whisper. She still felt it, moving away from her now, but she put her head back and enjoyed the tail end of it. She was coughing and spitting, drool hanging off her lip. She was still heaving for breath when she felt Troy spurt inside her. He roared behind her, drove himself all the way in and she could feel him splashing her insides.

  “Oh, baby,” she managed, her voice strained and weak. She felt his weight collapse on her back.

  “Baby, baby,” she said, struggling to stay conscious. She couldn’t wait to tell him. His big hand turned her over.

  “What’s wrong? Gosh no, honey did I hurt you?”

  She struggled to breathe, she put her hands up to show him she was okay, to just hold on a minute. She was raspy, her throat felt crushed and sore. He pulled her up to him, put his arms around her and hugged her to him.

  “No, no, no, I’m so sorry, Emma, oh baby, I can’t—”

  She tapped him on the back, tried to get his attention. He pulled his head back and looked at her face. He was wild with concern.

  “I’m fine,” she whispered, “I’m fine...I liked it. Troy baby, you just made me come.”

  “What, I did?”

  “Baby, you made me come like crazy.”

  He put both his hands on his cheeks, stared at her wide-eyed. He was on one knee between her legs while she sat up on the arm of the couch.

  “What did I do?”

  “I don’t know Troy it was a bunch of things. It was amazing.” She put her arms around him and pulled his head to her chest.

  “Oh, baby. Oh, my word, I’m so happy.”

  “Me too, I’m so happy too.”

  They did it for hours after that til he was just dribbling when he came and they were both sore, sweaty and exhausted. He’d held her against the wall face first and upside down and she screamed and laughed when he put his tongue between her legs. He carried her over his shoulder to the bathroom and ran them a scalding hot bath and they did it in there twice. He threw her on the bed and wrestled with her as she pretended she didn’t want another spanking but she got one anyway. He choked her again while they did it but he was very gentle and slow and he let her lead the way. She came one more time from that but it was small. She was glad to have it, and Troy was over the moon. She’d really never seen his face light up like that before.

  They went on until three in the morning and both of them knew it was time to stop. All their dirty parts were hurting. He just lay in bed with her pulled to him and she felt so safe in his enormous arms.

  “We crazy, Emma?”

  “Probably a little bit.”

  “You know I love you?”

  “Of course, come on. We couldn’t be like this if it weren’t how we feel for each other.”

  “What was it like with him?”

  “Craig? It was good. He wasn’t
the best choice. He was kinda...skeevy, I guess. But he was handsome enough, and he had a real pecker on him too.”

  “That what you need now?”

  “You know it isn’t. Not really. I know he made me...made me come...but it wasn’t...I don’t know...it was the anticipation. His big thing...it did feel so good inside me...but it was knowing you were watching, knowing you were going to jump out and save me from him, save me from myself, that’s what got me so crazy. When he had it inside me I couldn’t wait to see you jump out, put the fear of God in him. I couldn’t wait to see him cower under my big strong man. After what he done to me, he hurt me with his big tool, daddy—he deserved it.”

  “Emma, you’re a little firecracker. You know I’m so sore...”

  “Let me jus see that body, baby,” she said and put her head under the sheets and it got him laughing. He could feel her under there and she had her lips on him, just kissing his stomach and his chest. It was tender and it was loving, not sexual. She had to be worn out too. She came out and kissed him and settled her body right on top of him. She was quiet, staring into his eyes and smiling.

  “Baby,” he said, “you swear you had your period right?”

  “Troy, I would never lie to you. Well, not for real. I swear, I’ve had three since Chad.”

  “I just worry about that. You know how I said—”

  “Don’t talk about bad things, Troy. That won’t happen again. We know it won’t. That was a mistake we wouldn’t make again.”

  “Okay,” he said and he kissed her chin.

  She got sultry on him, said, “I thought you’d be excited, daddy, we coulda had a son with a big dick.”

  “Naw, Emma,” he recoiled from her, slid away and she was upset that she’d hurt him.

  “Oh, baby, I swear I’m just kidding,” she said and she hugged his back.

  “Emma, it’s one thing for me to like that...but—”

  “Troy, I’m sorry, I was just trying to be funny.”

  “It’s hard to have a little one. I’d hate for my son—”

  “Troy, look at me. You don’t even have a little one. That’s your thing. This is just a game we do. It’s your game. I love your penis and if we never talked about it I wouldn’t once think about what other men might have.”

  She put her arms around him and hugged his big head to her chest. She felt sad that she’d finally found out what too far was.

  Troy sighed, “Emma, baby, we gotta stop this.”

  13

  They’d been going to the Tyler First Presbyterian Church since they moved to town twenty months ago. It was a yellow brick Romanesque church with red trim and a red roof—the biggest, grandest church in town. The Pastor was a lady, Pastor Vivian Blaylock, but they were both okay with that. She offered marital counselling and she’d been a psychologist at one time before she heard God’s call.

  Troy and Emma were sitting in the Hyundai in the parking lot an hour before service in their Sunday Best. Emma was wearing a dull grey-green farm dress with pretty white daisies on it, buttoned right up. She had her hands together in her lap and her feet were in polished brown lace ups, crossed over each other. Troy took her hand. He held it and looked at it, so small in his own large hand. He looked at her white smooth skin, her long fingers with his wedding band and engagement diamond. He kissed the back of it, laced his fingers through hers and held it while they both looked out the window. It was a sunny February morning, not cold but crisp. The sky was blue and they watched two crows diving and playing up there.

  “We should go in,” he said finally.

  They got out and Emma held her straw hat with the wide white ribbon across her chest. She had her hair back and braided and she wasn’t wearing makeup; he thought she was more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. He held his hand out and she took it and they walked up to the wide double doors propped open. They walked up the aisle in the centre of the cruciform. The organist was laying out papers, and music sheets in the apse, and they nodded to him.

  They turned left and walked a narrow polished-wood hall and down to the small office Pastor Vivian had at the back. Her door was open and she was sitting at her desk, but Troy knocked on the door jamb any way. She smiled as she rose and had them come in and sit while she closed the door behind them.

  They handled the pleasantries, talked about the nice weather they’d been having, then they all got quiet for an awkward moment. Vivian had an easy-going face, matronly and affable. She was pleasant and seemed prepared for this sort of material given her past in mental health.

  “We just needed someone we could talk to, Pastor Vivian. Someone who could help us,” Troy said.

  “Well, I’m glad that you came to me. I help a lot of the young couples in my congregation and I like to think I give them some relief when times get trying.”

  Troy cleared his throat, said, “I think we might be going through one of those times.” He took Emma’s hand again and she looked at him and smiled weakly.

  “Well, Emma I’ve already spoken with Troy on the phone and we discussed a bit about what this might be regarding.”

  “You did?”

  “Just very briefly, Emma. So there has been an infidelity?”

  No one answered, they both just waited.

  Vivian turned to Troy, said, “Have you been unfaithful?”

  “Me? No, ma’am.”

  She moved to Emma, her fingers tented together, her face troubled.

  “Emma, have you been unfaithful to Troy?”

  “No.”

  Vivian took off her glasses, “Well, I thought, Troy, that you had—”

  “Not really,” Emma said.

  “Not really?”

  “Not how you mean it. I mean, I have, but it’s more...I’ve been more faithful to him, by bein unfaithful—”

  “Emma, don’t do—”

  “Troy, you’ll have to let her speak.”

  Troy said, “But when she does that voice, that’s when—”

  “I’m from the South, Pastor.”

  “You’re from Georgia?”

  “That’s right.”

  “She doesn’t talk like this normally, Pastor.”

  She took a few quiet breaths, her eyes looking both of them over. “Well, I’m not sure what that means,” she said.

  “Pastor, she’s not taking this seriously. She told me she would, but I really don’t think she is.”

  “Emma, do you know the story of Hosea?”

  “Yes, Pastor. Am I Hosea or Gomer?”

  She furrowed her brow. “Gomer,” she said.

  “That’s a terrible thing to say,” Emma said.

  “Emma,” Troy said.

  “Well, she was an adulteress who bore a child coulda been anyone’s and God told her husband to name him Lo-Rumahah—”

  “He did, he—”

  “Name means Not Loved. God won’t show me mercy til I repent. He’ll not love me, you won’t love me, Troy.”

  Vivian said, “You can’t persevere in sin—”

  “What I do, I do for him,” she said, then, “not Him, him,” pointing to the sky. “Him, Troy, I mean. Because I love him more than anything. I’m not unfaithful at all—”

  Troy said, “Pastor Vivian, she’s wreaking havoc on me.”

  Emma took her hand away and crossed her arms. After a long quiet moment she said, “He loves havoc being wrought upon him. That’s all I’ll say.” She said it to the room, just out loud while she looked out the window.

  “We can establish a marriage mentor for you if you’d like. I think it’d be best. I can—”

  “I don’t need to offer repentance. I haven’t been disobedient.”

  “Is your behaviour sinful?”

  Emma put her head down. “Yes. It is sinful.”

  Troy put his hand on her arm.

  “Your life choices need to consider your husband but they also have to consider God, Emma.”

  “We don’t quarrel at all. I love him. I couldn’t love him more, in
fact. We want to have a baby soon.”

  “Your marriage covenant can be strong...but if Troy has problems and you don’t see them, maybe there is a problem with your relationship with God.” Pastor Vivian struggled to comprehend what could be this sexual problem in their relationship. Something so bad they won’t say it. Infidelity but not cheating...

  “A baby can be something to make you stronger and to ground you. Finding something new and healthy in your life to move on to: Psalm Twenty-three-three, ‘He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.’”

  “I still don’t think we need to be restored. I know what’s best for my Troy.”

  They got themselves outside and stood on the sidewalk together as congregants started appearing. Parking and talking and walking into the open church. Emma put her wide brimmed straw hat on.

  “Troy, I can’t believe you made me do that.”

  “You’re bad, Emma, you need help.”

  “Troy, come on.”

  “Emma, I’ve brought out a wickedness in you. I hate myself for doing it. I wish I could take it all back.”

  “Oh, Troy. I’m jus havin fun is all.” She smiled and looked up at him, but he didn’t smile back. He looked tired and anxious. He looked worried.

  She leaned into him and put an arm around his waist. “If you didn’t love it so, I’d stop it in a heartbeat,” she said.

  The church service was packed that morning, a full congregation. Troy and Emma had a good spot on the left of the aisle about midway. He held her hand tightly in his and his face was worn with worry. He was scowling and the muscles of his jaw were working while he ground his teeth. Emma put her cool hand over the back of his. She leaned in and kissed his cheek, just a light peck.

  “It’s all right, baby, we’ll figure it out.”

  Her eyes glimmered emerald in the sunlight coming through the stained glass and something told him she was right. They would be okay. They would work this out. She loved him. There was no doubt of that and he knew the feelings he had for her. If their love was strong nothing could get in their path.

  Pastor Vivian appeared from the hall and got up to the podium and she started the service. They sang a hymn and he couldn’t let her go. He held the hymn book in one hand for both of them and they read from the same page.