Alice gave her a teary smile. ‘Thank you.’
After Emily’s visit, Alice made an effort to enter into the social life of Simla. Her friend was on a mission to cheer her up. She attended the ball and took a day off from the school to go to the races at Annandale. She went to musical evenings and suppers with charades. Colin was polite but avoided groups where she was conversing. Vernon redoubled his efforts to be kind and solicitous.
Alice was hardly surprised when word quickly spread through Simla about John’s scandalous marriage to an Afghan girl. She knew Emily wouldn’t have been able to keep such a secret. Perhaps that was why Colin kept his distance, blaming her for the gossip about his friend.
Vernon came round one afternoon and sought her out. ‘I am organising a night picnic at Mahasu. It’s a full moon tomorrow. I’d be honoured if you would agree to come.’
Alice was surprised. ‘Emily hasn’t mentioned such a trip.’
He gave a conspiratorial smile. ‘It isn’t for the Aytons. I never get to speak to you properly when Emily is around. She’s very protective of you.’
‘Then who will be there?’ Alice asked, feeling a flicker of alarm. He was an imposing man with his great height and charm. She knew he was the kind of man who was used to getting what he wanted. But she would not be forced into anything with which she felt uncomfortable.
‘A few friends from the Governor’s staff,’ he said, ‘and Auckland and the Edens too, of course.’
Alice gaped at him. ‘Are you really so high up in the Governor General’s staff?’
Vernon laughed. ‘I admit I get along very well with Auckland – and his delightful sisters. And I know the best places around Simla for romantic picnics. Mahasu is a charming place – a meadow of wild flowers among cedars with a view to the mountains.’
‘Don’t you mean deodars?’ said Alice. ‘George said that was the Indian name for the trees.’
‘I stand corrected,’ he said with a bow. ‘So will you say yes? There will be fireworks too.’
Alice gave in with a reluctant smile. ‘Well, if there are to be fireworks, then how can I say no?’
Sitting under the stars, watching the fireworks shooting overhead, Alice felt she was in a magical land. They had dined by candlelight in a sweet-smelling glade to the haunting music of a sitar player. Vernon was as attentive as ever, not drinking too much like some of the other officers but making sure that her champagne glass was never empty.
Alice enjoyed the feeling of slight inebriation, so that her thoughts were pleasantly numbed and her body relaxed. She laughed and joined in the conversation more than she had done in months. On this enchanting Indian hillside in the soft flickering light, she felt that given time she could be happy again.
‘Thank you for a lovely evening, Captain Buckley,’ she said to Vernon when he dropped her back at Miss Wallace’s bungalow.
He raised her hand to his lips and pressed it with a firm kiss. ‘The pleasure was all mine, Mrs Gillveray,’ he said, holding onto her hand.
She felt a pleasant stirring of desire deep inside; a sensation that she had not experienced for a long time.
‘May I call on you tomorrow?’ he asked.
She hesitated. Was it wise to encourage this man? Opinion seemed divided on Vernon. Some said he was a hedonist who did everything to excess, others that he was gallant and misunderstood by lesser men who envied his rapid success on the Governor General’s staff. It was rumoured he would be a major before long; Alice had noticed how Auckland listened to whatever Vernon had to say. What was the harm in seeing more of the handsome captain?
‘I will be at the school until mid-afternoon,’ said Alice. ‘You may call for tea after four if you wish.’
‘I’d like that very much.’ He kissed her hand a second time. As Alice mounted the steps to the veranda she knew he watched her. It gave her a frisson down her spine. She turned at the top. He smiled, made a short bow and then walked off into the dark.
Alice saw Vernon every day for the following two weeks. They took tea on the veranda and went for walks along the ridge to watch the building of the gleaming Gothic Christ Church, which was close to completion. He took her to musical soirées and plays. They went out riding together in the cool of the evening and he organised night-time picnics with a few chosen friends.
Word soon spread around Simla that the dashing captain was courting the spirited widow with the striking fair looks. Some were scandalised that she should be encouraging such attention when she had not been in mourning for a full year. But the Aytons defended her.
‘George wouldn’t have wanted you to spend the rest of your life as a hermit,’ Emily said stoutly. ‘Let them say what they will – gossip soon blows over.’
Yet it gave Alice pause for thought. She knew her own motive for seeking out Vernon’s company was largely to quench her anger at John’s marriage. How hurt she had been to hear John loved another woman! Allowing the handsome, sophisticated cavalry officer to court her was her attempt to bury the past and to prove to herself she could live without John. But what was Vernon’s motivation? She had overheard a snide remark.
‘He’s obviously after her money. Gillveray left her a wealthy woman.’
Alice had been tempted to tell the gossips, hiding behind their fans, that a large part of her fortune was her own. It troubled her that this might be why Vernon was pursuing her so relentlessly.
‘Why do you wish to spend so much time with me?’ Alice asked him as they sat on her veranda one evening, watching thunder clouds building beyond the trees. The monsoon was imminent. ‘There are prettier, younger and more eligible women in Simla this season. I hope it’s not because you’re feeling sorry for me.’
Vernon reached over and took her hand, squeezing it in his large one. ‘How could you think such a thing?’ he protested. ‘I care nothing for the silly girls newly out from England. You are the most fascinating and desirable woman I’ve ever met.’
Alice could not help being flattered. But she needed to be sure.
‘You must know that we are the talk of Simla drawing rooms this summer?’ she said. ‘Some say your interest in me is only because of my wealth.’
He flinched. It reminded her of how she had once slapped him for being impertinent about John.
‘My dear Mrs Gillveray,’ he said, his expression pained. ‘I hope you don’t think such a thing?’
She hesitated. He grew indignant and stood up. ‘I can see that you do. I thought we knew each other better than that. I care for you deeply – more than any woman I’ve ever met. But if you think so little of me and my intentions, then I shall not stay!’
Alice was startled by his reaction; she stood up quickly. ‘Please, don’t be offended,’ she said, reaching out to stop him. ‘It’s not what I think.’
‘But you have doubts,’ he said. ‘I can see it in your eyes.’
‘I enjoy your company, Captain Buckley. Isn’t that enough for now?’
‘Not for me,’ said Vernon. ‘You mean more to me than a passing summer fancy. I don’t need your fortune – my father is a very wealthy man and I will inherit everything in due course.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Alice said, ‘I just need to be sure of your intentions. I have been a bad judge of men in the past.’
‘Do you mean Sinclair?’
‘Yes,’ she admitted, glancing away in embarrassment.
‘Did I not warn you about that scoundrel?’
Alice bit her lip, not wanting to be reminded of her foolishness.
‘I know why you trusted him,’ said Vernon, his tone softening. ‘He made promises to you that he did not keep.’
‘How do you know that?’ Alice felt annoyance. ‘Emily told you, didn’t she? She should not have done.’
‘Don’t judge her harshly,’ said Vernon. ‘She only told me out of concern for you.’
‘Did she tell you everything?’ Alice asked in alarm. ‘About me knowing John years ago?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘
I must say it came as a shock to know you were the Alice of the lighthouse – and Colonel Fairchild’s daughter.’
‘I didn’t want it known—’
‘It just makes me admire you more,’ insisted Vernon. ‘And makes me all the angrier at Sinclair. The things he used to say about you . . .’
Alice’s insides clenched. ‘What things?’
‘No, I can’t repeat them. They are too callous. And he was just a foolish young buck trying to impress his peers at Addiscombe – boasting about his conquests. You were just one of the names—’
‘Stop it!’ Alice said, feeling winded. ‘I don’t want to hear any more.’
At once he was full of concern. ‘Please forgive me.’ He pulled her round to face him. ‘I would never mistreat you like that. You do believe me, don’t you?’
She looked up into his handsome, concerned face. Alice wanted to believe him. She had felt so alone this past year and she wanted to be able to trust a man again. ‘Yes, I think I do.’
‘Then marry me, Alice!’
She was taken aback. ‘Marry?’
‘It’s the only way I can show you that my intentions are honourable – that I care only for you,’ he insisted. ‘Say you will be my wife.’
She pulled away. ‘I think we should get to know each other better first.’
‘What is there to know?’ he said with impatience. ‘I think about you all the time – I desire you, Alice. It must be obvious?’
His words were so seductive – and the way he was suddenly using her first name – that she felt herself weakening.
‘I can’t make such a decision until my year of mourning is up,’ she said. ‘Ask me in a month’s time, Captain Buckley, if your feelings are still as strong.’
‘My God, you are as infuriating as you are desirable,’ he exclaimed. Abruptly, he bent and clasped his hands around her face, bringing his lips so close to hers that she thought he was about to kiss her.
Her heart drummed in sudden excitement. But he pulled away.
‘If that’s your wish, then I shall respect it,’ he murmured, ‘however hard I find being kept at arm’s length from you.’
Abruptly, he spun on his heels and clattered down the veranda steps. In agitation she watched him go into the dying sun. Her feelings were so confused towards him. She was strongly attracted to Vernon and felt the physical desire that he professed for her. But were his words just flattery – the famous Buckley charm – or did he really care for her? Alice was deeply hurt to think that John had boasted about her in crude terms of conquest. Was it true or was Vernon saying it to make her hate John all the more? Colin had said quite the opposite. But what did it matter now?
A rumble of thunder sounded nearer. Alice paced the veranda in the growing dark, glad that Miss Wallace was out at a bible meeting and hadn’t been witness to Vernon’s outburst. Alice could never have John but she could make a new life with Vernon. Was it such a bad match? They had interests in common, such as riding and dancing. Vernon had a good ear for a jaunty song. He didn’t have much patience with reading or literature but then he was a man of action. He was very good-looking and he made her feel desirable even when dressed in the widow’s purple of half-mourning.
Being with him made her realise how much she missed the physical side of marriage. Despite having kind friends like the Aytons, Alice yearned again for intimacy with a man who could be loving as well as a soulmate. Above all, marrying Vernon would mean that she would have another chance of becoming a mother.
Alice went to the balcony rail and turned her face up to the first fat drops of rain. How she yearned for a child! She knew that George would have been a good father. With a twist of pain she imagined that John was a devoted father to his child. Would Vernon be one too? Alice had seen him being playful with Alexander, tickling him till he giggled and bringing him sweets from the bazaar.
As lightning lit the sudden darkness, Alice allowed herself to imagine what a child of hers and Vernon’s might look like, a sweet-faced child with golden curls.
Vernon stayed away. Alice missed his daily calls to the house after her work at the school. She looked out for him at social functions but there was no sign of him.
‘Have you seen Captain Buckley?’ Alice finally asked Emily.
‘Sandy says he’s taken himself off to Sanpore to visit the raja on behalf of the Governor General. Did you have words?’
‘Not as such,’ Alice said. ‘But I know you told him about my past with John Sinclair when I told you that in confidence.’
‘Only because I could tell the captain cares for you,’ said Emily.
‘He thinks I don’t trust him,’ said Alice.
‘And don’t you?’
‘I’m not all together sure.’
Emily said, ‘You shouldn’t judge him so harshly. Not all men are as fickle as John Sinclair.’
Alice was tempted to tell Emily about Vernon’s sudden proposal but stopped herself. It would be announced all over Simla before she had come to a decision – even supposing Vernon hadn’t had a change of heart.
The monsoon arrived and the school was closed. Alice spent many hours cooped up at Miss Wallace’s with too much time on her hands for thinking. She couldn’t get Vernon out of her thoughts. His absence had increased her desire for him. She missed his attentive presence. She tried to paint but couldn’t concentrate. The only time she managed to stop fretting over whether she wanted to marry Vernon or not was when playing with Alexander. Alice spent as much time as she could over at Emily’s keeping the little boy entertained.
Then one day Alice received a note.
My Dear Mrs Gillveray,
I wish to invite you to a luncheon at Mahasu this coming Friday. I will meet you at Combermere Bridge at twelve noon and we shall ride out together. I do hope you will accept.
Your devoted servant,
Captain V Buckley
Alice was at once nervous and excited by the short invitation. What did it mean? It was almost commandeering in tone and yet solicitous. The only way to find out what intention lay behind it was to accept and go.
It was a day of bright sunshine, one of those clear fresh days after a deluge. The mountain peaks were visible for the first time in a week. It was a year and five days since George’s death in Calcutta. For the first time since coming out of mourning Alice eschewed sombre clothing and dressed in a pale-green riding frock with creamy lace trim and a bonnet to match, and rode out to Combermere Bridge with a servant in tow.
Her heart thumped to see Vernon waiting for her, dressed immaculately in his army uniform, astride his horse. His fair face was freshly shaven and his blond sideburns trimmed. He smelt strongly of spicy cologne. He smiled in delight but didn’t try to take her hand and kiss it as she had expected. It was a month since she had set eyes on him and, from the curdle of excitement in her stomach, she realised that she had missed him. The strength of her feelings took her by surprise. Until that moment, she had not appreciated how much she had come to rely on his company.
They chatted as they rode towards Mahasu. Vernon brushed over his time away in Sanpore.
‘Boring duties for the most part,’ he said. ‘Endless dinners and fawning over the raja. But tell me, what you have been doing?’
‘Precious little,’ said Alice, ‘since the monsoon came. If it wasn’t for Alexander keeping me entertained I would have gone mad with being confined by the rain.’
‘How is the little scamp?’ Vernon chuckled.
‘Growing fast. He can say whole sentences now – in English and Hindustani and sometimes mixed together.’
‘You’re very fond of him, aren’t you?’
‘Yes,’ said Alice, ‘I am.’
As they drew nearer to the Mahasu glade he asked her abruptly, ‘Have you missed me?’
Alice reddened. ‘I was worried I had offended you and that’s why you’d left Simla.’
‘That’s not what I asked, Mrs Gillveray.’
‘Yes,’ she admitt
ed. ‘I have missed your company.’
‘And I yours,’ he said, smiling.
Riding into the glade, Alice gasped to see that a canvas pavilion festooned with garlands of flowering creepers and ribbons had been erected at its centre. The sides of the tent were draped with gauzy muslin and its carpeted entrance lined with pots of ferns. A small band of three musicians struck up and played as Vernon lifted her down from her side-saddle.
‘How beautiful,’ she cried as he gave her his arm and they walked into the pavilion.
Low tables were laid out with bowls of food, and around them were piled soft cushions to sit on. As Alice wondered where the other guests were, Vernon snapped his fingers and a bearer came forward with champagne. When two flutes had been poured, Vernon clinked his glass with hers.
He smiled. ‘To us!’
‘Is it your birthday?’ Alice asked in bemusement.
‘No, it’s a more important day than that.’
‘Oh?’ Alice was intrigued.
‘It’s a day of celebration.’ He knocked back the glass of champagne. ‘Come on, drink up!’
Alice took a large mouthful, the bubbles frothing on her tongue. It made her instantly relaxed. She took another as he ordered the bearer to top up their glasses.
‘Are we waiting for others to arrive before you tell me?’ Alice guessed.
He moved closer. ‘There are no other guests. This luncheon is just for you.’
Alice blushed. ‘That will get the tongues wagging in Simla,’ she said dryly.
‘There’s one way to stop that,’ said Vernon. ‘And that’s for you to agree to marry me.’
Alice felt her insides somersault. ‘This is a marriage proposal?’
‘You said I was to ask again in a month’s time,’ said Vernon. ‘The only way I could bear to keep my hands off you was to remove myself from Simla. That’s why I volunteered to go to Sanpore. Now the month is up and I’m glad to see that you are out of mourning.’
In the Far Pashmina Mountains Page 28
