Alice felt her flush deepen at his blunt words.
‘So there is nothing now to prevent our getting married.’ Vernon fixed her with his blue eyes. Up close they looked a little bloodshot. She wondered if he had been losing as much sleep over her as she had over him.
‘All this,’ he said, with a sweep of his hand, ‘is to show you how serious I am in courting you.’
He took her glass from her and handed them both to the bearer. Then Vernon went down on one knee and took her hand in his. ‘Alice, please say you will be my wife.’ He kissed her fingers.
She was quite overcome. He had gone to such lengths to show his love for her. No one had lavished attention on her quite like this before; it was extravagant and generous and made her feel very special. Up till then, Alice had still been unsure about Vernon. But what more could he do to reassure her that he was serious in wanting her as his wife? Too many times in her life she had lost the ones she loved and happiness had been snatched away. Now here was this eager and ambitious officer, full of a zest for life, offering her a future. Why not take it?
‘Yes, Captain Buckley, I will.’ She smiled.
His eyes widened in a flash of surprise and then he was on his feet and pulling her face up to his. He planted a robust kiss on her lips.
‘That’s settled then,’ he said with a triumphant look.
Seizing the champagne glasses again, he bade her drink.
‘Let’s not delay our wedding,’ he said eagerly as they settled on the cushions. ‘We’ll marry here in Simla.’
‘If that’s what you want,’ said Alice, lightheaded from champagne and the speed of his plans.
‘It’s all very uncertain about Afghanistan at the moment,’ said Vernon. ‘So we might as well enjoy ourselves while we can.’
Alice felt a twinge of unease at his cavalier words. But wasn’t that what she liked about Vernon – his spontaneity and ability to live for the moment?
The sun was dipping before the long luncheon was over. Alice was almost too intoxicated to ride home. She had had to keep his exploring hands at bay and he had laughed good-naturedly.
‘So coy for one who has already known the marriage bed.’
The next day Alice tried to remember half of what Vernon had said but it was that little jibe that came back to her. He had meant nothing by it; it was just his eagerness to be intimate. And wasn’t she guilty of the same impatience? As the day for their hasty marriage grew nearer, Alice was consumed by thoughts of sharing the marriage bed with the lusty officer.
On a sultry day in late July, Alice and Vernon were married in a quiet ceremony, with the Aytons and some of Vernon’s bachelor friends in attendance. Alice caught her breath at the sight of the tall, curly-haired Vernon awaiting her in full military regalia. Despite Alice wanting no fuss, most of Simla society came out onto the Ridge to view the spectacle and comment on Alice’s dress of pink taffeta and lace as they made their way to the Assembly Rooms.
Here there was a lavish dinner with much feasting and drinking. Alice had felt that too much celebration was somehow disrespectful to George so soon after his death, but Vernon had been quite put out at the suggestion of a simple afternoon tea. Alice had quickly relented. This was his special day too and she would do nothing to spoil it.
It was late by the time they returned to Arden House, which Vernon had rented as their first home; a charming stone-built dwelling with a terraced garden and a view of the mountains. He had spent a small fortune furnishing it and staffing it with servants, insisting that she must have the best of everything.
Captain Nairn and a group of Vernon’s cavalry friends escorted them along the path with ribald comments about the night ahead. The men drank a bottle of brandy between them before leaving the newlyweds alone. Vernon poured himself another large brandy and took it up to their bedroom. His bearer pulled off his boots while Vernon loosened his collar. His regimental jacket had been discarded downstairs.
It occurred to Alice that he might be nervous. It was the end of his bachelor life. Perhaps he was not as familiar with women as the gossips had said. She tried to reassure him.
‘You don’t need to drink yourself senseless on my behalf. Let’s just enjoy our first night together.’
She went towards the dressing room where a maid that Vernon had hired was waiting to help her but he blocked Alice’s way.
‘Stay and undress here,’ he slurred. ‘I want to watch you.’
He called the maid through to help Alice undress and then lay on the bed slugging his brandy, eyeing Alice. The lamps blazed so that she felt as if she were on stage.
‘Shall we turn down the lamps?’
‘No. I’ve waited a long time for this.’ He smiled. ‘I want to see you in all your beauty.’
Alice felt uneasy but began to remove her wedding dress. The maid helped untie her stays and take off layers of petticoats. Alice was acutely aware of Vernon watching them, his breathing growing more rapid as she shed her clothes.
‘Pass me my nightgown,’ she bid the girl.
‘No, take everything off,’ said Vernon.
Alice felt acutely embarrassed. ‘Go now,’ she told the maid. ‘I can manage from here.’
When the girl had gone, Alice hurriedly stepped out of her under-shift. Finally, she stood naked before him. He gazed at her, then drained off his drink. She moved towards the bed, pulling back the covers.
‘No,’ he rasped, ‘lie on top. I want to see every bit of you while we consummate our marriage.’
He fumbled out of his own clothes. Alice could see at once that he was already aroused. He straddled her.
‘Please kiss me first,’ she said.
He covered her mouth with his, sucking at her lips. He kissed and nibbled his way down her face and neck. She felt desire flare at last. Then suddenly he bit her breast. Alice cried out in pain but he quickly silenced her with another wet, smothering kiss on the mouth. He squeezed her breasts. Then he was pressing his way between her thighs and entering her. Alice gasped in pain. Then it was over. With a grunt of satisfaction, Vernon rolled off and sank back, throwing an arm across her. Moments later he was snoring.
She lay in shock. Her body throbbed. She could feel his sticky seed congealing on her. He lay like a Greek god, his blond hair tousled and his strong limbs carelessly flung wide across the bed. All the anticipation she had felt for weeks about lying with a man and once more sharing sweet intimacy shrivelled in that moment.
Alice got up and went to the washstand. She washed and dried herself and pulled on her nightgown. She slipped under the bed covers, shivering and trying not to cry. This was only one night; it would get better. Alice squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to think that she had made a terrible mistake in giving up her freedom for this man.
CHAPTER 24
You give the best parties in Simla,’ Emily said to Alice. ‘It’s so nice to see you having fun again.’
They were taking tea in the Arden House garden and Alexander was in a swing suspended from a tree that Vernon had had made for the boy. One of the many malis that they employed was pushing the swing.
‘High! Higher!’ Alexander kept shouting. ‘You do it, Auntie Alice!’
Alice’s head pounded. She was too exhausted to get up and play with the boy. The latest dinner party had gone on until four in the morning. Before passing out, she remembered Charlie Nairn and Vernon stripped to the waist and arm wrestling on top of the table. Luckily the Aytons and their other married friends had long gone by then.
‘In a minute, Alexander,’ she said, leaning back in the wicker chair.
‘Not getting much sleep?’ Emily asked with a grin.
‘No,’ Alice admitted.
‘Lucky you,’ said Emily.
Alice closed her eyes as Emily gossiped about some new arrivals on leave from the plains and whether they would be suitable for Helen. Colin MacRae had returned to his regiment without showing any interest in Sandy’s sister.
Alice wondered how
much longer she would be able to keep up the pretence of being happily married to Vernon. It had been the strangest month of her life. Outwardly he was still the same charming, attentive cavalry captain who had wooed her. They were popular among his peers, attending every social function that they could and always accepting any invitations from the Edens to Auckland House.
They went on an endless round of dinners, picnics and dances; they attended horse racing and archery competitions. If Alice said she was too tired to go to a function, Vernon would attend anyway, rolling back drunk as the dawn light broke over the trees. The dinners she dreaded the most were the ones that they put on at Arden House. They were long and raucous with crate-loads of champagne and wine consumed, as well as port, brandy and whisky.
Sometimes, when just a few of Vernon’s bachelor friends were left, water-pipes were produced and they would smoke something pungent and strong that left them all giggling and uninhibited. Vernon would make Alice smoke too. On one occasion, the party ended with a show of dancing girls that Charlie Nairn had somehow conjured out of the night. Alice had been made to watch that as well.
But she didn’t complain. Delay and intoxication were preferable to what came after their guests had staggered home. Alice found being inebriated or drugged helped get through the ordeal in the bedroom.
Vernon had his rituals; he liked her to dress up as a nautch girl and bought her veils, pantaloons and anklets to dance in before she undressed in front of him. She would only do so when she was very drunk, so her husband always plied her with alcohol throughout the evening.
He was rough during lovemaking; she was covered in teeth bites and purple marks where he’d sucked her till her skin bruised. Alice had to wear dresses that covered her chest and arms. Sometimes she wore a scarf around her neck to hide the marks he made.
Vernon had laughed when she’d complained. ‘They just show how much I love you.’
He was always quickly aroused and swiftly sated, whereas she was left frustrated and tearful at his lack of attempt to satisfy her. Lying awake, head and body throbbing, she yearned for him just to put his arms around her and kiss her lovingly.
But Vernon seemed to see sex as a contest. He goaded her to bite and scratch him back. They would wrestle on the bed while he cried out, ‘You’re a vixen! Come on, my wildcat!’
Once, when she was intoxicated by whatever it was they smoked in the water-pipe, she scratched his face and bit his bottom lip till it bled. Yet it didn’t feel as if she were really present at this bout of fighting with Vernon. It was as if she were watching herself and Vernon from beyond the bed, seeing her anger at him turning to lust. She had got the better of him that night, pinning him to the bed with a strength she didn’t know she had while he was almost comatose with drink and drugs. Alice had shouted foul things at him and ordered him to pleasure her.
In the morning she had been consumed with shame at their debauched behaviour and wondered what the servants had made of the screaming and cries. Vernon had touched his swollen lips and scratched cheek and smiled as if he wore battle scars. She was sure that he had boasted about his uninhibited new wife to his bachelor friends for they gave her knowing looks when next they met.
Alice was thankful that Miss Wallace’s school was closed for the summer; she certainly didn’t have the energy for teaching. Her self-disgust – and that for her husband – had grown throughout the month. She avoided Miss Wallace and the families of the girls she had taught and wondered if she would be able to face them come September. She was tempted to confide in Emily about her unhappy situation but was too ashamed. She didn’t want to risk losing Emily’s friendship and dreaded that the kind Aytons might hear salacious gossip about her.
It amazed Alice how Vernon had the stamina for his work on the Governor General’s staff when he got so little sleep and drank so much, but he appeared to thrive on it.
He would come home and talk excitedly about the growing likelihood of a British invasion of Afghanistan.
‘I think Auckland is nearly persuaded,’ Vernon had said. ‘We’re going to give Dost Mohammed a bloody nose and restore Shah Shuja to the throne.’
‘Is that what the Afghans want?’ Alice had asked.
He had looked at her in astonishment. ‘Enough of them want it that matter. Shah Shuja has strong support in the country. Anyway,’ he’d said bullishly, ‘it’s what the British want that matters. We’re doing it for the peace and security of the whole area.’
As August had waned, the clamour for action among Auckland’s young staff had grown ever louder, until the momentum seemed unstoppable. Still the Governor General dithered, seemingly paralysed with indecision. The Board of Directors of the East India Company were sending frantic messages for Auckland not to back such a risky and costly escapade.
‘They’re a bunch of cowards,’ Vernon had sneered. ‘All they can think about is their precious money and not wanting to pay for the invasion, even though it’s in the British interest.’
‘Well, I can see their point of view,’ Alice had said. ‘Sending an army big enough to invade another country is going to cost a fortune.’
‘The Company has deep coffers; they can afford it.’
Alice bit back a retort that their own personal coffers were not so deep. Vernon was spending money – her money – as fast as he could. All his lavish entertaining was at her expense. She thought he had been wealthy in his own right but it turned out that he was deeply in debt to family and friends. His father, disapproving of his extravagant lifestyle, had refused to give him more than the most basic allowance. She had begun their married life by honouring his debts. Now Vernon was talking about them selling the dower house at Tolland Park to pay for the coming season back in Calcutta.
Secretly, she began to hope that if the invasion took place then Vernon would be chosen to go; that way he would have to live a more frugal life – and they would have a time apart.
‘So do you think I should encourage Captain Nairn to court Helen?’ Emily asked.
Alice realised she had not been listening to a word her friend had said for the past quarter of an hour.
‘No, I don’t,’ Alice said, sitting up. ‘He’s a terrible womaniser.’ She pressed her fingers to her throbbing temples.
‘Are you all right?’ Emily asked.
‘Do you think we really will invade Afghanistan?’ Alice blurted out.
‘Whatever made you think of that?’
‘It’s all the men are talking about,’ said Alice.
Emily’s fair face creased in sudden worry. ‘Sandy thinks we will.’
‘It would be madness, surely?’
‘You mustn’t worry about Vernon,’ Emily said. ‘He and Sandy are unlikely to get sent there. Auckland will want to keep his best men on his staff here in India.’
Alice sighed. ‘Yes, I suppose he will.’
By mid-September, in was common knowledge that Auckland was going to give the order for an Afghan expedition. A fever of excitement gripped the British in Simla as they waited to hear which brigades and staff officers would be chosen to go. Information leaked out that three forces were to be amassed: a Bengal army, a Bombay army and an army to be led by the ageing exiled Shah Shuja.
Vernon threw a party in celebration, boasting that he expected to be among the elite picked to go. Arden House and garden overflowed with officers, officials, their wives and dependants as they toasted the success of the expedition. There was feasting and dancing, fireworks and drinking late into the night.
No one noticed Alice slip away to the edge of the garden and sit under a deodar tree watching the revelries from afar. Vernon was flirting with a group of young unmarried women but she didn’t care. She was hardly speaking to him. They had argued all week about whether she should return to teach at the native school. Alice had been shocked by his disdain.
‘Why do you want to go and teach those wretched heathens?’
‘I thought you admired my work at the school?’
; ‘It might have been all right for a widow to do such a thing. But you are a cavalry officer’s wife now and such work is beneath your dignity.’
‘Don’t be such a prig,’ Alice had said.
He had seized her by the arms and shaken her. ‘Don’t you speak to me like that! You will do as I say on this matter.’
Alice had been determined not to, but when she went to the school in defiance, Miss Wallace had turned her away.
‘Captain Buckley has made it clear you are not to help out.’
Alice did not know which of them was the more embarrassed. She wondered what threats Vernon had made to the kind-hearted woman.
‘I’ll send a donation,’ Alice had promised.
As she sat in the shadows, Alice seethed at the memory. She prayed for two things: that Vernon would be sent to Afghanistan and that she would fall pregnant before he left.
On the first of October, Governor General Auckland issued a manifesto from Simla: the power of Dost Mohammed and his Barukzai tribe in Afghanistan were to be destroyed and the rightful amir, Shah Shuja of the Suddozai royal house, was to be given back the throne of his ancestors. Dost Mohammed had forfeited his throne by his unprovoked attack on Ranjit Singh of the Sikhs in 1836 and his intriguing with the Russians and Persians. The British would escort Shah Shuja to Kabul and reunite him with his loyal subjects. The Persians, who were threatening Herat, would be repulsed. Once the unity and prosperity of the Afghan peoples had been restored, the British would swiftly withdraw from Afghanistan and leave it to be governed by its own people.
The Governor General delayed his return to Calcutta. Rumour spread that he was reluctant to face his older advisors, who were cautioning against military intervention. Officially, it was so he could be nearer at hand to issue orders to the army that was being assembled on the plains below Simla – along the banks of the rivers Sutlej and Indus.
In the Far Pashmina Mountains Page 29
