Tools of Ignorance: Lisa's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  “Oh, don’t even say that.” Marlee finished her note and recapped the pen. “You know, you floored me that day you came out to me. I had no idea about you, but I think after two weeks I’m finally over the shock.” She sat down at the table across from Lisa.

  “Sorry about that, but I had to come out to you. You looked so miserable, and I figured you might need somebody to talk you. I knew you and Susie had hooked up.”

  Marlee put her head down on the table, clearly embarrassed. “I can’t believe it was so obvious,” she mumbled into the table.

  “Only to me. Like I told you that day, it takes one to know one.”

  Marlee sat back up. “Yeah, but I didn’t know about you. Or Sam. Or even me for that matter.” She chuckled and leaned closer. “Lisa, I didn’t even know if Susie was, you know, gay, when I told her that I liked her.”

  Lisa’s mouth dropped open. “You came out to Susie, but you didn’t know if she was gay? That took a lot of courage.”

  Marlee grinned. “But it worked out, right?”

  Lisa nodded. “You’re lucky, but, geez, we have to fine tune your gaydar. When did you know for sure you were gay?” Which obviously had nothing to do with me.

  “The first time I saw Susie run out to left field.”

  “At our first game against them this year?”

  “Oh, no, no.” Marlee shook her head. “Before that. Jeri and I drove out to East Valley to watch them play Southbridge.”

  “Oh, now I see why you were so distracted when we played them the first time. You had a little crush on a certain East Valley left fielder, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah.” Marlee nodded and blushed again. “Sorry.” She sighed. “This is all so new to me.”

  Lisa grinned. “So, how are things now that you and Susie are back together?”

  “It’s great. She’s great. Man, I can’t believe how much I like her.”

  Lisa smiled and firmly closed the lid on her short-lived crush on Marlee.

  Marlee scrunched up her face in embarrassment. “She came out here last night, and we went to Lake Birch.”

  “Lake Birch, eh?” Lisa waggled her eyebrows.

  “Oh, shut up. So how’s Sam?” Marlee singsonged.

  “She’s amazing, absolutely amazing. And before you ask, she went after me.”

  “She did, did she?”

  Lisa nodded and felt her face get warm.

  “Sam’s cool. I like her.”

  “Me, too.” Lisa grinned.

  “No kidding.”

  “Hey, does your Mom know about you yet?”

  Marlee shook her head.

  “Are you going to tell her?”

  Marlee shrugged. “I guess so. I just don’t know how or when or where.”

  “Me, neither. I’m going to tell my parents eventually. I mean, c’mon, when I was in seventh grade, I knew I liked girls.”

  Marlee laughed. “You knew in seventh, but it took me until eleventh to figure it out.” She looked at her watch again. “I wish they lived closer.”

  “Especially since we can’t drive out there on our own yet.”

  Marlee grinned. “I’m getting my license on June eleventh.”

  “Is that your birthday?”

  Marlee nodded.

  Why hadn’t she known Marlee’s birth date? Lisa almost laughed out loud when she realized she had been a terrible stalker, but thank goodness those days were over. She didn’t know when Sam’s birthday was, either. That was definitely something she had to find out fast. She wondered if Marlee knew when Susie’s birthday was. Speaking of Susie…

  “Hey, Marlee, why did Susie break up with you, anyway?” Lisa cringed. “Oh, geez, that was a little abrupt. Sorry. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

  “Oh, no, it’s okay. I mean I can’t tell you every sordid detail, but I’ll make a long story short. Christy got jealous of the time Susie spent with me. She thought Susie was telling me private stuff about her. Which she absolutely wasn’t.”

  “Susie broke up with you over that?”

  “Yeah, she couldn’t stand the pressure Christy put on her. And when Christy threw that pitch at me—”

  “Allegedly threw that pitch at you,” Lisa said with a grin.

  “Allegedly, my eye.” Marlee’s eyes grew wide. “Anyway, Susie thought she’d keep me safe from Christy’s wrath by breaking up with me.”

  “Ooh, harsh. Sam didn’t tell me any of this.”

  “I don’t think Sam knows any of that stuff, either.”

  “Yeah, she said Susie didn’t talk to her about Christy much.”

  Marlee nodded. “I think Christy’s learning to deal with the fact that Susie wants to hang with me.”

  “Seems that way. She didn’t throw a single pitch at your head on Tuesday.”

  Marlee tapped the table with her index finger. “Exactly.”

  Lisa heard a car and turned her head toward the kitchen window. The bright afternoon sunlight streaming through made it difficult to see whose car was pulling up the driveway.

  Marlee bolted to the window and shielded her eyes. “It’s them. It’s them.” She flung open the kitchen door.

  Lisa smiled at the excitement in Marlee’s voice because she felt the same excitement bubbling in her own body.

  Sam was out of the car before Susie turned the engine off. Lisa ran out the door past Marlee and grabbed Sam by the waist, picked her up, and spun her around once.

  “I missed you.” Lisa leaned down to put her forehead on Sam’s.

  “I missed you, too.”

  Lisa snuck a peek at Marlee and Susie. Marlee had her arms wrapped around Susie’s neck. They were kissing like nobody’s business, so Lisa decided it was okay to kiss Sam in the light of day, right there in the McAllisters’ driveway.

  Lisa leaned down and gently pressed her lips against Sam’s. She kissed Sam tenderly and then rested her head on Sam’s shoulder. Sam slid her arms around Lisa’s waist.

  “I know it’s only been four days since I last saw you,” Sam said, “but those four days have been absolute torture.”

  “Same.” Lisa picked her head back up and stared into Sam’s playful eyes.

  “I love it when you wear your hair down.” Sam reached up and pushed a lock of hair off Lisa’s face.

  “Same.” Lisa mimicked the motion and pushed a lock of blond hair off of Sam’s face.

  Lisa looked back at Marlee and Susie. They were obviously making up for lost time. “Geez, those two need to get a room.”

  “Break it up, you two,” Sam called over. “You’re gonna melt the gravel.”

  Marlee pulled ever so slightly away from Susie and grinned. “Uh, I think you two melted your own patch of gravel over there, so don’t talk.”

  Lisa shrugged and smiled. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  “Dios,” Susie said. “We’d better get going before Marlee compromises my good name.”

  “Oh, man,” Marlee smacked Susie’s arm. “You are in so much trouble.”

  “Promise, mi vida?”

  Lisa and Sam laughed.

  Marlee reluctantly let go of Susie and went back to lock the front door. She bounded back to Susie. “C’mon, let’s hit the road.”

  Sam opened the passenger door of Susie’s Toyota Celica and pulled the front seat forward. She gestured for Lisa to go into the back seat first.

  Lisa cringed, not because she was claustrophobic, but because she’d have to figure out a way to fold herself in the small space. It really didn’t matter since she’d be crumpled in with Sam. “Uh, oh. We’ve graduated to the back seat. Are you gonna compromise my good name back here?”

  Sam grinned seductively. “Only if you want me to.”

  Lisa smiled back. Oh, I want you to Samantha Payton. I want you to.

  A LITTLE OVER a week later, Monday, June eleventh, the day of the first round of playoffs finally arrived. The old yellow school bus rumbled through the oak tunnel. They were less than five minutes away fro
m the Sandstoner Fields in East Valley.

  Lisa spun around in her seat to face Marlee. “I can’t believe we have to play this game in East Valley.”

  “Yeah, well, I guess East Valley figured they’d win the North Country title like they always do, so the state scheduled the first round game there.”

  “You know what?” Jeri said. “I’m glad. Their field is way better than ours.”

  “Yeah, no kidding,” Marlee said.

  “The backstop is farther behind me, though,” Lisa said.

  Jeri grinned. “So don’t have any passed balls.”

  Lisa threw her hat at Jeri. “And don’t you get scared by that terrifying chain link fence in the outfield.”

  Jeri flicked the hat back. “Where is this team from again?”

  “Coach said they’re the Overton Corners Hornets from the Champlain Area,” Lisa said.

  “Are they any good?”

  “Of course they are. They wouldn’t be in the first round of the state playoffs if they weren’t.” Lisa rolled her eyes at Jeri.

  “That must mean we’re good, too,” Jeri said with a grin.

  “Damn straight,” Marlee said.

  Lisa laughed and whispered low, “Straight? Not you.”

  Marlee leaned in close. “Hey, judging by what I heard going on in the back seat of Susie’s car Saturday night, neither are you.”

  “Oh, shut up. There were no saints in the front seat either.”

  The bus pulled into the parking lot of Sandstoner Fields, and Coach Spears directed the bus driver to pull up behind the home team dugout.

  “Oh, yuck.” Marlee held her nose. “We have to use the East Valley dugout.”

  “Ewww,” Lisa said.

  The bus stopped, and Lisa stood up. She grabbed her gear and fell in step behind Julie. “Hey, Julie, how’s Marcus?”

  Julie turned around with a big grin. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Brown Girl?”

  “Someday you’ll tell me everything, right?”

  “Maybe.” Julie turned around and made her way off the bus.

  And maybe someday I’ll spill my guts and tell you about Sam. Some day.

  Lisa grabbed the green duffle bag off the front seat of the bus. The catcher’s gear was always her responsibility.

  Coach Spears had gotten them out of school early that day, so the stands were still empty. Even the Overton Corners team hadn’t arrived from their hotel yet.

  The Clarksonville players stowed their gear and then put on their cleats. Lisa was impressed with all the cubby holes for gear and helmets. At the Clarksonville field, they had to throw their stuff on the ground because they didn’t even have a dugout.

  “Go ahead and take your laps,” Coach Spears said. “Stretch and throw after that.” The rest of her teammates took off, but Lisa sat on the bench putting on her shin guards. She liked to run with them on, so they’d feel like a second skin to her.

  “Oh, Lisa,” Coach Spears sat down, “I’m glad you’re still here.” She pulled a lineup card out of her back pocket. “This is a scouting report on Overton Corners.”

  “A scouting report?” Lisa had never seen such a thing.

  “Yes, my roommate took a road trip and watched their championship game. She took down all this information.”

  Lisa pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t smile. Roommate, eh? Highly doubtful. She looked at the list. “Okay, looks like their number four batter likes to hit to the left side.”

  “Yes, and with power.”

  “She’ll probably be getting some way outside pitches then, eh?”

  “You got it.” Coach Spears handed the card to Lisa. “Go take your laps, now, but look over that list when you get a chance.”

  “Gotcha.” Lisa stood up and stretched her legs to shake off the bus ride. She joined the team as they finished their first lap around.

  After the laps, Lisa and Marlee stretched with the team, but then made their way behind the left field fence to the cow pen. That was Marlee’s name for the East Valley pitching area. They threw overhand for a few minutes and then Marlee stepped closer to start her wrist flicking routine. She backed up step by step until she was on the practice rubber.

  Lisa squatted down and put her mitt up.

  “Mask,” Marlee said with her hand on a hip.

  “Oh, c’mon. Do I have to?”

  “Coach said there’ll be a lot of bigwigs at these games, so we have to do everything by the rules.”

  “Geez.” Lisa stood up and grabbed the discarded catcher’s mask. She put it on. “Happy now?”

  Marlee nodded.

  “You’re so bossy.”

  Marlee laughed. “Shut up and catch.”

  Lisa laughed and squatted down. She flashed the sign for fastball. “We’re just warming up now. Don’t overthrow.” The first pitch popped nicely into her mitt. She threw it back.

  They settled into their usual warm up routine. Lisa worked Marlee through all of her pitches, and they were just about to work the ladder one last time with the fastball, when Sam and Susie walked up.

  Lisa tossed her mask aside and stood as close to Sam as she dared. “Oh, I wish I could kiss you right now.”

  Sam smiled. “Me, too, but actually we came on a peace-seeking mission.”

  Susie looked at Marlee. “Hola, mi vida.”

  “Hi, yourself.”

  “Felice cumpleaños.”

  “Thanks. Do I look mature now that I’m seventeen?”

  Lisa smacked Marlee on the arm. “It’s your birthday? I can’t believe I forgot. Happy birthday. And no, you don’t look mature at all. Never have.”

  “Oh, thanks a lot.”

  Sam and Susie laughed, and then Susie said to Marlee, “Christy wants to know if she can talk to you.” She pointed to the bleachers where Christy sat watching them.

  “Now?”

  Susie sighed. “I know the timing is wrong, and I told Christy to wait until after the game, but she said she probably won’t be staying.”

  Marlee looked at Lisa as if silently asking her what she should do.

  Lisa shrugged. “We have time. Look, Overton Corners Hornets just got here.” The big touring bus idled in the lot, and the purple and yellow uniformed players made their way toward the visitors’ dugout.

  Marlee shrugged and turned back toward Susie. “I guess it’s okay.”

  Susie smiled. “You’re the best.” She waved for Christy to come over.

  Lisa picked up her mask. “I’ll see you in the dugout, Marlee.”

  “No,” Susie said, “Christy wants all of us here.”

  Lisa raised an eyebrow. “Okay.” She moved closer to Sam and bumped hips. Sam bumped back and smiled.

  Christy made her way along the outfield fence and stood next to Susie. Lisa couldn’t believe how pale Christy looked. Christy was a big girl, strong and built like an ox, but at the moment she looked small and deflated.

  “Hey guys,” Christy said.

  Marlee nodded. “Hey.”

  “How are you?” Christy gestured to Marlee’s head.

  Marlee put a hand to her head. “I’m good. It was only a slight concussion.”

  Christy blinked back some tears. “I’m sorry, Marlee. Look, I’m an ass, okay? I had my priorities, like, way wrong, and I totally took it out on you.”

  “That’s okay.”

  Christy smiled. “Actually, it’s not okay, but thanks for saying so. I’ve been seeing a shrink now for about three weeks, and she says I need to take stock of the good things I have in my life and make sure I don’t muck those up even further.”

  Susie laughed. “Your therapist told you not to ‘muck’ things up?”

  “Well, those are my words, not hers.” Christy looked at Marlee and Lisa. “Anyway, I realized all you guys from Clarksonville were some of the good things I had in my life. So, I’m sorry I took that for granted and then made you the focus of my anger. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday.”

  Marlee
smiled. “I think I just did.”

  Christy took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Marlee. I can see why Susie likes you so much.”

  “Ay caramba, mi amiga por fin esta cogiendo cabeza.”

  “Damn straight I’m finally right in the head. What’s your excuse?” Christy said with a laugh to Susie. “Okay, I’m gonna get going. And, hey, kick some Hornet butt today, okay?”

  “We’ll try,” Marlee said. “See ya.”

  “Say hi to Jeri for me.” Christy walked back toward the bleachers.

  “Okay,” Marlee called after her. “We will.”

  Lisa waited until Christy was out of earshot and said, “That took a lot of courage, you guys.” Lisa caught the sad expression in Sam’s eyes.

  “Oh, man,” Marlee said, “I feel so bad for her.”

  Everyone nodded and Susie said, “Thank you so much, mi vida. I told her you would understand.”

  Marlee shrugged. “I can’t imagine being in her shoes. Her shrink sounds really good.”

  Susie nodded. “She is. I had to go to one of Christy’s sessions.” She pointed toward the bleachers and said to Sam, “C’mon, we’d better let these Cougars finish their warm up. They’ve got some Hornet butts to kick.”

  Lisa and Marlee waved. “I’ll talk to you after the game,” Lisa said to Sam.

  “Same.” Sam smiled, and then she and Susie turned toward the bleachers. As they walked away, Sam said to Susie, “Do hornets even have butts?”

  Lisa and Marlee laughed.

  “Oh, man,” Marlee twirled her arm in a circle, “let’s run through a few more pitches. I gotta get my head back into the game.”

  “You got it.” Lisa put on her discarded mask and squatted. She pounded her mitt with a fist. “Fire it in here, Marlee. We’ll take ‘em down one Hornet at a time.”

  Chapter Ten

  Luckiest Girl Alive

  THE UMPIRE PULLED a ball out of the pouch at her waist. “Home team, take the field.” She tossed the ball to Marlee.

  Lisa threw on her mask and adjusted her chest protector one last time. “Okay, number three, just warming up now.”

  Marlee threw her five warm up pitches, and Lisa threw the ball down to second base. She purposely lobbed the ball to make the Hornets think she couldn’t throw very well.