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Uncovering You: The Complete Series (Mega Box Set)

Page 113

by Edwards, Scarlett


  I have to jump in to give one of them an edge.

  So I take a quick, deep breath, try to steady my nerves, and come up beside my doctor. Good thing I have heaps practice disguising my internal turmoil with an external mask.

  “Jeremy, I want to be alone with your brother,” I say. “At least he did not hide any vital information from me.”

  But not like he didn’t agree to it, a voice reminds me.

  Whatever. My fury is directed at Jeremy only. If I get mad at Dr. Telfair as well, then I’ll truly be alone.

  Besides…I have a sneaking suspicion that the true reason for the anger was that I am too much of a coward to properly mourn my father’s death.

  Jeremy stops short. He works his jaw. Clenching both fists.

  Then, without another word, he promptly turns on his heel and leaves.

  His footsteps echo all the way up the long, narrow stairs.

  Dr. Telfair looks at me. “That was a close call.” He adjusts his glasses. “How do you feel?”

  “Uncertain,” I admit. Thank God I told Dr. Telfair about my anchor. Otherwise, he’d have no way of understanding what I mean. “I thought…” I swallow. “I thought the injections are supposed to protect my mind.”

  “They do that, yes,” he tells me. “But like I said before, the key to their efficiency is your own mental strength. They shield you from the worst. The rest still is, and always has been, up to you.”

  “I almost fell into the hole,” I whisper.

  “But you didn’t.” He clasps my shoulders. “You pulled yourself back. I’m proud of you for that, Lilly.”

  “How much will that prize get me?” I mutter solemnly. “If I can’t trust myself to be safe, even with the injections…”

  “No,” Dr. Telfair cuts in. “You’re not to doubt yourself, Lilly. I won’t allow it. The fault lies not with you but with my brother. I heard your raised voices and rushed back. I caught only the tail end of the argument. Tell me. What happened?”

  “Jeremy… Jeremy told me about my father.”

  “Oh.” For a split second, Dr. Telfair looks crestfallen, “I am sorry about that, Lilly. I am equally at fault. You see, I…”

  “I know,” I say. “I know, and I don’t blame you. I don’t blame Jeremy either, for concealing the fact from me. I was angry…I got so angry, all because…”

  “It’s okay,” Dr. Telfair shakes his head. “You don’t need to explain anything, Lilly. I understand.”

  “Do you?” I ask. “Do you understand how weak I feel? How…frightened?”

  He nods. “I can’t feel those things for you, Lilly. But I understand.”

  “How can you?” I whisper.

  He exhales and takes off his glasses. He rubs the bridge of his nose just the way I’ve seen Jeremy do. I get an uncanny, discomfiting feeling of déjà vu.

  “I understand, Lilly, because of the patients I’ve cared for previously. But more than that, I understand because I’ve seen the films.”

  “Films? What films?”

  “Recordings of everything that’s been done to you,” he says. “They were removed from Esteban’s manor following your rescue.”

  I swallow and look away.

  “Don’t be ashamed,” he reassures me.

  “I… I thought everything to do with that time had already been destroyed. It seemed so final. Now, knowing there are tapes…”

  “I wouldn’t let that bother you,” Dr. Telfair says. “How about some better news for a change of pace? Remember what I brought you here for?”

  “Oh yeah,” I smile weakly. “You made some discovery or other.”

  He smirks. “That’s putting it lightly.”

  “Well, I remember how ecstatic you were about it,” I say feeling my mood lifting. “What is it? What made you so excited?”

  “It’s about you, Lilly,” he says. He beckons me to a computer, which is hooked up to a huge projection screen. “Come. Take a look.”

  He types his password in to get past the screen lock. “Would you like to invite Jeremy in?” he asks. I shake my head. “Not yet. You can tell me first.”

  “Okay,” Dr. Telfair smiles. He pulls up a 3D model of a red blood cell. “Do you know what this is?”

  I’ve seen the movies. “I’ve done basic high school biology,” I quip.

  “But,” Dr. Telfair holds up a finger. “First, look at this.” One click of his mouse takes the camera into the cell, to the tightly-bound DNA strand. Dr. Telfair taps a large, heavy white machine that reminds me of an oversized refrigerator with one hand. “Thanks to this baby, I’ve been able to make out your personal DNA structure. Not in full, of course. That would take ridiculous amounts of processing power. But I’ve discovered the relevant, pertinent parts, at least. That’s what this machine has been doing for the past two months.”

  “Okay…” I say, somewhat confused.

  “But more importantly,” Dr. Telfair continues, growing really energetic now, “It’s been comparing your suitability for certain drug candidates. I’ve been working, all the time, on formulating a personalized treatment plan for you. Something designed just for you. Something that would work only with your body, your DNA.”

  “You mean, past the injections?” I ask.

  Dr. Telfair waves mention of the injections away. “The drug you’re currently taking is almost like using a blacksmith’s hammer to force a tiny loose screw. It’s blunt and imprecise. It is why there are side effects. It’s also why its efficiency will wear off in the future. To further the analogy, it’s like the screw keeps coming out. Every time it does—every time I give you an injection—it’s us taking the hammer to it again.” Dr. Telfair slams a fist into his palm with such force that I jump. “Bam! Just like that. The screw is back in, but it’s only a temporary fix. And, the surrounding area? All that span of space around the screw that bears the force of the blow? It just gets weaker and weaker and weaker, until, in the end, the mortar simply won’t allow the structure to hold the screw anymore. The hammer does excessive damage every time.

  “But,” he continues, his speech speeding faster by the second, “what we really need in this case—what we need above all—is a simple screwdriver.

  “A simple screwdriver. Any would do. Right? Go to the hardware store and pick one up. They’re a dime a dozen. All readily available. Right?”

  I nod, hesitatingly.

  “Wrong,” says Dr. Telfair triumphantly. “The screwdriver represents the plethora of drugs on the market…all the ones in production today by the big pharmaceuticals. But the thing is, Lilly: The screw…does not have an ordinary head. The threading is unique. It’s unique only to you. So an ordinary screwdriver will not do.

  “That’s what I’ve been doing, Lilly, in all my free time, in all my experiments. I’ve been trying to create the screwdriver that will forever fix the problem of the loose screw. Fix it… permanently.”

  He turns to me, then, and looks at me with an intensity I’ve only ever seen matched by Jeremy Stonehart during sex.

  “And today? This morning, while you were gone?” A smile begins to curl his lips. “I think I did it.”

  My eyes widen. “A permanent fix?” I marvel. “Why didn’t you tell me this was what you were doing before?”

  “I did not want to get your hopes up in case it never came to fruition. This was never a sure thing. But today, Lilly? Today, I think I have uncovered the key that will cleanse you of my father’s poison—for good.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  LILLY

  When I tell Jeremy the amazing news, his foul mood disappears. He beams at me and holds me tight. But not before saying, in a smug sort of way, “I knew he could do it.”

  The three of us celebrate that night. It’ll take time for Dr. Telfair to procure all the constituent parts needed for his new drug: Time, and production facilities of the sort that are not available here.

  So he books a flight back to America to make arrangements, while Jeremy and I stay behind.<
br />
  “It’s going to be magnificent,” Jeremy tells me, holding my hand. It is a warm, late evening and we are strolling by a lake. “Lilly. As soon as you’re cured, we’ll hold our wedding. I’ll make the celebration as grand as can be imagined.” He grabs me by the waist, twirls me around, and kisses me long and hard. “We can hold it anywhere in the world. Paris. Amsterdam. Barcelona. Whatever you choose. Whatever you want, will be yours.”

  “I don’t want all that,” I tell him honestly. “I only want you.”

  He kisses me again. “You have me, my sweet Lilly-Flower. You have me until the end of our lives. I am completely yours.”

  --

  A few weeks pass without word from Dr. Telfair. Jeremy and I begin to worry. Did something go wrong? Did he get held up somewhere? Is the promise of a lucid, permanent future a vanished fantasy?

  But our worries prove unfounded. Dr. Telfair calls us early one morning to say he has everything and is flying back that very night.

  Neither Jeremy nor I can sleep. We’re too much excitement. Luckily, we have a good outlet.

  We have spectacular sex.

  The following day, when Dr. Telfair arrives, we celebrate his coming like it’s the return of a king.

  That night, he prepares me for what’s to come.

  “Take three of these pills upon waking every morning until they run out,” he tells me, handing me a sealed blister pack.

  I do a quick count of the pockets and find there are twenty-one. “Is this… all?” I wonder.

  He chuckles. “No, no. These will just help prepare your body for the procedure. They will help prime your cells. Make them more receptive and more likely to uptake the final medication.”

  “And what’s that?” I ask him. “What is this procedure going to be?”

  “I’m going to be making a series of five injections into different parts of your brain,” he tells me nonchalantly.

  I blink. “Excuse me? I thought you just said ‘my brain’!”

  He nods. “Yes. That’s right.”

  “But it’s surrounded by…” I make a vague sort of motion encompassing my head. “…um, you know, my skull?”

  “Yes. It’ll be a surgical procedure. I’ll have to strip away the outer layer of bone. But the active molecule in the serum is much too large to cross the blood-brain barrier. This is the only delivery system that makes it possible.”

  “But you can’t possibly perform surgery on me here?” I ask. “I mean—“

  “No. Of course, you’re right. We’ll be returning to the Hermann Grace Medical Center where I worked. Setting that up, and doing so while allowing Jeremy to come, without exposing his cover, was the most difficult part of all of this. It’s why I was in America for so long. But,” He smiles. “I got it done, and you’re scheduled in a week from now.”

  “This is all a lot to take in,” I mumble. I look back as Jeremy enters the room. “Did you know we’re going back to the states?” I ask him.

  “I do now,” he responds.

  “And that Dr. Telfair is proposing to perform brain surgery on me?”

  Jeremy frowns, but before he can say anything, the doctor speaks.

  “Actually, it’s brain injection that I’ll be doing. Not brain surgery. They’re two entirely different things.”

  Jeremy comes up from behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “Is it safe?” he asks.

  Dr. Telfair nods. “I wouldn’t propose it otherwise. I’ll be delivering controlled doses of drugs to very specific areas of her brain. Lilly,” He looks at me. “the entire process will begin with a catheter guided by a sophisticated computerized trajectory system that will allow me to see exactly where the incision is being placed. I only need to make a small cut at the tip of your skull,” He taps a spot just above my forehead. “To initiate things. It’s barely a surgery at all, when viewed from that perspective.”

  He addresses his brother. “The entire procedure will take place inside an MRI machine. The serum will be infused with radioactive liquid that shows upon the machine. I will be able to monitor intake of the medications into her brain and through the rest of her body in real time.

  “There is…one tiny issue, though,” he says.

  “And what’s that?” I ask.

  “Lilly. Because of the current state of your brain chemistry, I am extremely, extremely reluctant to use any type of anesthetics. Do you understand that there are already powerful drugs floating around in your system? Well, introducing anything else that might alter your equilibrium can have unforeseen, negative effects.”

  “So what are you saying?” I ask. “That I’ll be sitting there, while you cut a hole in my skull, while I am fully conscious?”

  “Exactly that,” he confirms. “We’ll apply a numbing gel, of course. You won’t feel any pain. That’s not the part I’m worried about.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “When you’re in the MRI machine, you have to be very, very still. The slightest movement—a twitch, a yawn, a particularly deep or uneven breath—will cause my needle to move and miss the target.”

  “So what are you going to do?” I ask.

  “We’ll need to strap you in,” he says.

  My eyes widen. “Just like what Esteban did to me,” I say softly.

  Dr. Telfair gives a solemn nod. “Yes. I am afraid of triggering your memories. While we do this, you have to remain absolutely calm.”

  “How long will the procedure take?” Jeremy asks. His body is tense against mine. “From the moment she’s brought into the MRI machine, how long will you need?”

  “Forty seconds,” Dr. Telfair says without sliver of hesitation.

  I look up at Jeremy. “That’s not that bad…” I say.

  “Forty seconds, for each injection,” Dr. Telfair amends. He looks gravely serious now. “Remember there are five.”

  “Three minutes, twenty seconds,” Jeremy growls. “Lilly. Can you manage that?”

  “I think…”

  “There will also be a five minute lag time after each injection,” Dr. Telfair interrupts. “Time in which I need Lilly under the MRI machine to gauge the serum’s distribution through her brain.”

  I swallow hard, and look at him, wide-eyed. “You want me to be strapped on a small bed for nearly half an hour, afraid to move, terrified of what would happen if I do?”

  “In essence…” Dr. Telfair exhales. “Yes. We can delay the procedure, Lilly, until you’ve had more distance from events, more time—”

  “No!” I yelp. “No! If we’re going to do it, I want to do it now. As soon as possible. Hell, I’d do it today if I could.” I look back at Jeremy. He nods with grave approval. “I want to be rid of this thing. Rid of this…filth…for good. Until it’s gone, I’ll always feel dirty. Soiled. It’s the final step left to recover.”

  “Physically, yes,” Dr. Telfair says. “There is still the emotional, the mental trauma to deal with. But you’ve done an excellent job of that so far. I don’t anticipate any problems.”

  “Then, yes,” I nod vigorously. “Yes, I’m going to do it. Yes, we need to do it. No delays. Like ripping off a Band-Aid in one stroke. Isn’t it? Otherwise this procedure will just continue to be something looming in the distance, waiting for me to say I’m ready. Well, I’m ready now.”

  “If we wait,” Jeremy begins. I give him a hard look. He continues despite my silent protest. “If we wait, and Lilly has more time, will there be a chance you’ll allow the use of a full-body anesthetic?”

  “Never,” Dr. Telfair says. “There would be too many uncertainties. Too many variables to control. I want to reduce risk as much as possible. It’s the closest thing I can do to guarantee success.”

  “Wait a minute,” I say. “So this isn’t one hundred percent? I thought you said you designed the medication specifically for me. Coded it to my DNA…?”

  “I did,” Dr. Telfair agrees. “But this sort of procedure has never been done before. There is no precedence. Neither is
there literature on your condition. This is all new, Lilly. I am as sure as I can be. But nothing is ever foolproof.” He runs a hand over his jaw, “Particularly when matters of the mind are concerned.”

  “We’re still not going to wait,” I say. “I want to do this as soon as possible. I need certainty.”

  “Lilly.” Jeremy speaks, and he sounds hesitant. “I understand your enthusiasm. But it might be better to schedule this for later.” He exchanges a look with his brother. “Have you ever been in an MRI machine?”

  “Well, no,” I say. “But I know what they look like.”

  “Do you?” Jeremy wonders. “Yet you’ve never been inside one. If we’re talking about things that can evoke memories of your kidnapping…” He exhales. “…this might be the best way to do it. I’ve been inside one. It’s not a pleasant experience. You won’t be sedated, but you’ll be strapped in. You’ll feel very claustrophobic. I did. And you’ll have to find some way to relax, because, as I understand it, precision is of utmost importance to you.” He glances at his brother. “Are you certain this is a good idea? This early? So soon?”

  “It’s her call.” Dr. Telfair nods my way. “Only she can say if she’s ready.”

  “I am!” I insist. “Jeremy, I know you’re worried.”

  “Concerned is more like it,” he says.

  “I appreciate that. But, it makes no difference. I’m as ready now as I’ll ever be. I want the procedure. I insist.”

  Jeremy nods solemnly and shares a look with his brother. “Who are we to say no to you?”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  LILLY

  Three days later, I am inside the Hermann Grace Medical Center, in the very room where Dr. Telfair will be performing the operation.

  He invited me here so that I could acclimate myself to the operating room. It’s one big, white space with bright lights shining overhead. The floor is checkered grey and white. The MRI machine stands as the grand centerpiece, demanding all the attention.

 

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