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Uncovering You: The Complete Series (Mega Box Set)

Page 155

by Edwards, Scarlett


  “You know, I was surprised you picked up when I called,” I tell her.

  “I was surprised you called,” she says. “At first, I thought it was about—“

  “—the leather folder in James’s study?” I finish for her.

  She averts her eyes and for the first time actually has the grace to look ashamed. “Yeah,” she mumbles.

  “Do you know what’s inside it?” I ask. “Or why Angela wants it?”

  Summer winces. “Let’s not—can we not talk about that? Not now. I know I made a huge mistake.”

  “Really,” I say, sarcastically, and with too much venom.

  “Yes, really, Celeste, so just lay off will you!” she explodes.

  I suck in a breath. Maybe this wasn’t the brightest idea. Tensions between us are still sky-high.

  She turns forward and runs both hands over the steering wheel.

  “Sorry,” she mumbles. “Look, um, I’ve been trying to fix it. But my hands are kind of, sort of tied.”

  “How can they possibly be tied? You made up the rape charge, Summer!”

  “I know, I know, I know,” she says quickly. She glances out at the falling snow. “Can we just—let’s talk about you, for now, okay? How are you doing? Is it… how bad is it, Celeste?”

  I take a deep breath. “I won’t know for sure until tomorrow,” I say. “I’m going in for a full-body scan then. My last one was a few months ago.”

  “Months?” she exclaims. “Why so long? They should be checking you every damn week!”

  “I don’t think there are going to be that many changes week-to-week,” I offer softly.

  “Maybe not, but still! Hey—“ she reaches out and touches my arm. “—everything’s forgiven, all right? Nothing that happened before matters anymore. I’m not—I’m not going to hold a grudge while my best friend struggles with something like this. Okay, Celeste? I want you to know that. I’m here for you, as I always should have been.” She withdraws her hand. “I guess I missed the forest for the trees.”

  “You know I can’t forgive you unless you make things right with James, don’t you?” I say. “But I do appreciate that you came for me. You didn’t have to.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Suddenly she sounds angry. “Of course, I’d come for you, Celeste! This isn’t some game anymore. And I’m not about to lose you again, do you understand? I’ll never do anything like the shit I pulled this term while you’re around.”

  “Yeah, well you won’t have to wait very long, in that case,” I say.

  “Shit!” she curses. “Shit, no, that is not what I meant. I meant while you’re around me, while we’re still friends, while—“

  “Summer,” I say softly. “Don’t worry. I’m only teasing. I understand.”

  “You do?” she exhales. “Oh, thank God.”

  “So, are we just going to idle here, or are we going back to your place?” I ask. “I hate the view in this parking lot.”

  “Yeah, it’s kinda gloomy,” Summer agrees, and we take off.

  16.

  We arrive at my old apartment. When Summer opens the door, I’m thrown off by seeing all her stuff packed up.

  Of course, I knew she’d be moving out soon… but the difference in this place now, compared to last I was here, makes things jarring.

  “You want some water, or food, or something…?” Summer begins.

  “Some water, yeah,” I say. I take a seat at the table. “I don’t eat much anymore.”

  Summer gives me a sad smile and hands me my glass.

  “It’s not spiked, I hope?” I try to joke.

  It falls flat. A concerned look crosses Summer’s face. “Why would it be spiked?”

  “You know, like at the party?” I say.

  She stares blankly at me.

  “James’s party!” I exclaim. “Someone was slipping things into the drinks.”

  Summer screws up her face. “You think it was me?”

  “Well, I mean… yeah,” I say. “If you were planning to get back at James for a long time—“

  “No, Celeste!” Summer exclaims. She sounds disgusted. “It was nothing like that. It wasn’t like… premeditated or anything.”

  “You told me otherwise before.”

  “I was bluffing, okay?” she snaps. “And it got a little bit out of hand. Anyway. I’m getting it taken care of. Don’t worry.”

  “And what does that mean? Are you going to go to the cops and tell them it didn’t happen? Withdraw charges? Not show up to court and—“

  “Stop!” she cuts in over me. “Do you even know how the whole process works? You’re making shit up, Celeste! This isn’t going to court. It’ll get resolved long before that.” She exhales. “Just… trust me, okay? I know I don’t have the best track record for that—“

  “You can say that again,” I mutter.

  She shoots me an exasperated look. “But I’m not completely evil, okay? I just got—I was sucked into it, okay?”

  “By who? Angela?”

  “Yes, her!” Summer’s mouth forms a thin line. “She found out I was pissy with you and James. She suggested a little payback. I didn’t know what she had in mind until that night!”

  “So when you called the cops—“

  “She called them, Celeste. Not me.”

  I’m a little surprised. “Oh,” I say.

  “Yeah. She called them and said there’s been a rape, and they arrived, and I—I don’t fucking know! She told me to just go with it! But she promised it wouldn’t go all the way to like, actual legal action being taken against James.”

  “So what, the cops came, and you told them—“

  “I didn’t tell them shit,” Summer barks. “I was nearly passed out. Totally intoxicated. Angela’s the one who said she saw everything. I couldn’t put together a single coherent sentence.”

  I look at her and start to see the situation in a new light.

  Angela was the aggressor here. Not Summer.

  James was completely right when he said they didn’t have a case.

  “So see? I wouldn’t very well go up and testify against James in court. I was black out drunk!”

  “So then the next morning…?” I ask.

  She sighs again. “The next morning I woke up in Angela’s apartment. I couldn’t remember for the life of me how I got there. She told me what happened… what she did… and that the cops wanted to talk to me as soon as I was available…”

  “Did you?”

  “No!” she exclaims. “Fuck no! I didn’t say shit, Celeste.”

  “But you were so proud over the police report you showed me in class,” I say.

  She grunts. “I was trapped. You know I don’t do anything half-assed. It was all or nothing. God!” she exclaims and stalks to the fridge for a beer. She drops it on the table and snaps off the top. She takes a good, long swallow.

  “Listen.” She sounds calmer. “It all happened so fast. I don’t know, Celeste! I was stupid, what can I say?”

  “You could apologize.”

  “I already did! Many times! Wasn’t this whole confession good enough for you?”

  “I meant to James,” I mutter.

  “Oh.” She blinks. “Oh, well. Yes, I guess I should. But hey—why did you call me to pick you up? Where is he?”

  “We had a fight,” I admit, running my fingers over my leg. It’s a nervous habit I’ve only recently developed.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” I sigh, and tell her about what happened.

  I don’t know why I do it. But I quickly find that it feels good to just talk. To confide in somebody else. To voice my fears and uncertainties—all the stuff I’ve kept under lock and key for so many years—to an actual living, breathing human being.

  Summer surprises me. She surprises me because she listens. Not once during my spiel does she interrupt or cut me off.

  And that’s never happened before. Not since long, long ago, when we were still teenagers and had big, shiny hopes f
or how our futures were going to turn out.

  I start with just what happened at the hospital, but then I find the words about everything else tumbling out. They’re like a torrent. Summer listens, and I speak, about everything. About how shitty I felt over going behind her back with James and not fessing up earlier. About the unspoken guilt I’ve harbored for being the cause of our dysfunctional friendship. About how weak and stupid I’ve been ever since my experience with Brad.

  Yes, Brad. I’ve never told anybody about him. But I tell Summer. I tell her because, for once, what have I got to lose? I know my time on this earth is limited. My circle of friends is even more limited. Up until a few hours ago, I could count all the people I trusted with a single finger.

  James.

  James and nobody else. Yet even my relationship with him did not allow me the candor with which I’m speaking with now. Summer knew me from before and even if she and I have changed in the interim, the familiarity with each other, that common bond over our past, lets me trust her now.

  At some point I dissolve into tears. I don’t know why. I start crying, and yet I keep talking, keep telling Summer about how I hate the way we drifted apart and how I wish things between us could just be the same as they were in high school. How I wish we could stay that way forever.

  “Oh, Celeste,” Summer says softly, when I’m done. She stands up, walks around the table, and drapes her arms around me in a comforting hug. “I’m here for you, girlfriend,” she says. “And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry—about everything I did. I’ve felt the distance, too, you know? But you were always so aloof, always so confident and undeterred that I began to think maybe I didn’t…”

  I hear her voice break, and that is one of the greatest shockers.

  “…That maybe I just didn’t matter to you anymore. I thought you were blocking me out on purpose. That I wasn’t living up to your expectations. That’s why… that’s why I did all the things I did.”

  She sniffles and holds me tighter. Her body is warm against mine.

  “Celeste… I didn’t want to lose you either.” She rubs my back. “But you just… you make me so emotional. I’m a mess around you. Look at me now—“ She holds herself back and wipes away tears. “I’m crying. Have you ever seen me cry?”

  “No,” I say. I try to smile.

  And, to my surprise… it comes.

  As soon as I smile, all the pressure disappears. The gulf between Summer and me is gone. It’s been annihilated. I feel a million times lighter.

  I smile, and even though my face is wet with tears, I feel a genuine happiness blooming inside.

  “Do you know why I’m crying?” she asks.

  “No,” I whisper.

  “Because I have you back.”

  And then she hugs me again. I melt into her.

  It feels so good to be held by someone important to you. My mother loved me, but she was never a hugger.

  And this is different from when James held me to comfort me. The feel of his body against mine is laced with undeniable sexual energy. Always, always, always. There is no getting around it—not that I ever want it to disappear.

  So this type of embrace is entirely unknown to me. And yet it feel so, so right.

  I feel like I have my sister back.

  “Celeste?” Summer asks. She pulls away. “You’ve been honest with me. Can I be honest with you now?”

  I dab an eye and give a quick nod. “Of course.”

  She trails her finger over my arm, from my shoulder to my wrist. I get a small jolt of adrenaline as she does. My breath hitches.

  But then she simply turns her hand over in mine and takes my palm. “Can we go somewhere more comfortable?” She looks at the couch.

  I blink and turn my head that way. “Yeah, sure.”

  She leads me there, our hands locked together. She sits down first. I sit beside her.

  She edges closer.

  Suddenly, I get a very strange vibe.

  She licks her lips. Our eyes meet, and I see something completely foreign in hers.

  I don’t have enough of a look to figure it out. She shifts her focus to my hair, and reaches out to run her fingers through it.

  “I’ve always loved your color,” she whispers softly. “I’ve always been jealous of how sleek and dark it is.”

  “Excuse me?” I say. I try to laugh. “All I’ve ever heard out of you is how crappy it is.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s not. It’s damn perfect, Celeste. That was just me being… guarded.”

  “Guarded?” I ask. “Guarded how?”

  She shifts her legs so they’re even closer to me. I am distinctly discomforted by this point.

  I try to mask it.

  “You have wonderful hair,” she says breathily. “Such slender arms… a perfect little mouth…” she sounds choked up.

  “Summer?” I ask, growing more and more alarmed. “Is everything okay?”

  “No,” she says. She looks down. “No, it’s not. You have canc—well, you know what you have. You don’t need me to repeat it. But it—it kills me, Celeste! Why does it have to be you? Why, why, why, dammit?”

  “Hey—“ I reach out and place my hand over hers. Softly. Carefully.

  I have an inkling we’re approaching murky waters.

  “I’m still here, aren’t I? And the doc hasn’t given his verdict yet. It’s when he starts talking about the weather instead of my health that I know time’s run out.”

  I force a smile.

  “That’s not funny,” she says. “People care about you, Celeste. You can’t just give in.”

  “I won’t,” I tell her. It’s the same thing I’ve repeated to James to try reassuring him before.

  Deep down, I’m a realist, and I know it’s out of my control.

  “So what is it you wanted to tell me?” I remind her gently.

  She shakes her head then speaks as she stares at a spot on my legs. “A lie,” she says. “I’ve been living a lie. You told me about you and Brad in college. About how he affected you. Well,” she swallows. “I had a ‘B’ too.”

  “Oh,” I say.

  “Yeah,” she whispers. She’s so focused on the spot on my thigh that I’m afraid her gaze might burn a hole through my jeans. “I was scared, Celeste. Terrified. Of how you would react. At what you’d say to me. That’s the reason I pushed you away last semester. That’s why I didn’t open up to you before.”

  “You can trust me,” I say. “I won’t betray that trust, Summer. Tell me.”

  She meets my eyes for a flicker of a second. “Can’t you already guess?”

  “I don’t want to,” I say.

  “Try.”

  I say the first thing that comes to mind. “’B’ got you pregnant.”

  Her eyes widen for a moment. “What?” she says. “No! It’s about… you.”

  She fixes her gaze on my hair again. Just a tiny bit south of my eyes. “It’s you, Celeste,” she whispers. “It’s always been you.”

  Without thinking, I take my hand away. My heart starts beating much faster.

  “It’s me what?” I ask. My voice quivers.

  “You know,” she murmurs.

  A sad, lonely smile crosses her lips.

  I swallow and lie. “No. I don’t.”

  “B wasn’t a guy,” she says softly. “B stood for Beatrice. She was my second-year roommate.”

  A queasiness settles in my stomach.

  “I mean,” she continues, “some guys are hot. If they have a killer body, that is. Some of them can be beautiful. But they’re not… they’re not who I want.” She shakes her head. “They’re not who I need.”

  And then her eyes land on mine, and I see all the turbulent emotions raging through them. “You are, Celeste.”

  I’m held spellbound as she moves her head towards mine. She stops a fraction of an inch before me. “I have to know,” she whispers.

  And then her lips touch mine, and it’s a soft kiss, a hesitant one, but even I can f
eel the passion that she’s yearning to unleash. The storm that’s raging through her.

  She pulls back.

  I sit shock-still.

  “What… what was that?” I whisper. I’m stunned.

  She smiles at me. “A taste.”

  My heart is beating like a jackhammer.

  “Do it again,” I say softly.

  She smiles in full, then, and bites her lower lip. She moves toward me. Her hands come up. She brushes my hair to the side of my head and tilts her face slightly. I’m frozen in place, partly scared, partly fascinated, and finally in full understanding of absolutely all of her behavior before.

  I blink rapidly as her face hovers even closer. I close my eyes. Her soft fingers trace my cheeks. I can feel her breath against my lips. It’s warm and smells vaguely of beer.

  My heart keeps pounding.

  Our lips connect. This time I can feel some of the passion seeping through. I can feel her resistance at the same time, as if she knows that if she pushes too far, too fast, she’ll lose me for good.

  My lips part. My tongue flickers out and invites her for a deeper taste. She responds instantly, opening her mouth and almost swallowing me completely. Now there’s no more hesitance. Now there’s no more restraint.

  Now all I feel is raw, unabashed passion.

  She kisses me hard. It’s such a contrast from being kissed by James. She’s taking the lead, but not in the way he does. He’s in the lead because it’s in his nature.

  She’s leading me so I don’t run away.

  Our tongues run against each other. She sucks my lip. She’s soft, Summer is, and I’m waiting, waiting, waiting to feel that bit of something… that sparks or reflection of her fire in me, any hint or clue that my body is opening up to her the way it does to James… anything at all that tells me that maybe, just maybe, this could be right.

  …But no. There’s nothing.

  There’s no tingling in my limbs. No heart flutters of excitement. My nipples aren’t hard. I don’t feel turned on, there’s no heat in my belly and nothing’s happening down below…

  “Summer,” I pull back. “Summer, no. Stop.”

  She blinks in surprise. Then in a flash she’s on the other end of the couch, as far away from me as she can be.

 

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