Carol's Image

by Jordan, Maryann

  Carol’s Image

  Book Three

  of the Fairfield Series

  By

  Maryann Jordan

  Carol’s Image

  Copyright © 2014 Maryann Jordan

  Kindle Edition

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except where permitted by law.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Design by: Kari Ayasha, Cover to Cover Designs

  covertocoverdesigns.com

  Editor: Shannon Brandee Eversoll

  Ebook ISBN: 978-0-9916522-4-2

  [Fluffer Nutter]

  Dedication

  I dedicate this book to the legions of teenagers who have sat across from me as I have counseled them over the past 20 years. To the ones that trusted me enough to tell me about their families, their fears, their hopes, their dreams. To the ones that discussed their depression, their anxieties, their disorders. To the ones I have held while they cried in grief. To the ones who hugged me for something as simple as listening to them. To those whose smiles have lit up my office and whose tears I will carry with me always. They have touched my life and I hope I have in some way touched theirs. Many of my students have long gone on to have families of their own. Some of my students have passed away. But always they are in my heart.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Epilogue

  Excerpt from Love’s Taming

  Information on Bulimia Nervosa

  Acknowledgements

  Author Information

  Some Author Suggestions

  Prologue

  Carol (age five)

  “Carol, how many times do I have to tell you to sit up straight? Your father will be here in a few minutes with his dinner guests, and I do not want to see your dress wrinkled. Do you hear me, young lady? Do not do anything to upset your father.”

  Carol, sitting as still as she could on the hard chair, tried not to wiggle. Her yellow blonde hair, curled tightly, hung in ringlets down her back. Her white, frilly dress felt itchy, but she knew not to complain.

  “I’ll be good, mama,” she promised. Hoping against hope that her parents would notice how nice she looked, she sat as still as possible.

  Hearing the front door open, she looked up expectantly as her father and his business associates came through the foyer. Sitting up as pretty as possible, she smiled as they walked in front of her on their way to the dining room. Her father, leading the small group, walked by, ignoring his daughter completely. The smile leaving her face, Carol sat in the chair, not knowing if she could get down.

  “Carol, come in here quickly,” her mother admonished. Leading her into the dining room, she pointed to the corner chair that Carol was to occupy. Her mother leaned down, as though to kiss her daughter’s cheek, but whispered instead. “Now eat carefully and don’t spill a drop.”

  Carol, bored with the adult conversation, knew she needed to be quiet and not draw attention to herself. With nothing else to do, she concentrated on eating everything on her plate. Surely, that would make her parents happy.

  *

  After dinner, when Carol was up in her room, her nanny helped her out of her frilly, itchy dress.

  “Were you a good girl at dinner, sweetums? Did you make your momma and daddy proud?” she asked, tickling Carol.

  “I don’t think they even noticed me,” Carol admitted. “But I had chocolate cake for dessert,” she continued with excitement.

  Her nanny, clucking with frustration, helped Carol get into her pajamas and tucked her into bed. Carol was too young to understand, but her nanny knew that little Carol spent a lot of time trying to stay out of the line of fire with her parents. Mealtimes became a time for just eating as much as she could to stay out of the conversation. Looking down at Carol’s sleeping, chubby little body, she said a prayer. Lord, look out for this angel. She needs your love. She needs to feel love. She needs to find her own way and not just the image her parents have.

  *

  Carol (age sixteen)

  Running along the track at her high school, Carol continued long after the track practice had ended. Just one more lap she chanted to herself, mentally calculating the number of calories each lap would burn off.

  Her body lean and toned, she forced her quivering legs to speed up around the last turn. Finishing the last lap, she slowed down, jogging around one more time as she slowly stretched her muscles.

  “Hey Carol,” came a shout from over by the field house.

  Turning toward them, her long yellow pony tail swinging behind her, she lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. Several girls were standing next to the locker rooms, with a group of guys. One of the boys, the cutest of them all, was smiling at her, waving her over. He is so cute. But his father owns the hardware store. Daddy would never approve. Sighing, Carol walked over to her friends.

  “We’re heading out to go grab some food at the Hang Out. Wanna come?”

  Carol carefully considered her answer. She loved the food at The Hang Out, but knew the exact calorie count of every item on the menu. Weighing the pros and cons, she looked into the eyes of the cutest boy, staring back at her. Her parents would never miss her since they would be having one of their many dinner parties tonight. Breathing deeply, she knew she could be in control of the situation and have some fun.

  “Sure, just let me change first,” she replied.

  Spending the next couple of hours at The Hang Out, Carol enjoyed herself more than she had in a long time. The group shared the pizzas, cheesy fries, milkshakes, and the cute boy even shared a hot fudge sundae with just her.

  “Why haven’t you hung out with us before?” he asked, smiling over at her. “You’re the prettiest girl in school and yet we almost never see you.”

  She looked down and mumbled, “Oh, my parents don’t want me to go out much.”

  One of the girls in their group, hearing her comment, immediately began to prattle on about her parents never letting her do anything. Much to Carol’s relief, the conversation quickly became a debate of whose parents were the worst.

  As the group broke up and headed out to their cars, the cute boy asked, “So can I drive you home?”

  “No thank you,” she replied. “I’ve got my car here and have a few errands to run first.”

  They all said goodbye and Carol watched them as they drove away. Sliding back out of her car after the last of her friends left the parking lot, she quickly walked around to the back of the building. Glancing around carefully to make sure no one was around, she knelt in the grassy area and began to push her finger down into her mouth.

 
; Forcefully gagging herself over and over, she began to feel the familiar feeling of her stomach churning. It did not take long for the vomiting to begin. Leaning over, she expelled everything she had eaten in the restaurant. She wiped her mouth with a practiced hand, standing in the process. Taking a shaky breath, she walked back to her car, smiling. All those calories…gone.

  Driving home, she arrived while the dinner party was still in progress. Slipping through the back door, she headed up to her room, bypassing her parents. It doesn’t matter; they’re just in there planning my future anyway. Quietly making her way up the stairs, she walked through her bedroom and into her bathroom. Stripping to take a shower, she turned and viewed her reflection in the mirror. Blue eyes moving head to toe, she scanned her image. What do I see? A bother. A disappointment. Not the son they wanted. Perusing her figure, she continued to stare into the mirror, her image staring back. A little roundness at her stomach. Thighs a little heavy. Shaking her head, trying to get the images out of her mind, she turned to the shower. What else is new?

  Chapter 1

  (Ten years later)

  “Hi, Tommy,” came the giggling voice from the parking lot.

  God, I hate being called Tommy. Especially by someone who giggles. Tom Rivers looked over at the woman standing next to her car, recognizing her as one of his past fuck-buddies. Bleach blonde with black roots. Tight dress. Lots of makeup. She had that look…the ‘please won’t you come over here so we can start something up again’ look. Not happening. Tom threw up his hand in a half-hearted wave, and kept walking, not breathing easy until he saw her drive off.

  Shaking his head, he wondered how old a man needed to be to learn that some decisions were just plain dumb. And hooking up in his hometown when he was a detective was dumb. Tom had now taken a page from his police partner Jake’s playbook – no hometown hookups or fuck-buddies – too risky when investigating crimes in the area. And there are plenty of women in the next town over, he thought while remembering last weekend’s fun. What was her name? Oh hell, it doesn’t matter. It was great for one night.

  “Look out!” he heard someone scream, as the squeal of tires ended with a flash of pain and then blackness.

  *

  “Sir, sir…can you hear me?”

  A voice. I hear a voice. Struggling to come out of the darkness, Tom painfully opened his eyes, a blurry vision of an angel leaning over him filled his sight. Yellow gold hair, waving all about, framing porcelain skin with faintly pink tinged cheeks. Sky blue eyes, rosy mouth, perfect features. Everything else appeared fuzzy. But her face was clear. I’ve died. Is this what angels look like? “Angel? Are you an angel?” he asked, his voice slurring in confusion.

  He felt the angel holding his hand, gently rubbing her other hand over his brow. He heard her soft voice, pulling him back from the darkness. “Stay with me. Keep your eyes on me. I’ll help you.”

  Oh yeah, angel. I’ll stay with you. Forever.

  The shrill sound of a siren encroached on his angel’s voice, and he wanted to rail against the intrusion. Slowly the blackness began to take over again, but he forced his eyes open one more time, searching for her face. Yeah, she was still there. Smiling down at him. Ethereal, beautiful, glowing. He knew she had to be an angel. There was no other explanation.

  *

  Tom’s eyes opened slowly again, this time to harsh lights. Jerking his head to the right, he felt a flash of pain. Squinting his eyes, he willed the pain to lesson.

  “What the hell you doin’, getting hit by a car goin’ into a fuckin’ grocery store?”

  Tom reopened his eyes, recognizing the voice of his childhood friend and partner, Jake Campbell. “Where is she?” he croaked out.

  Jake’s eyebrow raised in confusion. “Who?”

  “The angel. She was there,” Tom answered back, rubbing his hand over his face, trying to bring the room into focus.

  “What the hell is he talkin’ about?” Rob MacDonald asked as he walked into the ER room. Rob and Jake were Tom’s oldest friends. Having grown up on the same street, the three of them became best friends in preschool. They played high school football, then college football, then all three moved back to their hometown to settle as adults. Tom and Jake were detectives with the Fairfield police department and Rob with the Fairfield fire department.

  Smirking, Jake said, “He’s asking for an angel.”

  Rob couldn’t help but join in the harassment. “Well hell, Tom, if you find an angel, be sure to share her with us.”

  Struggling to sit up, Tom glared at his friends. “I’m telling you, she was there. I saw her. Jesus, I thought I’d died, and all I could think about was how great it was to be greeted by her.” Wincing, he rubbed his head, feeling the knot on the back.

  A nurse walked into the room, stopping short when she saw the three men in the small room, taking up all of the space. All three were over six feet tall, muscular, well built, and handsome. Seeing the immediate interest of the dark haired one with the panty-melting smile, she flashed her wedding ring as she walked over to Tom still in the bed. “The doctor says you have a concussion from hitting your head on the pavement. Other than that you are fine. You will need someone to drive you home, and I have your discharge information for you here.”

  While Tom dealt with the nurse, Jake and Rob walked outside of the room to confer. Rob leaned up against the wall, looked over at Jake and asked, “What the hell happened?”

  “According to bystanders, he was just walking across the parking lot and an elderly woman stepped on the gas instead of the brake. The car wasn’t goin’ fast, but it knocked him down and he slammed his head on the concrete.”

  “What about the angel he was talkin’ about?” Rob asked.

  Jake answered, “He must have been dreaming about his last fuck… or his dream fuck. Who the hell knows?” He laughed momentarily, then sobered. “But I gotta confess, he looked so serious when he was askin’ where she was, like she should’ve been right there.”

  The nurse walked out of the room with Tom and he went to stand between his two friends. She looked at the wall of masculinity standing before her, feeling dwarfed. “Gentlemen, I trust you will see to your friend,” she said with efficiency.

  Rob, smiling as he turned on his charm, answered, “Yeah, I’m a paramedic.”

  Looking up, she smiled. “Keep your charm, mister,” waving her wedding ring in his face again as she walked away.

  Jake laughed, knowing that Rob would bang anything, anywhere. “That reputation is gonna kick your ass one day.” Turning to Tom, he said, “Let’s go, angel hunter. Gotta get you home.”

  Rob jogged off to get the car as Jake walked slower with Tom. Halfway down the hall Tom stopped, turning toward his friend. “Jake, no shit man, she was there. I don’t know if she was real or not, but she was there. And if she was real, I’m gonna find her.” With that, the two friends walked out of the hospital.

  *

  Carol walked down the hall of the ER, her shift just starting, and looked at the back of the men leaving the hospital. Wow, this must be the day for hunks to be out in numbers. Smiling to herself, she thought of the gorgeous man she assisted at the grocery store this afternoon. She noticed him as he was walking across the parking lot. Who wouldn’t have noticed him? Tall, blond, gorgeous. He looked like a…Nordic god… or maybe a Viking standing on the bow of his ship. God, I read too many romance novels. He was just a man. Well…maybe the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on, but just a man.

  Seeing the car lurch toward him she screamed for him to look out, but it was too late. After seeing him hit his head on the pavement, she ran over to assist. He was unconscious, and while another bystander called 911, she tried to keep him awake. Holding his hand and rubbing his brow, she felt an electric current running through her. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Well, maybe never.

  What was it he asked? Are you my angel? Smiling to herself, Carol knew she could have stared into his blue eyes all afternoon,
but as soon as the fire truck and ambulance arrived she quickly moved back. The tall, dark-haired fireman seemed to know the victim and immediately went to work on him, ascertaining his injuries. Knowing he was in good hands, Carol had slipped away into the store. Now back at in the ER, she shook her head to clear her musings.

  Hearing fast footsteps behind her, she barely had time to turn around before being grabbed from behind. “Hey beautiful,” her friend Jon exclaimed.

  Laughing, she pushed him off. “Jon, stop trying to scare me. Remember where we are. The last time you came up and scared me, Dr. Maklin was by the desk and threatened to report us.”

  “Oh, that troll has no idea how to have fun,” Jon stated just as Sofia came up.

  “Did you all see the three hunks in Bay 7? The ones that just left?” Sofia asked, lowering her voice so that no one else could overhear. “All three, over six feet tall, muscular, one blond, one light brown, one black haired. Oh. My. God. If it hadn’t been for my wedding ring reminding me how much I love my husband, I might have jumped all three!”

  Jon, never one to miss out on a great piece of male eye candy, just moaned. “Damn, I missed them. I was stuck in Bay 3 with an old lady swearing she was having a heart attack because she hit some man with her car.”

  Carol’s eyes grew wide. “Was she having a heart attack?” She had been so wrapped up in helping the man on the ground, she never thought of the driver of the car.

  “Oh hell, no. She was just having a panic attack. But that means I missed the hunks,” he complained.

  Carol playfully punched him in the arm as she walked away. “Maybe next time you’ll get lucky,” she called over her shoulder.

  “What about you, sweetheart? When are you going to get lucky?” Jon called out after her.

  Turning back around to face her friends, she continued to walk backward, she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. Giving a little wave, she headed back down the hall.