Carol's Image

by Jordan, Maryann

  Smiling, Carol shook her head at the memories. “Well, when I was finally out from under my parent’s thumb, I dated a little. Not much, and certainly not lasting. I gave up my virginity in my third year of college willingly…mostly to see what all the fuss was about.” Rolling her eyes, she added, “I didn’t think much of it. Kind of hurt. Sort of messy. A lot of groping, grunting, and then it was over. And I thought, this is what romance novels are all about? After that, I had a couple of more partners in the last five years, but nothing earth shattering.” Shrugging her shoulders again, “Maybe I’m just frigid and can’t get anything out of sex.”

  “I think with the right person, you would find that you would relax and perhaps enjoy a sexual relationship. Perhaps you just needed to focus on you becoming healthy first.”

  “You may be right. I definitely needed to focus on me. But now that this detective is interested in me, I wonder if I will be enough for him?”

  Ronda looked at Carol, knowing how far she had come in counseling, but knowing that there were some body issues that still existed. “In our society, you are considered beautiful. But it is what you see when you look in the mirror that concerns me.”

  Carol smile reached her eyes as she replied, “Oh Ronda, don’t worry. When I look in the mirror, I see healthy. Not too heavy, not too thin. But healthy.”

  “That is the best thing you could have told me today,” Ronda exclaimed. “Well, that and then next time you will have to tell me about the handsome detective!”

  Chapter 7

  That afternoon, Tom and Jake sat at their adjoining desks reviewing the case against the man who stabbed James.

  “Looks airtight, Tom,” Jake said. “Protocol was followed, he confessed, got the evidence, we should be good to go.”

  “I talked to Jen this morning. She said that James is doing great, and they may release him in a couple more days.”

  Jake, ever the detective, looked over at his partner. “And…?”

  “What?” Tom asked, trying to look innocent.

  “Don’t think I don’t know you asked Jen about that angel nurse you couldn’t keep your eyes off of the other day. Don’t you have a date with her soon?”

  Tom, uncharacteristically quiet, replied, “Yeah, tonight actually.” Looking up, seeing Jake’s confused look, he continued. “I don’t know, man. She is so goddamn gorgeous and yet doesn’t seem to know it. Most women I know flaunt everything they’ve got, and Carol just seems to feel very self-conscious.”

  Jake agreed, glad that his friend was truly interested in this woman and not just looking for a hookup. “She seems nice.”

  Tom nodded, “Hell yeah. Jen said she has come by every day to check to see how James is doing but that she always wants to know how Jen is doing as well. And she does that on her own time, when her shift is up.”

  “So what are you thinkin’? You plannin’ on just havin’ a new friend with your kind of benefits?”

  Shaking his head, Tom stared straight into Jake’s gaze. “Hell no. Carol’s a keeper. I know it. But she’s a mystery I hope to start unravelin’ tonight. I just hope I don’t scare her off.”

  “Scare her off?” Jake asked in confusion.

  “Look, I’m not like Rob, fuckin’ everythin’ that offers, and you taught me the good rule of findin’ my fuck-buddies out of town so I wasn’t runnin’ into them with every case we investigated. But Carol’s classy. She also seems skittish, like she could take off if scared.”

  “Then just be a gentleman and not some dick that wants to take her to dinner just to bang her…you’ll be fine.”

  Shifting in his seat nervously, Tom admitted, “Plus I like to be in control and she’s gotten burned in the past by someone who wanted to control her. Not like me. Not like I wanna take care of her.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, man. I haven’t met ‘the one’ yet. But I guess you’re gonna have to show her that our kind of control is about her, not the man.”

  Standing up, Jake slapped Tom on the back. “Good luck, bro,” he said as he headed down the hall with their report for the chief.

  *

  Tom arrived at her apartment early, not wanting Carol to have to wait. He could not help but stare at her as she opened the door. Her halo of blonde hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, with waves down her back. Her modest emerald green dress showed off her athletic figure to perfection, and her heels gave her toned legs the impression of being long even though she was a full foot shorter than he was. The silky dress hung perfectly on her figure, allowing Tom to see her curves that the hospital scrubs hid.

  The drive to the restaurant was pleasant, and he found that it was easy to talk to her. Small talk always irritated him, never really caring much about the woman he was with. But Carol? She was different. He glanced sideways, glimpsing at her profile. A glow seemed to emanate from her, a sense of peace surrounding her. Not flashy. Not in-your-face. A parade of past faces flashed through his mind, and he realized that he usually tuned out the women as they talked about fashion, movies, music, their friends, the bars they wanted to try. Carol? She was quiet, cautious. He realized that he had no idea what she was thinking.

  He had chosen a restaurant on the outskirts of town, knowing that they not only offered excellent food, but also a quiet atmosphere so that they could get to know each other uninterrupted. I hope she likes it. Why am I nervous? It had been a while since he took a woman to dinner who actually interested him.

  As she turned to walk in front of him toward the restaurant Tom stared at the back of the dress, where it dipped below her shoulder blades. Fighting the desire to lick from her neck down her back, he placed his hand on the small of her back to lead her inside.

  Walking in, the hostess looked up with a huge smile on her face. “Why Tom, it’s been forever since you’ve been in to see me…us.” Her tight dress showed her ample cleavage, and she worked it to her advantage as her eyes cut over to Carol.

  Fuck. I forgot Anita worked here. Glancing down at Carol, he saw no change in her demeanor at all. But with his hand on her back, he could feel the slight tenseness. If his hand had not been on her he would have never noticed her tension. How does she do that? How does she completely mask what she is thinking? No glaring, no frowning. Nothing.

  The hostess stuck her hand out toward Carol, saying with a smile, “Hi. I’m Anita. I’m an old friend of Tom’s.”

  Carol robotically reached for Anita’s handshake, feeling like there was more than just friendship between the two. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.

  “He’s great isn’t he?” Anita continued to gush. “All us girls used to want to tie him to us, but you know Tom – always keeping one foot out of the bed and heading toward the door!”

  At that, Carol jerked her hand back, suddenly feeling as though she had been dropped into a situation in which she had no control once again.

  Embarrassed, Tom slid his hand from Carol’s back around to her tense shoulders and gently pulled her into his side. He could feel the tension radiating from her body while the smile plastered on her face did not reach her eyes. Dammit.

  “Yes, well as you can see, I have a beautiful date and we have a reservation. You may show us to our table.” Nervous, he hoped he was handling the situation correctly. The last thing he wanted was a former fuck-buddy to ruin his evening with Carol.

  “Sure thing, honey. But listen, the next time you’re over this way, look me up. I’m always up for a night with you sugar, and I know you are always up!” Turning to Carol with a smile, she continued, “Normally I wouldn’t be so forward, but we all know Tom. He’s great with the benefits, but sticking around just isn’t his thing, is it? Oh well, enjoy him while you have him.”

  By this time Carol body was humming with anxiety. A player? A man with fuck-buddies all over the place? Her palms were sweating, and a sick feeling crept into her stomach. What am I doing here? This is so not me. He’s not even interested in me.

  Tom growled, “Anita
, show us to our table. Now.”

  Eyes narrowing in confusion, the hostess turned and sashayed over to a corner table next to a window with a view of the mountains in the background.

  Assisting Carol with her seat, Tom took the seat next to her instead of across from her. She still had no appearance of anxiety over meeting Anita, but he noticed that her hands shook ever so slightly as she picked up her menu. Whatever is in her past, she has learned to hide her emotions. He desired to take her in his arms and not only protect her from anything now, but also to wipe away whatever stole her joy in her past.

  Looking over their menus, he noticed her subtle scent drifting his way. Ever so slight, with just a hint of floral. Noticing everything about her, he tried not to stare. Her hair that beckoned his fingers to sift through the strands. Her china doll face with delicate features. Slim hands, belying their strength. She took the napkin and gently unfolded it as she placed it in her lap before perusing the menu. Most women are already draping themselves over me, and she seems completely unaffected. Confused as to how to read her, he began looking over the menu as well.

  As Carol’s eyes expertly scanned the menu, she mentally calculated the lowest calorie meal without seeming obvious. She stilled her nerves, trying not to look at him, having already memorized his every feature. Navy slacks, cut to fit his muscular thighs. Light blue dress shirt, with the cuffs rolled at the wrists. Tall. Blond. Built. Strong jaw, ocean blue eyes that twinkle, and kissable lips. Kissable lips? Oh Jesus, read the menu. Read the menu. Remember, this is just dinner. Nothing more. If he wants a new fuck-buddy, he can look elsewhere!

  His leg brushed against hers sending a tingle all the way from her knee to her pussy. She clenched her thighs to ease the pressure. Read the menu, she chanted like a mantra.

  Tom smiled, noticing the slight movement as she pressed her legs together. So she’s not as unaffected by me as I thought.

  The waiter came over and took their orders.

  “I’ll have the baked chicken with steamed vegetables,” she stated as she eyed the rolls the waiter had put on the table. Melted butter slid off of their sides, pooling in the plate under them. Chicken – 140 calories. Steamed vegies – 60 calories. I could have one roll. 120 calories without the butter. I could run more tomorrow.

  “I’m glad you ordered food and not just a salad,” he commented, unknowingly interrupting her calorie counting.

  She smiled, but once again it did not reach her eyes. Shrugging softly, she admitted, “I like to eat.”

  Tom, his eyebrow lifted in question, stated, “Well, I don’t know where it goes, ’cause you’re a tiny thing.”

  The smile left her face as she turned to look at the majestic view outside the window. He felt the loss of her smile immediately, wanting to do nothing more than have it back on her beautiful face again and directed at him.

  “Tell me about bein’ a nurse,” he asked, hoping to pull her out of her silence.

  Whipping her head around to look at him, the change in Carol’s demeanor was instantaneous. “I love it!” she said, her smile returning in its full glory. “I’ve been a nurse for about four years and it is everything I ever wanted it to be.”

  Tom, thrilled to have found the topic that sparked her obvious joy, prodded more. “What about the ER? Is that where you want to work or did you just get stuck there?”

  “Oh no,” she replied, placing her hand on his arm. “I think the ER is the most fascinating place to work. Every day is different. Every hour is different.” Feeling the strength of his arm muscles under her hand sent a spark through her, reminding her of their first meeting when he was injured. Jerking her hand back, she glanced into his eyes.

  He felt the spark as well, also remembering her touch when he was almost unconscious. He felt the loss of her hand and reached out to grasp her hand in his much larger one.

  “You were tellin’ me about the ER?” he asked, his fingers tracing gentle circles on her hand.

  “I love never knowing what will walk through the door. It really keeps me on my toes. And sometimes there is such a connection with a patient.” Looking deeply into his eyes, she said, “Like your friend’s wife, Jen.”

  “Do you often make a connection?” he asked, thinking about his accident. Does she recognize me? Does she realize it was my hand she was holding?

  “Well…there was one person, when I held their hand after they were injured, I felt a connection,” she spoke quietly, lowering her eyes, afraid to see what his memories were.

  “I was injured recently, and I swear to god, an angel held my hand,” he spoke, leaning so that his voice was just a whisper in her ear.

  Immediately raising her eyes to his, she barely spoke. “You remember?”

  Leaning further so that his lips were touching her ear, “Angel, I remember everything about you.”

  Sucking her breath in sharply, she turned her face so that her lips were next to his. “You thought I was an angel.”

  “No babe. I knew you were.” And with that, he completed the distance so that his lips touched her in the barest hint of a kiss.

  Eyes wide, she was stunned, then confused. “So is that what this is? Tonight, I mean? You wanting to thank me?”

  Placing his hand gently on her cheek, turning her face back to his, he replied, “Angel, I looked for you for weeks. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. And when I finally saw you in the ER, that was it for me babe. I was gonna move heaven and earth to make you mine.”

  She found that the warmth of his words wrapped around her like a blanket. Smiling, she allowed him to pull her in for another whisper kiss.

  The waiter arrived with their food and Carol found herself glad for the distraction. Focusing on the food, she was a master at eating small portions while making it look as though she was just taking time with her food. She forced herself to focus on Tom and their conversation, not mentally calculating the calories. Why am I doing this now? I have been so healthy! It’s that damn invitation from my parents, being here with Tom, and that bitch, Anita.

  Their conversation flowed as they swapped stories of her adventures in the ER and his adventures as a detective.

  “So tell me about your two friends that were in the ER with you?” she asked.

  “You saw me there and didn’t come in and say somethin’? Hell Carol, you could’ve saved me weeks of lookin’ for you,” he admonished.

  “How was I to know you were interested?” she shot back.

  Tom just shook his head in frustration. “Clueless.”

  “Would you stop saying that?”

  Holding her eyes with his, “Angel, anyone who looks like you ought to know, any man would be interested.”

  “Carol? Carol Fletcher?” a male voice came from behind them.

  Tom turned, scowling at the interruption, his irritation focused on a man, dressed in an expensive suit, walking over toward them. Tall, slender, with his dark brown hair styled as though he spent a great deal of time in a salon. The man never looked over at Tom, but kept his eyes on Carol as he approached.

  Confusion, replaced by recognition showed on Carol’s face. “Ronald?”

  Ronald Harriston, the son of one of her father’s associates and a man her father had deemed worthy to be husband material, kept walking until he was right next to Carol, on the opposite side of Tom. Leaning down he kissed her cheek, causing Carol to jerk back uncomfortably. Tom, already irritated at the interruption, was willing to make a concession to a friend of hers, but seeing her reaction he stood up quickly, moving forward forcing Ronald to step back.

  Carol attempted an introduction to intervene. “Ronald, it’s been a long time. Tom, this is Ronald Harriston, a friend of my father. Ronald, this is Tom, my da…”

  “Her boyfriend,” Tom finished. Taking control of the situation, he placed his left hand possessively on the back of Carol’s neck, extending his right hand toward Ronald.

  Ronald looked surprised but shook Tom’s hand nonetheless. “Your father hadn’t
mentioned that you were seeing someone.” Sizing Tom up, he continued, “I’m more than just a family friend, I am an old friend of Carol’s.”

  Bristling, Carol stated, “I don’t report everything to my father, Ronald. I haven’t for a long time, as I’m sure you know.” Outwardly calm, she could feel the panic building. The invitation. I’ve got to deal with that soon.

  “Your parents miss you, Carol. They say you don’t come around very often to see them.”

  “I see them occasionally.” Anger mixed with the panic, made Carol feel lightheaded. You can do this. You can do this. “You know as well as anyone that they don’t approve of my career.”

  “So you’re still playing nurse at the hospital.”

  “Playing?” Carol sputtered.

  Tom moved so that his body was between Carol and Ronald, forcing Ronald’s eyes up to his. “I think it is time you moved on.”

  The feeling of being out of control overtook Carol. She looked down at the food still left on her plate, the smell of it turning her stomach. “If you gentlemen will excuse me, I’ll be right back,” she said as she moved past Tom, walking toward the restrooms.

  Ronald watched her momentarily before turning back to Tom, realizing his mistake upon seeing the fury on his face.

  Tom growled, “As an old friend, you get one pass, man and that was it. I catch you starin’ at my woman’s ass again you’ll be eatin’ through a straw. You got me?”

  Ronald smirked, “I apologize. Good evening.” He turned and moved away, leaving the restaurant.

  Fuck. A perfect dinner ruined by that asshole. And Anita. Could it get any worse? Getting angrier by the moment, he forced himself to calm down. Glancing toward the ladies’ room, he noticed an older woman approaching him. Looking at her questioningly, he asked, “May I help you, ma’am?”

  “I’m sorry,” she spoke softly. “I was just in the ladies’ room and I think your date is ill.”

  Quickly thanking her, Tom strode over to the door of the restroom. Hesitating, he knocked before opening the door. Scanning the room to make sure it was clear of others, he only saw Carol’s shoes under one of the stalls. The sound of retching came from the stall, followed by a sob.