“You think far too highly of me.” He eyes me carefully, a genuine smile pulling at his lips.
“Only for the people who deserve it.”
The most endearing and adorable blush slowly rises on his cheeks, and he hangs his head to stare at his running shoes, digging them into the dirt before returning eye-contact that makes me grin from ear to ear.
“So, how’s your mom and Gabe? Are they excited about the baby?”
I giggle softly, thinking about my makeshift family that I adore with all my heart. “It’s pretty much all they can talk about, so I think excited is an understatement.”
When my mother got pregnant with Wylie, it was a huge surprise to all of us. I don’t think my parents had planned to have another child after me, but having him somehow drew them even closer. And I know when my father passed, it devastated my mom, but she managed to keep it all together. Then, she eventually met Gabe, and suddenly, she wanted a third kid.
“I’m sure they are! I haven’t seen them in a while.” He ponders on his own thoughts, brows dipping low.
Feeling a sudden wave of guilt wash over me, I say, “I’m sure they’d love to have you over for dinner soon. They both love you to death.” I know I haven’t been a good friend to him, especially Anthea, because of Hayden constantly taking over my thoughts, but I want to change that.
His wondering gaze snaps back to me, a grin sneaking its way onto his face as his azure eyes sparkle. “I’d love that.”
“Good! Then I’ll text you with a time and day sometime this week?” I hope, cocking my head to the side, and he nods, walking backward. “Don’t you want this back?” I wave the ball in the air, frowning.
He ignores me, moving so far away that he has to shout. “Show me what you’ve got, Archer!” Nick claps his hands twice before opening them high in the air as a gesture for me to throw it.
Adjusting my fingers on the football as both my father and Hayden taught me, I hurl it in his direction. I feel pride swell in my chest when he catches it perfectly with an amazed expression.
“We may just have to recruit you on the team!” He teases, tossing the ball back towards one of his shirtless friends.
“I’m good. I think I’ll just stick with not doing anything for my sport.” I wave him off, letting out a breathless laugh while clasping my hands in front of me, not knowing what to do with them now that I don’t have anything to hold. “I’ll see you in school!” I bid my adieu, and he returns it before jogging further down the open pasture.
Feeling a bit better than I had when I first arrived, I continue my trek to the manmade lake just below the hill with hopes of disintegrating all thoughts of Hayden that wallow in the pits of my mind.
Chapter 3
Elsie
A weight—that’s what it feels like. A hundred-pound load of pressure has been tied to my heart, sinking it into the bottomless pit of the Atlantic Ocean. My lungs constrict until I feel like I’m on the verge of an asthma attack as I pathetically watch Hayden pepper kisses across Abby’s clear face.
Holding back the oncoming tears, I continue with my tray of food to the corner of the cafeteria where I see Anthea sit. She types away on her phone, the other hand occupied with a sandwich. I keep a low profile as I dodge Hayden’s table crowded with her friends, people he would never have been seen with before.
“How are you?” I slap on a cheerful smile as I slide into the seat across Anthea.
“Good,” Anthea mumbles through a mouth full of food. She chuckles and covers her lips with her fingers, only speaking again when she’s finished chewing. “You?”
The lie slips out before I can even think about it. “Great!”
Anthea is fully capable of dissecting the inner emotions I cover up. She raises a brow and sucks on her bottom lip while looking extremely unconvinced. Her gaze travels behind me to seek the real reason of my discontent.
“Are you going to tell me what’s been going on between the two of you? Normally, he’s sitting over here. Did something happen I don’t know about?”
With a careless shrug, I begin to poke at the cheeseburger with the plastic fork, wondering if this is real meat.
“I guess he’s a bit more serious about Abby now. It’s just forty minutes, a table, and food I’m not too positive doesn’t have mold on it…It’s no big deal if he wants to sit over there.” It sounds juvenile because it is juvenile. I’m trying to persuade myself into believing that it doesn’t mean anything.
Of course, it stings when he walks right past me like I don’t exist, but I should be used to it.
She scrunches her nose up in disgust. “He’s been such a major prick lately. It’s like he’s done a one-eighty. Normally, you’re number one in his book.” I muster a nod as she takes a sip of milk, dusting the droplets off around her lip.
“Things can’t stay the same forever, and you know how he gets when he’s interested in a girl.”
Hayden has a heart of gold and can be easily manipulated into doing anything, which is frustrating. However, things have never been this bad. He’s ditched me, emotionally hurt me, and lied to me, but never on this scale.
“You shouldn’t put up with that, you know? I don’t care if he’s been your best friend since birth, or if he saved you from a burning fire—which he didn’t—he has no right to treat you this way. And you just take it. You don’t owe Hayden anything, Elsie.” Anthea spurts off on one of her many tangents, and I know she’s right, but I continue to block out the rest of her wise words.
Saved by the bell.
Oh, but it isn’t the bell, more like something crashing in the room. Turning in my seat, I notice a freshman on her knee’s next to Hayden’s table, her tray flipped upside down and mashed potatoes surrounding the area.
Small snickers erupt, and I can see the red tint on her cheeks from here. Her strawberry blonde hair purposely falls as a wall around her face to shield the embarrassment, but she’s frozen to her spot.
With a roll of my eyes at the immature kids that attend this school, I hop from my seat to rush over to her. I hold my hand out to her, and she accepts it. As I pull her from the ground, I notice the slight blood seeping on the knee of her jeans.
Feeling the attention slide to me, I can distinctly pick out his light green eyes through the crowd. I briefly peek over to see Hayden’s gaze stuck on me, a slight admiration swirling in them. The air in my throat hitches when I see his arm wrapped around Abby’s slim waist, little breathless chuckles leaving her, just low enough for no one to hear.
I shoot an icy glare her way, and she doesn’t hesitate to send one back, a smirk making its way on her face as she snuggles further into Hayden. The churning in my stomach only returns a tenfold, reminding myself to focus on the young girl in front of me.
“Are you okay?” I question softly, queasy at the thought of the crimson liquid getting anywhere near me.
“Y–yes…”
I frown when she bends down to pick up the tray with shaky hands, attempting to clean up, but I just grab it from her, setting it back down. “Don’t worry about any of that. Someone else will get it while we take you to the nurse to get cleaned up.” The bile in my stomach rises when I assess her body for any injuries, running across her knee once again. “Why don’t you just wait for me in the hallway while I get my stuff, and then I’ll take you to the office?”
She merely nods, and her watery eyes drop to the ground when she turns to walk out of the buzzing room.
“Modern day hero!” Anthea exaggerates with the widest grin.
I shake my head with a small snicker, scooping my bag off the ground to throw it on my shoulder. I’m fully ready to flip her the bird as I turn around to follow the freshman’s path, but I nearly collide with a taut chest. Looking up, I see Hayden’s mesmerizing face.
Muttering a profanity under my breath, I take a step back in shock. “Are you okay?” I ask, even though he should be wondering that, but when I look up into those warm eyes, I always have word vomit
.
“You never replied to my messages yesterday.” Hayden looks dejected, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans while tapping his lithe fingers against his legs. “I just wanted to make sure you actually wanted to go with me, or if you’re still mad?”
“I’m still mad.”
“Oh…” He sighs in defeat, expression quickly turning into one of a child’s when they get told no. His brows are low; his eyes are looking anywhere but me, and his bottom lip slightly pokes out.
“Fine, I’ll go with you.” I groan, feeling the burning glare on my back from Anthea. “How can I pass up pizza and movies with my favorite guy?”
Immediately, that shimmering happy glow appears on his face again when he snaps his head up. “Really?” Hayden’s voice holds so much relief and uncertainty that I bob my head for reassurance. “Thank you so much! I won’t let you down this time…” His tone drips with disappointment. “Just meet me at my place after school, and we’ll figure out a plan from there! See you later, love.”
He takes me by surprise when his knuckles brush lightly against my own, and his cold lips press against my forehead in a swift peck. Hayden pulls back with a gentle smile while I inhale deeply to regain my composure, watching him walk away. Ignoring the heated gaze from Anthea, I make my way towards the door, picturing her crossing her arms and shaking her head.
Before making it out, blonde hair catches my attention. Nick waves frantically at me from across the room, and I can’t fight the grin, returning his enthusiastic greeting.
I texted Nick earlier this morning after speaking with Gabe and my mother. They wanted to have him over for dinner tomorrow night around six thirty. He replied, ace, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
The freshman, whose name is Candice, thanks me over and over. We talk while the nurse cleans her up. She squeezes my hand when they disinfect her knee, and soon enough, we are both sent back to our classes with promises of seeing each other again.
***
In my beaten-up car, wandering down the street to Hayden’s house, I find myself honestly looking forward to spending the rest of the day with him. I’ve missed laughing over nothing, or giggling at his intolerable puns that he insists are funny.
We used to be inseparable.
Change isn’t something that comes easy to me. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things, especially when you’ve had bone-crushing feelings for your best friend who is starting to move on while all you’re trying to do is hold on to your relationship for as long as you can.
Parking directly in front of their brick house, I realize his car is nowhere to be found. I must have beat him here. After climbing out of the driver’s seat, I stroll up the driveway to the porch, ringing the doorbell.
The door swings open, and lanky arms wrap around my body. Faded pink hair is the only thing I see as I embrace her back with a smile. I feel like I haven’t see Gwen in months.
Soon, I find myself cuddled up on their earl gray couch with a cup of coffee in my hands, a cup of tea in hers, and a blanket spread out across us while we catch up.
“Can you tell me what my kid brother has done? Hayden mopes around all the time, and I haven’t seen much of you.” Gwen wonders, tucking her long legs underneath her body like I had done minutes ago.
I don’t even know how to explain it myself. “He’s just been…different. I don’t know, to be honest. If I did, I’d tell you.”
“Did you guys have a fight?”
I let out a breath of exhaustion and say, “Nothing that should cause him to avoid me this much.” My brain has been overthinking this entire topic far too much.
Gwen’s face is graced with utter sympathy, and she reaches over to put a soothing hand on my knee, rubbing circles. “Don’t let his moodiness get to you, okay? He adores you, and that’ll never change. He’s an idiot if he constantly chooses personality-less girls over his best friend.”
I want more than anything to believe her, to let Gwen’s words wiggle their way into my mind as concrete reassurance, but there is always that small nagging.
“It’s okay.” I chuckle, picking at the chipping paint on the mug. “He has a girlfriend that he cares about. I get it. I just wish it didn’t place me in the middle of a rock and a hard place.”
“He’s an idiot, and you’re a lovely girl who could get the attention of any guy.” She continues to try and build my confidence higher than the Empire State building.
Gwen has always acted like the big sister I never had. Even when I have issues with Hayden, she’s there to listen and comfort. It’s nice having her there to know the both of us well enough to sort through our issues. Or, Gwen is just there when I need to hang out with someone older and wiser. She knows about the deep feelings I have for her brother, but I know my secrets are safe with her.
The two of us just sit here, snuggled up while sharing everything about our lives that we’ve missed out on. Gwen has been away for a few months, studying abroad in Italy, and I’m greatly enthralled with the pictures she shares.
I began to get antsy an hour later, my heart clenching with disappointment. Hour two rolls around, and I glance at the clock above the television to see that the pizza parlor closes in thirty minutes. When hour three hits, I’m just listening for the sound of an engine pulling up, but I got nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Gwen can see the rejection and sadness written all over my face, and I do nothing to hide it. Holding back my tears, I try to convince myself that I’m okay; it’s okay, and I’m not hurt. I shouldn’t care anymore. I shouldn’t let him get to me.
Soon after, I decide to leave. My high hopes are plummeting to the ground, my friendship with Hayden hot on its heels. Shoving my fuzzy sock-covered feet back in my boots, I share one last hug with Gwen, promising to get together soon. She utters an apology, and I assure her that it’s okay, but it’s not; I’m not.
Walking down the front steps, I see headlights shine through the dark before his car whips into the driveway. Pretending as if I didn’t see him arrive home, I take a shortcut through the grass to make it to my car quicker, but he’s always been faster than me.
He kills the engine. His car door slams shut in the distance, and I hear his heavy footsteps as he jogs over to me. His large hand wraps around my upper arm to stop me from walking any further, gently turning me around to face him.
“Where are you going?” He questions slightly out of breath, eyes frantically searching my face for any sort of emotion, but I don’t feel anything. “We had plans…”
“Had,” I repeat in a mumble, pulling myself away from him. His burning touch leaves a slight tingling sensation in its wake. “I’m going home.”
“What? Why?” Hayden looks genuinely confused, frowning down at me with a clenched jaw, and I almost want to laugh.
“Why?” I repeat, venom nearly spitting from my tone. “I waited for three and a half hours. Not to mention the pizza shop is closed by now, Hayden.”
He takes the risk of stepping towards me, but I take one step back. He frowns at my movement, shoulders slumping in discouragement. “We can still watch the movies? Please, Elsie? I miss you.”
“And do you not think that I miss you?” I chuckle dryly, fed up with the way he treats me. “I’ve missed seeing you for months now, Hayden. You say you do as well, but you haven’t once made an effort to fix it!” I run my hand through my dark hair, tugging at the ends in frustration. “I have been trying so hard to keep this friendship together, but you just don’t give a shit anymore!” It’s hard enough to say all of this to him, but to hold back the tears is even harder. They begin to spill down my cheeks anyway. He reaches forward to swipe them away, but I only dodge his hand. “I don’t need to know where you were. I already know the answer. Yet here I was, sitting around, waiting for someone who is just a waste of my time.” A few tears leak down his pink cheeks as well, but I look elsewhere. “I don’t know what has happened, but this friendship has fallen through the cracks.”
All tha
t I just said hurts him; I know that, and that’s why I said it. There must be a way to get to him, to let him know that I don’t know how much longer I can take this one-sided relationship.
Huffing loudly, I harshly wipe the tears from my face. I shake my head before turning away from him to walk to the driver’s side of my car. I need to get out of here because looking at the crushed expression on his face is more than painful.
Hayden doesn’t get the message because, in an instant, he’s standing in front of me again with hands on my arms to stop me.
“I’m not letting you drive while you’re upset, okay?” he says gently through his tears, thumbs caressing my skin to soothe me, but it only makes my anger rise.
“Piss off, Hayden.” Sniffling, I yank my arms away from his grasp to climb into the driver’s seat. I slam the car door loudly and switch the lock behind me while pretending he isn’t hovering right next to me.
“Elsie…” He pleads, calling my name repeatedly as he tugs on the handle with no avail. “Please, just talk to me.”
The engine rumbles to life, almost drowning out his voice. Ignoring the begging emerald eyes and desperate voice, I put the vehicle into drive to speed away. I leave him the middle of the road in a slight tizzy. Regret rises in my chest, but I push it back down.
I can’t be weak and ultimately turn back just to comfort him. Anthea was right. I do just sit back and allow him to treat me this way. I practically tell him to keep doing it by running back to him seconds after. Ever since we were little kids, we mended each other’s hearts, even if it was one of us who hurt the other.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Chapter 4
Elsie
The tears that spilled down my cheeks had dried up after five minutes of driving. Surprisingly, I haven’t shed a single one after abandoning Hayden in the middle of his dark street, but silent sobs continue to rack through my body.
I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want things to change between us, but that’s how life goes. Is our friendship down the drain? Will I let fourteen years just disappear as if it never happened? Did he ever care about my feelings?
The Best Friend: A Young Adult Romance Story Page 2
