My face contorts in distaste as the smell wafts around my nose when I bring the cup up to my mouth. I feel three intense gazes set on me as I bring the rim to my lips and tip it back, letting the lukewarm liquid drain down my throat.
I chug it all before slamming it back down on the table, using my sleeve to wipe my mouth. The bitter taste makes my head spin and my gut swirl. I’m going to regret this tomorrow. A lethargic simper falls of my lips when I see their wide eyes, and I shrug.
“I’m pretty sure she could drink every single guy here under the table if we dared her to,” Jake says through his amazed chuckles, fingertips grazing Anthea’s shoulder.
“Maybe next time, but I’m far too drunk to try that tonight. I’d get alcohol poisoning.” I hum, blinking my burning eyes multiple times to try and rid myself of the feeling. “Do you wanna take my place? I’m going to get some air,” I ask Jake, and he nods. “Go easy on him.” I pat his shoulder, sending Nick a goofy grin that he mocks before frowning.
I find myself laughing loudly at his childish behavior. It’s nearly impossible to push through the sea of people on wobbly legs, but I manage to find myself out front, needing to ease the throbbing in my head.
The fresh and chilly air envelops my body and cools me down from being inside that cramped party that smelt like alcohol, weed, sweat, sex, and desperation. I take a well-needed long inhale, sighing deeply after.
I notice the empty cups and beer glasses that litter the expanse of the lawn. Everything is spinning, and I almost trip over my feet when I take a seat on the curb, stretching my legs out to the street slightly.
Cold concrete seeps through my jeans, but it feels nice. I grunt when I feel my butt vibrating, and I frown in confusion and frustration as I fumble around to find the source. My frigid fingers curl around my phone, and my eyes squint to get a clear picture of the bright screen.
Hayden’s name is sprawled out largely across the glass. I stare at it, pondering if I should pick up or not. Apparently, I’ve been thinking too long because before I make my decision, it sends him to voicemail.
I sigh in relief, thanking my sober self for telling my parents that I would be spending the night at Anthea’s when I see that the time is around two in the morning.
A whine erupts from me when he calls back. My drunken brain decides that I can’t avoid him forever, so I slide my fingertip across the pick-up option.
“Hello?” I sniffle, trying my best to sound like I’m not completely and totally shit-faced.
“Thank God!” He expels a loud puff of air. “I’ve been calling you all night, Elsie! Where have you been?” He frantically spits out, voice tired and distressed.
“I’ve been busy” is all I manage to say, not wanting to give too much information away that’ll raise suspicion.
“Yeah, I got that much,” he mumbles in irritation. “How busy can one person be when it’s almost three in the morning?”
“Pretty busy.”
He huffs. “Are you going to say more than two words?”
“I might.”
There’s harsh shuffling in the background followed by a jingle that makes me feel even more dazed than before.
“Where are you?” he questions blatantly. I hear a slam through the speaker.
A frown overcomes my face as I rest my hand on my forehead to ease some tension. “I don’t have to tell you that.” My eyes flutter shut when I realize he’ll figure it out within seconds. I did leave with Nick and Anthea, which he saw.
“Are you drunk?” He snaps, even more agitated than he was. “How much have you had to drink?” I can hear him speaking through clenched teeth and his car engine roaring to life. “You know what? Just tell me where you are so I can come get you.”
My hold on the phone only tightens by the second. He doesn’t have any right to be upset with me, and he sure as hell doesn’t need to demand to know where I am.
“No, Hayden!” I clench my jaw, feeling as if it’s my turn to be furious now. The alcohol in my system only gives me the strength to urge on and tell him what I’m feeling. “I’m not a child that you have to look after. You don’t need to come here. Just get out of your car, and go back inside your house. For once in your life, let me have fun without you.”
It’s quiet for a minute. The only sound audible is the pumping music behind me and Hayden breathing on the other line.
He lets out a shaky sigh before he says anything. “You’re at Nick’s party, right?”
I think of slamming my head into the ground because of his stubbornness, wishing that for once he’d just leave me alone. I never could have imagined that would be a thing I’d want, for him to walk out on me so I can finally get on with my life, but at this moment, I do. I will be miserable though.
“M’not…” I slur, not realizing my body has been swaying side to side as I bring my knees up to my chest.
“I’ll be there in five minutes. Don’t move.” He commands, and I can picture him gripping the steering wheel tightly as he seethes with a clenched jaw and those emerald eyes glaring at the road.
I don’t even bother replying because I know there’s nothing I can do to change his mind. I simply pull the phone away from my ear to end the call before stuffing it back into my pocket. I resume my position with elbows on my legs as I rest my face in the palms of my hands.
How did we get to this point? Why didn’t I stop myself from falling head over heels years ago? I have no backbone when it comes to Hayden. It’s almost as if I can’t ever say no, and I don’t stand my ground.
I’ve always been grateful for him. He’s my best friend, my rock, and my support system. He’d been there when it felt like everything else was falling apart. All he had to do was look at me with that smile, and suddenly, everything was okay. Now it feels like he’s the one that’s pulling everything down around me.
It makes me feel like such an awful person for hoping that he will get sick of me and just walk away, to throw a lifetime of friendship in the trash. We both know that I’ve never been good enough to be in his life; we’re two completely different people.
The thought brings searing tears to my eyes, but I blink them away. I conclude that blaming my oversensitive emotions and irrational thoughts on the booze are my best bet.
Five minutes disappear in seconds, and I suddenly hear a vehicle slowing to a stop right in front of me, but I don’t look up. A long and shaky sigh leaks from me when the car door shuts roughly.
I don’t have the energy to fight him. I’m, firstly, too drunk, and secondly, too lethargic to even speak a word at the moment.
The sense of a body bending down in front of me causes my eyes to pinch shut and the throbbing in my head to worsen. I feel his warm hands on mine, gently prying them off my face to hold in his while strokes my knuckles.
“I’m not angry with you, love. I’m mad at myself, and that has nothing to do with you,” Hayden’s husky voice whispers, instantly making me feel tingly and warm. “Let me see those pretty eyes?” He tilts my chin down, and I peel my eyes open to see him squatting in front of me. “There they are.” He smiles. “Will you please come with me?”
I glance away from him with a drumming heart. He’s always been soft and gentle with me, even when he’s angry, and there’s no stopping his rampage. Hayden will never lay a hand on me, but mentally and emotionally, he’s hurt me more than he could know. I still question myself to this day why I still constantly go back to him.
Maybe because at one point he was all I could look to for comfort and vice versa. Or maybe it’s because he holds such a large spot in my heart, slowly taking over it completely. Whatever it is, I hate it and love it.
“Please…” He pleads in a tizzy when he notices hesitation, grasping my hands firmer. “Just come home with me, okay?”
My heart clenches at his sweet tone while his green eyes beg with my own, and his ruby lips part, ready to convince me any second.
I abruptly stand on trembling legs, and he’s quick to st
raighten up as well, fingers still tangled with mine. Tomorrow, my sober self will hate my drunken self for giving into him yet again, even though with no alcohol in my system, I still can’t stay away.
“I’m sleepy,” I admit quietly, just wanting to be in his arms.
A small smile curls at his mouth, and he nods. “Let’s go so you can sleep.” He snakes his arm around my waist to lead me over to his car but not before he presses a relieved kiss on my head.
Chapter 10
Elsie
The churning in my stomach when I turn to lay on my side shakes me from my mostly peaceful slumber. I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter when the pounding in my head finally registers, scolding myself for drinking so much.
A small groan reverberates in my throat, and I involuntarily snuggle further into the fluffy pillow under my head, feeling the softness of the sheets surrounding me. A musky scent fills my nostrils, and I try to recall how I made it to a bed last night, let alone in Hayden’s bed.
Everything comes flooding back: his annoyed tone on the phone, contradictory to his soft and pleading voice when he knelt to talk with me. I remember giving into him, once again, when he asked if I would leave with him.
I don’t know what time it is, or if Anthea and Nick are frantically looking for me since I mysteriously disappeared from the party due to my horrid choices.
Peeling my eyes open one at a time, I allow them to adjust to the dim lighting of the room, thanks to the curtains that are drawn tightly together. My vision blurs before items in the room finally become clearer.
It startles me when my eyes land on the boy that clouds all my thoughts. His verdant irises are trained solely on me. His chestnut waves flop over his forehead as he lays flat on his stomach, hands shoved under the pillow.
He smacks his lips together before clearing his throat to get rid of his drowsiness. “There’s some medicine and water on the bedside table for you.” Hayden turns his head to the area behind me, voice laden with sleep.
I muster up a thankful nod, using the little strength I have in my arms to lift my body up against the headboard. A wave of dizziness takes over me, and I shut my eyes to make it stop while my stomach swirls with nausea.
The bed dips and moves when Hayden looms over my curled-up body. His bare arm brushes against my jean clad leg before his hand is nudging at mine to open. He drops two pills in my palm, setting the water bottle in the other.
I pry my eyes open enough to see he’d opened the cap for me. I take a small sip, gulping the burgundy pills before taking a few more swigs of refreshing water to rehydrate myself.
Hayden scratches his nose while positioning himself next to me with his body facing mine, knees pressed to the side of my thighs. He places the lid on my leg, and I pick it up, twisting it back on the bottle.
I sigh, resting my head against the wood behind me. I need to get a grip on my thoughts before he starts the conversation I know is coming.
The only remotely good thing that has come out of this is that I had been completely wasted when I agreed to go with him last night, so he can’t blame this one on me.
His gaze is focused only on me, which nearly makes me squirm, but I feel too sick to move or even turn to look at him, knowing full well that his mood has shifted significantly. I gulp in anticipation of his next words, which is pathetic.
“What were you thinking last night?” He speaks quietly at first, proving my assumptions to be true. He’s going to try and parent me because I wasn’t with him. “You were absolutely wasted!”
“Obviously…” I trail with no emotion in my voice. I’m aware that I was drunk; I was there, and I can surely feel it this morning. “I was just having fun.” I squeeze the water bottle, making a crunch sound to entertain myself if he’s going to scold me when he needs it more than myself. “Am I not allowed to get drunk, Hayden?” I ask rhetorically, eyes drifting over to him in sarcasm.
I can see it all over his face, he’s getting more frustrated by the second.
He’s stiff, and he huffs obnoxiously before it’s followed by a soft grunt. “Who knows what could have happened to you, Elsie!” His voice raises, which only makes my headache worse.
I roll my eyes. “Nick and Anthea were with me. They wouldn’t have let anything happen.” I purposely leave out the part where Nick was just as drunk, but Anthea was a bit soberer than us.
He scoffs, shaking his head almost in disappointment while looking away from me briefly before returning his glare. “You weren’t with them when I came to pick you up, were you?” Hayden points out, looking at me like a child. “What’s up with that anyway?”
“What?” I snap, fed up, and the last thing I want is to put up with his antics when I feel so ill.
“You and Nick suddenly being so close.”
I look at him this time; I mean really look at him. I try to push the sick feeling away so I can get to the bottom of this. “We’re not that close, Hayden.” I push the blankets off my warm body and curl my legs right back up to my stomach. “He’s a good guy that I’ve had dinner with, and he invited me to his party. It’s no big deal.”
“Wait…” Hayden seems taken aback. “That’s why you couldn’t hang out with me Tuesday? Because you were with him?” He sounds hurt, quieter than before.
“You’re not serious right now…Are you?” I wonder with a quizzical expression, eyes filled with animosity.
Hayden is unbelievable for trying to make me feel guilty for being with someone I had plans with when he’s always trying to make it up to me for ditching every plan we make.
“Did you guys have a nice dinner?” he asks hesitantly, full of anger, and his cheeks tint red as he lets his temper get the best of him.
I cuss multiple times under my breath, ignoring my shaky legs as I hop off his bed to stand. I feel dazed and groggy, but I hastily pick up my bag to throw it over my shoulder. I shake my head and rub my forehead, angrily grabbing the door handle but turning to look back briefly.
Hayden still sits on his bed, watching me desperately. I feel so many emotions that itch at my throat, but I’m only able to say a few things. “I’m sorry that I can’t be you, Hayden.” A sad smile takes over, and I have a hard time keeping eye contact. “I don’t like hurting people just for the fun of it or to cancel on them because something better came along.”
“I–I never said that Abby is better than you.” He rushes out, climbing off the bed quickly.
“You didn’t have to, and that’s the thing,” I whisper, opening the door. “You show it all the time, and I don’t know how much more I can handle.” Maybe it wasn’t enough to get my point across, but I had wanted to say that for a while.
He doesn’t have a chance to speak before I’m storming out, slamming the door behind me. I descend down the stairs at a rapid pace, just wanting to get out.
I’m at a loss for words when I have to face Hayden’s mother, Camil, at the bottom of the steps. She has that warm and knowing smile on her lips, dark hair falling just below her collarbones and light green eyes shining.
“Elsie, sweetie!” she exclaims happily, pulling me in for a quick hug before sending me a simper that has my heart clenching. I feel guilty, not knowing if it’s because she can tell I’m sweating alcohol from my pores or if she heard our argument. “Do you want some breakfast? You look a bit pale.” She places her cold and delicate hand on my forehead to feel my temperature.
Camil drops her touch, and I open my mouth to deny, but I hear Hayden’s heavy footsteps barreling down the stairs. His chest heaves up and down as he comes to a stop next to me, eyes flicking back and forth between his mother and me.
Looking at the sweet woman who has watched me grow up, I finally answer. “I was actually just leaving to head home, but I’ll take a rain check.” I muster up my best cheerful smile, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek.
I approach the front door, but Hayden’s grip on my elbow halts all my movements as he gently pulls me back to face him.
“You’re not walking home,” he says sternly, trying hard to catch my eyes.
“Well, I sure as hell don’t want to be around you right now,” I whisper so his mother doesn’t hear, but of course, she does anyway. Camil gets the picture with a sad grimace, retreating back to the kitchen to give us privacy.
He looks defeated, but his grip only tightens. “I understand that you’re mad at me for dropping you off early a couple days ago, but please just let me drive you home.”
I feel utterly exhausted and overall just gloomy. “And that’s the thing, Hayden…” I smile lightly to myself, looking at the ground as I pull my arm away from him. “That’s not the only thing I’m upset about. You put this friendship on the back burner constantly for a weekly piece of ass. I can’t be the only one who’s trying in this relationship anymore because I’m sick of it.”
I don’t stick around long enough to see his reaction because I’m walking out of his house within seconds, rushing down the steps to the street so I can walk home.
He doesn’t follow me this time.
Chapter 11
Hayden
I know what I do to her. Constantly twisting the knife even further is like second nature to me now. No matter how much I hate it, we always end up in the same place because of me. It’s my fault, every single damn time.
After Elsie slammed the front door behind her, I’ve been frozen. My feet are glued to their spot, and I feel like my lungs are going to explode from trying to breathe properly, but nothing is working.
I watch her through the window. She briskly walked down the street like I’m a fire she’s trying to escape, and that hurt more than anything. I’m pushing her to the point of not wanting to be around me anymore.
This morning has left behind the familiar aching in my chest that I know won’t fade until I have her back. It makes me feel sick, and my subconscious scolds me until I have her in my arms smiling and laughing; that’s when I know that things will be okay.
I’ve broken promises, lied, and made her feel like an awful person, but nothing will feel as bad as what Elsie said before she stormed out. That can’t be what she truly thinks of me, can it? If it is then I know I only have myself to blame; I’ve placed those thoughts in her head.
The Best Friend: A Young Adult Romance Story Page 6
