I don’t want to believe she thinks that lowly of me.
She’s my best friend, the only person in the world who can make me crumble if I utterly obliterated what we have. Elsie has been there for me in ways a girlfriend can never be. She’s been there to hold me when I would get my heartbroken, letting me cry in the crook of her neck, and sometimes, she would cry too.
Her heart is the size of Alaska, probably bigger. I can never put together why she gets just as upset when I cry my eyes out, but it’s one of the million things I adore about her.
I don’t know what I’m doing or what I want, but one thing is for sure: I want her to be happy with me because nothing else matters when I have her. Even though I continuously make her feel like she isn’t important to me, she’s the most essential and vital part of my life.
The clanking of plates slicing through the air is a reminder that my mom is just a room over and is very aware of what just happened. I huff, shaking out my hands by my side that were clenched into fists, unbeknownst to me.
Gwen and my mother are placing food on plates, delivering them to the table when I step in the room with hopes of going unnoticed, but my sister’s eyes land on me the second I walk in. She scoffs when I take a seat across from her, and I just ignore her frustrated behavior.
She’s been upset with me since I ditched Elsie earlier in the week, pretending I didn’t exist unless she’s taking the time to tell me what an absolute dick I am and that Elsie deserves better.
I already know all of that; she didn’t need to point it out and make me feel even more self-conscious about my relationship with Elsie. I’m far too selfish to give my best friend up, and I can’t lose her; I refuse.
My mom sets a plate down in front of me before sitting in a chair. The entire atmosphere is full of awkwardness and unsaid words I know they’re dying to shout at me, and I can’t blame them.
Elsie and I go in circles, and anyone who is close to us knows the routine. Most of the time—no, every time—it’s my fault, and my family doesn’t waste a chance to reprimand me for it by giving me the silent treatment until I work everything out.
Utensils scraping against the ceramic plates is the only sound coming from us as I eat slower than them, my mind clouded with thoughts of only her. I wonder what I can do to just get her to look at me again, but I come up with no useful ideas.
The plate still filled with food gets pulled out from under me when my mom collects hers and Gwen’s that are actually empty. She places them roughly in the sink, the tension between us practically eating me alive.
“You know, Hayden…” She sighs, leaning on the counter for support. “One day, you’re going to turn around needing her, and she’s not going to be there.”
My chest tightens even more because I know she’s right.
“What can I do to fix it?” I question desperately, taking any suggestions I can get right now. “I can’t take her being angry with me anymore.”
“I wish I could help you, sweets, but this is your problem,” my mom says softly, and I knew she was going to say something like that because she’s always been a believer of tough love. She wants Gwen and me to figure things out for ourselves. “You need to grow up and learn from your mistakes.”
It hits me, and I know exactly what I need to do to win her back. I swiftly hop out of my seat to press a kiss to Gwen’s head and one to my mom’s cheek before dashing up the stairs to shower and get dressed.
Before I know it, I’m parked out front of her house with high hopes and a sick feeling swirling in the pit of my stomach. I let myself in with the key I’ve had since middle school that her parents gave to me just in case there’s some sort of emergency.
My hands shake an absurd amount as I shut the door softly behind me, not wanting to wake anyone. I step off the ledge in their foyer before strolling through the rest of the house in search of her, terrified that she’ll reject me this time.
I find her in the kitchen with her back to me and a cup of coffee in hand, looking freshly showered standing in sweats and a tank top.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone for one day?” Elsie sighs, feeling my presence behind her. She sounds more tired than angry, but it still makes my shoulders droop as I ignore the searing pain shooting through my heart.
“No…” I answer honestly because I can’t leave her alone, and she knows that. “Now, go get dressed. I want to take you somewhere.”
She turns around to look at me with confusion, and I notice the color that has drained back in her face. “What? No!”
I rack my brain for a way to persuade her without starting some sort of argument. “I just want to show you something, Elsie. You don’t even have to talk to me if you don’t want to, and afterward, I can bring you straight home.”
Her gaze darts away for a second like she’s contemplating, and I feel my heart leap. Elsie looks upset with herself as she stares at a wall behind me, eyes fluttering shut for a brief second.
She’s going to give in, maybe.
I gulp when she brushes past me to jog up the stairs without another word. I groan lightly as I hoist myself up on the counter, wanting to take back my offer of her not having to speak a word to me. I can’t take the silence. I’m not leaving this house until I get her to come with me.
I just need everything to be okay between us again.
The sound of Wylie’s little feet padding down the steps has me perking up slightly, not knowing if Gabe and Lori are right behind him. They can’t know that Elsie and I have had yet another fight. I’m afraid that one day they’ll start whispering in her ear about how bad I am for her.
Wylie comes barreling into the kitchen alone like a maniac, and I can’t help but grin down at the boy who stops in between my legs with flushed cheeks that are scrunched up from the large smile on his face.
“Hi, buddy!” I greet, sliding off the counter to scoop him up in my arms. “What’s up?”
“Come play cars with me!” he exclaims, his expression immediately morphing to a pout just to coax me into giving into what he wants. It’s not all that easy to say no to him, especially when his eyes resemble his sister’s so much.
I nod, taking us both to the living room so we can plop down on the rug to play with his toys. Just five minutes later, he’s already bored out of his wits, and instead, we end up on the couch, watching Mulan on the television. Wylie cuddles himself up on my chest, thumb plugged in his mouth to entertain him.
Elsie comes down the stairs soon after, now clothed in worn-out jeans and a sweater. A warm smile curls on her pink lips when she takes in the sight of her little brother and me. Even though she quickly tries to hide it, I still notice.
We send Wylie back upstairs to her parents, and Elsie says she’ll be back in a little bit before we walk out of the house to my vehicle.
“Are you ready?” I ask, pulling open the passenger door to her, trying to be extra nice so she’ll hopefully give me another chance that I so greatly want.
She slides in her seat, giving me a wary glance. “I guess…”
Chapter 12
Elsie
I carefully assess the room, every inch of it as he watches me with uncertainty and fiddles nervously with his ring-clad fingers.
It’s chilly inside, I guess to keep all of its occupants from passing out due to sweating profusely. Whatever hit song that’s all over the radio plays softly through the speakers even though mostly everyone has headphones in to drown out the sounds of people striking the punching bags.
Hayden has always found a way to release his frustrations in a healthy manner, for the most part. He’s always liked boxing, but I never knew he enjoyed it this much.
I’m still in a state of utter shock with lips parted and eyes darting around to people training themselves to death.
“I got a job here about a month ago? I work on the weekends and get to box whenever I want, which is pretty nice,” Hayden says from behind me as I stand in front of a huge boxing ring that’s
the middle of the floor plan. There are bleachers to the right for people to sit and watch.
He sounds nervous and apprehensive, treading lightly around every single word. I turn on my heel to look at him, eyes softening when I see that happy glint in his pretty green eyes.
“How come you never told me?” I wonder in pure curiosity, a tad hurt that he felt he couldn’t share this part of his life with me.
He lifts his shoulders in a shrug, hands shoved deep into his jean pockets. “I knew you’d worry about me.” His cheeks tint a little pink, tongue poking out to wet his chapped bottom lip.
“Does anyone else know?”
“Apart from my mom and Gwen, you’re the only one.” Hayden pushes a piece of hair back that falls over his forehead when he shakes his head.
I really do try to hide the smile that so badly wants to break through, but I know he saw it, and I surely can’t cover up the blush that rises on my face. I turn back around so he can no longer see my satisfied demeanor that contradicts me being upset with him this morning. Just the thought of meaning enough to him that he can share this with me makes my heart swell.
There aren’t many words exchanged between us when he leads me to a set of swirly metal stairs with a hand on the small of my back, making me shiver as we climb.
From the outside, no one could have guessed that this place would be so large on the inside. A track is placed on the second floor with men and women jogging past us. I almost don’t notice a burly man approaching because I’m too busy gawking until Hayden pokes my side.
“Good to see you on your day off, Hayden.” The man grins, clapping his hand down on Hayden’s shoulder a few times before his brown eyes drift over to me. “And who is this?” He raises a brow, sending me a friendly smile.
“This is my boss, Dan.” Hayden bends down slightly to say this with a roll of his eyes. I make a noise of acknowledgment, which makes his boss chuckle.
“Elsie!” I introduce myself, sticking my hand out to shake his. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh…” He drawls out in a hum of delight. “You’re the girl Hayden always talks about!” Dan concludes, a knowing look in his eye, and I frown a little while Hayden looks away with an embarrassed flush to his face. “You’re lucky to have such an ambitious boyfriend.”
I nearly choke on air, and my eyes widen, gulping to compose myself with a light shake of my head. I peek up at Hayden to see his vision still trained on the track in front of us, refusing to make eye contact.
“Uh, no…” I correct but stumble over my words so it doesn’t sound too convincing, but it’s not like Hayden is helping. “Abby is his girlfriend. I’m just the best friend.”
Dan’s lips curl down, flitting his gaze over to Hayden for a quick second. “Hm…” He hums, clearing his throat right after, feeling the palpable tension. “Well, Hayden is a wonderful employee and is practically a part of the family. So, you’re welcome here whenever you’d like.” He drops one eye down in a wink, trying to lighten the mood.
If only he knew that physical activity isn’t necessarily my thing.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” I chuckle, looking up to see that Hayden has now decided to rejoin the conversation.
“You kids have fun!” He bids us goodbye, walking backward while sending us one last smile before skipping down the stairs.
I force myself to not think about the pressure that’s still surrounding us after that conversation because if I do, I might just go insane, and I already am when it comes to Hayden.
His hands tremble a bit when he runs one through his hair to tame it. He looks down at me for a quick glance, but our eyes seem to attract each other like magnets.
“Have you ever gotten into the ring, like for real?” I ask the first thing that comes to mind, something that’ll ease whatever just happened.
He perks up. “I have like once or twice, but I’m training to really fight.” He grins, almost bouncing on the heels of his feet like an excited kid on Christmas. “I honestly thought you would have made a big deal about my safety or something.”
I want to, but I can never make him feel like I don’t support the things he likes. “I’ll always worry about your safety, Hayden. But it makes you happy, and that’s all that matters to me.”
He inhales sharply when a sudden solemn expression falls over his face. “I’ve been the worst friend,” Hayden whispers, a dimple denting his cheeks as he averts his gaze.
“People make mistakes.”
“But I keep making them.” He emphasizes, biting his lip and slumping.
“And I keep forgiving them.” I counter back quickly, crossing my arms to take a deep breath. “We both seem to have really bad decision-making skills.”
It was honest, and I don’t regret it. We both make the same dumb and recurring decisions all the time; we need to come to terms with that.
Hayden’s chin dips to his chest in shame. He nods in acceptance before mumbling something about wanting to show me one last thing.
I’m brought to the back of the building. A heavy door is pulled open, and on the other side is a dingy and dark corridor. Another set of stairs is at the end, but these don’t look as new as the ones in the main gym.
“When I do have a match, I’d like for you to be there.”
Hayden’s words startle me in the deafening silence as we walk up the steps. The only sound is my obnoxious boots clanking against the metal loudly.
I turn my head to get a look at his profile, smiling gracefully as I let my hand rest on the bar next to me. “Then I’ll be there.”
What he wants to show me is the rooftop. The chilly October air surrounds the both of us as I stand next to Hayden, leaning against the wall that reaches mid-torso to keep people from toppling over. The sun has just started to set on the horizon, making a beautiful mixture of pastel colors swiped in the sky.
“Why did you bring me here?” I exhale to break the silence between us, wanting to close my eyes because of the peacefulness of it all.
“I wanted you to trust me again.” His voice shakes, and his brows pull as he ponders. “You’ve always been the one I can say anything to without feeling judged or bombarded with questions, and I don’t want that to change.”
It’s nice to know that he feels that way. He doesn’t share his emotions with me too often. It’s rare. However, I greatly appreciate it when he opens up like this. I feel like I see another side to him, a more genuine one.
“I’ll always support you, even if you want to be a professional boxer.” I tease, nudging him with my elbow, and we share a light laugh; his is a tad more forced than mine.
“You don’t have to forgive me right now. Just know that I’m so sorry and that you’re my favorite person ever.”
Some may call me an idiot who is a glutton for punishment, but they wouldn’t understand. He’s the only person that’ll truly ever know me. The only one who can make me feel like I can’t breathe when he looks at me, and the only one who I’ll always love more than anything.
“I forgave you the second you walked into my house this morning.”
Hayden wraps his arm gingerly around my shoulder to haul my body closer to his warmth, pressing his lips to my forehead.
“You really are too good for me,” he murmurs against my hair, causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach
“Yeah…” I tease through chuckles, earning a few from him. I give into the temptation, leaning further against him to rest my head on his shoulder.
His stomach grumbles loudly. “Can we go get food? I’m starved because my mom didn’t let me finish my breakfast.”
I don’t bother questioning as to why he never got to finish. “Children in Africa are starving. You just eat too much.” I poke his taut stomach, and in a second, he’s thrown me over his shoulder, arms wrapped around the bend of my knees. “Hayden Jones! Put me down!” I shout through giggles, and he cackles as he walks until we make it to the front desk on the first floor.
&n
bsp; “Bye!” Dan says after us, and I lift my head to send him a halfhearted wave, returning to beating at Hayden’s back and scolding him.
“See you tomorrow.” Hayden chuckles, jolting forward when I smack his ass to get his attention. I only receive a light pat on mine in return, and that makes me roll my eyes.
“And you call yourself a boxer.”
Chapter 13
Elsie
I haven’t felt this content in quite some time. Things have been oddly going my way and running smoothly, which makes me giddy and happy. It was so relieving to talk everything out with Hayden before things got too out of hand.
It makes me feel pathetically special to know that I’m the only one who knows about his boxing, besides his sister and his mom. Of course, I was surprised, but I know he’s always loved to fight. It gets all his frustrations out, but I never could have guessed that he would take it so seriously.
No matter what happens between us, I’ll always support him. Even if one day we aren’t in each other’s lives—which breaks my heart to think about—I’ll have his back. He’s always been my biggest fan, and I’ll always be his.
I’m a believer of depending on yourself and no one else because people can let you down and disappoint you, no matter how much you mean to them. Hayden and I are the biggest examples of that. Even though I want him to be in my future, I’m just not sure anymore.
I can hardly wrap my head around that, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. People grow apart, and friends you have in high school are hardly around when you’re older. I hope that nothing awful breaks us. It would be best if one day we realize that we just aren’t in the same place anymore.
We’re complete opposites sometimes, and I hope that’ll help us out in the long run, that maybe we can make it through our adult years, and further, with each other. Even if that means I still can’t have him in the way I want, I’ll be okay.
The Best Friend: A Young Adult Romance Story Page 7
