Book Read Free

His Fantasy Girl

Page 14

by Nina Croft


  She really hoped that would finish the conversation, but he stayed where he was, looking down at her. “I thought we had a chance together. That there was something between us.”

  And now she felt guilty. Great. “I thought so, too. I’m sorry, Jack. I’m just at a strange place in my life right now. Jenny needs me and…”

  “And you’re seeing Logan McCabe.”

  “I am not seeing him. Well, not like that.” And it’s none of your goddamn business anyway. But she kept the words to herself.

  “So what were you doing in the early hours of the morning with him?”

  Breathe slowly and think nice thoughts. Christ, if Logan could do it, so could she. “He was giving me a lift home after my shift finished. Though that’s really none of your business.”

  He shook his head. Again. “You’re making a mistake getting involved with McCabe.” He waved a hand to the computer screen. “And it won’t do your chances of getting into the bureau any good.”

  “Why the hell should it have anything to do with the goddamn bureau? My private life is exactly that—private.”

  “Don’t be naive, Abby. It’s who you know that matters. It always has been, and I’m telling you—Logan McCabe will drag you down.” Then he turned and walked away.

  She watched his retreating back as she mulled over his words. Could Logan really hurt her chances of becoming a detective? Part of her wanted to deny that it could have any effect, but as Jack had pointed out, she was being naive.

  Sometimes she hated the way things were.

  She was good at her job, and she’d make a great detective, and that should be all that mattered. Putting Jack from her mind, she finished the application form, took a deep breath, and hit send.

  When she got home an hour later, Jenny had just left for school. Her mother was drinking coffee at the kitchen table and glanced up with a smile. “You look tired.”

  “I am. I’m going to go to bed.”

  “Could we talk for a few minutes first? There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Abby sank down into the chair, searching her mother’s face. As far as she was aware, her mum wasn’t due any check-ups for another two months, and she’d seemed so cheerful lately. “There’s nothing wrong is there?”

  “No, nothing like that. I’m fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. This is something else. Nothing bad, I just…”

  She got up, poured Abby a coffee, and slid it across the table to her. Abby cupped the mug in her hands and waited. Whatever she’d said, there was something wrong—her mum was pacing the room. “Sit down and tell me.”

  She sat opposite, pursed her lips, twiddled a finger in her hair, and said, “I’m going back to your father.”

  “What?” Whatever she’d expected, it hadn’t been that. Abby hadn’t had direct contact with her father in years, and she knew deep down that she was still bitter about him and his ultimatum. She wasn’t sure she would ever forgive him. No way would she ever have considered an abortion, but if her mum hadn’t sided with her things would have been very difficult. “I didn’t even know you were seeing him.” Her mother had kept very quiet about that.

  “I went to see him after I got the all clear from the cancer. It was weird, but I really wanted to see him before that, and I’d been thinking about it for a while, but I couldn’t do it while I was ill. Afterward…well, I thought, why not? Life’s too short to hold grudges, and I loved him. Still love him. What he did was wrong, but he thought he was doing the best thing for you.”

  “And he’s asked you to go back to him?”

  “He asked me straight away. I couldn’t leave you and Jenny then, but things are different now.”

  “How are they different?”

  “Well, you have Logan.”

  “I do not have Logan.” Her head was pounding. She pulled out the pins that held her hair in place and ran her hands through it, pressing her scalp. “Jenny has Logan.”

  “But he’s going to be there for you. You won’t have to shoulder everything alone. And he told me his lawyer is drawing up a maintenance agreement, so money will be easier.”

  Something occurred to her. “Have you been wanting to go back to him all this time but stayed away because of me?”

  “Honestly, I never thought about it. It wasn’t an option, and I was very angry with him for a long time.” She was silent for a minute, but Abby was aware there was more to come. “He wants to see you and Jenny.”

  “Does he?”

  “He knows he made a mistake, a huge mistake, but he’s sorry.”

  “Really?”

  “Don’t be cruel. He’s paid for that mistake. I won’t ask you to see him, but I would like you to. I’d like us to be a family again.”

  Abby sipped her coffee and traced a pattern on the table with her fingertip. “This is such a surprise,” she said finally. “I knew nothing about it. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Her mum shrugged. “You had a lot going on, and I knew you’d…disapprove. You see everything in black and white, and you can be very unforgiving.”

  That made her sound truly horrible. She didn’t want to be like that. “I’ll see him, and I’ll take Jenny.”

  “You needn’t worry. I’ll still be around when you need me to look after Jenn. She can sleep over at the house when you’re working nights and she’s not at Logan’s. Or…”

  “Or?” Abby prompted.

  “Or you could move back with me. Both of you.”

  She thought about it…for all of two seconds. While she was ready to let her father into their lives, no way was she going to live with him again. Just the thought of Jenny having to experience the stifling atmosphere she had grown up in made her shudder. “I don’t think that would work.”

  Her mother smiled. “Maybe not.”

  “You’ll be okay? You won’t let him bully you?”

  “I’ll be fine. He’s changed. He missed us all.”

  Could people change? Her mind flew back to Logan. The thing was, she didn’t want him to change. She liked him just the way he was. Liked him too much. That wasn’t the problem. No, the problem was that he would never fit into her life, and he would probably never want to. He wasn’t the settling down type, he was the lets-have-some-fun-and-say-good-bye type, and with Jenny in the picture that wasn’t an option.

  So it was up to her to be the sensible one.

  And she was so fed up with that.

  It was his daughter’s first sleepover. Jenny had been so excited about her new bedroom. Logan had told her she could decorate it any way she liked and she’d been talking non-stop through dinner about her plans. Now she was tucked up in that bedroom, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  As they closed the door behind her, he turned to Abby. She was staying over as well, and he’d had hopes that she wouldn’t be using the spare room he’d set up for her. He knew they needed to be discreet around Jennifer—no screaming—but he could manage to be discreet with the proper incentive.

  What he didn’t think he could manage was another night without her. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he was addicted to his fantasies and his fantasy girl.

  He slipped an arm around her waist, but she shrugged it off and walked down the hall, leaving him standing there, watching her go. A frown tugged his brows together.

  He’d been distracted by Jenny’s excitement, but now that he thought about it, Abby had been distant all evening. She’d hardly spoken a word directly to him. His frown deepened and he rubbed a finger down his chin. He didn’t think he would ever understand what was going on inside her head. Maybe that was part of the attraction. Though he did wish he could get a glimpse of her thoughts right now.

  He’d believed they’d come to some unspoken agreement that morning at the warehouse. He wanted her. She wanted him. They were fucking fantastic together. His dick gave a little twitch of agreement. Now, she was obviously having second thoughts, or third, or…whatever. He was beginning to doubt he’d
be acting out any fantasies tonight, unless it was on his own. He groaned. He couldn’t believe how much he wanted her. Needed her even. When had that happened?

  He followed her slowly down the stairs. She headed back to the kitchen and started to clear up, and he leaned against the door watching her for a minute. He liked seeing her in his house. but he wanted her attention right now. They obviously needed to talk, if that was the only way to find out what was on her mind.

  “Leave that,” he said. “My housekeeper will do it in the morning.”

  She turned, a small frown on her face. “You have a housekeeper?”

  “Yeah. She looks after the place and walks Grunt.”

  “Of course she does.” She dried her hands and turned to him. “I might go to bed then.”

  He’d shown her to the spare room when she’d arrived. But he was damned if he was going to let her disappear there now. “It’s only nine o’clock.”

  “I’m tired.”

  “Well, a glass of wine will help you sleep.” He crossed the room and grabbed a bottle of red from the rack. When he turned, she looked on the point of bolting. “We need to talk.”

  Her brows drew together. “We do?”

  He got the corkscrew from the drawer and opened the bottle. “You obviously have something on your mind.”

  “I have?”

  He lifted up the bottle. “Come and talk to me. Like normal people. You can tell me what’s bothering you, and I’ll give you my expert advice. And afterwards…”

  “Afterwards?”

  “We can talk some more. Unless you’d like to do something else.”

  For a moment he thought she would say no, but she gave a quick nod. “Okay. There is something I want to say.”

  That didn’t sound good, but at least she wasn’t going to bed and leaving him alone. He led the way into the lounge and saw her glance briefly at the chair where he’d fucked her that first time, before she sat herself primly on the edge of the sofa, knees together. She was in navy slacks and a white shirt tonight. One day, when she loosened up with him a little more, he was going to take her shopping. Get his wild girl back.

  He poured two glasses of wine, handed her one, and sat down beside her, keeping a little space between them. Not because he wanted to, but he sensed she might walk out if he crowded her. They were quiet as she sipped her wine. When the first glass was gone, he leaned across and poured her another. He hadn’t taken a drink of his own yet. Finally, she relaxed back and heaved a huge sigh.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked.

  “Nothing really.”

  “Come on. Spill it, Abby.”

  “I spent the whole of last night’s shift pretending I didn’t notice everybody whispering about me. And I didn’t manage to sleep today. I’m just tired.”

  “Why were they whispering?” Though he had a pretty good idea.

  “You know why. That prick West told everyone about seeing you and me.”

  “Ignore them.”

  She turned to face him, head tilted as she studied him for a moment, clearly not particularly liking what she saw. Then she drank some more wine before speaking. “I know you don’t care what people think about you, but I’ve worked hard to get where I am. I’ve earned their respect.”

  And being seen with him would hardly enhance that. And he wasn’t naive enough to think it didn’t matter. It could make her life difficult, and that pissed him off. He had an urge to go punch them all in the heads, but that would hardly help anyone. “They’ll soon forget, or find someone else to talk about.”

  “Maybe.” She tugged on a loose strand of hair. “I’m applying for a place in the detective bureau, and someone suggested that my relationship with you might hinder my chances.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “That we didn’t have a relationship. That you were Jenny’s father and that was it.”

  His eyes narrowed on her. “So fucking up against a wall in the early hours of the morning doesn’t constitute a relationship.”

  She bit her lip. “I’ve upset you again, and I really didn’t mean to do that.”

  “No, it just seems to happen all on its own.”

  “This isn’t about you, it’s about me. You’re…so comfortable with what you are and I’ve always struggled to fit in. But I’d succeeded, finally, and now…”

  “And now screwing around with me is making you look bad. You know, image isn’t everything.”

  “I do know. It’s just I’ve wanted this for so long. Anyway, it’s not your problem, and I’ll work it out.”

  She didn’t seem convinced, was still worrying away at her lower lip with sharp white teeth, and he wanted to lean over and soothe her with strokes of his tongue, kiss her until she forgot about all those assholes she worked with. Until she forgot everything but him. He dragged his thoughts away from that road, not wanting to frighten her off. At least now she was talking to him, even if he didn’t particularly like what she had to say. And he was guessing there was more. That small frown still marred her forehead.

  “Something else gone wrong?” he asked when she remained quiet.

  She flashed him a glance. “Not wrong exactly.” She took another sip of wine and another deep breath.

  “Come on, sergeant. You know the old saying—a problem shared is a problem halved.”

  Her lips almost curled into a smile at that. “It’s not a problem. It might actually be a good thing. I just haven’t wrapped my head around it yet.”

  “Around what?”

  “My mother and father are getting back together. She’s moving in with him.”

  “What about you?”

  She quirked a brow. “What about me?”

  “Are you and Jenny going with her?” He didn’t want her to. It was none of his business, but he didn’t want anyone else looking after them but him.

  “No. We’ll stay in the old house. Mum has said she’ll babysit whenever I need her. We’ll be good.”

  He didn’t think, just opened his mouth and words came out. “Perhaps you and Jenny should move in here.” For a few seconds he was shocked into silence by his own speech. He’d never invited anyone to move in with him before. Never even come close to wanting to. But when he thought about the idea, he liked it. It felt right.

  That way, even if the physical relationship with Abby petered out—and he couldn’t imagine that right now—then he would still have her close. They could be friends. He’d never had a woman friend before; he wasn’t a particularly friendly guy, but he could make it work. He’d make the effort for Abby and Jenny. They might not be a real family, but they would be together and that was important. He’d spent his first ten years hardly knowing his father. He understood the importance of family.

  “Are you out of your mind?”

  Her words dragged him out of his rose-colored vision of the three of them playing happy families. He watched her warily as she slowly placed her glass on the table in front of her. She clearly wasn’t enamored of his offer, definitely wasn’t jumping up and down and squealing with joy at the idea of sharing a house with him.

  “It’s a big house, so why not? You could have your own room,” he offered. He’d actually envisioned her sharing with him, at least at first, but that might be a little optimistic. Best not to crowd her. On the other hand, he wanted her with him. “Or we could share, at least until one of us wants some space.”

  She stared at him, brows drawn together as though she were translating his words from some weird foreign language but they made no sense at all. “Completely out of your mind?”

  He ignored the warning signs and kept right on going. Excitement was shooting through him. Something told him this was the way forward, an opportunity he shouldn’t throw away. “We’d get to spend time together, and I’d get to spend more time with Jenny without taking her away from you. Come on, Abby, think about it…it makes sense.”

  She shook her head slowly. It was dawning on him that she wasn’t experiencing the
same sense of anticipation he was. From the tension radiating from her small body, she wasn’t feeling anything good at all. “It makes absolutely no sense at all. You’re crazy if you think I’d move in here with Jenny. I told you seeing you could seriously damage my career, and what do you do—ask me to move in with you. Yes, of course it makes sense—if you’re a complete moron.”

  He opened his mouth to say something—what, he wasn’t sure—but she beat him to it. “Jenny needs a stable environment, not to live with some adrenaline junky who happens to have a—very probably short-lived—sexual fixation on her mother.”

  “You want something permanent?”

  She gritted her teeth. “Of course I don’t want anything permanent.”

  “Or is it that you just don’t want anything permanent with me?”

  She glared at him. “You know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is just you.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Sorry, that was uncalled for, but you bring out the worst in me. Come on, Logan. We’ve only really known each other a few weeks, but you do not come across as the sort of guy looking for commitment. Yes, it might be fun for a while. You’d get to play out your fantasies, and I’d have the best sex ever. But what happens when the fantasies run out, or you start fantasizing about another woman. What if you want to bring her home?”

  “I wouldn’t do—”

  “Wouldn’t you? How long do your relationships usually last? A month? Three months? Are you saying I’m different? You want to marry me, Logan? Give Jenny a real family?”

  He had no clue what to say to that. Not that he seriously believed she wanted to marry him. She was simply making a point. And making it very well.

  He’d never thought in terms of marriage. The word sent ripples of fear down his spine. Now he tried to get his head around the alien idea. Obviously he took too long, because she stood up.

  “I thought not,” she said. “I’m going to bed.”

  This time he made no move to stop her.

  Had he really asked her to move in?

  And had she really asked Logan to marry her?

  God, she’d seen real fear in his eyes.

 

‹ Prev